Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

  1. #1
    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Location
    I live in the 11th dimension.
    Posts
    3,490
    Thanks
    22,167
    Thanked 9,536 Times in 2,817 Posts
    My Mood
    Stressed

    Default Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    I have a friend who I haven't talked since high school. He is physically disabled and has been in a wheelchair all of his life. We went on a few movie/dinner dates. His sister would come along to help him. He was very nice and a total gentlemen. I wanted to be nice because I thought he might be lonely and I knew other people could be mean to him. But by being nice, I gave him wrong idea about us. I hurt him when I said I just wanted to be friends. We stopped talking as much after that. So yesterday, my mom called to tell me that he is in the hospital recovering from surgery. My mom said I should visit. My mom knows the story, but says I should visit. I would like to reconnect because we had fun together. I don't know.

  2. #2
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    Well, you closed your post by saying you would like to reconnect, so I think you've answered your own question. It's not like if you reconnect you have to be BFFs and you can never stop talking to him. You can just pop in or send a card and let him know you're thinking about him and hopes he gets better. Test the waters a bit. If he doesn't take it the wrong way and is also open to reconnecting, slowly re-establish the friendship. If either he isn't interested or you get uncomfortable, there's nothing wrong with just leaving it at that.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to shanna dior For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    717
    Thanks
    1,880
    Thanked 1,415 Times in 521 Posts

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    Devils advocate - but what are you hoping to achieve by connecting?

    If it is to be friends again - great. Reach out.

    But if not - its because you feel bad for him then connecting out of pity would probably hurt more than not at all.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to amberlly For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    13,467
    Thanks
    10,869
    Thanked 20,995 Times in 6,795 Posts

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    Quote Originally Posted by amberlly View Post
    Devils advocate - but what are you hoping to achieve by connecting?

    If it is to be friends again - great. Reach out.

    But if not - its because you feel bad for him then connecting out of pity would probably hurt more than not at all.
    Yeah, this sounds about right. I'm of the rare opinion that reconnecting with people you knew from high school and earlier is generally not a good idea. There are so many people out there in the world - it's usually a better idea to meet new people rather than trying to return to older acquaintances. It sounds like you'd be reconnecting with him to 'make amends' due to feeling guilty about something that he may not have even thought of in a long time. The core of this is that you'd be meeting up with him to make yourself feel better - it would be about you, not him - and I'm not sure that is the best idea. It could just dredge up old wounds during a time when he should be focusing on his recovery. On the other hand, if you think you'd actually want to befriend him (as in a mutually beneficial friendship - not just a 'friendship' designed to bolster his self-esteem), then I say go for it!

    I hope my post doesn't sound harsh at all. I don't mean it that way! Sometimes I get the urge to get back in touch with people I knew 5-10 years ago, and I always decide against it. I've changed so much during that time; it's easy to regress to the person you used to be when you're spending time with people who knew you as a less mature / rounded person. If I'm honest about why I want to reconnect with them, it's usually for a selfish reason: I want to show them how much I've changed, I'm curious about where they've ended up, or I'm feeling temporarily nostalgic.

  7. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to charlie61 For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    Well he was like a friend to you at past moment in time and he is recovering from surgery so if you feel the need to reach out in his time of need, I would keep it as cordial as possible. Maybe send a card or care package. Or if you feel the need to visit him in person, go with someone like your mom since she suggested. so its not like you are one on one and he doesn't get the wrong idea again.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Location
    I live in the 11th dimension.
    Posts
    3,490
    Thanks
    22,167
    Thanked 9,536 Times in 2,817 Posts
    My Mood
    Stressed

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I hope my post doesn't sound harsh at all. I don't mean it that way!
    No, I understand how you meant it. And thanks everyone.

    I think you guys are right, I trying to reconnect for selfish reasons. Well mostly. I will send a get well soon card and see how it goes from there.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Elektra Luxx For This Useful Post:


  12. #7
    God/dess DonaDiabla's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2013
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    3,820
    Thanks
    5,361
    Thanked 7,701 Times in 2,730 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    Elektra Luxx, I think there is nothing wrong with sending a nice card or even flowers to an old friend.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to DonaDiabla For This Useful Post:


  14. #8
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    I would. It would mean a lot to him.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to JoJoX For This Useful Post:


  16. #9
    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    513
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked 125 Times in 78 Posts

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    Sure why not? Don't have to become besties or anything. Could be more trouble than it's worth too, I don't like being reminded what type of shy person I used to be.
    "You wonder why the fuck I rap?
    It's deez SeXaY BiAtCHeZ on mah lap!"
    -peachplumpear

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to peachplumpear For This Useful Post:


  18. #10
    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Location
    I live in the 11th dimension.
    Posts
    3,490
    Thanks
    22,167
    Thanked 9,536 Times in 2,817 Posts
    My Mood
    Stressed

    Default Re: Should I reconnect with a friend from High School?

    I went on a dinner date with my friend a last night to see "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" and then dinner. We talked and laughed and had a really good time. And at the end of the night, I gave him a friendly kiss on the lips and I told him I had a really good time. I mean that's what a guy at the end of a date is expecting? Right? I did not not want to feel different just because he's in a wheelchair. I hope that was not a mistake.

Similar Threads

  1. Me In High School
    By PaigeDWinter in forum Picture Post
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 05-22-2007, 06:24 AM
  2. High School
    By PookaShell in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 11-30-2006, 10:29 PM
  3. old high school crush
    By krchab99 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-03-2006, 05:25 PM
  4. What were you like in high school?
    By PhillyDancer1982 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 60
    Last Post: 08-03-2006, 01:52 PM
  5. High School?
    By Chuck149 in forum General Board
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-15-2003, 06:07 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •