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Thread: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

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    Default Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    I suffered major hair loss almost a year ago due to a stylist who insisted that just a teensy bit more bleach could bring my light blonde to a gorgeous white. Lost about half my hair from the chin down. The only bright side was that with much thinner hair, extensions finally blended in without looking like a mullet and I could still rock long platinum at work. I'd also started doing my own roots pretty well too by that point so I thought I'd slowly recover my hair. Eventually the broken ends reached shoulder length and I cut the rest of my hair to match and had to do away with the extensions because the mullet look came back, but I felt kinda sexy in a 1950s starlet way so it worked out.

    Then a couple months ago my AC broke with a full application of bleach on my head in 95 degree weather, and just the little bit of bleach that traveled down the shaft from sweat broke off a few chunks at like 4". There's enough left at bra strap length that it reads that length when styled. The only way to hide the damage, though, is to curl my hair every day I work and push it all to one side. It looks okay as long as I'm really meticulous (I even have customers rave about my hair sometimes) but in my personal life it bothers me a lot to sit around knowing I have like 1/2 my hair left. Not to mention, the constant curling has to fuck up my remaining hair even more in the long term.

    One solution is cutting it, but it would have to be pretty damn short. Maybe I could get away with a lob but I don't know. And I would definitely have to rock the lob/bob at work because of the aforementioned mullet problem.

    If you were in my position, would you keep trying to hide the damage while it grows out, or just chop it and rock "short" hair (for a stripper) for the next year or two? In the past short hair always fucked up my earnings pretty badly, although I was way more alt looking back then.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Unfortunately, there aren't a whole lot of options in this situation. Bleach damaged hair cannot really be repaired. I used to maintain the platinum white blonde look ... and like you had to work with extensions on more than one occasion due to damaged hair.

    In my own case, 'short' hair was not saleable because it conflicted with the overall 'Marilyn' look of my dancer persona. No way to know how 'short' hair will affect your own salability unless you try it. Obviously, cutting off undamaged longer natural hair makes 'blending' very difficult. Worst case scenario is wigs.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    I was in a similar situation about 4 years ago. I had bleached blonde hair but what ended up being the problem was a bad dye job which forced me to strip then bleach again after a couple Brazilian Blowouts which was insult to injury. Top that with everyday blow drying and curling/flat iron and I'm surprised I had as much hair left as I did. Anyway I ended up cutting it to shoulder length and still had shorter broken pieces.

    I stopped bleaching (still colored), blowdrying and using any hot tools at all. I learned to straighten by wrapping and add waves and curls with buns and flexirods.
    I began stretching washes and now only wash once every 4-5 days. I use only natural hair products, sulfate and silicone free and learned to use oils.
    I bought wooden brushes and combs.
    It was a TOUGH process. Total overhaul but one of the best things I ever did. Especially if you want to maintain bleached or dyed hair.

    The result was I went from grossly damaged hair to beautiful strong, shiny and healthy hair. It grew to my waist.

    Unfortunately after an illness this past winter I suffered a major shed and the ends were so thin I had to cut 2-3 inches off. It will grow back fast though and before I cut I did a beautiful ombre! The other silver lining is that my bangs and shortest layers are finally FINALLY all the same length.

    My advice is to cut it but if you intend to grow, get a cut that will grow out gracefully. Be very careful with that bleach!! And try to minimize the hot styling and washing. Good luck to you. I know what your going through! Losing as much hair as I did and having to cut it after so much hard work and patience was truly devastating.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kisa7513 View Post
    You can only make so much selling dances, but when you really get into a guys head and heart, you get into his wallet.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Gosh, so sorry that happened. Do you treat your scalp w/anything..I was thinking maybe some avacado oil, (natural vit.E). I had some hair loss, some damage as well. I started using the African Pride braid spray, which has some great herbs in it, gentle to scalp, & it seemed to help the irritation I had from me touching up my roots.
    Also I tried to handle my hair as gently as possible, wore it up at home w/a wooden stick


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    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Hmmm … from what I'm reading in this thread I feel like I must be the lowest-maintenance dancer to reply, so take it for whatever you think it is worth

    Why not just trim off the dead sections & do whatever recovery/strengthening treatments are necessary to remedy the problem? Danni's suggestions sound like the way to go. Put down that bleach, back away from the hot tools, & go have sm fun w/ wigs. I am sure you could find an appropriate platinum wig, + one or two others for when you feel like smtg different. Idk, that just seems to me like it would be the simplest way to go abt it -- just give your hair a total break (no pun intended) & a lot of TLC to let it recover on its own.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    rock the lob or bob!! from your pictures you are hot enough to go in there bald and make money.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    What kind of extensions do you use?

    I find that avoiding the mullet look is to have layered extensions-- that avoids there being such a clear point of when extensions begin and real hair ends. Also, I cut mine up into a million pieces and spread them out a LOT throughout my hair, focusing as well on the very under part near your neck-- I honestly prefer clip ins because I find I tend to be a bit better at thickness, placement, etc than my stylist, the only thing I go to them with is layering.

    My hair is totally fucked and yes been for years and I honestly don't know why, I barely touch it and some of it doesn't even come down to my ears.... but I've had HOUSEMUMS not realize I was wearing extensions. The only time people talk shit is when they get dried out and nasty or there's bad color match.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Thank you so much for your replies. I think I may have to sacrifice not only length but color at this point. I trusted myself more than professionals who either left me $350 shorter and scrambling to tone out canary yellow or to buy extensions after burning off half my hair, but I couldn't deal with an unexpected circumstance that caused damage comparable to the last time I made the mistake of trusting a pro. Next unexpected circumstance could result in more ear length patches/wigs as an inevitability.

    Right now my roots are on the borderline between hot-trashy and regular trashy so I have to make a decision quickly. If I go back to brown, I can have long healthy hair with a great natural texture in like, five years, but lose my rare/profitable niche as a voluptuous Barbie (which I JUST achieved thanks to my new boobs!). Or I could go all in and bleach my roots again to a medium blonde for an eventual ombre effect/minimize future damage, get a bob, and try layered extensions like audrey suggested. Wigs are really far out of my comfort zone, though. Any thoughts? Also, sorry if I'm overthinking this!

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    I vote for Ombe. I did the same when I was growing out my hair after cutting. I ended up going red but I'm back to ombre now and love it. Putting more bleach on your roots is just going to make things worse especially with bald patches. And Ombre looks cute with short cuts!
    d306355f5a6d866bfebfb1f0ac3b1a66.jpg2af806e034b645f2aea640e024a25bb3.jpg
    61249196df6d03ad8da82a5afc5b025a.jpg
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by Kisa7513 View Post
    You can only make so much selling dances, but when you really get into a guys head and heart, you get into his wallet.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Is the hardcore-bleaching really necessary to achieve your look? I realise that might be a dumb question, & also that any chemical treatment is going to cause sm degree of dmg, but I just ask bc I have only ever gone darker so bleach was not a must-have for me. Is there no other less-radical way to get the colour you want?

    I still stand by the wig option, at least until sm lf the dmg is remedied. Maybe you could get accustomed to it OTC first, kina like breaking in a new pair of heels b4 working in them. In the meantime, until you feel confident enough to rock the wig at work, try one of the other colour suggestions. Barbie may have been blonde, but most of her friends were not.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    How many dancers do you guys know who use wigs/serious extensions? Do they get away with it? The last thing I ever want to hear again from customers is "What's your real hair look like?" That's what I got wearing extensions (granted, they were probably bad because of the lack of layering...).

    So my plan is bleaching my dark brown roots to a med blonde on my own tomorrow (this will be much less risky than aiming for white) and shelling out a lot of cash for a great lob ASAP. I just hope I don't get shamed by the stylist. They tend to get mean when you walk in with self inflicted damage, even when they know you'll pay a premium for your mistakes, so here's hoping it's a positive experience! And more importantly, here's hoping that customers will be into a voluptuous blonde bombshell with a 60's sex kitten bouncy bob.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    I think you have a good plan. Go easy on the heat and chemicals and you'll be able to grow it out nicely! Maybe add a few of the darker blonde color towards the length to give it a more ombre an blended look.
    Any good stylist shouldn't berate you for the mistake but rather be confident in his/her ability to make it look like a choice and not a correction. Good luck and keep us posted!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by Kisa7513 View Post
    You can only make so much selling dances, but when you really get into a guys head and heart, you get into his wallet.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by lol1337a View Post
    How many dancers do you guys know who use wigs/serious extensions? Do they get away with it? The last thing I ever want to hear again from customers is "What's your real hair look like?" That's what I got wearing extensions (granted, they were probably bad because of the lack of layering...).

    So my plan is bleaching my dark brown roots to a med blonde on my own tomorrow (this will be much less risky than aiming for white) and shelling out a lot of cash for a great lob ASAP. I just hope I don't get shamed by the stylist. They tend to get mean when you walk in with self inflicted damage, even when they know you'll pay a premium for your mistakes, so here's hoping it's a positive experience! And more importantly, here's hoping that customers will be into a voluptuous blonde bombshell with a 60's sex kitten bouncy bob.
    I've probably had like, 5 customers ask me if I was wearing extensions over the 5 years I was wearing them? Most of my escorting clients don't even know. The thing is though you HAVE to make sure the color match it good and the hair is in good condition, cause guys can be so catty. It's always when they're dried out, which makes them get matted, or the color match is bad I get the 'are you wearing extensions?' question. I go really natural with my extensions though, mine come just a bit below my boobs, I think if you go longer than that then you'll get more questions. I have a friend who has natural hair down to her butt and she is forever plagued by questions of whether she's wearing extensions or not, and she isn't, and guys sometimes still won't believe her!

    I don't known about wigs, I literally bought a $350 wig cause I wanted it to look good and my house mum told me it looked horrible and I couldn't wear it....

