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  1. #26
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Thanks for those links Sophia. Most of you are probably too young to remember this one story but this model had her face slashed after rejecting a man's advances. These men would do things like this because these types of men hate women and to them women are only here for their enjoyment. I hate the comments some men give that getting compliments is better than getting nothing at all. Sorry but I'd rather be ignored than have some neanderthal tell me how he'd like to ejaculate on my face or something else gross.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by rusdancer View Post
    For some reason these kinds of comments may get worse when dressed down; maybe that is a perception of being more approachable?
    That's a good thought. Personally I get far, far less attention if I dress up and walk around with the attitude I use at work; I've had guy friends tell me I come off as intimidating in that case. Every time I go out in a t-shirt and jeans though, I get hit on. I think these creeps get the idea that a casually dressed girl isn't used to attention and would be more receptive to it ("thankful" for the "compliment").

    It's really sad what a dangerous world it is for women everywhere, but even moreso in some ways that it's still so bad in a "civilized" 1st world country like the US. I'm constantly on guard when walking downtown; I get paranoid if a guy comes within 3 feet of me, or remains behind me at any distance for more than a block. A few years ago when I had to go downtown frequently, I would carry a knife with the blade flush to my hand as I was walking; not sure on the legality of that, but I would rather explain to the police why I had it out than be yanked into an alley and be totally defenseless. It's pathetic that I can't walk to the Starbucks without having to worry about being either sexually harassed or abducted/raped/mugged.

    Also, these fuckers don't realize just how creepy their behavior is to us. Like the guy who walked next to her for 5 minutes in the video? 5 MINUTES? Did it never cross his mind how fucking creepy and uncomfortable that has to be for her?
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    I carry a knife as well, for the same reasons. I am so paranoid that I move onto the shoulder of the road from the sidewalk if I see sm1 passing in my direction -- I have done that for yrs, ever since one nite this POS on a bike just reached out & squeezed my breast as he was passing me, & of course on foot I couldn't catch him, & since it was twilight I couldn't see him well enough to call the police & describe him. I was wearing khakis & a Hawaiian shirt so loud you could see it from three fkng blocks away, it was a retail uniform & I was walking to my car after work.

    Check the CCW laws for your state, Selina -- I know the CCW permit for FL allows knives like mine, plus a few other types of weapons along w/ firearms; maybe your state allows it too. I am looking into getting mine, one of these days, so at least in FL I will no longer be a walking felony waiting to happen.

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    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    This woman has been reported as having rape threats from this story. Very sad day for society.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by KikiGem View Post
    How come whenever there is a problem affecting women being discussed, a guy always comes along and makes a joke out of it?

    I'm convinced that there are no men left who truly respect women as people. It seems women are nothing more to men than objects of sex (if you're attractive) and ridicule/amusement if you are not attractive i.e. 'the fat girl.'

    It's always a fucking game to you guys.
    It's not a fucking game to a whole lot of guys I know. Having put my ass on the line more than once to protect the women I work with, and known many other guys who do the same (or would in a nasty situation on the street), I can assure you that you are way off.

    The objectification runs very powerfully both ways. Women on appearance, men on earning power and 'Player' status. We are still one very small step above herd animals. If there's one thing I have learned in 15 years working the clubs, it's that--and that neither sex is in the least bit superior at resisting the herd instinct

    And I'm quite sure Eagle meant no disrespect.
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    [QUOTE=Selina M;2689855]That's a good thought. Personally I get far, far less attention if I dress up and walk around with the attitude I use at work; I've had guy friends tell me I come off as intimidating in that case. Every time I go out in a t-shirt and jeans though, I get hit on. I think these creeps get the idea that a casually dressed girl isn't used to attention and would be more receptive to it ("thankful" for the "compliment").

    this. I dress nice all the time and I always hair my hair and makeup done a lot of people say I look like a snob or a bitch. Guys stare at me all the time they might say hi or sprint to open the door but they know they better keep it respectful. I naturally don't trust people I'm not friendly I give off the don't fuck with me vibes. Also I think it may be bc she is curvy her assets draw attention. I think if she was pretty and dolled up they would be less likely to say anything.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Coming from a chick who "likes the compliments," I wish these guys really would fucking STOP. I like getting compliments or flirted with by random guys, but not like these assholes do. There is a difference between flirty glances/smiles while you're ringing up my purchase, versus winking like you have a tick or making lewd gestures when I walk by. It's one thing to sneak in a "you're beautiful/gorgeous/etc" after I've acknowledged you in a positive way, it's something very different to yell or whistle at me. And for the love of all things holy, do not come within arm's length of me or follow me unless you WANT me to make a scene.

    The fact that some men are willing to get violent over being turned down just supports what's already been said here, ladies: be prepared to defend yourselves. Definitely check your CCW laws so you know how to legally carry a knife, mace, a tazer, etc. If you're a gun supporter like me, look into getting your CHL. Hell, get creative and wear extra pointy hair sticks or look into other unconventional weapons. Stay aware of your surroundings.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
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    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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  12. #33
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    How horrible!^
    Idk, I haven't run into a lot of the above mentioned, (although I have been chased on the street) but I notice when I go in stores (target for example, I do a fair amt. of food shopping there) people seem..weird.
    Also, what about the people that like to beat up/kill homeless people?

    Snip:
    ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — Three teenagers ganged up on two homeless men and fatally beat them before leaving their bodies nearly unrecognizable, Albuquerque police said Sunday.

    Alex Rios, 18, and two boys, ages 16 and 15, are being held in Bernalillo County detention facilities a day after allegedly killing the victims in an open field, police spokesman Simon Drobik said.

    Just a degeneration of society in general
    Last edited by whirlerz; 10-29-2014 at 07:49 PM.


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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    That's sad. I had an ex boyfriend (notice I said ex)who loved to make fun of homeless people but he wouldn't hurt them. Most homeless are mentally ill so to be evil is morally wrong.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Yea, the article said they had been beating up homeless people for like a year & half?
    I remember the story about the girl (a model) who got her face slashed..just horrible.


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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    I've really never seen any behavior like that here in Atl. I'm sure it happens but I think maybe less in the south. I don't know what kind of reaction there looking for? Maybe it worked for them in the past, idk.
    It def. happens here pretty regularly, but I doubt you would see it since most guys won't do it if another guy is around (whether you're 'with' the girl in question or not). Guys are MUCH better here than they are in Florida for example. Miami is hands down the worse imo. Guys will do/say disgusting stuff in front of your mom, gma, dad, kids, whoever. LA and NY were worse than the south to me but not as bad as Mia. At least in Atlanta I can pretend not to speak English bc that doesn't work in Miami, and the Mexican guys in Ga usually don't say anything to me bc they dont think I know Spanish.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    I'm extremely curious as to how often these approaches have actually WORKED for them. I'm thinking never, but if that's true then why keep it up? When has a female legitimately stopped for you, smiled and gave you her number??

    I was once lost with my sister on our way to a friends, and I mean lost in a bad neighborhood. We find a road with not one but 5 cop cars spread out, parked on both sides. No lights flashing or ambulances so we figured we could ask at least one for directions. We get out and every.cop car.is empty. Wtf. So we head back and a group of 6-7 guys follow. Shouting and asking to come with us. Us two little girls. Are you that stupid? 1 or 2 randoms is more than enough to scare us, were weaker than you, but 6-7? How did you think that was going to work?

    I was jogging around my neighborhood and I have a decent little neighborhood, mostly old people and middle school kids, and a guy gets off his porch and yells "hey come here! I wanna ask you something, get back here! Now!" I don't think I've ran faster in my life. I can't even walk around on my own street it feels.

    Anyway the walking alongside her for 5 minutes really scared me. At that point I would have asked the camera person to step in. Your compliments don't impress us, they scare us. Just stop.

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  18. #38
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by bacardi14 View Post
    It def. happens here pretty regularly, but I doubt you would see it since most guys won't do it if another guy is around (whether you're 'with' the girl in question or not). Guys are MUCH better here than they are in Florida for example. Miami is hands down the worse imo. Guys will do/say disgusting stuff in front of your mom, gma, dad, kids, whoever. LA and NY were worse than the south to me but not as bad as Mia. At least in Atlanta I can pretend not to speak English bc that doesn't work in Miami, and the Mexican guys in Ga usually don't say anything to me bc they dont think I know Spanish.
    From personal experience, Miami was the worst. No matter what time of the day, where, & if you're with a guy. Ugh. The men there are the worst!!

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    It's embarassing to watch these men act like irresponsible idiots. I don't see it happening here (but then I just don't look that good). That woman is beautiful to me, but why would anyone want to make her feel so uncomfortable?

    I wonder if the headscarfs worn by some Muslim women would help that gawking.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by bacardi14 View Post
    It def. happens here pretty regularly, but I doubt you would see it since most guys won't do it if another guy is around (whether you're 'with' the girl in question or not). Guys are MUCH better here than they are in Florida for example. Miami is hands down the worse imo. Guys will do/say disgusting stuff in front of your mom, gma, dad, kids, whoever.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    From personal experience, Miami was the worst. No matter what time of the day, where, & if you're with a guy. Ugh. The men there are the worst!!
    Agreed Miami is pretty bad. I have a friend who lives in Miami that I hang out w/ most times I'm up there for Navy stuff, since it's basically a 3hr+ drive each way for like a 20min meeting. When we have been out together, even tho it's purely platonic he sm times lets me hold his hand as a deterrent from unwanted male attention, at least from the less aggressive guys.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer View Post
    I wonder if the headscarfs worn by some Muslim women would help that gawking.
    Then you probably run the risk of being harassed by sm1 who strongly dislikes Muslims.

