So for the last 4 months I quit stripping and began escorting, I took a break to get my BA and returned this week... and I absolutely fucking hate it. I don't know what's changed, but it makes me feel ill to have my clients touch me, and I'm staring at the clock the whole time and flinching, and I can tell not only am I heading toward having a meltdown if I keep doing something I don't want to do, but my business is going to dissipate anyway as my clients can sense it and are probably steps away from trashing me online anyway. I just don't want to do this anymore. I loved escorting before I took my break, I don't know why I've done a 180-- the first couple days were bad and I thought I was just nervous, but the only time I felt slightly comfortable was with my best regular, who I normally have a great time with. So I feel like something has just changed in me.
I want to go back to dancing, but it is not the same in this country and I was SO stressed before I turned to escorting making enough money to get by with the absolutely lubricous living expenses of living in London, that the thought of returning purely to dancing, with the unreliable income and up and downs... and working in clubs that I don't particularly like... well, it doesn't make me feel much better, the main reason I kept with escorting is the income is 100% reliable and consistent. When I worked it America yes there bad nights, but it all usually averaged out in the end of the week, whereas I don't feel that way in London. I know I moved here at not the best time and that this season is supposed to be better, but I just don't want to go back to all that stress.
But I also don't want to quit, so I'm thinking my best option is to find some kind of part time job so that I at least have some reliable income coming in every week and also to begin to have more of a connection to the non-sex worker world besides my boyfriend. But I feel like I have no idea what I want to do? Everything on my CV is useless as it's all specialized internships geared to a field I have ZERO desire to work in, and which is not lucrative anyway as it's in entertainment. I was thinking I would like to start looking for a part time nanny job, but I have no experience in that industry and it seems like absolutely everyone wants experienced nannies. For those of you who work part time outside of stripping, what do you do? And how did you find a job with a useless CV basically just filled with sex-worker jobs? I have a BA from a top 25 university, but my CV seriously sucks.




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