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Thread: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

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    Default Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    For me it has. Mostly because in my city, its tough period to make friends. But I also find I just don't click with women since becoming a kept women/ SB. I still have female friends who can't afford to go out (even a simple night out, dinner/ drinks) etc. is problematic for them. And I learned my lesson when it comes to paying for others who don't ever do the same for you in return.

    I find it kind of pathetic that there are women with no hustle about them. Just content with living paycheck to paycheck. I'm obsessed with saving money and call me cheap, but at least I'm not broke.

    Anyway, shout out to the hustlers! If you have friends you can confide in about your job/ lifestyle, hold on to them! Its hard to find good people.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    Mostly, I am a loner but I have found some great female friends. However, I must say that they are mostly college friends who knew about my life as sex worker since 18. They knew me as the girl who will talk for money Many of my friends do unique careers such as fashion marketing, archeology, and theater acting. So, they do not judge nor act shocked by my current profession. We keep in touch with facebook and go out about every month. In addition, I do have a friend who also work as cam girl/pso as well. Moreover, I stop talking to many of my high-school friends for the most part because they did not have any hustle in them. Plus they was having 6 kids in 6 years or getting married to jobless losers. So, I was not digging that scene. I agree it is hard finding ladies to become good friends as well. But that is not an sex worker thing that is more ambitious woman thang. I have friends who work in fashion and have difficulty finding good friends.I believe the key is meeting people like yourself.I used to have a good male trucker friend but we lost touch due to our schedules. I hope this helps you

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    Some of my best friends are all sex workers of various varieties, or people that I've known since childhood.

    I think it's pretty hard to become friends with people, personally, and adding sex work as a "this is what I do" part makes it even more difficult. Oddly, I've had a lot of success meeting people via Meetup.com, Reddit meetups, and industry gatherings that a friend of mine puts on (strictly for industry members, not fans/clients).

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    It has always been hard for me to find, and keep, good female friends. Growing up in H.S. and even before, I noticed girls saw every other girl as competition or something; whatever it was, they were *not* about making new girlfriends, especially with me since I was the new girl so much. The good female friends I've had I can count on one hand and we have all drifted/moved away and on.

    Another big problem is that most girls my own age have not quite grown up yet. I guess this goes hand in hand with hating on other girls just because. A lot of them are popping out kids already like there's no tomorrow and settling with really lame boyfriends and I refuse to be dragged into that phenomenon...

    When my mom was growing up she said girls were super close and actually protected each other from loser guys, and watched each other's back. Sadly I feel these type of women (and people in general) are in an extreme minority.

    Has anyone tried sites like girlfriendsocial.com?
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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    I was struck by this exact reality this past week. All of my female friends have moved away and I cannot, for the life of me, make more around here. It's not that I have no female friends, but they're all friends who I had before entering the industry, and it's difficult to make more now that those people are all over the country. In general, most of my friends are not only men, but entrepreneurial-minded men. I don't necessarily care if other people, even women, go for more "traditional" jobs and lifestyles and aren't rolling in cash, but women especially seem to get some morally high attitude about it when confronted with other women who are making more money doing things they wouldn't do. Men seem to be more supportive of ambitious people, though there have been some guys I've cut out of my life for the same unsupportive, "stay in the box" attitude.

    It would definitely be nice to have more "hustle-minded" women around. Unfortunately, in this city, it seems like if women aren't older, "more traditional," and a little stuck-up, they're young, totally non-serious, party girls. It's like there's no middle ground. Frustrating.
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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    After 21, Ive had trouble making friends, i always thought it was bc i was socially awkward but sometimes its just females who just dont like you for the dumbest shit. Im 31 and i only have a couple of non industry girlfriends thats ive been friends with over the years but ive outgrown them, and things that i would enjoy like a girl trip to the islands could never happen bc theyre too scared to get on a plane or leave their element. I was thinking how lonely i feel in the this industry bc i have no one to really confide in and discuss things that are important to me like making and saving alot of money. I tried to befriend a girl once in the industry but she turned out to be shady and everything was a competition which is not how i roll, so yeah i kinda just embrace being a loner now.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    I usually keep 2--maybe 3--female friends. I don't really have a problem making friends initially but it's harder making them stick. It's like they either just want to use me for $, rides, babysitting, etc which I catch onto early and get rid of them. I've had more than one friend "dump" me because I made them feel "insecure" or they didn't want me around their boyfriends/husbands which is absolutely ridiculous. I don't want anything to do with any man besides my husband--but you know I'm a dancer so in their minds I'm gonna use some black magic stripper voodoo on their man. (eye roll)

