Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 27

Thread: meeting bf in club vs real life

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Baltimore
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 9 Times in 4 Posts

    Duh meeting bf in club vs real life

    A little nervous to be trying this out, but here goes.

    I met a guy at work who seemed like the real deal. I agreed to go out with him, and after a few dates, he turned into a real creep. It all started out so well. He was a real smooth talker on phone and even took me out to lunch for a first date at a hot spot in my city. Turns out he was hiding his wife and kids from me. Look, the guy is a freakin doctor, you'd think he would be smart and normal enough. It's very frustrating to me. Is this the usual way that things go in the biz? I'm relatively new to this, but it seems like, in general, the guys who come out are not the kind that most people would want to date in any kind of serious way. I'm starting to feel that I should look for my personal happiness elsewhere.

  2. #2
    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2009
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,542
    Thanks
    1,043
    Thanked 3,893 Times in 1,568 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Yes, if you use an SC as a dating website you're probably going to be dissapointed.

    If you want to have fun with guys, go to a bar. When you're at the club you're working.


  3. #3
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Hill country.
    Posts
    2,926
    Thanks
    1,653
    Thanked 1,896 Times in 955 Posts
    My Mood
    Stressed

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    ^What Audrey said.


    I met my man at a concert.





  4. #4
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    odds are that the 'relationship' he was seeking was along the lines of Sugar Daddy / Sugar Baby

  5. #5
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Well on the plus side you didn't think he was your "soul mate"
    I can't really talk because I met mine ITC. Yes it can happen but it's like a solar eclipse. Gotta be present at just the right moment to catch it.
    Take it as a lesson learned.
    Just read this as a guide for how NOT to conduct your personal life ITC. Very useful guide for everyone.https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...ight=soul+mate
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  6. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to tempest666 For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    Veteran Member cairalis's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    367
    Thanks
    251
    Thanked 362 Times in 126 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Quote Originally Posted by newbie0667 View Post
    Is this the usual way that things go in the biz?
    Quote Originally Posted by newbie0667 View Post
    I'm starting to feel that I should look for my personal happiness elsewhere.
    Yes and yes!

  8. #7
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Baltimore
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 9 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Well on the plus side you didn't think he was your "soul mate"
    I can't really talk because I met mine ITC. Yes it can happen but it's like a solar eclipse. Gotta be present at just the right moment to catch it.
    Take it as a lesson learned.
    Just read this as a guide for how NOT to conduct your personal life ITC. Very useful guide for everyone.

    Thank you Tempest, but have to give you more than just a thank you. I'm based out of Boston now, but this all went down in "Filthadelphia". I have to say I'm not so fond of that city.

  9. #8
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    I've noticed doctors and pilots are pretty farking scandalous in the cheating/relationship drama department.

    I've had nice dating relationships with guys I met at work but this was when I was young and wild- I didn't have the mind-frame of taking them seriously long term.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SnuffleUffleGrass For This Useful Post:


  11. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    877
    Thanks
    173
    Thanked 704 Times in 291 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    I don't want to be harsh but I don't understand how you can ever think it would be a good idea to try and find a boyfriend while working in a strip club. You are there to work, earn money and pay your bills, not "find personal happiness".

  12. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to newb2 For This Useful Post:


  13. #10
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    3,291
    Thanks
    6,920
    Thanked 5,854 Times in 2,242 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Also, considering a lot of the customers in SCs are sm degree of creep, psycho or horndog, or all of the above, I'd be a little more concerned w/ my personal safety than trying to enrich my love life. Customers can lay on the bs just as heavily as dancers do. You will not last long in this business if you eat up every good thing a customer tells you.

  14. #11
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Omicron Persei 8
    Posts
    4,508
    Thanks
    12,529
    Thanked 13,934 Times in 3,720 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Yeah the phrase "looking for personal happiness" really bothers me. That is a dangerous attitude to have in a work environment where you need to constantly be on your toes. 99% of the guys you meet in there are NOT someone you want to date outside of the club; not always for malicious reasons, but still. The ones that you wouldn't date for more nefarious reasons, can be some very, very creepy and bad situations in the making. You even admit he was a smooth talker; why was that not a red flag? That's a red flag in the regular dating world even.

