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Thread: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

  1. #51
    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Funny enough, the thing that wears on me about camming and makes me self-loath is actually not the customers at all, no matter how bad they may be.

    It is all the little ways that the majority of the companies that I've worked for have, for lack of a better word 'scammed' the camgirls that work for them. They essentially treat the people who are making money for them as disposable and that is what makes me want to get out of the business.

    Of course, not all companies out there are like that.....there are some really amazing companies I've worked for but sadly they are the exception to the rule.

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  3. #52
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Yes, it has been damaging. I started when I turned 19 (I'm now 21) because I needed the money. When I turned 18 I was working commission sales at Macy's Herald Square. While I was pulling in decent money (~1.2k, which I thought was A LOT at the time), I knew I needed something faster.

    I have noticed changes in me. I'd rather stay in and cam than go out. Because money.
    I've built my college course schedule that allows me to cam, instead of making friends at college. Because money.

    My attitude is a lot more negative. If you're not giving me money, then I don't want to talk to you.
    I feel like people are temporary.

    But then there are trade-offs: I've paid my younger brother's attorney fees. My mother's textbooks since she's going back to school.
    I've been able to buy my own car, own apt, saving for plastic surgery, etc. Basically do things that people my age normally wouldn't be able to do at 21.

    Camming has also turned me into a liar and more secretive. I feel like I'm living a double life. No one knows what I do except for my brother.
    Students at school ask me how I pay for these things. I say "with money". I have become more materialistic --- and never satisfied, like I'm going through the motions to get the next thing.


    I am terrified that my degree will not allow me to have a 9-5 that earns me 100k. I can't work a normal vanilla job for less than 70k. Being spoiled with sex work money, I just can't.


    Basically, "fuck you, pay me"

    I think it's because I'm more bitter than anything else since my single mother kicked me out when I was 17. And I've been forced to do it all on my own.
    Last edited by xoprincessremy; 09-25-2014 at 09:43 PM.

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  5. #53
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Thank you for this Sam. I was having a shitty night kinda feeling sorry for myself, I NEEDED to read this.



    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    NO! Cause I remember in my 20s working 2 jobs. One at pizza hut as a waitress & at Sizzler at a runner who had to keep the salad bar stocked. Working 2 jobs on my feet all day long, no real breaks. Putting in 12 to 16 hour days, my feet & legs swelling up even though I was in great shape to twice their size.
    I remember how the bosses treated me like shit. I remember the pay being shit. I remember How I had no life, no money & crying myself to sleep at night being on the verge of homeless. Working so hard & getting no real results.

    Now I have a career, a life. I can work hard & see the benefits pay off in spades.

    I have no pity. I can't stand the whining girls do on here about this job. It is quite simple, get out & do something else if you feel you are being hurt mentally. Go work in a so-called real world & pay your dues.

    Sam

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  7. #54
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by luvnrockets View Post
    Hmmm, I'm not sure that's the proper use of the term "psychotherapy." Most psychotherapists would argue that you're not helping yourself by treating men like shit. No offense, but being a sexist bitch won't make your past go away, and hating half of the world is a ridiculous thing to do. Your behavior on cam IS real life, and your customers are real people. It's sad that you feel the need to disrespect them because of their gender.

    There was a man-hating thread a while back that really reinforced the sex-worker stereotype...of hating men. I know we're a community of women here, but ffs I'm getting tired of this shit on here.
    Just wow. Sounds like you need a little... something! Like maybe a bar of soap. This is just dirty. Take a bath and clean your conscience.

  8. #55
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I have a few physical problems that make working a vanilla job difficult but even if I didn't I'd still cam. I've held a lot of jobs and am trained in a couple of professions, hairdresser, medical/legal transcription work (did it for years, made fairly good money but ugh, hated the hours and the controlling atmosphere), even worked in a national park.

    I do bitch about this and that but then I remember how lucky I really am.

