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Thread: Help! Confusing text interpretation

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    Default Help! Confusing text interpretation

    I've known this guy for almost three months. A while ago, he told me he 'loved' me. He started a conversation with me after he came over the other day, and was worried I was starting to think he was using me for sex.

    To cut a long story short, this is what he replied after I admitted that him telling me he loved me did, in fact, change some things in my life. What could it mean?

    "It's really hard for me to express any feelings for people, and saying I love you is like climbing Mt. Everest for me, but I guess it's just by saying it I'm trying to let you know I'm there for you whenever you need me, that I really like you and being around you, and that it's unconditional in this way that I can have these feelings for you and not want or expect anything in return. Even for you to feel the same way. I guess what I'm saying is don't let my feelings get to you."

    It sounds final to me, and also passive, especially the last part in which he basically says 'forget it, it's not even that important.' Please help, I'm confused and heartbroken
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    Seems like he's fishing for a reaction and gauging. Have you expressed your feelings for him back?

    There's a lot of ways to take this, as I too, have similar troubles with expressing my feelings.

    My advice is directly ask what does this mean.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    he sounds scared to me, nervous that you aren't going to reciprocate and telling you that he doesn't expect it upfront. i wouldn't take that as a bad thing, why can't you ask him?

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    My read is he is trying to express himself. That he does indeed care for you and value your friendship. He would like it if you felt the same way. But he is unsure whether you like him in that way or he scared you off by saying I love you. Thus the back tracking at the end.

    So yes - give him some reassurance you do like him too!

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    And nowhere do you mention how you responded, or how you actually feel about this guy.

    yeah, sounds like a the guy put it out there, got no indication that you are interested in whether he continues to draw breath or not, and has adjusted to that fact. Kinda sucks to be him right now it seems

    might want to throw him a lifeline if you feel so inclined......

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    ^agreed... if I was him right now I would be hating life. It sounds like he told you he loved you and your response gave no indication as to whether you care or not, so now he's trying to figure out a way to take it back.

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    ^^ Let's cool it on the hate, guys.

    I didn't mention my feelings because that would make my OP three pages long. I tried to give as many details without going overboard so that people didn't have to sort through a million complicated things to answer my relatively simple question: I was looking for interpretation on his text.

    Anyway I think I am at least beginning to understand what he means, I'm wading through what I believe and don't believe yet, but keep in mind I have no way of knowing what the truth is. We have had amazing times together, and at one point, we were on a road trip together for over a week, and that is when the "I love you's" were said. Any two people experiencing what we experienced, being together, just the two of us, driving through America would develop feelings of love.

    Realistically I know that knowing someone for three months cannot bring with it permanent feelings of love already. I think I was looking at the glass half empty: focusing on what I painfully realized I didn't have (his love) instead of enjoying the friendship and care we have right now.
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    ^you asked for a text interpretation and you got it.

    I'm sorry it wasn't what you were hoping for. I don't take the text the same way you did, it doesn't sound negative or passive to me, just scared, nervous, and not exactly sure where he stands right now.

    It sounds like you're looking for reasons to get out of the relationship. Why can't he love you after three months? That's a pretty decent amount of time. My boyfriend told me he loved me after two and asked me to move in with him. If you don't want to be with this person then that's fine, but if you do it sounds like he does care for you.

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    i'm confused, so do you want him to love you? you said you were heart broken in the first one, so i took that to mean that you really liked him. not trying to hate , just trying to understand xx

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    I am confused as well.

    Let's try to condense this: 1) How do you feel abt this guy? This question doesn't require a million lines of txt to answer, it's actually really simple. 2) as Simone said, do you WANT this guy to love you? 3) he dropped the L-bomb during your epic x-country trip, right? Did you say it back, & whether you said it back or not, did you return his feelings?

    I 2nd the previous advice of having a heart-to-heart w/ this guy & figure out where you both stand w/ each other. That would be immensely more productive than asking for interpretations of a heavily-edited situation, which you're just going to shoot down if they don't match whatever it is you think you want to hear.

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    hate?

    Oh c'mon

    look, so many times, relationships are about timing. If you don't feel the same way about the guy, that is totally ok.

    You have yet to mention how you feel about this guy, which to me,is telling.

    But OK

    If yo do not reciprocate, at some point you need to tell him, no way around it.

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    I really cared about him. thought I had finally found someone, a fellow weirdo who I could be myself with.

    Nope. Everything he said has been bullshit. That text was a well-construed attempt at keeping me around so he can keep getting sex from me. My mother knew it, my brother knew it, and I'm realizing it too. He never meant a word he said. It's all a pointless waste of time.
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: Help! Confusing text interpretation

    He just said he loves you unconditionally.

    Do you love him, too?

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