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Thread: Motivation drained

  1. #1
    Featured Member wish's Avatar
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    Default Motivation drained

    I'm not sure if this is the right subject for this forum so mod gods feel free to move if necessary. I feel like crying just typing this but here goes. I was/am a cam girl. But currently I'm not making any money because my confidence is gone. I started camming when I was 26 and a size 14. But I was diagnosed as bipolar at 28. Since then I've gone from a 13/14 to barely squeezing into my 18/20 clothes. Once I was diagnosed I've been unmotivated to enjoy life. I sleep all day, don't exercise any more... Don't...... Anything ! I just don't! Techniquely I'm not depressed. I have hope of better days and every so often I'll get my fat ass up and act human for a week or so. I've tryied a few things like having a gym partner (I just pissed her off), buying different Beachbody workout programs ($ thrown away), spa treatments. My self esteem is on zilch. I made a few ads recently and have over 20 guys waiting for me whenever I sign on but the idea of getting nude Infront of someone like this is turning into a phobia. It maybe time for me to stop camming after all I'll be 31 next month but I still need to find the will to live and not just survive. Any suggestions?

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    Veteran Member thelovelylenee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Motivation drained

    *** hugs*** I know the feeing , try being really good to yourself and taking it easy , Yoga for me personally is surprisingly empowering , it feels good and makes me feel good about doing something for myself . Try non nude cam or invent a dominant persona where you can make clips , sometimes ifeel better about being naked if My face isnt involved ( weird I know ) but it works when your selling boot fetish clips . Direct your regulars to a NF listing , maybe having a "familiar friendly face" around can curb some of the anxiety . Feel better !

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  4. #3
    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Motivation drained

    You definitely sound like you are mildly depressed to me. Even though you still have hope, it sounds like you have all the physical symptoms of depression. If you can force yourself, take a walk every morning at sunrise for 20 minutes. Then come home and make some tea. Clean your house and car and remove all clutter out of your life. You should start to feel better, and you can move on to your weight loss goals or whatever. Maybe changing up your hair or getting your nails done will help your confidence. I've been in a confidence slump too and I'm a size 4. It happens to everyone!

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Motivation drained

    Aww. I hear ya..there was a book written about various types of sex work, it's kind of outdated..the lady who wrote it mentions at the height of her escort career she was a size 24. She's since lost some weight, but is still like a size 14+ I think?
    There's a great book by Brian Tracy, "The Power of Self Confidence". He also has some vids on You Tube.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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  8. #5
    Senior Member hamdinger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Motivation drained

    Hey girl. I have totally been in the can't-do-anything-but-bed vortex and I know it hurts. I agree with Wednesday that doing little things like taking a walk and cleaning your room/home can make a big difference. Also, try to eat some nutritious foods. Last winter I was so out of whack, about to lose it at school and with my boyfriend, and I turned it around with some diet changes. I think I was deficient in magnesium and vitamin D. Here's some info on nutrition and mental illness http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2738337/

    Huuuuuug

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  10. #6
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    Default Re: Motivation drained

    The 1st thing I would say you could do, probably the easiest thing since you are already online, type in funny junk/awkward names/stand up comedy. Whatever makes you laugh and laugh your ass off. Really hard for a while. Laughing is therapeutic. Laughing will change your brain mentally and will make physical changes as well. Laughing cures anything and everything. It does sound like to me you are depressed I think everyone has been there at some point. You aren't alone. My BF was diagnosed as bipolar as well, each day is different for him. Some times the meds are good sometimes it's so bad... it's inexplicable.

    Wednesday is right!! Cleaning out your closet/junk drawer/ whatever clutter you have really will help and you create room for you to breathe (literally) and room for new good things to come in. Do this everywhere you can, your purse/fridge/car etc. Walk everyday! It doesn't have to be 20mins it could be 5. Step outside your door and walk around your house or apartment building. At least you can say you got out and getting fresh air clears your mind. You can put on some music when you do this too. What kind of music do you listen to? Be careful you aren't unintentionally signing out lyrics that are negative, I know this fed my depression. Music can be used to bring you out of the slump.

    I make a list on my phone, in my notes, that I update every night. I write something good that I accomplished each day before I go to sleep. Sometimes it's something very simple but now that it has become a habit I find myself looking to achieve more goals so that I can add it to the list that night. I wasted a lot of time on the internet doing nothing like looking at photos, reading... there's nothing wrong with that but don't be like me and spend hours upon hours doing it. That's time you could be camming (if you still want to) There are points in a person's life where there's a fork in the road and you just need to find yourself again. You said "after all I'll be 31" how are you going to celebrate your bday? Make plans to have fun! That's what life is all about. Nobody said you can't cam after 30! There are plenty of 30+ models! Some of the most successful pornstars didn't get there until they hit 30s. Age is just a # and means absolutely nothing. Nobody even has to know. You could be 19 for all they know! I hope you laugh! Laugh a lot! I hope you get your motivation back and know that there is more to life than surviving hun but it is up to you to know how far you want this life to take you

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