    Nothing compares to making my own hours, working from the comfort of home, being able to take off when sick without telling anyone or asking, diversifying my income with many sources. I've had bronchitis this week, was horribly sick but was able to rest and get well without a boss breathing down my neck, and no fear of being fired.

    This work is a dream come true.


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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Genoveve View Post
    Why does she need to 'clean her conscience' for humanizing customers/men?

    I have made many a comment about things women do as it directly relates to our industry, namely flashing tits, sucking dildo's showing pussy and giving away other miscellaneous services but I would never stoop so low as to call any woman here or in this industry a bitch. It's low class. It's a low blow and it's uncalled for. That said, men have been dehumanizing women for years. We are paid less for doing the same work. Our health insurance and car insurance rates are higher. We are over sexualized in the media and have ridiculous standards set for us which is why we have assholes coming to our pages and tagging us with crap like, "chubby BUT sexy as if being a normal, healthy woman isn't beautiful. The dehumanization from men to women is rampant and readily accepted as a part of many cultures. If I choose to buck that culture and return the favor by specializing in SPH and Cruel Domination, and any other way I so choose, it doesn't mean I am a, "bitch" or ok to be told, whatever it was she said about me dehumanizing men. +++ LAUGHABLE++++ It's what they ask for and pay me for. It makes me feel good. It makes them feel good. It also doesn't mean I treat every man badly, it means I do it on cam for a living. It's a niche. A fetish. It means I've found my place within this industry by turning a negative into a positive.

    She needs a bath. Go cleanse the dirty off herself.

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Your follow up post is called gaslighting FYI. I found the ignore option.

    http://counsellingresource.com/featu...8/gaslighting/
    Last edited by Airrrie2; 09-25-2014 at 10:57 PM.

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    just came off a 12 hour shift. I spent the last 3 chatting intermittently to one of the most interesting people I have ever met. Someone who has made me see myself differently. This is the thing about camming is that you would ordinarily have to travel a far way to meet interesting people, but with camming, the world comes to you.

    Camming is healing for me because in life I spent a lot of time being degraded and on cam its the opposite. I do the GFE niche so I get close with a lot of my custies and they all have sincere things to say about me that make me realize I'm not as shitty as real life assholes said I was. Its healing me in a way. I have come off cam feeling euphoric way more than wanting to cry.

    Sure, there are aspects of my personality that have changed, but I feel that perhaps this is me getting strong and assertive for the first time ever. not taking shit and having a "fuck you, pay me" attitude is what you need for this job. its not an arena where you defer to people. Each job is different, this is just how this one is.

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Airrrie2 View Post
    I have made many a comment about things women do as it directly relates to our industry, namely flashing tits, sucking dildo's showing pussy and giving away other miscellaneous services but I would never stoop so low as to call any woman here or in this industry a bitch. It's low class. It's a low blow and it's uncalled for. That said, men have been dehumanizing women for years. We are paid less for doing the same work. Our health insurance and car insurance rates are higher. We are over sexualized in the media and have ridiculous standards set for us which is why we have assholes coming to our pages and tagging us with crap like, "chubby BUT sexy as if being a normal, healthy woman isn't beautiful. The dehumanization from men to women is rampant and readily accepted as a part of many cultures. If I choose to buck that culture and return the favor by specializing in SPH and Cruel Domination, and any other way I so choose, it doesn't mean I am a, "bitch" or ok to be told, whatever it was she said about me dehumanizing men. +++ LAUGHABLE++++ It's what they ask for and pay me for. It makes me feel good. It makes them feel good. It also doesn't mean I treat every man badly, it means I do it on cam for a living. It's a niche. A fetish. It means I've found my place within this industry by turning a negative into a positive.

    She needs a bath. Go cleanse the dirty off herself.


    xoxo ~ Sarah




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  17. #60
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by SimoneGray View Post
    just came off a 12 hour shift. I spent the last 3 chatting intermittently to one of the most interesting people I have ever met. Someone who has made me see myself differently. This is the thing about camming is that you would ordinarily have to travel a far way to meet interesting people, but with camming, the world comes to you.

