God no! That would be hell. I'm deffo not down with baby trapping. I'm sure he would love that knowing moving on would be hard and restricting for me.



God no! That would be hell. I'm deffo not down with baby trapping. I'm sure he would love that knowing moving on would be hard and restricting for me.





I'm with the other ladies who've said the best revenge is truly just living well. Trust me on this one--my ex-boyfriend cheated on me at least three times (all of which I found out about in the last month of our two year relationship). His current girlfriend is a nice girl and I wish him well because we didn't work and that's all fine, but I also (being human and shallow when the occasion allows) take great pleasure in knowing that even his friends agree she's pretty unattractive and they're a very awkward couple. Kiss him goodbye, laugh at his mistakes/failings periodically if it somehow makes you feel better, and get on with your life.
Now, that said, I did get 'revenge' on my cheating ex. The girls he was screwing on the side weren't aware he was taken and were pretty upset that he'd played them too. So, just possibly, we all got together for a 'girl's night' at the same time I dumped his ass, by which I mean that as I was dumping him, the girls 'showed up early' to see me and he was stuck in a room with all three girls he'd screwed over and seriously squirming. We didn't do anything to him except make him feel exponentially awful and awkward about his behavior. We all got some pretty impressive apology texts later that detailed how well played our 'revenge' was. And that was the end of the matter. I'm personally going to say that the best form of revenge is letting someone see how wrong they were in glaring day light--i.e., shoving them in a room with a bunch of irritated women and letting them sweat. Physical harm, blackmail, and shouting don't really teach them anything.
Why can't you just love yourself? You don't need someone to tell you you're good enough. You ARE good enough!
Had to put "are" in caps to get my point across.





That's awesome! I just recently read an article about several women (some guy was seeing them all at the same time) who got their revenge by confronting the scumbag all together. Haha. That's so awesome. We usually hear about women fighting each other, and then continuing to go back to the same loser. So it's nice to hear these stories about women putting their heads together instead.
Scarlet, I am so sorry to hear that your boyfriend has been lying to you.*hugs*
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Listen to me, I understand greatly how you feel, I had a man in my life for 3 yrs ... IN and OUT driving me insane for 3 yrs, telling me what I want to hear, blaming me for every lil thing that was wrong with the relationship, everything was ALWAYS my fault, he would punish me by disappearing and ignoring my phone calls all the while he would be taking up with other women. When he is down his luck my phone would ring and he would profess his love to me all over again. til he was back on his feet.. 3 YEARS of this HELL!.. I trashed my cam career, I became an alcoholic, got into voodoo and tried to commit suicide. LISTEN TO ME!.. He broke my shoulder for me to finally get it!.. I walked away that day and NEVER looked back.. I cut off all CONTACT..no more boohooing over such a fucking loser who tried to destroy my life.. Still I am very upset and the road is hard to put my life back together again.. it's been yet another almost 3 yrs since that happened and I am still NOT whole and wonder if I ever will be. CUT OFF ALL CONTACT!.. you are only hurting yourself NOT him or anyone else. Do not wish for him ever again. He came into your life to teach you to be strong and stand on your own 2 feet, that is all.





^^ That's all they are. Teacher, who mold you and make you strong, and you might break in the mean time but you will rise up and become wiser, stronger and smarter.. I actually admire the hand he played in my life... There are things I still need to shed from that past. But he catapulted me further into my dreams.. without going into details that don't matter...lol



Camming and sex work in general have not been inherently damaging for me (as in the actual participation in itself, not just the preliminary interactions) because of done two things. Initially, I completely detached myself from what I was doing and treated it as an "alter" life. As of late, I've just owned it. I'm not sure how to put that into better words, but I never felt particularly felt a lack of self worth or self esteem on the basis of just camming/sex work.
However, I find that the interactions with people can be particularly damaging. It's hard to have people treat you in a manner that's respectful in this business because they automatically assume negative things about you. Slut, whore, etc don't hurt on their own, but the intent of worthlessness and pity and pathetic-ness attributed to them get very emotionally draining very quickly. Factor in racism and queerphobia (use interchangeable with homo/bi/transphobias) which is encountered outside of the industry and its continuation in your day-to-day life, it's VERY very emotionally taxing.
So... Yes and no. Owning my sexuality detracts from the act of fucking myself or any such things from being self-damaging, but having to deal with fuckheads before getting down to the profit is like the bane of my existence at this point.