    Right now I'm good friends with two girls that I hang out with on a regular basis. One is a super intelligent, beautiful, SECURE ex-dancer who is awesome and my best friend in Chicago. The other is a dancer I work with who is also super cool and sweet but under 21 (which limits activities we can do together like going out to bars, etc.) There's another girl I hang out with on occasion who is super sweet but she works a vanilla job and she's in grad school so we don't see each other much. I think more than 2-3 friends is too much work. I don't have time for any more.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    Yup. Especially when you're a stripper with pet snakes.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    I have a couple of close female friends from school. We catch up regularly and the effort is mutual.

    And a few people o/s that I catch up with through fb.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    I've met a few of my longest lasting and friends at work (I've only stripped in the adult industry). I'm generally not someone who seeks out new friendships, so they had to have already been someone whose presence I liked ITC, and also the one to make the first move. Despite these unlikely circumstances I came out lucky.

    You haven't mentioned how outgoing and persistent you are in forming relationships, so I can't comment on that aspect. But the other thing that helped me is that the club I worked at longest was tiny and there was a lot of downtime where you could see how a coworker was when they weren't hustling customers.

    I know you're a kept woman now, but if you're thirsty for friendship, are there any smaller clubs you would be interested in? If you wanted to work one shift a week, you could probably hustle your SD into letting you do this without insulting his generosity. Anyway, having as many side hustles as possible is great when you're a SB. From both a mental health and financial standpoint.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    Yep. I had lots of friends back in the US but they were all people I became friends with either before entering the industry or at university while I was working. I think I've made like, one friend and then my boyfriend since moving to London and working purely in adult entertainment.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    Yes, and I "feel" like that should bother me but it just doesn't. I feel like explaining my life to another woman would just be exhausting and I would probably be judged unnecessarily for it anyway.
    I have a few friends at my club and since I am a loner anyway, I'm content with the amount of socializing I get there.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    I have always had trouble making friends -period- & am a lot less inclined to try, between my adult history & the recent flustercluck that is my last relationship.

    Stripping was a big part of my life for a long time, & I don't think I should HAVE to keep quiet abt it to avoid offending others' sensitivities ... but the reality is much different. Like Wednesday & sm of the other posters mentioned, most non-industry women will automatically believe we're the devil, esp if they have a bf/husband. They may or may not be upfront abt that belief, & the 'not knowing' thing probably pisses me off more than anything. I can't stand ppl who are fake abt their beliefs. If you don't like me, great -- unfortunately for you, I'll live . Just have the lady-balls to be honest abt it.

    Besides, if it's not stripping, it'll be smtg else. My politics, my deep-running police sympathies, my love for animals above most ppl, my 'major psychotic fkng hatred' for shoe shopping

    Sm times I think I would like to meet more of the girls from SW, many of you seem to really have your heads on & your priorities in better order than a lot of the non-industry girls I've met.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    I gave up trying to make girlfriends. I find the beehive mentality nauseating. Also asking some girls to hangout is like you asked them to marry you!
    I ride solo dolo because I don't have time for that. Thing is people think you're weird or a bitch if you have no gfs or do shit by yourself for yourself. It's exhausting. It sucks but I like this hedonistic adventure iam on! I also think I'm becoming too narcissistic for friends. Some of the nicest girls I've met so far have been strippers so hopefully I meet some more ladies like you when I dance again
    The only way to get rid of a temptation is to indulge in it...


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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    ^^What's the beehive mentality?

    I always get a little prickly hearing generalizations that women can't be chill, low maintenance friends. I have plenty, the problem is just that our type is less likely to pursue relationships. If this is one of the main reasons you gave up on making girlfriends, do whatever works for you obviously, but maybe that particular belief is something to reconsider.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to form platonic, female friendships in the adult industry?

    The beehive mentality to me is more of like a group think or if you're into Star Trek; Borg. Very little individualism, emotionally draining and you constantly have to be aware and on. It's a lot of work. The only girls who I have met that aren't like this are lesbians or introverts. Like I said I'm becoming more self absorbed so the whole supportive environment women can be known for cultivating doesn't work for me. Didn't mean to stereotype but there's truth in them
    The only way to get rid of a temptation is to indulge in it...


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