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Thread: Just let me handle it!!!!

  1. #1
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    Default Just let me handle it!!!!

    My brother is in the midst of an ugly divorce. I won't go into details but, given that he's living alone it will just be him and his son for Thanksgiving. We had this notion that he should come and visit, so he can spend the holiday with the family. Plane dare is about $750 for both of them. I haven't seen him in 10 years and haven't seen my nephew since he was an infant.

    I got a text from my mom, saying that he wasn't coming because he can't afford the tickets. So I texted him and offered to pay for them as an early Christmas gift for the family. He said that he'll think about it but I don't think he'll say yes.

    WTF. Seriously... WTF! He wants to come here. We want him here, but we're all going to end up being sad because of money... That I easily have and want to spend on this.

    I'm SO freaking frustrated right now.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    Aww, sorry hun..maybe he'll change his mind? Maybe was havin a bad moment when you called?


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    No... It's just like this. He thinks that its going to massively put me out to pay for it, because he has no idea that I'm dancing. My parents have these weird hangups about gifts. Its just ridiculous drama that's going to ensure that we have yet another regrettable holiday.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    Could you lie and say that you have frequent flier miles that are expiring that he could use?

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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    No. He knows that I don't travel and we've already had the discussion anyway.

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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    ... there's always the 'winning lottery ticket' story ... that worked for me in the 'early days'.

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    Veteran Member 423texas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    It's very nice of you to do it.

    Maybe, say that you had come into a little extra money and that you want to make him a "loan" of the $750 which he can pay back as he gets on his feet.

    This way he doesn't feel guilty about having to receive a gift from his little sis. And once things get better for him he can repay the loan if he is able.

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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    I don't want him to pay it back. I don't want him to worry about paying it back. I want to do something nice for my family with no strings attached. What's the point of having money if you can't spend it on things that really make you happy?

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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    I understand you want to do something nice, but he obviously isn't comfortable with it, so I think you can to respect that. It isn't doing something nice if it's going to make him uncomfortable. He just got divorced and can't afford a plane ticket, it may be a huge blow to his ego to have his sister pay a plane ticket. Men are so hung up on pride, I gave my little brother $300 for Christmas last year to put towards the 1000+ guitar he wanted and got a load of shit about how it was "too much."

    That said, if you really want him to have it I guess you could just send it. My dad is having major financial problems but refused to take money from me-- I knew his bank details and just transferred it, but I did it because I knew he was about to be evicted. He took it but he was piiiiissed.

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    Just tell him that all the family is chipping in, or something like that. Or give the $ to your dad/stepdad/whoever and have him buy it. A lot of men have trouble accepting gifts like that especially from females they care about. I don't know why. My husband can accept a $600 TV from his father but won't let me or his mom or sister buy him anything. It's a weird pride thing.

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    Default Re: Just let me handle it!!!!

    I've actually thought about that. Just buying the plane tickets and emailing him the details, with a note that says something to the effect of "You're a dick if you waste these. Get your ass down here." I remember how much it sucked to spend holidays alone after I got divorced.

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