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Thread: Afraid to spend my $$

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Afraid to spend my $$

    Okay..For some reason when I start making a lot more $, I also become a lot more anxious about spending it. I've been holding onto my money with an iron fist. I have an unfinished tattoo that I really want to complete, but I don't want to spend money on it. There's a camera I've been wanting for over a year. I could totally afford it now, but I don't want to spend the money. All our bills and basic needs are paid for and we're fine. I have this huge stack of cash I've collected over the last 3 weeks dancing and I can't bring myself to spend any of it. I know I need some new outfits and I *really* need new stripper shoes as well but I'm McScrooge over here about my money. Anyone else have this problem? I think I'm creating a scarcity mindset for myself. I don't know how to stop being anxious and just allow myself to spend my money on things I want/need.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$



    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    YES me too. I think it's because summer was SO bad and I don't dare believe that it's going to stay reasonably good... I have a couple hundred I could spend right now but I refuse to.
    I have "money anxiety" anyway... unless I have at least a month of bills saved up, I refuse to spend money, and get pissy at things that force me to spend it (like, if I drive bf somewhere and the trip causes the fuel light to come on).

    We work in a very unpredictable industry, so I think it's only fair to be a little wary of blowing all your money. You're not guaranteed a $2000 paycheck next Friday like vanilla jobs. You may make $300, or you may make $3000 next week.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Maybe it would make you feel better to put some of it away into a savings account? You'll not only feel productive, but you'll know that you have all your bills and basic needs covered for x amount of time in case you don't make enough down the line. If you already have a healthy savings account, consider investing, at least in the form of a retirement fund. Pay yourself first and then you won't feel so bad about spending on shoes or any other fun purchases.

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    Okay..For some reason when I start making a lot more $, I also become a lot more anxious about spending it. I've been holding onto my money with an iron fist. I have an unfinished tattoo that I really want to complete, but I don't want to spend money on it. There's a camera I've been wanting for over a year. I could totally afford it now, but I don't want to spend the money. All our bills and basic needs are paid for and we're fine. I have this huge stack of cash I've collected over the last 3 weeks dancing and I can't bring myself to spend any of it. I know I need some new outfits and I *really* need new stripper shoes as well but I'm McScrooge over here about my money. Anyone else have this problem? I think I'm creating a scarcity mindset for myself. I don't know how to stop being anxious and just allow myself to spend my money on things I want/need.
    Okay. Here is the thing...

    Wanting to SAVE money is a good thing. But investing in necessary things to make MORE money is priority #1.

    What's most important?

    A few pairs of WORK Shoes.
    Some new WORK Outfits.
    Yep. Go right ahead an buy those. They'll increase your income. They'll make your shift more successful/comfortable.
    Look up deals/sales/discounts to save even more.

    Shoes, outfits, and upkeep are basically the cost of doing business. Set a solid number (and not a penny more!!!) to spend on the absolute work-related necessities in any given amount of time.

    But don't get it twisted... The other things mentioned aren't as important. They're simply "nice-to-haves".


    Camera? Nope. I don't think so. You've gone a year without a camera that you really, really want. You can wait on that for a few more weeks. Plus, holiday deals on electronics will be coming up in mid October.
    Tattoo? I'd suggest holding off on that because you'll need time to recover, hence you'll need to take some time off from dancing, which means... you won't be banking while your skin heals up.
    Instead, make an appointment to complete your tattoo during a slow period in the year. That way you you won't be missing much.

    I don't want to get all Suze Orman on you... but the fact that you're resisting the temptation to splurge is a sure sign that, deep down inside, you KNOW that you shouldn't splurge on those things at this moment. Those things are optional.

    Save as much as you can from the good weeks so that you have steady footing during the variable weeks that will undoubtedly come.


    1810suze-orman1.png
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Thank you Sophia! Excellent advice. I'll definitely wait for October to get my camera then. Now I'm thinking I'm going to wait until right before my vacation to get my tattoo done. I'm going to visit family at the end of the month and taking a week off. It should be healed up enough by the time I get back. Thanks!!