    The club is for work and money, and honestly it's girls who go out on dates with customers and hang out ITC for free that encourage the custies to keep asking the rest of us on dates/wasting our time/not spending. If you aren't there to make money, go the fuck home.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

  15. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Selina M For This Useful Post:


  16. #12
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Agree with everyone. DON'T USE THE CLUB AS A DATING SITE. Not only will you be disappointed (and not make money)you will piss off the other dancers who are there to make money. When I danced I despised the bitches who were there to meet guys. Also, like mentioned most of the guys who you will meet are not potential mates. They are usually there just for the entertainment (many of them aren't there for sex or dating), are there to pick up dancers (smart dancers avoid them)or are losers. Yes it does happen where a customer and a dancer connect but not as often as one would think.

  17. #13
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    We're sex objects they want to play with and that's it. They're human ATMs and that SHOULD ONLY be it. Don't shit where you eat. You won't find a normal respectable man in a SC anyway.

  18. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Vyanka For This Useful Post:


  19. #14
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Quote Originally Posted by newbie0667 View Post
    Thank you Tempest, but have to give you more than just a thank you. I'm based out of Boston now, but this all went down in "Filthadelphia". I have to say I'm not so fond of that city.
    It's not the city itself. It's the SC environment. Doesn't matter where it's located.

  20. #15
    Veteran Member azaleanola's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    720
    Thanks
    865
    Thanked 654 Times in 292 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    OP, were you planning on dating this guy for business or for pleasure? It's not really clear from your post, and I don't want to assume the worst.

  21. #16
    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,911
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked 6,402 Times in 1,573 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Honestly I've casually dated a couple of relatively normal guys that I met ITC but nothing that ever worked out. They usually either couldn't get past seeing me as a "stripper" or I couldn't get past seeing them as a "customer" OR they were a lot of fun ITC and really boring OTC. Try online dating..That's how I met my husband. It's like online shopping for a boyfriend!

  22. #17
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    Honestly I've casually dated a couple of relatively normal guys that I met ITC but nothing that ever worked out. They usually either couldn't get past seeing me as a "stripper" or I couldn't get past seeing them as a "customer" OR they were a lot of fun ITC and really boring OTC. Try online dating..That's how I met my husband. It's like online shopping for a boyfriend!
    The problem with that is there are a lot of freaks online as well. I did online and mostly came in contact with freaks.

  23. #18
    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,911
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked 6,402 Times in 1,573 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    The problem with that is there are a lot of freaks online as well. I did online and mostly came in contact with freaks.
    Eeek! Well I admit my husband was the only one I talked to online and then met in person...and I messaged him first. I didn't even mess around with guys who messaged me first because they were mostly looking for sex or were weirdos. haha

  24. #19
    Veteran Member ~*SwanPrincess*~'s Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    575
    Thanks
    2,471
    Thanked 1,062 Times in 389 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    It's just not a good idea in general. Yeah, there are exceptions, but chances are all it will be is drama and wasted time. Some guys think they're cool with it, but give them a little time and chances are jealousy and control will come out.

  25. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ~*SwanPrincess*~ For This Useful Post:


  26. #20
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    If you're going to date one, either get a rich old fart with a terminal illness or a young pup you can train like mine. Anything in between is a PITA.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  27. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tempest666 For This Useful Post:


  28. #21
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    If you're going to date one, either get a rich old fart with a terminal illness
    Lmao. Haha

  29. #22
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks
    3,026
    Thanked 3,426 Times in 1,229 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    IMO, any guy who goes lookin' for love in a strip club is actually looking for sex and drama. There are no fairy tales that start out with the beautiful princess hiding from her evil stepmother by working at a topless club and end with the hero and her living happily ever after, y'know? Relationships with strippers are invariably portrayed in film and music as things that are doomed from the start and filled with crazy sex and bad decisions. I think most people are dumb enough to believe everything they see and hear from popular entertainment, so unless someone is above and beyond the most amazing wo/man you've ever met and you so happen to meet them in the club, I would distrust any customer who tries to pursue a relationship with you.

    Also, there's a great chance this guy realized you were new. As someone who changed clubs a lot and pretended to be completely new to the business often, wayyyy more guys try to "date" the new-new girls than the ones who say they're not new.

  30. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to tuesdaymarie For This Useful Post:


  31. #23
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    491
    Thanks
    2,517
    Thanked 1,320 Times in 344 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    I would never date a man who likes to frequent strip clubs because I know the types of guys who try to pick up strippers are PUA's, pimps, sugar daddies, looking for a prostitute, or looking for a dumb girl to take advantage of. Never met anyone in the strip club that I would date, never ever, and I never will. I met my boyfriend through mutual friends at a bar I like to go to and the only time he has ever been into a strip club is when I ask him to come play pool with me when it's slow.

    You are a stripper, a fantasy character. That is your job. Anyone who meets you at the strip club meets your character, not you. Automatic deal breaker. You are working, they are there to worship the ground you walk on in the form of cold, hard cash and that is the extent of the relationship.

  32. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to NightGoddess For This Useful Post:


  33. #24
    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Nudie-Land
    Posts
    7,219
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4,151 Times in 1,462 Posts
    My Mood
    Sneaky

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Quote Originally Posted by newbie0667 View Post
    A little nervous to be trying this out, but here goes.

    I met a guy at work who seemed like the real deal. I agreed to go out with him, and after a few dates, he turned into a real creep. It all started out so well. He was a real smooth talker on phone and even took me out to lunch for a first date at a hot spot in my city. Turns out he was hiding his wife and kids from me. Look, the guy is a freakin doctor, you'd think he would be smart and normal enough. It's very frustrating to me. Is this the usual way that things go in the biz? I'm relatively new to this, but it seems like, in general, the guys who come out are not the kind that most people would want to date in any kind of serious way. I'm starting to feel that I should look for my personal happiness elsewhere.

    Uhm. Don't date customers. You go to work to make money, NOT to make boyfriends.

    In this "biz" customers will ask to date you and blow a whole lot of smoke about everything from paying your rent to rescuing your special booty from the seediness of the industry. They'll offer you undying love, romance, gifts, trips on their (existent/nonexistent) yacht, they'll offer to pay your bills, and they'll offer to sweep you off of your feet. Translate all that to: They want a hot chick on their d*ck.

    Our job is to flirt and show them a fun time for their MONEY.

    Who cares if they have a wife. Who cares if they're a doctor... did he PAY you for your dances/room/time? That's the only important question. Leave it at that.

    Be romantic and flirtatious in club... and put a period at the end of the sentence when the lights come up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

  34. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sophia_Starina For This Useful Post:


  35. #25
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: meeting bf in club vs real life

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    Eeek! Well I admit my husband was the only one I talked to online and then met in person...and I messaged him first. I didn't even mess around with guys who messaged me first because they were mostly looking for sex or were weirdos. haha
    I met some normal guys luckily but no sparks. The men who messaged me actually reminded me of customers I've had which was creepy.

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    If you're going to date one, either get a rich old fart with a terminal illness or a young pup you can train like mine. Anything in between is a PITA.
    Better yet, get both. Have the wealthy geezer with no other independents (important because you don't want to fight for his money)and the young stud on the side. A win-win.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Real Life vs Stripper Life?? How do YOU deal with handling both?
    By yasminestarr in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-05-2012, 08:11 AM
  2. When meeting people in the "real world"... Do you tell them your profession?
    By Kaylee84 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04-05-2012, 03:04 PM
  3. Do you lie to staff and co-workers of your real life outside the club?
    By serenityx in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-07-2010, 12:47 PM
  4. Meeting guys OTC -- in Second Life
    By Danielle_4370 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-29-2007, 10:12 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •