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Thread: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

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    Veteran Member SavannahLynnn's Avatar
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    Default Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    I don't want to get too much into detail but basically my fiance moved out and took everything leaving my daughter and I with a balance of two months rent. I'm guessing the money I gave him for rent and bills, he used to get into his new place. Now I have a vanilla job lined up, and a roommate. But as of now I have no money to catch up on bills. He was the ONLY family I had so I have nowhere else to turn to.
    All I'm asking is please share my link:

    http://gofundme.com/fqjaq0


    "We must try not to sink beneath out anguish, but battle on." - Albus Dumbledore


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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    There was a thread started a couple days ago where sm1 was asking how to handle being late w/ her rent.

    I have had times in the past where I have been late myself w/ rent, so speaking from experience: ring your landlord/leasing office/whoever first thing tomor morning & tell them what happened. If they know your fiancé had been there up to this point, that should certainly help your case. Point is, it's better to get ahead of the problem & let them know upfront instead of having them hunt you down.

    The eviction process takes time, it doesn't happen overnite -- there are procedures in place, which make the whole thing a time-consuming & slightly-pricey pain in the ass for both yourself & the landlord -- but use the time you will have while they are getting that process rolling (if they refuse to work w/ you) to cam or dance. If the fiancé's name was also on the paperwork, they may be able to go after him for sm of the balance if he broke the lease.

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    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by SavannahLynnn View Post
    I'm guessing the money I gave him for rent and bills, he used to get into his new place.[/URL]
    Wait, what?! This is too much! Besides doing what Aniela said, you need to press charges on that man and possibly sue him!


    Also, is your daughter also his daughter? If not, has your fiancee acted like a paternal figure more than the biological father?





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    Veteran Member SavannahLynnn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    Wait, what?! This is too much! Besides doing what Aniela said, you need to press charges on that man and possibly sue him!


    Also, is your daughter also his daughter? If not, has your fiancee acted like a paternal figure more than the biological father?
    My daughter is not his daughter but he has been the only other father figure she's known. He's been there for her since she was 2.
    I think suing would take more time than it's worth. His family has always disliked me and they'd be willing to pay top dollar for lawyers.


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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    ^I doubt it, you'd be taking him to small claims court, no lawyers. I can't see how it wouldn't be worth it if you're in as desperate a place as it seems? Even if you just threaten him with court and a police report, he'll probably cough up something to make it go away?

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    God/dess Issabelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Small claims court is the way to go. It will be state dependent, but the lawsuit generally needs to be for amounts less than $5000 where I'm at. Small claims court does not allow lawyers in my state either--it's just a judge who rules based on evidence presented by both parties. I would strongly recommend that.

    Secondly, go speak to your landlord. If he was on the lease, the landlord actually has to sue both of you for late rent in an eviction in many states, which works strongly in your favor if he just up and bailed. Eviction takes time as well, so that means you'll have some time.

    Third, did he take all your belongings as well? As in, joint belongings like furniture, appliances, and cash? Call the police!!! That's theft. The police getting involved helps you out a lot if you take it to small claims court or have to deal with the landlord. It also puts him on the hook.

    Hopefully one or all of these will help you out. <3 *hugs*


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    Veteran Member SavannahLynnn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    ^I doubt it, you'd be taking him to small claims court, no lawyers. I can't see how it wouldn't be worth it if you're in as desperate a place as it seems? Even if you just threaten him with court and a police report, he'll probably cough up something to make it go away?
    I don't think he'll pay anything.

    Quote Originally Posted by Issabelle View Post
    Small claims court is the way to go. It will be state dependent, but the lawsuit generally needs to be for amounts less than $5000 where I'm at. Small claims court does not allow lawyers in my state either--it's just a judge who rules based on evidence presented by both parties. I would strongly recommend that.

    Secondly, go speak to your landlord. If he was on the lease, the landlord actually has to sue both of you for late rent in an eviction in many states, which works strongly in your favor if he just up and bailed. Eviction takes time as well, so that means you'll have some time.

