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Thread: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

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    Default Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Hello ladies
    Well I realize this is my first post ever on the stripperweb forums, but I have been "lurking" on these forums for months now. This is a throw away account because my main account can easily be identified if someone searched my cam name, and this is sort a personal thing I would like to talk about but remain anonoymous. (I tried to search if I could post this quedtion on my main account and just make my post viewable to members, but I couldn't figure out if that was possible)

    Anywho, I am a cam girl and have been for about 3 months.
    My ex boyfriend of 10 months tried to be okay with it for a long time but finally couldn't take it anymore. It was a horrible way that he found out too.. he went through my phone. (Yes I immensly regret not telling him first, I had planned too, but was looking for the right time.. he sort of beat me to the punch.) Anyway, I would always tell him I would stop, then he would say "no I want you to do what you want to do" then he would change his mind, that went on for a while before finally he had enough. Finally he persuaded me into feeling like I should stop, so I told him I would, but I didn't because I needed the extra money and frankly, I didn't really feel like he had the right to tell me what I can and can't do as an independent woman, and him, as a man that still lives with his mother. (Also he is 4 years older than me).
    We broke it off when he found out I was doing it again. I felt sad, and like a liar, I felt like I let camming split us up. But again, I was doing what was best for myself.


    So I figured it was for the best and have been trying to slowly move on.. but in the back of my mind I keep thinking, how could I do that to someone who loved me so much? He would have literally did anything for me and I basically sh*t on his feelings by continuing to do something he absolutely was disgusted by.

    I'm 19, I go to college, and also have two other jobs and live on my own. I like camming because well, I love money! Haha but he would always say "It's not like you NEED the money.." And that was pretty accurate, but it was the thought that I would be able to earn an unlimited earning potential and up my lifestyle by camming that made it impossible for me to stop. I also look at camming as an outlet, and a way for me to show my sexy and flirty side without guys getting the wrong idea (and me getting paid for it).
    In return, he thought I loved attention and fed off compliments from horny men online.

    It was never about that.

    I don't know what I'm saying right now and I really don't even know the point to my story but I guess I just want to know that not all men will think of camming as such a MAJOR factor in a relationship. Yes it is a part of who I am, but it is not who I am entirely.
    My ex left me feeling like I will never be respected, loved in the way he "loved" me, and just overall worthless because of camming.

    Any advice, comments, kind words, even critisim, is appreciated right now. Just feeling sad.

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Oh wow. He is how old and lives with his mother?

    You won't have these issues when you find a secure man to date and not a boy. You really don't need an insecure immature guy like that in your life.

    There are secure men out there who can support themselves and also realize this is a wonderful lucrativebusiness.

    Really I think it can be a pretty good measure of how mature a man is and also how sexually repressed (or unrepressed) he might be!


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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    Oh wow. He is how old and lives with his mother?

    You won't have these issues when you find a secure man to date and not a boy. You really don't need an insecure immature guy like that in your life.

    There are secure men out there who can support themselves and also realize this is a wonderful lucrativebusiness.

    Really I think it can be a pretty good measure of how mature a man is and also how sexually repressed (or unrepressed) he might be!
    He is 23 years old. So, still young, but sh*t, I'm young too! That's no excuse in my opinion.

    And I think you are absolutely right. I would love to find a mam that is so mature and confident in the relationship he couldn't give a crap less if I cam. But I don't know why I get so frustrated with men my age.. they don't think in the way I want them too and my ex further reinforced that fact when he told me no one would ever want to "be with a girl that does that for money"..

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    *hugs* to you! What a sad story. I know there's blaming to be done on both sides here, but it's a shame that camming was such a factor in your relationship.

    There ARE guys out there who do not give a fuck. There are even guys out there who do not give a fuck if you DO love the attention and the compliments from horny men online (like my man!). It takes a certain amount of sexual maturity to be ok with it. However, you HAVE to have a healthy relationship to not have this be an issue, the same way you have to have a healthy relationship to not see sexual advances from others (to you, or to your man) as a threat to your relationship. Real life isn't like high school, and the only real threat should be HOW YOU respond to sexual (or even worse, emotional) advances from others.

    Camming is like, a total step back from that, because its a job. You wouldn't be doing it if you weren't making money. But the type of guy that even pays for a camgirl? My husband knows I wouldn't be into that kind of guy anyway because camming is all a show-- it's not genuine advances.

    I realize I'm rambling here, but I hope that helped. Feel better. Sounds like you and your guy had tons of communication issues-- I hope you find someone you're more compatible with!
    "Do you do tech support in exclusive?"

    Don't call me BB...I'm not the prime minister of Israel!



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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Quote Originally Posted by throwawayboyfriend View Post
    He is 23 years old. So, still young, but sh*t, I'm young too! That's no excuse in my opinion.

    And I think you are absolutely right. I would love to find a mam that is so mature and confident in the relationship he couldn't give a crap less if I cam. But I don't know why I get so frustrated with men my age.. they don't think in the way I want them too and my ex further reinforced that fact when he told me no one would ever want to "be with a girl that does that for money"..
    That's why I always date older men! lol
    "Do you do tech support in exclusive?"

    Don't call me BB...I'm not the prime minister of Israel!



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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Yes we definitely had more issues outside of camming too, that's why I'm just happy the relationship is over and he can be with someone more uhh.. conservative.. hahaha.

    I was hestiant to even post that story, but I'm glad I did. I feel much better getting it off my chest and having you wonderful women on here who have been there, or at least know where I'm coming from.

    Thank you.

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Any man that thinks a woman is lesser or somehow "tainted" by sex work is a misogynist. And trust me, if a man hates women or is threatened by them it seeps into everything and ruins relationships because you cannot build a house on a rotten foundation. It wouldn't matter if you never did sex work, the problem is men who don't respect women.

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlotteslut View Post
    Any man that thinks a woman is lesser or somehow "tainted" by sex work is a misogynist. And trust me, if a man hates women or is threatened by them it seeps into everything and ruins relationships because you cannot build a house on a rotten foundation. It wouldn't matter if you never did sex work, the problem is men who don't respect women.
    Not only that, but he was the very same man that was on the other side of the computer, being entertained by the very same women he told me he was disgusted by. He loved watching cam girls, and quite often too. Wow. I am such a dumbass. Writing this out seems very idiotic on my part to date someone like this, but eh. Live and you learn.

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Quote Originally Posted by throwawayboyfriend View Post
    Not only that, but he was the very same man that was on the other side of the computer, being entertained by the very same women he told me he was disgusted by. He loved watching cam girls, and quite often too. Wow. I am such a dumbass. Writing this out seems very idiotic on my part to date someone like this, but eh. Live and you learn.
    We've pretty much all been there girl, so hugs. I've lost male friends, potential dates, potential boyfriends, etc., over telling them I cam or gauging their response to my side-story of a 'friend' who does it. These dudes? They watch porn, often for free and that's stolen content because they're cheap bastards. But oh it's always 'lo the Scarlet Woman who engages in it! She's a whore! She's a sub-human! I can watch it, but those people who preform? I'm so much better than them.'

    Those aren't men. Those are assholes.

    It's sort of like this whole stigma that 'sex workers need to get out of sex work and make something of their lives' clashing with 'but I would never want to employ a former sex worker.' It's total hypocrisy.

    Everyone has the right to their opinions, but when they start using ultimatums I run in the opposite direction. You don't have to like what I do, but you need to respect that it's mine and it's staying that way. Not happening? Start packing bro.

    Outside of camming, he disrespected you and violated your privacy in going through your phone, then basically called you a whore who was flirting with random men. Camming or no, a tiger doesn't change it's stripes. If it hadn't been camming, it would have been something else to get hypocritical over. He has some serious growing up to do before he'll be able to handle a relationship with another person.


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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Once you date a secure, emotionally mature man you'll never be satisfied with anything less!! It's awesome.


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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Did you help him pack? Think of what happened as a blessing. You deserve better! Being a cam girl, I've realized that not a lot of men can afford the luxury of my love and devotion. Don't waste sunset with people that will be gone by sunrise.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Issabelle View Post
    We've pretty much all been there girl, so hugs. I've lost male friends, potential dates, potential boyfriends, etc., over telling them I cam or gauging their response to my side-story of a 'friend' who does it. These dudes? They watch porn, often for free and that's stolen content because they're cheap bastards. But oh it's always 'lo the Scarlet Woman who engages in it! She's a whore! She's a sub-human! I can watch it, but those people who preform? I'm so much better than them.'

    Those aren't men. Those are assholes.

    It's sort of like this whole stigma that 'sex workers need to get out of sex work and make something of their lives' clashing with 'but I would never want to employ a former sex worker.' It's total hypocrisy.

    Everyone has the right to their opinions, but when they start using ultimatums I run in the opposite direction. You don't have to like what I do, but you need to respect that it's mine and it's staying that way. Not happening? Start packing bro.

    Outside of camming, he disrespected you and violated your privacy in going through your phone, then basically called you a whore who was flirting with random men. Camming or no, a tiger doesn't change it's stripes. If it hadn't been camming, it would have been something else to get hypocritical over. He has some serious growing up to do before he'll be able to handle a relationship with another person.

    Thank you thank you, thank you!
    It's always so crazy to me when I think about guys really passing up an awesome girl because of fucking camming. Like, every single female on here in my eyes should be the type of girl a man WANTS to date. Someone who is independent, open-minded, smart, money motivated, friendly... but oh God forbid she is a a great girl who is confident in herself enough to cam/strip/whatever it may be. All the time I thought it was me who needs to get over the fact that some people won't accept what I do, when in reality it's THEM who need to get over it.

    Sometimes I just wish I could date the boy version of me.

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Quote Originally Posted by throwawayboyfriend View Post
    Thank you thank you, thank you!
    It's always so crazy to me when I think about guys really passing up an awesome girl because of fucking camming. Like, every single female on here in my eyes should be the type of girl a man WANTS to date. Someone who is independent, open-minded, smart, money motivated, friendly... but oh God forbid she is a a great girl who is confident in herself enough to cam/strip/whatever it may be. All the time I thought it was me who needs to get over the fact that some people won't accept what I do, when in reality it's THEM who need to get over it.

    Sometimes I just wish I could date the boy version of me.
    One of my very good male friends of almost a decade has blocked me on social media and stopped talking to me. I told him I did PSO work (not even camming--PHONE BONING) and he loved all my stories. Then he started seeing me 'sexually' I guess, and during an off period with his girlfriend called me his 'other' or 'not-girlfriend' and had the audacity to say that we'd be friends with benefits if not for her to 'get it out of our systems.' Um, excuse me?! The fact that I'm in adult work does not mean that I'm a whore or that I'd be interested in sleeping with you. Helluva leap in logic right there. He then told me he'd never called me a whore but that I 'needed to be aware of how others perceived my personality.' The frosty bitch, fuck you one? Because I've never lead him on.

    But heaven have mercy, because a cam model/PSO girl/stripper/escort must be a whore who wants everyone. And it's her fault that you thought of her naked and probably got off on a fantasy of her at work after she told you. Absolutely. You are 100% correct sir.

    I'm so glad my boyfriend doesn't treat me differently for my job. Mind you, we barely discuss it, but he knows I still actively work in camming and nothing between us has changed. Good men exist. Unfortunately, so do overgrown children. Just gotta wade through the bullshit to find 'em.

    P.S. I don't know about you, but I couldn't date the male version of me. I'd strangle the bastard. I'm enough to handle on my own. I don't need two of me, thank-you-very-much. lol.


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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Issabelle View Post
    One of my very good male friends of almost a decade has blocked me on social media and stopped talking to me. I told him I did PSO work (not even camming--PHONE BONING) and he loved all my stories. Then he started seeing me 'sexually' I guess, and during an off period with his girlfriend called me his 'other' or 'not-girlfriend' and had the audacity to say that we'd be friends with benefits if not for her to 'get it out of our systems.' Um, excuse me?! The fact that I'm in adult work does not mean that I'm a whore or that I'd be interested in sleeping with you. Helluva leap in logic right there. He then told me he'd never called me a whore but that I 'needed to be aware of how others perceived my personality.' The frosty bitch, fuck you one? Because I've never lead him on.

    But heaven have mercy, because a cam model/PSO girl/stripper/escort must be a whore who wants everyone. And it's her fault that you thought of her naked and probably got off on a fantasy of her at work after she told you. Absolutely. You are 100% correct sir.

    I'm so glad my boyfriend doesn't treat me differently for my job. Mind you, we barely discuss it, but he knows I still actively work in camming and nothing between us has changed. Good men exist. Unfortunately, so do overgrown children. Just gotta wade through the bullshit to find 'em.

    P.S. I don't know about you, but I couldn't date the male version of me. I'd strangle the bastard. I'm enough to handle on my own. I don't need two of me, thank-you-very-much. lol.
    Wow....
    I really wish I could understand how the male mind works at times, not even for my own benefit but I am curious as hell because a lot of the shit they do has no logical explanation. Like you said, in WHAT mind do you have to be in to assume that because we are in the sex industry we are just some horny little sex kittens (I mean, sometimes.. ) but not all the time. At that is certainly not the "image" we give off. Thats the image THEY give us. I feel so strongly about this because its so hypocritical, and I can't stand a hypocrite.