    Camming is healing for me because in life I spent a lot of time being degraded and on cam its the opposite. I do the GFE niche so I get close with a lot of my custies and they all have sincere things to say about me that make me realize I'm not as shitty as real life assholes said I was. Its healing me in a way. I have come off cam feeling euphoric way more than wanting to cry.

    Sure, there are aspects of my personality that have changed, but I feel that perhaps this is me getting strong and assertive for the first time ever. not taking shit and having a "fuck you, pay me" attitude is what you need for this job. its not an arena where you defer to people. Each job is different, this is just how this one is.
    Okay I guess camming has made me more jaded, because while reading about this beautiful moment all I kept thinking was....Man I sure hope she got paid for talking to them for that long.

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  19. #61
    God/dess SimoneGray's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by PhatGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    Okay I guess camming has made me more jaded, because while reading about this beautiful moment all I kept thinking was....Man I sure hope she got paid for talking to them for that long.
    I got a 30 min excl from him and then he just hung out in my room while I went between pvts etc. Sometimes I appreciate the chatters cos the minute other custies come in it seems my room is alive. But it is a rare occasion that I let them stay lol, I tend to make them pay for their time.

    On a side note, I think this is perhaps something for all camgirls to consider. When i first started camming I made myself a few promises. One was to be respectful of my body at all times. the other was that if camming ever made me feel hacked to the core of my soul or made me feel like less of a person inside, I would stop immediately and figure out something else to do. I think you have to make a promise to look after yourself while you do it, else you will pick up major damage.

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  21. #62
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by ABigNerd View Post
    In this respect, I think camming is like any other small business. It's a job for a person with an entrepreneurial spirit. Being your own boss is stressful. It's difficult to mentally 'clock out' at the end of the day. You take failures personally. It's so easy to get stuck in a rut. Sometimes you just can't muster the motivation to actually get to work.
    I totally agree with this. Most entrepreneurial books talk about the isolation that comes from working for yourself. The isolation that camming brings isn't exclusive to camming. It is the natural by-product of working for yourself.

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  23. #63
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    The only things I find anything close to damaging about camming are as follows:

    1. Software / Hardware / Internet / general tech issues.
    2. Site glitches.
    3. The fucking Streamate fucking encoder. XD


    I haven't even cammed in months actually, but even that doesn't matter: I ended up just putting more eggs in my basket via other means of income (clips, vids, pics, etc), so actually even cam burn out can have it's positive side.
    Last edited by Incantatious; 09-26-2014 at 06:10 AM.




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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    ^^miss you being around

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I can't afford to dislike men just yet lol
    I've not been married or had children and damn I need a man for those two things lol.

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Hmm, camming hasn't been super damaging to me. And in one strange way, it has made my body-image healthier. Seeing myself constantly on cam, working a crowd, smiling and dancing, being able to constantly study my own expressions and such. I have never really felt more certain in my own beauty. And it's weird, because I don't mean slamming body or anything, but I can see who I am. I can see how other people see me, because I'm watching myself, and at the end of it, I'm pretty goddamned awesome. I'm witty and interesting. I sparkle when I smile and most of what I'm dishing out is sincere joy. I'm a hugely social person, and camming hasn't changed that at all.

    It's just one more way for me to express myself, and if my mood is "fuck you, pay me" that day, than that is who I am.


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  31. #67
    Veteran Member KimKlass's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Camming can most definitely be self-damaging. Particularly to our mental states. So I'll focus on that.

    I think much of this can be avoided though if, for starters, cam ladies did only what they were personally comfortable with instead of bending to pressure from customers or even from themselves. For example: If you aren't comfortable with a particular thing but maybe are having a bad day on cam and some guy offers you money to do it- DON'T do it. If you cannot look yourself in the mirror and be proud of yourself instead of feeling low after doing something- DON'T do it. Never disregard your mental health for this job because as we all know, it can certainly take a toll on it and it is simply not worth it. Your self-esteem is absolutely priceless. Yeah, that extra $$ might feel good for a minute but when you wind down after your shift and think about it ... was it worth violating your boundaries? Everyone of us has different limits, but I really do wish all the ladies would stick to them. It's much healthier for us, IMO.