    Third, did he take all your belongings as well? As in, joint belongings like furniture, appliances, and cash? Call the police!!! That's theft. The police getting involved helps you out a lot if you take it to small claims court or have to deal with the landlord. It also puts him on the hook.

    Hopefully one or all of these will help you out. <3 *hugs*
    Spoke to someone from the office today and they said they'd get back to me.
    He took the tv and playstation that were his, all his clothes, an rc helicopter I bought him as a gift, but then took my cam lights he bought me and my bedding he bought as a gift.
    He's been emailing me sending me mixed signals but I know it's over because he's never moved out before.


    "We must try not to sink beneath out anguish, but battle on." - Albus Dumbledore


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    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Him taking your camming lights is basically robbing you of your livehood: you need the cams to make money! He needs to be in jail soon.


    Second, did something happen between you and him that got him to react like that?





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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    This is so sad. When I kicked my bf out all he could take was his play station lol

    So he didn't really take much? You have furniture? Are you not on the lease? How did you not know the rent was not paid for two months?
    There's always so much more to these stories.

    Well, good luck anyway!

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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Is your fiance's name on the lease? If he was living there, he should be responsible for at least half of the rent balance owed from the time he was living there.

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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Why don't you head to a strip club and work for a couple weeks to get the rent money? I also would go to small claims court.

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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by SavannahLynnn View Post
    I don't think he'll pay anything.


    e.
    What do you have to lose by trying?

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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    Him taking your camming lights is basically robbing you of your livehood: you need the cams to make money! He needs to be in jail soon.


    Second, did something happen between you and him that got him to react like that?
    Yes, we were kind of passive-aggressive arguing but were still getting along. It's like he changed his feelings in a matter of days. I feel it's my fault for being stubborn and not apologizing. I just kept pushing him away.
    I'm trying to hold it together for when my daughter comes back from her dad's today but I'm a mess. I haven't been able to eat or sleep more than an hour at a time.
    I'm afraid we'll be homeless soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    This is so sad. When I kicked my bf out all he could take was his play station lol

    So he didn't really take much? You have furniture? Are you not on the lease? How did you not know the rent was not paid for two months?
    There's always so much more to these stories.

    Well, good luck anyway!
    We were both on the lease. I know it wasn't paid because he told me it wasn't. I have my couch and he left the dining room table for now.


    "We must try not to sink beneath out anguish, but battle on." - Albus Dumbledore


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    Veteran Member SavannahLynnn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    Why don't you head to a strip club and work for a couple weeks to get the rent money? I also would go to small claims court.
    We don't have any near by and I don't have a car.
    He used his mom's car to get us around.. now I don't know how I'm going to do laundry or get to the grocery store.


    "We must try not to sink beneath out anguish, but battle on." - Albus Dumbledore


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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Well, I sure hope you can work something out..I know to file a case (sm claims) it does cost..I pd 300.00 for some bs & it nvr even got heard
    Good luck sweetie, wish you the best.
    Idk if you tried or if this was suggested, can you get some type of gov't assistance? In my area, if you fill out an emergency needs form & have a child, (which you do) sometimes they give you some cash..
    There's also rent assistance thru Catholic Charities/Salv Army, but catch 22 you have to show means of paying it back..

    Also: Idk if you're in/near a city (or where you are) but there's focus groups, look on craiglist under etc, backpage too. You get pd cash to give an opinion on a product, idea, etc.
    I've done product demos, the one co. (can't think of) they paid in paypal by the end of the wk. Some do that some pay by check you may have to wait..
    How about conventions/trade shows? Sometimes they pay cash as well. Look under Event category on craig's.

    Sorry, I just saw about you not having a car..are there any bars you can work @ nearby?
    Trying to come up w/ideas here
    Last edited by whirlerz; 10-14-2014 at 10:08 AM.


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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Can you still cam? Any income is better than no income. Also if he is on the lease you could definitely do something to make him pay half of what you guys owe.

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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    Well, I sure hope you can work something out..I know to file a case (sm claims) it does cost..I pd 300.00 for some bs & it nvr even got heard
    ..





    Trying to come up w/ideas here
    Did you set it for a hearing?