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by lol1337a View Post
    How many dancers do you guys know who use wigs/serious extensions? Do they get away with it? The last thing I ever want to hear again from customers is "What's your real hair look like?" That's what I got wearing extensions (granted, they were probably bad because of the lack of layering...).

    So my plan is bleaching my dark brown roots to a med blonde on my own tomorrow (this will be much less risky than aiming for white) and shelling out a lot of cash for a great lob ASAP. I just hope I don't get shamed by the stylist. They tend to get mean when you walk in with self inflicted damage, even when they know you'll pay a premium for your mistakes, so here's hoping it's a positive experience! And more importantly, here's hoping that customers will be into a voluptuous blonde bombshell with a 60's sex kitten bouncy bob.
    i've never had any guy ask if i was wearing extensions unless they felt the clips with their hands..but i buy real hair ones that match and blend them in really good. most guys have been shocked when i unclipped a stand of hair and clipped it back in. i can see why you wouldn't wanna go the wig route, i personally can't stand them and i think you have to get a really good one..so many of them are SO obviously fake and they are SO itchy and hot especially when you're on stage. then you gotta deal with the "falling off in the middle of a set" problem with pins, tape, glue, whatever..so i definitely think you should either go all natural or extensions

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Also, try this conditioner that was mentioned here awhile bk.: Shu Uemura Ultimate Remedy restoration Mask. It's 70.00 but worth it, & a little goes a long way.
    Also, consider Rene Furturer Astara, it soothes the scalp. Aloe (without alcohol) or, go the route w/the African Pride Braid Spray.
    Worried about your scalp!
    Last edited by whirlerz; 09-18-2014 at 04:52 PM. Reason: to add.


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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i've never had any guy ask if i was wearing extensions unless they felt the clips with their hands..but i buy real hair ones that match and blend them in really good. most guys have been shocked when i unclipped a stand of hair and clipped it back in. i can see why you wouldn't wanna go the wig route, i personally can't stand them and i think you have to get a really good one..so many of them are SO obviously fake and they are SO itchy and hot especially when you're on stage. then you gotta deal with the "falling off in the middle of a set" problem with pins, tape, glue, whatever..so i definitely think you should either go all natural or extensions
    Yeah, they're easy to hide. Honestly the guy I've been dating for a month and a half now just figured out I was wearing them yesterday and only because he pulled on my hair and one came out! You'll be fine, no one will notice.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    You could still get a half wig and wear with your Bob and part and blend the hair to make it look real, I have damaged hair from years of bleaching and recently starting tinting my own hair, it's now honey blonde and my ends are still lighter but you can nearly notice with my wig because I part my hair and its honey coloured with highlights, I rarely wear my own hair out its always tied up but out it looks like ombre. Guys never think my hair is fake.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Thanks again everyone!

    I managed to get my roots to a darker blonde that blends well with my ends without losing any more hair. Unfortunately all the stylists I was referred to by friends for cuts are booked for the week so I'll either style around the damage like I've been doing or go to a good salon that does walk ins and pray, and maybe bring in my old extensions and ask them to put in some layers. Wish me luck!

    ETA: Does anyone think short hair makes curvy women look heavier? I'm already at the high end of my weight so I'm nervous. I've been looking at Christina Hendrick's bobs and I think it works because she has a ton of volume, hopefully I can style my future bob big enough/find some great half wigs to mimic her look (FYI-- she wears at least a half wig in all her TV and public appearances).

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    ^yes, I do. That's the main reason I wear extensions. I love short hair.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Snapshot_20140920.JPG I just started using this product, because even though my hair is long, I have breakage in the middle,(from Dyeing), and also, it's been way too hot here this entire summer, and I cam a lot.
    It looks sooo good.
    It's called "The Perfect Bob", by CONAIR. it's very easy to put on.
    Sold at CVS, Walgreen, Riteaid
    You could use it with Your extensions, or without.
    Hope that helps.
    Last edited by Glamourmilf; 09-21-2014 at 09:15 AM.

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    I actually just lost some hair myself recently. I have a sharp A-line bob with a backshave now lol. I seem to be making more money with the platinum blonde than I did when it was allover UV-glow pink and longer, probably because I feel sexier with my hair like this. I always feel like I make more money when I like my hair.

    I've actually never danced with hair longer than a bob, though, so YMMV

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    Belated update: I got a long blunt bob that reaches my collarbones and I LOVE it. I feel so much more fashionable now. Sadly I had my first significantly lower than average night since starting at this club my first night with it and got spooked. It could have been a coincidence but I'm gonna be wearing extensions for a long time anyway. At least I feel great everywhere else I go..

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    Default Re: Probably need to rock a bob, definitely overthinking. Advice?

    ^don't read too much into it. I went red about 8 or 9 months ago (had to become brunette because of the ginger bias here) and my first night I did really, really bad. But it was just a fluke, because I ended up making way more money in the USA as a redhead than as a blonde. It probably had nothing to do with your hair, but if you become obsessive and insecure about it and think there is a link, well, unfortunately you'll create one!

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