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Thread: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

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    Veteran Member scarletl's Avatar
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    Default Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    This was a discussing I was having yesterday with one of my long term regulars and I was asked If I felt camming was somewhat self damaging or slightly soul destructing and my answer was yes.

    My life before camming and my life since camming is totally different, including my attitude and outlook on life. I feel since camming I am allot more secluded and less sociable. I feel my patience is a little low and my outlook on life is probably more negative than it used to be.
    I feel in some what it has damaged my sexually. I have always been a sexual person but obviously camming has been an eye opener and introduced me to a whole new sexual aspect. Possibly giving me unrealistic expectations of sex and turning into a slight nypho.

    I generally feel like im not living "the normal life" that most people lead.

    Do you find camming has damaged you or certain aspects of your life? Is it soul destructing in some way?


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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I think it can be if one allows it.

    If I did everything that was asked (demanded) of me, it would damage me. If I was so desperate for money that I felt like I couldn't say no, or block guys when they start to irritate me, it could definitely be destructive to my soul.

    But I set hard limits. If a guy is too creepy, too demanding, too hateful (that shit right there is why I'm almost never submissive on cam) I just say no. If he insists, I block him. If I don't want guys to call me names (which is most of the time) I don't let them call me names. I'm not afraid to stop what I'm doing, stare into the cam, and tell him that it's not acceptable for him to talk to me like that.

    If you truly have self-respect then no one can take it away from you.

    This doesn't sound like what you're going through at all, but that's the only way that I think camming could be truly soul-destructing for me, personally--if I did things I truly do not feel comfortable doing. I don't, so my soul remains intact.


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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    A little, yes. For someone who is not that sociable to begin with, it's turned into less. I'm not from the area I live, and I haven't made the best effort to make friends. Though, I'm content of the three I have here. I've always been a shut in.

    Camming gets all my social energy out I guess you can say. I know my husband would prefer me more sociable.





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    Veteran Member starcraft's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    how camming changed me? well, lets begųn with some good things: i started appreciate honesty and fair business. also i started be good to other people, i give a lot to charity and ect. also i started buy looots of pets bcs i feel so lonely when get back home.i understood that the most important thing we can have is beautiful soul. i became really patient whit what i do. bad things? i became not sociable at all. sometimes i have days when i dont use my native languange at all. only english. last partie i attęnded was before 2.5 years. last club i went at was before 1.8 yeara. i have depression and i cant get pregnant anymore...

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    Featured Member CurvyWinona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Well, yes. It made me more hermit than before. It drains almost all of my energy out of me and then I would not want to go out and see my friends. Also, it can potentially limit the future hospital jobs if I ever want to look for a non-camming job again. I think I have became way more hidden from the real world, because I do not want to be outed.

    But, I am still happier than I was when I was working at the retails and in the hospitals. I prefer to deal with the custies online than in the real life, because it won't fire me if I talk shit back or to block them. In retails, I cannot do that and I was always paranoid of possibly being fired one day due to my lack of patience. I was already at the point where I do give middle fingers to some annoying co-workers and being a total bitch to the customers who had no slightest of common sense.

    Other positive side about camming, it gives me more freedom for vacations and able to continue to work anywhere I go. I can take as many as off days I want to rest due to my illness and I do that often. It allows me to take days off to care my family whenever they need me. I do not even need to ask for days off.

    I think it is not too self-damaging if you are able to ignore the assholes online and you are able to keep go out and have fun from time to time.




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    God/dess TheBrownFox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    I think it can be if one allows it.

    If I did everything that was asked (demanded) of me, it would damage me. If I was so desperate for money that I felt like I couldn't say no, or block guys when they start to irritate me, it could definitely be destructive to my soul.
    This x 100!

    And no, camming hasn't damaged me. If anything, it's made me a little bit more aware/annoyed of men and their bullshit. And has confirmed that what they care about most is that thing between their legs. Shit, my damn foot was bleeding once during an MFC private show (I had hit it on something sharp under my bed), and the guy didn't give a shit. He just sat there stroking his cock. Not even a "Are you okay???"

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    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    It can be soul sucking. Especially sites like MFC where you feel the need to be so engaging and entertaining for hours on end, and 95% of the time for FUCKING FREE. ( I loathe that site can you tell). I mean let me pull the midgets out and grease up the ferris wheel because I have to be the 3 ring circus announcer when I get on there. Soooooooooooooooo draining.
    That said on days where I make what I need it's not self damaging at all. I don't do anything I don't want to and I run my room how I see fit.
    I have pretty much always been a recluse. I find most people to be self centered and it's all about what can you do for them or they don't want to know you. (pretty much like camming from the customer pov or from my pov LOL)
    But the reality is I have worked my share of regular jobs and I much prefer the irregular lifestyle. Regular jobs are soooo much worse. They want you doing 5 people's jobs for 1 persons pay. You have to kiss ass. The schedules suck the customers are just as demeaning. If you want a sacred extra or certain day off you better ask 4 months in advance. When you apply for the promotion they make you go to 3 in house interviews and then you find out the kid that got it his father knows the manager really well. The next promotion opens up and no lie you find out the milf got it because she was scewing the ceo. ( who's wife finds out and leaves him!!!)
    I could go on and on and on.
    Basically if you love yourself and do what you need to be happy you can just brush all the camming nonsense off when you need to. Unless it's an extra hard day where guys are being super turds and you are premenstrual and there's no money.


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    Featured Member seicento's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Yes!It changed me and not for good.I dont go out,somehow I managed to lose the few friends I had,maybe lack of interraction irl did it,is not enough to be on the phone to mentain a friendship I guess,sometimes I dont get to see the daylight bcs I work at night and if I ll do long shifts I will sleep all day and it got worse 3 years ago when I moved to another area,I am all alone here so I started to go out less and less.Since I stopped going out I`m dealing with anxiety and panic atacks.I am that type who puts everything into camming and is taking all my energy,because when I log off my mind is still there and this is why I became what I am now.With the earnings I have lately I came to the conclusion that is not worthy anymore to live the hermit life.In a few months I may be able to switch to something else where I ll still be my own boss but at least I will interract with humans irl,go out and repair the damage camming did over me.

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    Senior Member aven's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I think any job can be self damaging if you let it. camming does seem to have higher risk for being self damaging then other jobs. It does not have the checks and balances that other jobs have. ( likes set hours to work, co,works, time off) with camming we have to make sure that we take care of your self. Because no boss is going to look at us and send us home when we are really sick. I feel with camming that it is easy to get stuck and to stop learning new thinks unless you reach out and branch out into new areas.... Once I am bored with something I feel that it starts to become self damaging.

    with camming as like any work at home job you have to make the effort to get out and be social... and the less you go out the harder it because to go out.

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    Veteran Member scarletl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Seems like we're all pretty much in the same boat.

    I've never really had shit from guys, it's rare that I've been insulted and it's rare that anyone has tried to get me to do anything I don't want to do. I never feel like they are taking from me. I am there to provide a service and they purchase that service.
    I just feel this isn't really where I wanted to be.

    I was secluded prior to camming due to suffering from panic attacks and anxiety (which seems uncannily common within the cam girl community). So I can't blame camming for that but what it does is it stops me from facing reality, stops me from having to make the life change of getting a social life. I do have friends but not many.

    It's ruined a relationship of mine that was there way before camming come into the picture.

    And now my earnings are not making up for any of it, the money I now earn does not justify showing the world my body.


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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    NO! Cause I remember in my 20s working 2 jobs. One at pizza hut as a waitress & at Sizzler at a runner who had to keep the salad bar stocked. Working 2 jobs on my feet all day long, no real breaks. Putting in 12 to 16 hour days, my feet & legs swelling up even though I was in great shape to twice their size.
    I remember how the bosses treated me like shit. I remember the pay being shit. I remember How I had no life, no money & crying myself to sleep at night being on the verge of homeless. Working so hard & getting no real results.

    Now I have a career, a life. I can work hard & see the benefits pay off in spades.

    I have no pity. I can't stand the whining girls do on here about this job. It is quite simple, get out & do something else if you feel you are being hurt mentally. Go work in a so-called real world & pay your dues.

    Sam


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    Veteran Member starcraft's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    oh please. i couldnt do simple job bcs i would stay homeless. since each day i have 5-8 hours lectures and simple 4 hour job hwre would bring me 200 bucks per month... and i have no choise. i read some girls have holidays. well i didnt have holidays longer than 4 days for 3 years .... and after lectures is till work 6 hours. and i would give anything to be in country like usa ... ubfirtunately stuck here in east country and have eat shit... and cant even get green visa without diploma...

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    also anyways i make max 2000 bucks per week after all discounts i have.... so i guess i can whine as much as i want:p

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    God/dess anonymous camgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I think it is not so bad if you have a large social outlet, maybe lots of family , friends and a boyfriend.. if you have NONE of that which I don't .. it's pretty damaging... .. People IRL is key.

    People you can feel supported, loved and cared by... Kinda hard to work online all day with guys who don't care when no one cares IRL either.


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    Veteran Member starcraft's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    month** not week lol

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    Veteran Member scarletl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous camgirl View Post
    I think it is not so bad if you have a large social outlet, maybe lots of family , friends and a boyfriend.. if you have NONE of that which I don't .. it's pretty damaging... .. People IRL is key.

    People you can feel supported, loved and cared by... Kinda hard to work online all day with guys who don't care when no one cares IRL either.
    That's exactly it! You need a normal standard life with friends, family and partner and then camming as an addition to life.
    When camming is your life it's suffocating. Im thankful to have a huge family but I still get lonely as they all seem to be getting on with their lives and doing their own thing.


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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    i can say i have no family:/ and no bf. and no friends bcs my bfs couldnt handle my always working schedule... :/

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g
    I can't stand the whining girls do on here about this job.
    Well if they can't whine here with fellow cam girls, who else can they whine to? Certainly not to their judgmental, Bible-thumping family members/so-called friends. A person should be able to vent about their job from time to time with like-minded people who get it. I don't know anyone who NEVER vents about some aspect of their job.

    I hear ya, though, about people having to work their asses off, and still hardly being able to live. It's shitty to live like that. When I was a kid, I wanted so badly to become a grown up. And now I realize...kids just don't know how good they've got it. LOL.


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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I believe it depends on the person. I come from a history of sexual abuse so I've always thought camming was either one of two things for me; liberating, and or self-damaging. I feel like I was allowing my abusers to control my sexuality and mind in a way by using me. I was so drawn/attracted to it so deep inside of my core. I believe subconsciously I was "acting out" to get back at and use men. In other words I was still allowing the abuse to effect me. This is also something I found that I had issues with in relationships. I attracted a certain type of man and I tend to use them to get what I want but there's no "feeling" for me in sexual settings. Sort of like a hustle like a trade off. It's like I had a mindset of a permanent sugar baby or something, even in my marriage.

    The other part I felt I could work from home selling my sexuality and that felt great but I often wondered if I wasn't sexually abused if I'd be in this line of work. Probably not. My plan is to give it a few more years, use it for what I can and get out and heal. I still have a life time of counseling to do.

    However lately I started to change my perspective. Instead of allowing adult work to negatively effect me I decided to start thinking more positively and using it as a tool to get to where I need to go. That in fact I will/would still need counseling whether I was a cammodel or not. What happened to me as a child is something that will follow me no matter what I do for work. It's how I deal with it that matters. Now, camming is a tool and only a tool for me. I have changed my outlook on it, meditate more, and have a new strict budget to follow until I'm ready to let go. I no longer feel its damaging but helping me get to where I need to go in life

    As far as socially, I keep my work separate and have tons of outlets and friends but I tend to be a bit of a hermit anyway.
    Last edited by kortneykay; 09-25-2014 at 08:21 AM.




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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Any job can be seen as damaging, soul-sucking, terrible, etc. It's all a matter of perspective. I was never all that social to begin with. I hate parties and going out. I don't have friends, really, besides my boyfriend and his friends. If anything camming has made me more social. The beauty of the internet is being able to be social without having to leave your bedroom.

    When it comes to the haters or the sexual harassers, well, the ban button is a beauteous thing. And I don't let it get to me because there are always ten other people telling me that I'm awesome and pretty and cool. I'm a sucker for flattery, sue me.

    The only bad thing is my view on sex and nudity is a little skewed. I live in a college party town where getting half naked and parading around is common and encouraged. I actually enjoy that part. However, when someone asks for a flash my gut response is "50 tks please". I have money and sex all wrapped up and tangled with each other. Not the healthiest mindset.

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    God/dess Issabelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I think camming is eye opening, not damaging and certainly not self-damaging. Camming gives me a different lens for seeing reality, but how can it be self-damaging if it just changes preconceptions?

    I didn't trust men before, but I was very polite, graceful, and borderline-welcoming towards their attentions in that I still believed my 'social programing' which dictated I must be 'polite' and 'chat' with any man because I somehow owe him my time (even though it's obvious he just wants in my pants). Since I started working in camming (and honestly, moved away from home and didn't have anyone to shield me), I have no patience for this game of social faces and tell men who so much as get too close to me or even ask for my name exactly what level of hell they can go to. If they try to introduce themselves to me in front of my other friends, I won't let the Queen Frosty Bitch persona (so termed by the men I turn down now) go until my boyfriend or his friends show the guy is clearly okay in their books.

    If anything, camming just made me realize I was entirely too accommodating in my role as a woman on society's stage. Other men and women can play the 'mating game' of 'oh hello, what's your name? May I buy you a drink? Get your phone number? More alcohol will loosen you up. Let me give you a ride home...' Yeah buddy--let's skip the dance. Get the fuck away from me.

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    Last edited by Issabelle; 09-25-2014 at 01:03 PM.


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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Working in the adult industry for me has been a cycle. Meaning when I first started years ago I was filled with energy and was excited about learning new things. I researched it all day long and applied everything I learned to my own business. Then gradually I started to burn out and view things differently and became a hermit. Naturally I'm outgoing and love to socialize. So I took a break and worked more on clips and running affiliate sites. This way I didn't have to interact with people who only saw me as a shell and nothing more. When I came out of that stage I was able to look at live performances in a different light. Mainly because I didn't HAVE to cam but wanted to cam. It's a big difference I've found in when you desperately need the money versus having a good time and taking whatever comes. So now that I can fully support myself on my earnings and save my income and can get back to getting excited about. I started learning new things all over again. I'm doing the same things as before but with a different perspective. Also if I didn't work in the adult industry I would have never had enough money to pay off student loans and go back to school in an industry that I love. Being a camgirl has not broken my spirit but it's given me the confidence to pursue a new career. Yes there were some dark moments in the past but I turned it around and reminded myself that making this money pays for the next stage in my life. Also once I got back to treating this like a business I gained insurmountable skills that I never would have obtained during IT support. I swear the decisions to become a sex worker and a bartender turned into being the best training I will ever receive.
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    Senior Member TashaToday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    As a whole, absolutely. I thank all the deities that I didn't get into dancing or camming in my late teens, because it would have destroyed me.

    I've worked in sex shops, door and security at swinger clubs in my teens. In my 20's, dancing and camming. I can say without a second of doubt that working retail was over and above more damaging to me than sex work. I'm supposed to stand behind a cash register, or fold clothes, or whatever mundane task you give me, and I'm going to smile through the abuse? An item you want to purchase isn't being scanned correctly so you call me a cow? As a manager, you demean me when you say I didn't do a task when I say I did? I have a HUGE problem with people telling me what to do, especially when I see a more important task that needs completed, but because you have a label different than mine, I'm suppose to bow down? Try again!

    Camming has been amazing. I am a sweetheart of a switchblade, and men respond appropriately to that. A big perk is that I get into the mind of the average man. I might not like what I learn, but I would rather know the truth than live in ignorance. It's a big, tough world, but I want the upper hand. I'm a sensual woman with a massive appreciation for fetishes, and all the disappointing facts that I learn, makes me more money. And do I love money!


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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by starcraft View Post
    i can say i have no family:/ and no bf. and no friends bcs my bfs couldnt handle my always working schedule... :/
    Hugs to you bb. Get that money then get you some better friends. Sounds easy I know. It's not. But someone recently gave me this advice "You are only as rich and successful as the company you keep." When I really thought about that and put a plan into motion I started to realize how true that is.
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    Veteran Member Morrigan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I cant really say it's done too much one way or another - or some of the good gets negated by some of the negative. It may be easier to break them down like that:

    Positive:

    Gave me an outlet that allowed me to feel slightly more myself and comfortable in my own skin ( long story to that)

    Has really given me some amazingly funny stories to share with friends, wife and my mother - oh my mother absolutely loves hearing the fucked up stories we tend to have

    Oddly enough on the level with my Mother, its sorta helped cement me more in a " daughter" light with her and made everything much easier - also leading her to give tips, suggestions or ideas for shows and so on- mom has never been one to hold back anything from us and was always open, but its nice that her convo has altered and adapted to a new life.

    its done wonders in over flowing my closet with new things, be it things I collect, or my wife finds while shes out that she thinks Id like hehehe

    It's really drawn the interest of my friends in the sense that they know if Im working that they tend to be on skype and keeping me occupied and high spirited if its slow, or cheering me on when its doing well -


    Negative

    It has created a system where I beat on myself a little more if things are slow, as if something was my fault and I let it shake my confidence now and then.

    the freedom of being myself in a more social situation has sort of made me look at my life in the aspect of being caged more or less when it comes to expressiveness ( long long story to this as well)

    Its forced me to lie a little more, more so with my boys whom obviously at 14 and 9 are not stupid and noticed a sudden change in how my office is set up or why Im suddenly staying home when everyone else is going out for a few hours ( well obviously so I can work!)

    indifferent / general dislikes etc

    I really am not a sexual person. While I actually did get a customer base that tends to be quite fun and talkative, and generally pretty kind ( honestly Ive gotten perhaps 2 dicks ever, and still by blacklist is blank) - I HATE the actual performing. I let my mind drift or shift into a very methodical state not too unlike when Im being payed to do a painting or something- its less expressive, my hearts not in it, its purely mechanical - nobody seemed to notice, but generally yeah It didnt help or diminish my already next to nothing sex drive
    Hatred does not cease by hatred but only by love; this is the eternal rule.

    " What is Reality? An icicle forming in fire."
    -Dogen Zenji

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