    And to your last comment, LOL. You're right.. I would probably be compelled to kill him, or at least devise a plan to drive him far away the fuck from me hahaha
    But as far as mindset goes, I will continue to search for a man who sees beyond what in the grand scheme of things, will not matter.

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    I hear stories about guys going through their girlfriend's phone, or going on her Facebook account and unfriending or blocking people, and I just think it's fucked up, immature, and proves they have no respect for you or your privacy. Seriously, I'd break up with a guy who did shit like that.
    My referral link for models to join the Boleyn Models daily pay program
    https://cammodelpay.com/ref?page=&campaign=&affToken=NDcx

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    a good relationship is about based on many factors - love is not enough

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    Default Re: Break up, boyfriend, sad.. need some kind words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Issabelle View Post
    One of my very good male friends of almost a decade has blocked me on social media and stopped talking to me. I told him I did PSO work (not even camming--PHONE BONING) and he loved all my stories. Then he started seeing me 'sexually' I guess, and during an off period with his girlfriend called me his 'other' or 'not-girlfriend' and had the audacity to say that we'd be friends with benefits if not for her to 'get it out of our systems.' Um, excuse me?! The fact that I'm in adult work does not mean that I'm a whore or that I'd be interested in sleeping with you. Helluva leap in logic right there. He then told me he'd never called me a whore but that I 'needed to be aware of how others perceived my personality.' The frosty bitch, fuck you one? Because I've never lead him on.

    But heaven have mercy, because a cam model/PSO girl/stripper/escort must be a whore who wants everyone. And it's her fault that you thought of her naked and probably got off on a fantasy of her at work after she told you. Absolutely. You are 100% correct sir.

    I'm so glad my boyfriend doesn't treat me differently for my job. Mind you, we barely discuss it, but he knows I still actively work in camming and nothing between us has changed. Good men exist. Unfortunately, so do overgrown children. Just gotta wade through the bullshit to find 'em.

    P.S. I don't know about you, but I couldn't date the male version of me. I'd strangle the bastard. I'm enough to handle on my own. I don't need two of me, thank-you-very-much. lol.

    Y'all are so cute. Men are NOT friends with females unless they think one day they will have a chance to fuck them. Men do NOT even form friendships with females they are NOT attracted to on some level. Always in the back of their mind they are thinking "one day I will fuck her". It isn't really even a REAL friendship. Men stay friends with their ex's cause one day they want to hit it again.

    Now for the poster of this thread... you are 19, you have much to learn. So much of life & relationships ahead of you. Men will use anything to guilt you into doing what they want. It is a head game. Love your job & life, then you have nothing to feel guilty about.

    Do NONE of you read Maxim & such..... Go get a subscription. Those mags tell men how to lie & manipulate females in any situation to get what they want. Which is NEVER in your best interest but their DICKs. When you find a man who truly puts your best interest over his sex drive then you found a keeper.

    You are NOT his property to tell what to do. Your sexuality is not HIS to keep from the world & only to satisfy him. Going through your phone was a blatant lack of respect. You deserve respect no matter what you do in life.

    Laugh it all off. You have every right to make as much money as you want to. Often abusers use to keep females from earning a good living as a way to control them. Always make your own money & look after your financial future. There are many divorced females from rich doctors & lawyers in their 40s, 50s & 60s who are Broke & have to start over again. They counted on the man...

    Chalk it up to a lesson learned. Older is not always better, don't assume that either. Find a older wiser soul who gets you, who wants to share life & the adventures with you.

    In today's world there are WAY many more females in college than men. Yet, we are getting paid way less than ever than men in the same jobs. He is NOT better or wiser to tell you what to do or not to do. To tell you that you make enough money as it is now. Make that extra money & invest it wisely for your future. Do NOT discuss they with a man, cause it isn't any of your business. Did he discuss his money with you? Did he have to answer to you how he spent it?

    He lived at home. His Momma pays his bills. That is NOT a man.. that kind of guy goes from his Momma supporting him to a female supporting him. Did you love him enough to pay for his way through life while being judged by him? This is a common game pimps do to the girls they use. They make them feel guilty & not worthy, yet live off of them. Did you want a pimp?


    Write down what kind of man you do want in life. And trust the powers to be to bring them into your life.

    Smooches,
    Sam

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