    Sm times it feels like unless we want to walk around in sm outlandish but total disguise, like a burlap sack & a Jason mask complete w/ real chainsaw, we can't freakin' win.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    The problem isn't just attention, it's the fact that nothing deters the shitsacks forcing that attention on us.
    ^This.

    I feel like street harassment in general is either getting worse or I'm just getting older, less naive and notice it more. Either way, it's unnecessary, annoying and often threatening.
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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    I was joking, but I do wonder what kind of reaction an attractive lady would get if she wore something like that. I think it's sad that attractive ladies have to put up with that. Wish I knew of a solution. I would never doing anything like what those men were doing in the video.
    I can answer this. As a lady who doesn't always shave their legs. It doesn't help. I would be on the bus, headphones on and my nose in a book. Someone would always make an inappropriate comment, then mention my legs. Pestering me why I don't shave. They call be beautiful, then get pissed when I ask them to please leave me alone. Luckily one of the bus drivers on my route would yell at anyone who would cat call and harass me. Sometimes would kick them off.

    I miss living in a city, but I sure do not miss this. THIS IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT! It is unwanted advances. I still get it living in a smaller area, but not as much since my husband and I do all our errands together just so I can avoid that.





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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Also, these fuckers don't realize just how creepy their behavior is to us. Like the guy who walked next to her for 5 minutes in the video? 5 MINUTES? Did it never cross his mind how fucking creepy and uncomfortable that has to be for her?
    That was the part that made my blood boil, I would love to punch that guy in the face. But I think they do realise, that's why they do it...pathetic.

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  28. #46
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer View Post
    I wonder if the headscarfs worn by some Muslim women would help that gawking.
    See... here's the thing... just like the joke about novelty "hairy leg" pantyhose posted earlier in the thread, a headscarf is not the solution.

    Somehow it always comes down to the notion that women need to do something differently in order to deter men's inappropriate attention. The problem isn't with what women wear... the problem is with what some men feel entitled to do/say.

    Asking a woman to change her attire is sort of like placing the responsibility on the person who did nothing wrong to to begin with!

    Men just need to STOP with the catcalling crap. It's immature, unpleasant, desperate, and shows a huge lack of judgement. At this point in time, I can't fathom how this sort of behavior is considered socially acceptable.

    It's a lot easier to keep your thoughts to yourself and keep your mouth shut about a woman's appearance than it is to start wearing head scarves regularly, or wearing clothing that you don't want to wear but feel that you need to wear because it will prevent street harrassment.

    It's not my fault that some men can't exercise self control... they're the ones who need to do something about that defect... I shouldn't have to change a damn thing.


    And yes, like Selina M mentioned, when I dress down or don't wear makeup I get far more catcalls. That sucks because I have to take a lot of time putting on makeup and arranging outfits so that I look hot and unapproachable. I feel like I can't have a lazy casual day because I look like the girl next-door if I don't go all out with my appearance. It's a pain in the ass! I wish I could wear what I want, look how I want, and go about my business without being bothered by half a dozen guys when I'm not working!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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  30. #47
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    I can't really say I've seen this behavior outside of a night club/bar in the States. Talking CA, NC and TX which is where I've spent the most time. I have seen it overseas in Southern Europe, but even though they are very aggressive and kind of hit on women as a hobby it is from my perspective a little nicer, perhaps even goofy/sappy. If that makes sense.

    I have been to a couple places where women do this to men. It gets old really fast, even the attractive girls you start to avoid eye contact with them after a while. I feel for you.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    From personal experience, Miami was the worst. No matter what time of the day, where, & if you're with a guy. Ugh. The men there are the worst!!
    Not at all surprised to hear this. I have no desire to go to Miami--I've lived in Key West for 8 years and barely driven through it a few times. I would get shot for sure if I lived in that town, smacking some obnoxious punk who was carrying.
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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    There is no excuse for that kind of behavior and I'll never understand it.

    Just one thing to point out though when I watched the video - I don't think that most of those harassment scenes took place in Midtown or Downtown. Girls walk around those areas all day long in much skimpier and tighter outfits and I don't believe I've ever witnessed that kind of behavior from the guys around them. Those shots looked to me like like they came from Harlem, especially since there is no Jimmy Jazz shoe store below 124th street in Manhattan. Those Harlem neighborhoods aren't known to be terribly civilized and, in all candor, it would not surprise me if they picked the rougher areas of "Manhattan" specifically because they expected a certain amount of harassment.

    None of that excuses the behavior of these men one iota, but I think that Manhattan got an awful bad rap with that video.

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    Default Re: This is why I hate going outside

    I live in Harlem and used to live in Washington Heights. The scariest harassment I've experienced was in Midtown and Park Slope. Like, "Is this man going to rape me?" run away harassment. In my neighborhoods it's obnoxious but I haven't usually felt endangered.

    Plus, calling a historically black neighborhood "uncivilized" makes a lot of people cringe. Rethink your choice of words?

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