Oh my holy fucking God. Please tell me you are not serious???
Because to me it sounds like you are "plotting your revenge" with a future possible INNOCENT CHILD???
Please tell me that is not what I just read? Because as a mother of 4 and a step mother to 1.... I'm going to have to exit this thread...
EDIT: I just finished reading other posts... you say that is not what you mean.... but what could you possibly mean by what you just said??? Because it sounds pretty clear to me.....? I apologize if I'm wrong..........
xoxo ~ Sarah






I would also like to point out that last night I wrote that in an absoloute emotional mess of tears. I wasn't thinking of what I was saying or how it may have come across.





Thank you for clarifying...I understand you were very upset, I'm happy to hear that you were just not thinking clearly.
You need to ditch this guy asap. You deserve so much better!!!
xoxo ~ Sarah





You should edit that part of your post then, because what you posted sounded really bad. I (and others) actually thought you were talking about trying to trap him with a pregnancy, and I was thinking to myself "Oh, God, no...please don't be one of those girls..." I'm relieved to know that's not what you were thinking.
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Well, mouthsoaping is a fetish for me, so I suppose that would just bring me pleasure. I also enjoy a nice bath from a man. Maybe one day you'll let a man do that for you too. And then give him a thank-you blow job because you want to make him feel good, because men deserve to feel good too.
If I need a bath, you need to realize that healthy individuals who choose to dominate others do it with kindness and caring. Have you ever dommed a guy IRL? Would you consider holding a guy and giving him aftercare? Having a slave boy, and meeting his needs too in a long-term relationship?
I'm sorry, but you are so sexist it is not even funny. Make statements about society, about statistics, about facts. Don't take your insecurities out on individuals. If men were so awful, all women would feel the same as you do. But most women do not.
"Do you do tech support in exclusive?"
Don't call me BB...I'm not the prime minister of Israel!




Yes and no. When I was a home based cammer, my anxiety and depression grew out of control. There was no work/life balance. For the first year or so (honey moon phase) I cammed around the clock on several sites spreading myself way too thin. Neglecting things most important to me. After while, I took a rest and have myself set days off, which was difficult because grew addicted to the hustle. I was also obsessed with marketing myself. It paid off but would I ever work like this again? No.
I am not a lazy person but I grew tired of not smelling the roses. I moved a few times and could not cam as often due to working around others. I took a hit with the finances but I had to do what u had to do. A lot of my fans got mad to as I was not as accessible, but they also had unrealistic expectations. Not 100% their fault as I once dropped everything to do shows... But it what it is and life happens.
In the past few years I took long breaks to return to the normal work force... Had it's pros and con's. I did become less social camming so being forced to interact with real people for tips was my personal version of hell. I fit in and made work friends but add I told my sis, I wouldn't be inviting said friends over for dinner after work Lol. During this time I discovered a can studio here and started working there as well. It has more pros then con's imo. It is especially nice to be around like minded women who understand. It allows me to be social among my own mind. There is also a more routine schedule but that is something all of us seem to struggle with so I appreciate that work is work and home is home nowadays. One of the con's is I can on one site but I always going I make the most money sticking with one side and promoting myself on it. I do have a hard time marketing myself nowadays.....cause the last thing wasn't too do is get on a computer at home. So I work 4 days at the studio and have 3 days off...one of those days of will be my marketing and content creating day. I do still take work home with me but I have more balance and it makes all the difference.
The side effects that effects though my depression and anxiety will always be a force in my life include my sex life has taken a downward spiral. I used to be this sexual being with different partners. Now I want nothing to do with it. This could also be because I have been with the same man for a long time now and it had gone a little stale but sec just doesn't excite me like it used to.