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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    He does NOT love you or your daughter. He put you both in harms way of being homeless.

    Why didn't you make sure he paid the rent?

    Stop playing victim & get mad & get busy working to make money for a new place.

    There is always the bus or taxi.

    NEVER EVER be dependent upon a man to take care of you. You have the ability to work & make money. Make enough money to pay your bills & get a car.

    Those mixed emotions he is sending you. Are I'm horny & want to get laid, but will fake feeling guilty about leaving you without a place to live. Come on, NOW. Get real.

    Get to camming before the internet & electric get shut off. Bet, he didn't pay those either.

    Sue him, just to piss him off. He had absolutely no guilt no conscience in leaving you destitute. Obviously, he doesn't have the ability to love or care for another person other than himself.

    You need to be doing camming marathons. Cut off all communications with him until you see him in court.

    Sam


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    Veteran Member SavannahLynnn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post

    Sorry, I just saw about you not having a car..are there any bars you can work @ nearby?
    Trying to come up w/ideas here
    Actually I think there are bars nearby hiring. Guess it's my chance to work at one now since he never liked the idea of me working at one before.
    My daughter's dad actually works at one of them so maybe he could try and help me out. We get along pretty well and he's been understanding throughout this whole ordeal. Despite his girlfriend about to give birth and his mom getting cancer. They came to pick up my daughter when I got too emotional.


    Quote Originally Posted by 22lligm View Post
    Can you still cam? Any income is better than no income. Also if he is on the lease you could definitely do something to make him pay half of what you guys owe.

    Worth a try.
    I think I do still have two desk lamps and my neighbor brought over a lamp.
    Only thing is.... The internet didn't get paid. I was asking him about paying it right when this all happened, I still have money to pay it but I think I should hold onto it for now. I'm using a neighbor's wifi and the connection isn't ideal at all. Should I try or spend some money on the bill?

    I know when I cammed on a bad connection with bad placement I was able to make at least $100 a week.



    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    He does NOT love you or your daughter. He put you both in harms way of being homeless.

    Why didn't you make sure he paid the rent?

    Stop playing victim & get mad & get busy working to make money for a new place.

    There is always the bus or taxi.

    NEVER EVER be dependent upon a man to take care of you. You have the ability to work & make money. Make enough money to pay your bills & get a car.

    Those mixed emotions he is sending you. Are I'm horny & want to get laid, but will fake feeling guilty about leaving you without a place to live. Come on, NOW. Get real.

    Get to camming before the internet & electric get shut off. Bet, he didn't pay those either.

    Sue him, just to piss him off. He had absolutely no guilt no conscience in leaving you destitute. Obviously, he doesn't have the ability to love or care for another person other than himself.

    You need to be doing camming marathons. Cut off all communications with him until you see him in court.

    Sam
    I don't know. I usually give it to him to hold and when he gets his half I go pay it but he put some of it toward bills I think.
    (Stupid imo because.. why pay for electricity if you don't have a place to live)

    I haven't cammed since like May but I gotta do what needs to be done for my daughter. She doesn't deserve any of this. His mom came by to get his dog... and my daughter cried. I told her she had to give Roxy a big hug goodbye and his mother didn't say one word to my daughter. His mother who always worried, "if we broke up she wouldn't get to see my daughter anymore." The people that bought her birthday and christmas gifts and included her as one of their own. Now just because they're more concerned about taking sides they could care less. That hurts.
    Yeah he thought I was just going to take care of the dog until he found her a home or got the ok to bring her. I said it wasn't fair and I was going to take her to a shelter and HE threatened to SUE ME if I did! Some

    MAYBE I SHOULD take him to court. I'll qualify for a fee waiver. I thought I didn't want to do that to him because he's never been in trouble.. but maybe he needs to feel stressed.. feel what I'm feeling.
    Maybe I'll call his job and tell them he used a friend's urine to pass their drug screen.. and that he's dirty for marijuana. To me it's childish because I know he'd be screwed but he did it to me so why not?


