This might be a bit of a story, so sorry in advance, but any and all advice is welcome! I live with them right now, by the way. Transferring schools and saving for a car/apartment.
So, I've been struggling with feeling a huge disconnect from my parents. It's at a point where I don't think I'd really care if I spoke to them again...yeah, adjusting would be weird, but once I did, I think I could live quite happily without them. Here's why: my dad's anorexia and mom's binge eating disorder have always been huge problems for my bulimia. Food and eating disorders are so bad in my family that my therapists have been shocked I haven't been worse or had to go to a hospital.
My dad had a very rough childhood and so doesn't know how to connect to people. I knew he loved me, but he couldn't express it. He always tried to show love in material things which just isn't the same as an emotional connection. He's been trying to get better in his own therapy. It was sort of working. I've never really felt close to him though.
My mom has an endless list of issues that she manipulates to pin on me. Sure, I know I have problems too (and a lot of them), but it's at the point where my defense mechanism is to agree with whatever she claims I've done wrong (even if it isn't the truth) and to take all the blame in every issue. I assure her everything is my fault and that I'm the messed up one. I've tried talking to her, but my therapist and I finally agreed it's just better if I don't. She's really angry that I shut her out more now.
Anyhoo, I don't think they know I strip (they might now, though if they decided to dig through my stuff). We got into a fight yesterday about how disconnected I feel, and tonight my dad found some alcohol in the truck I'm borrowing until I buy my own car. I totally forgot it was in the truck, and it was there from drinking with a friend outside his place a few weeks before. He also found rubbing alcohol which must have fallen out of my purse. I keep it to clean my bum after work and dancing on so many laps. My parents are convinced I'm an alcoholic now. My mom said "I thought after being assaulted you'd be smarter than this" (she played the rape card on me. I happened to be drunk that night two years ago). My mom said "I'm putting this rubbing alcohol in the cabinet where I can see it. You're dad and I were in the ER. We know alcoholics drink it. I know I can't trust you just by looking at you." Yes, she actually said that last part. She doesn't trust me with anything. I clean the house weekly in front of her, and almost every week she gets angry saying I'm not cleaning the house. It's absurd. I didn't fight their thoughts that I'm an alcoholic. There's no point. My mom has believed strangers over me in the past for much smaller issues. I'm tired and really don't care about a connection with them because it's just not worth it anymore.
My question is: knowing this, how do I present I'm moving out the day after tomorrow? I have a friend with a spare room he'll let me rent for a month or two while I save. Also, what do I do about buying a car? I'm about $3-4,000 short of the one I want, and I keep most of my earnings in cash, so I doubt I'll be able to get a loan from my bank unless there's something I don't know. What do I do about this? I really don't want to rely on my friend/cabs to get absolutely everywhere because I do a lot during the day...
Thank you so much, everyone.



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