Sorry for all of the typos. Fucking auto correct. Can=cam




I'm new to camming (going on my second week), and this thread has been really eye opening to me. Personally, for me, the day job that I am in now (and getting ready to quit) is the self damaging out of the two. If anything, camming has made my self awareness, image, confidence all go up. My day job is shit. It's constant stress, underpaid bullshit. You do a great job once and they expect you to do everything, all the time, make no money and get absolutely NO recognition. It's having a negative effect on my relationship with my boyfriend, my sleep, etc. Camming has been liberating, as well as an immense relief knowing that I can make MORE than my shit job, and be in charge of my own life. I don't do anything I don't want to do in my room, and I think as long as I stick to my boundaries, my outlook on camming will stay positive.![]()
Reading others responses makes me curious as to what my answer will be a year or two from now.





^^ This. I cannot tell you how excited I am to hand in my resignation at my vanilla job. Its the cause of all my stress and crazy long hours. I always have more fun camming. Camming itself has never made me sad, but on the slow days or days when money is scarce I get frustrated. With my vanilla job though, its boring, soul sucking work.


As far as self damaging goes, I'm 49, been a stripper and an escort in my past. I have already been damaged and drugged out and now KNOW who I am and what I do and KNOW that this is just acting, nothing more. I am confident and keep this separate. I have FUN doing this and when I don't and they start to piss me off, or my ATTITUDE starts sucking, I log the fuck off.
If this is ruining your self image and find yourself changing into someone you don't want to be, find something else to do. It's just not worth it.
Peace..Fiona.





I think sometimes I forget how it was to have a real job.. haven't had one in 12 yrs.. so I guess I am spoiled to do what I want.. but life is still EXTREMELY stressful when i am a single mom and still doing cam 7 days a week.. and TBH .. if i wanted to barely get by?? I would work less.. but you are only young once.. and this bitch is almost 42 so i work every available day.. I am scared out of my mind if i don't... doom comes closer and closer... i think they would call this a mid- life crisis?? luckily i haven't had any impending serious illness that would keep me sidelined for long periods of time.. NOT YET anyways.. but everyday i get older that chance is ever so higher in my mind.. so i work work work.. and try to secure my future.. JUST IN CASE.. because things happen.. and it doesn't matter who when or why it happens.. you must be prepared for it.










^^ yes that would be irresponsible of you to quit your day job unless you could sustain yourself.. for me I was on unemployment and receiving child support checks when I started.. and when my unemployment started to run out I was willing to work 100+ hours a week to make it work, which I did.. for a year!...lol.. long time ago.. so I never had a job since.. thought of getting a temp job once in awhile and then I am like nah fuck it!... so yea make sure you got your bills covered before you decide to give up your security...





AgreedI am only quitting my vanilla job because I work long hours for pennies. I am also going to be doing a law degree via correspondence, so in that way I will make sure that my future is secured. I love camming but I don't plan on doing it forever, just because I fear for what the industry will look like 10 years from now if its already on the decline right now.




I appreciate all of your responsesI would never be irresponsible enough to not make sure I was in a financially stable position to do this. My bills are covered, and my S.O has a very well paying job. Quitting my day job where I'm underpaid is more about the stress and how it's ruining my personal relationships (Seriously, no job is worth my mental health, and is more important than my relationships)
by reading all these threads i realised severa things about myself:
a) camming suits to me, because i love meeting people, chat with them, and i can make people actually PAY FOR CHAT with me.
b) but the pressure i am into bcs i am a studio model and deal with high weekly limits and if i take day off i get call, and always for taking day off i need have good excuse just making me go crazy
c) i hate working in studio. i would love do that from home, when i want, how i want. studio always seeks for me breaking rules. and i hate that. i know, i could work from home, but they take 50% of my salary, so at least i would make them some expensies with elecricity and warm and space.
d) 5 weeks when i cammed on my own were the best weeks on cam ive ever had! i was able say NO to cuties i didnt want to be with. i was able to stream in the middle on the night or when i feel i want to stream. it didnt make me exosted , bcs i was able take rest after school!
e) sad i didnt find thins thread on my trial week, when i didnt have agreement with studio.....
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