    "We must try not to sink beneath out anguish, but battle on." - Albus Dumbledore


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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by SavannahLynnn View Post
    MAYBE I SHOULD take him to court. I'll qualify for a fee waiver. I thought I didn't want to do that to him because he's never been in trouble.. but maybe he needs to feel stressed.. feel what I'm feeling.
    Maybe I'll call his job and tell them he used a friend's urine to pass their drug screen.. and that he's dirty for marijuana. To me it's childish because I know he'd be screwed but he did it to me so why not?
    Grow a damn backbone & stop worrying abt the consequences to him when the consequences to you have resulted in you being in this situation. If a guy who's capable of doing this hasn't been in trouble b4, maybe it's bc he just hasn't been caught, or bc sm1 else didn't have the balls to see that he got punished.

    I would absolutely rat him out to his job abt the MJ, but one precaution: do you know what his savings are like? If he gets fired but is already broke, or close to broke, that may defeat the purpose of taking him to court since he can't have $$ taken from him that he doesn't have. If you decide not to tell his job, don't let it be bc you feel 'childish'. You need to stop feeling bad for that POS, he was happy enough to leave you in your current position.

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    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    I agree with Sam. I think you should stop laying out on the road playing victim (even though you might of been victimized) and get your ass back on cam. You can easily spread this link around via cam and your cam social networking. Posting a GoFund me link on here won't help you much. Set up a wish list with all the things you need such as detergent, food, some stuff your baby needs- speaking of, what about help for the baby from the father? She is his responsibility too, she needs food, clothes etc. On MFC and CB, tomorrow starts a new day of pay period- you would have 2 weeks to bust ass. It is doable. There is also pay pal, gift rocket or whatever else.

    You need to just forget him and move on. This move he did is unforgivable and when/if you get back with him, you're only setting yourself up..so I don't know how this mix signals thing comes to play because the bottom line is, he could fuck off.
    +

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    Veteran Member SavannahLynnn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Makes me curious as to why he and his son's mom REALLY split.

    I know he has to have something in the bank but it's more than a weeks worth of pay... so probably no more than $500. He never gets a tax return because it goes to back child support.
    Maybe the threat of ratting him out to his boss will get him to pay up.
    Or maybe I should just do it and be on my way.


    "We must try not to sink beneath out anguish, but battle on." - Albus Dumbledore


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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    And yeah, you can stop calling him Fiance now...he doesn't deserve that title.

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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    Quote Originally Posted by SavannahLynnn View Post
    MAYBE I SHOULD take him to court. I'll qualify for a fee waiver. I thought I didn't want to do that to him because he's never been in trouble.. but maybe he needs to feel stressed.. feel what I'm feeling.
    Maybe I'll call his job and tell them he used a friend's urine to pass their drug screen.. and that he's dirty for marijuana. To me it's childish because I know he'd be screwed but he did it to me so why not?
    I'm gonna be harsh here, sorry-- but you need to wake the hell up. You have a CHILD, who is about to be HOMELESS & HUNGRY, and you are more concerned about getting the man who put you and HER in this position in trouble?

    What's more important to you, your daughter or the loser who put her life in jeopardy? If it's really the latter... well, I don't know what to say to you.

    As everyone said, you need to start being more proactive and quit sitting around being emotional and playing the victim. Did you he fuck you over? Yeah, he did. But complaining about the situation and posting links for money online are not going to get your anywhere. You need to take control of the situation and show some strength and get working and fighting.

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    Default Re: Help! My fiance moved all his things out!

    You have all that it takes to make it.
    Work hard, believe in yourself.
    You learned a lesson the hard way.
    Don't call his work, you can be sued for defaming his name. Definitely sue him for the money you put towards rent & bills that he ran off with.

    Once you learned he always owed back child support you KNEW he was NOT a good person.

    Work at the bar, pay the internet bill. Aim for $50 or more a day, cam multiple sites at once. A few checks at $300 to $500 a week or more will put you back on your feet in less than a month.

    Forget about gofundme...

    Working your way out of this shows your daughter this is what you do when the chips are down. That there are positive ways to solve problems yourself.

    Good Luck,
    Sam

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