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    I wish I had this problem, the only way I stop myself spending is by working all the time!.
    xoxo

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    i know exactly how you feel, the more money i make the more scrooge-like i become. i haven't gone on a full clothes shopping trip in 3 years..i just get a pair of shorts/pants here and there when i REALLY need it.
    put it in savings/invest it!! its awesome that you want to save, so many girls just blow all their money and have nothing to show for it after 10 years. on the other hand, don't go overboard, and make sure to cover all your expenses and treat yourself once a week to something..we get naked and deal with assholes, we deserve to take ourselves out once in awhile.
    sometimes i'll become such a miser that i won't even want to cover my own basic needs and i have to remind myself that money is there to be spent on things i need..its just paper otherwise

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Work attire is deductible too. Go on and buy your new shoes. Wore off shoes can be a little bit dangerous on stage too. Slippery slope.

    You can get a good pair for 50 bucks.

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    Featured Member rareaspasia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Agree that you should spend some on work stuff but I suggest setting up a solid emergency fund of enough money to cover three months of bills before spending on luxuries. I do this and it saved my ass when I needed time off this year and it saved me a lot of stress.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i know exactly how you feel, the more money i make the more scrooge-like i become. i haven't gone on a full clothes shopping trip in 3 years..i just get a pair of shorts/pants here and there when i REALLY need it.
    put it in savings/invest it!! its awesome that you want to save, so many girls just blow all their money and have nothing to show for it after 10 years. on the other hand, don't go overboard, and make sure to cover all your expenses and treat yourself once a week to something..we get naked and deal with assholes, we deserve to take ourselves out once in awhile.
    sometimes i'll become such a miser that i won't even want to cover my own basic needs and i have to remind myself that money is there to be spent on things i need..its just paper otherwise
    Haha! I know right? After my first night back I made less than j$300 and I was like "OMG I"M RICH!!!!!" Now I have this huge stack and I feel like it's nothing. I also never go clothes shopping and I've been wearing the same pair of skinny jeans for almost 4 years. All my old winter sweaters are pretty much thread bare so I'm gonna have to suck it up and go shopping soon. I also have no problem spending money on my husband or son, but I don't like spending on myself.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by chanzep View Post
    I wish I had this problem, the only way I stop myself spending is by working all the time!.
    Me too. I try so hard to resist the urge to spend, but fail more often than not. I think it is smart to have a month's worth of expenses saved up for anyone. I need to get my ass in gear and save some money.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    • I have this huge stack and I feel like it's nothing.
    • I never go clothes shopping and I've been wearing the same pair of skinny jeans for almost 4 years.
    • All my old winter sweaters are pretty much thread bare.
    • I don't like spending on myself.
    Ehh. I'm in the same boat.

    I'm not a fan of shopping, I don't like to part with my hard earned cash, and I don't feel the need to purchase the latest knick-knack that everybody drools over.

    I work with ladies who lease or purchase vehicles more often than I get haircuts. I know people who purchase a new cell phone 3-4 times per year. Do you know the girls who get a brand new (expensive) purse every other week? I know I do!

    I'm not judging them. Though I'm pretty sure they're judging me. Perhaps I seem like I don't care. I do care. I just don't care about keeping up with the Joneses or broadcasting my earning power through trappings and material possessions. That's just not my cup of tea.

    A good, worn-in, pair of jeans is priceless.

    Don't concern yourself with the arbitrary "norms/stereotypes" that hover around this industry. Prioritize.

    Don't feel odd about being true to yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    ^I also drive an old (but reliable) van that I paid for in cash because I learned the hard way that car notes are a bad idea. I have a pay-as-you-go phone that I bought on sale for $60 2 years ago. It's still a smart phone but nothing fancy. I just don't care about phones! I don't care about gadgets. I do kind of wish I still enjoyed fashion. I used to be so into it, but I guess I've lost that interest. Maybe I'm just getting old. I do want to go to Hong Kong for Christmas vacation and move to a cute house next year and get a dog. I'd rather spend money on those things.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    I'm not a fan of shopping, I don't like to part with my hard earned cash, and I don't feel the need to purchase the latest knick-knack that everybody drools over.

    I work with ladies who lease or purchase vehicles more often than I get haircuts. I know people who purchase a new cell phone 3-4 times per year. Do you know the girls who get a brand new (expensive) purse every other week? I know I do!
    My problem isn't that I buy stuff. I buy time/ experiences. If I bought stuff, I'd have stuff to sell when money got tight. In many ways, the dancers who buy designer things are much smarter than those like me who enjoy vacations and organic food and fancy gym memberships.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    ^ i'm the same way, but think of it this way..your gym membership and organic food is buying health, something way more valuable than a handbag, and your vacations are buying you memories which you'll have forever ( ok, that sounded cheesy but its true!)

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    Okay..For some reason when I start making a lot more $, I also become a lot more anxious about spending it. I've been holding onto my money with an iron fist. I have an unfinished tattoo that I really want to complete, but I don't want to spend money on it. There's a camera I've been wanting for over a year. I could totally afford it now, but I don't want to spend the money. All our bills and basic needs are paid for and we're fine. I have this huge stack of cash I've collected over the last 3 weeks dancing and I can't bring myself to spend any of it. I know I need some new outfits and I *really* need new stripper shoes as well but I'm McScrooge over here about my money. Anyone else have this problem? I think I'm creating a scarcity mindset for myself. I don't know how to stop being anxious and just allow myself to spend my money on things I want/need.
    I'm the exact same way. I have a scarcity mentality / complex about money (which isn't healthy, especially by "Law of Attraction" standards). It's all about finding that balance between two extremes: buying things that truly make you happy / improve your life and spending money wildly on things that you don't actually need or wouldn't truly enjoy.

    I'm still working on this in myself, so I don't have any helpful advice. Awareness is key.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    So I hate to quote my mother but you need to prioritize. The way she always tells me to do it is "is it a WANT or a NEED"?
    Work clothes and shoes are a NEED. You only need one or two pairs of shoes not one in every color and you only need a couple work outfits so don't go overboard. A camera? Well, it's not a NEED but if you can find a really good sale on it, I say get it. Every now and then, you need to treat yourself and reward yourself for all your saving and working.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    This thread is hilarious!

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    ^^Sorry, I don't find any humour in talking about saving or spending money, but I'm glad you've found a reason to laugh...

    I think money has us all fucked up mentally...

    giphy69.gif
    Last edited by ScarletKitten; 11-26-2014 at 11:29 PM.

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by xcatxbrownx View Post
    This thread is hilarious!
    I must have missed the joke.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post
    My problem isn't that I buy stuff. I buy time/ experiences. If I bought stuff, I'd have stuff to sell when money got tight. In many ways, the dancers who buy designer things are much smarter than those like me who enjoy vacations and organic food and fancy gym memberships.


    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    ^ i'm the same way, but think of it this way..your gym membership and organic food is buying health, something way more valuable than a handbag, and your vacations are buying you memories which you'll have forever ( ok, that sounded cheesy but its true!)
    I'm the same way! I buy trips, adventures around the country. Classes from the most prominent pros in my field. I'm still high spiritually from trips I've taken years ago. I'm applying lessons learned and changing the entire trajectory of my life. I believe it's vital to travel and meet a ton of different folks to maintain perspective in a job that can be ridiculously myopic.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I'm the exact same way. I have a scarcity mentality / complex about money (which isn't healthy, especially by "Law of Attraction" standards). It's all about finding that balance between two extremes: buying things that truly make you happy / improve your life and spending money wildly on things that you don't actually need or wouldn't truly enjoy.

    I'm still working on this in myself, so I don't have any helpful advice. Awareness is key.
    There are tools on YouTube! You can get help right now in getting back in touch with how much you really deserve. The Universe will CONSPIRE to bring people on your positive wavelength TO YOU! My personal fave is Deepak Chopra. I literally listen to him as I dress for work and he gets my mind right. My VIP numbers went up even on slow days. Even more importantly it brings you back to knowing there are loving people in the world not all wannabe pimps or predators.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I'm the exact same way. I have a scarcity mentality / complex about money (which isn't healthy, especially by "Law of Attraction" standards). It's all about finding that balance between two extremes: buying things that truly make you happy / improve your life and spending money wildly on things that you don't actually need or wouldn't truly enjoy.

    I'm still working on this in myself, so I don't have any helpful advice. Awareness is key.
    I needed to read that today. I only shop at goodwill and get buyers anxiety whenever I spend more than forty bucks but I have a great life that is mostly very full and satisfying but sometimes I find myself feeling like my little Hyundai is inadequate or that my simple lifestyle looks dull. But whatever. I did realize that the only thing I drop serious cash on is my looks. It's funny that I use $90 face cream but won't spend more than ten on a shirt. Priorities!

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    Default Re: Afraid to spend my $$

    I'm the same way. I'm thankful for this thread and all of the great advice. I haven't had a savings account since last year and I'm definitely going to open one this week.

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