    I learned very quickly that I have to run my chat rooms exactly my way and to be unapologetic about my boundaries. Because probably 90% of the guys on these sites don't give a single fuck about how you feel when you log off or if they're making you uncomfortable. You have to look out for yourself when you turn off the webcam. The same applies to overworking yourself, letting slow times stress you out to an unhealthy degree, giving customers too big a piece of your headspace, and all that jazz that can come with the territory. Take care of yourself, and this job won't be damaging (or at least not too damaging haha).

    My personal experience so far with two and a half years of camming, however, has truly been positive overall. I have definitely had some stressful times, even depression resulting directly from this job. But I have learned how to manage the stressors from camming. I'm constantly tweaking this thing and that thing. I have turned my camming experience into something that is mostly enjoyable. Actually, it has taught me quite a bit about myself and about other people and I appreciate the life experience. So basically, when done right for YOU camming can be a great thing. When done wrong for you, camming can be disastrous.

    Sorry for the ramble lol.

    tl;dr Make boundaries and stick to them or you'll feel like shit.
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  32. #68
    Senior Member AngelMari's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBrownFox View Post
    This x 100!

    And no, camming hasn't damaged me. If anything, it's made me a little bit more aware/annoyed of men and their bullshit. And has confirmed that what they care about most is that thing between their legs. Shit, my damn foot was bleeding once during an MFC private show (I had hit it on something sharp under my bed), and the guy didn't give a shit. He just sat there stroking his cock. Not even a "Are you okay???"

    Totally with you!!! I can see through the bullsh*tters more so than prior to camming. I don't date much but then again I'm too busy with doing my stuff, hobbies, other work etc.

    I see it as a job just like any other- there's always good and bad people. You'll have that with anything you choose to do in life.

    I tell everyone I work as consultant (I am a telecom consultant) so the secrecy would be the only downside for me. Most of my women friends know and don't give a crap, I can't say I've ever been judged my friends which I'm pretty lucky. They think my stories are hilarious.

    It's not really soul sucking for me, I could be out there digging ditches.. I actually find it empowering and just another reason I love being me.

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I don't dislike men, I dislike men that feel entitled to freebies. I dislike customers that are rude, act like we owe them something or think it's ok to call us names. I don't care what profession someone does, you don't ask them to work for free and then harass them when they won't. That's the only part I hate about camming is free chat assholes.

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    ^ I also hate that many of the free chat option sites teach them to be that way, and then sometimes I end up hating the sites themselves for forcing me to re-educate the guys constantly.

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Great Advice let's see if that still applies after YEAR 10...lol...I think around the 5th year mark which was 2007 I was just sitting online counting the hours and grinning and bearing it.. sometimes even crying while I was in a show.. no one ever said what's wrong..LOL..... they just kept jacking off while I am dildoing myself.. then the recession hit and now I cannot hide how I feel anymore...LOL... cuz I have had it.. yes I should go or cut back hours.. I am crossing my fingers that time is near.

    Quote Originally Posted by KimKlass View Post
    Camming can most definitely be self-damaging. Particularly to our mental states. So I'll focus on that.

    I think much of this can be avoided though if, for starters, cam ladies did only what they were personally comfortable with instead of bending to pressure from customers or even from themselves. For example: If you aren't comfortable with a particular thing but maybe are having a bad day on cam and some guy offers you money to do it- DON'T do it. If you cannot look yourself in the mirror and be proud of yourself instead of feeling low after doing something- DON'T do it. Never disregard your mental health for this job because as we all know, it can certainly take a toll on it and it is simply not worth it. Your self-esteem is absolutely priceless. Yeah, that extra $$ might feel good for a minute but when you wind down after your shift and think about it ... was it worth violating your boundaries? Everyone of us has different limits, but I really do wish all the ladies would stick to them. It's much healthier for us, IMO.

    I learned very quickly that I have to run my chat rooms exactly my way and to be unapologetic about my boundaries. Because probably 90% of the guys on these sites don't give a single fuck about how you feel when you log off or if they're making you uncomfortable. You have to look out for yourself when you turn off the webcam. The same applies to overworking yourself, letting slow times stress you out to an unhealthy degree, giving customers too big a piece of your headspace, and all that jazz that can come with the territory. Take care of yourself, and this job won't be damaging (or at least not too damaging haha).

    My personal experience so far with two and a half years of camming, however, has truly been positive overall. I have definitely had some stressful times, even depression resulting directly from this job. But I have learned how to manage the stressors from camming. I'm constantly tweaking this thing and that thing. I have turned my camming experience into something that is mostly enjoyable. Actually, it has taught me quite a bit about myself and about other people and I appreciate the life experience. So basically, when done right for YOU camming can be a great thing. When done wrong for you, camming can be disastrous.

    Sorry for the ramble lol.

    tl;dr Make boundaries and stick to them or you'll feel like shit.

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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I'm very pleased that I created this thread because I have now realised what the self damage was in my life and it turns out it wasn't camming at all. It was my boyfriend all along.

    Tonight I found out that my boyfriend has taken his ex girlfriend abroad on holiday. Yup...that's right.

    This is a man who has been in my life for about 6 years and we was together 6 years ago for around 2-3 years, we broke up and he met someone else and I went off with a few guys. All along he hurt me and hid the fact that he was with this girl, because he wanted to keep me hanging on still. He finally admitted to being with her.
    He made me lose so much weight I hit 6 stone in weight, developed a multitude of mental problems and didnt leave my house for a year and was suicidal.

    Finally last November I built myself up to a real good place and I found camming (previous to this I was a domme on and off but not via camming) so I decided to start my journey as a NUDE cam girl. He got wind of this and funny enough come back into my life 2 months later proclaiming his love for me and asking for us to get back together and told me he dumped the other girl.

    I stupidly believed him (he was very convincing) he sat in front of my eyes and proved that by texting her and telling her he has now met someone else. He did not like me camming and drummed it into my head how much I was degrading myself and how I made him feel insecure. Yet all along his ex kept propping up here and there at occasions and he fed me shit and covered the lies. It come to the point where I had my friend come tell me this girl is still calling him her boyfriend and told me and this happened 4 weeks ago and he avoided me, his girlfriend for 4 weeks....

    then.....this is where it becomes interesting. He brought his sorry ass round to my house on Thursday to tell me that we should have a 2 week break because my camming is a bit too much for him and all the arguments that have happened we need to let the dust settle, and that he doesnt want to hurt me. So he suggested to not speak or see eachother for two weeks (I INSTANTLY thought and said to him, are you going on holiday because this seems weird, he denied)

    So...me being a clever little soul decided tonight to call her phone....and wallah an abroad ring tone and his phone is off.
    His gone on holiday with his ex girlfriend and I didnt even know. He left me feeling GUILTY and gutted of losing him because of the 2 week break.
    Last edited by scarletl; 09-27-2014 at 03:06 PM.

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  42. #73
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    "Little does he know I stopped my contraception months ago" I hope to hell you don't plan to trap him into having a child. He sounds like the last person you want a child with. Do yourself a favor and dump his ass for good. Don't take him back, don't miss his sorry ass and go on with your life. The best revenge for losers like him is to have a happy, healthy and successful life.


    Quote Originally Posted by scarletl View Post
    I'm very pleased that I created this thread because I have now realised what the self damage was in my life and it turns out it wasn't camming at all. It was my boyfriend all along.

    Tonight I found out that my boyfriend has taken his ex girlfriend abroad on holiday. Yup...that's right.

    This is a man who has been in my life for about 6 years and we was together 6 years ago for around 2-3 years, we broke up and he met someone else and I went off with a few guys. All along he hurt me and hid the fact that he was with this girl, because he wanted to keep me hanging on still. He finally admitted to being with her.
    He made me lose so much weight I hit 6 stone in weight, developed a multitude of mental problems and didnt leave my house for a year and was suicidal.

    Finally last November I built myself up to a real good place and I found camming (previous to this I was a domme on and off but not via camming) so I decided to start my journey as a NUDE cam girl. He got wind of this and funny enough come back into my life 2 months later proclaiming his love for me and asking for us to get back together and told me he dumped the other girl.

    I stupidly believed him (he was very convincing) he sat in front of my eyes and proved that by texting her and telling her he has now met someone else. He did not like me camming and drummed it into my head how much I was degrading myself and how I made him feel insecure. Yet all along his ex kept propping up here and there at occasions and he fed me shit and covered the lies. It come to the point where I had my friend come tell me this girl is still calling him her boyfriend and told me and this happened 4 weeks ago and he avoided me, his girlfriend for 4 weeks....

    then.....this is where it becomes interesting. He brought his sorry ass round to my house on Thursday to tell me that we should have a 2 week break because my camming is a bit too much for him and all the arguments that have happened we need to let the dust settle, and that he doesnt want to hurt me. So he suggested to not speak or see eachother for two weeks (I INSTANTLY thought and said to him, are you going on holiday because this seems weird, he denied)

    So...me being a clever little soul decided tonight to call her phone....and wallah an abroad ring tone and his phone is off.
    His gone on holiday with his ex girlfriend and I didnt even know. He left me feeling GUILTY and gutted of losing him because of the 2 week break.

    Better yet.....he fucked me the day he come to tell me this knowing he was swanning off on holiday with her.

    Little does he know I stopped my contraception months ago. Now to plot my revenge in a very clever way.


  43. #74
    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by scarletl View Post
    Now to plot my revenge in a very clever way.
    If you really want to get to him....leave him in your rear-view mirror, make a shit-load of money on cam, live out a great life with the money you've made and never, ever look back.

    Any time you waste thinking about getting back at his useless ass is time you could of put into building an awesome life without him in it.

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  45. #75
    Veteran Member innocentindian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you feel camming is self damaging?

    I think a lot of it has to do with your mentality in regards to camming (and working for yourself)

    It sounds really cheesy, but before camming my self-confidence was rock-bottom. I always felt ugly and uninteresting, never had relationships outside of close friendships, always on the wrong side of a crush. But when I started camming, I started to take care of how I looked - my makeup was heavy at first, but I soon started embracing more minimal/natural looking makeup, I always straightened my hair but then started to leave it naturally curly after a while. And guys liked it! I started taking my 'hustle' in my cam room into my real life, in terms of confidence - that yes, I am funny and interesting and worth talking to. And I honestly feel that I'm a more complete, confident, and happy version of myself than before I discovered camming.

    In terms of sexuality, I don't think I can say my perception of sex has changed. I was always very very kinky before camming - I used to flash people on Chatroulette, call random numbers for phone sex to get myself off and cyber with random guys on the internet. (Like I said, I always felt ugly/unconfident, so I anytime I could hide myself behind a screen or phone, I really went at it!) I had kinky fetishes, and once I discovered camming I understood other fetishes as well, and realized exactly what I enjoyed and didn't enjoy. I keep 'cam sex' different from 'real life sex' - yeah, I do enjoy certain customers interactions and do get off, but mostly I treat it like masturbation - which is obviously very different from being in a physical, intimate relationship with another person.

    And in terms of human depravity or knowing guys just want to get their nuts off - that's fine too! Because I was like that before, with my frequent cybering and phone calls, it wasn't who I was, it was just who I was when I was horny and online And I guess that's how I see most of my customers - so my idea or perception of men in general hasn't gotten worse or anything since camming either, if that makes sense

    I guess you can phrase it with anything - there's relationships that make people self-destructive, vanilla 9-5 jobs that make people self-damaging, but there's also people who don't get damaged from those things. I think it all depends on you as a person and your attitude that determines whether or not camming affects you positively or negatively (or both!)

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