And I'm struggling with accepting it. I feel like a horrible person for not having this close bond with my mom, and for not "obeying" her, but she is ruining my life. My mom and I used to be very close, but when her job began stressing her out, she began taking out her frustrations on me. She lost her job over two years ago and hasn't found another job. She ended up losing her house late last year, and she moved in with me. For months we argued constantly, it was a hostile environment, and I was completely miserable. She told everyone in the family, and all of her friends, my business, she was sneaky, she acted like I couldn't be trusted, and she accused me of "fooling with trash in the streets" and "fooling with drug dealers." I don't know any drug dealers, and all of my friends have steady careers and most are college grads. If I wanted to buy drugs, I wouldn't even know who to ask. Since she couldn't help pay any of my bills, I did expect her to watch my son when I needed her to, but I had issues with her several times because she wouldn't want to, because he's not her "responsibility." On top of that, she tried to control who I had over my place, and if I had a guy over at night, when my son was asleep, she would have an attitude, and lecture me about it. I told her several times that I wanted her out ASAP and did not want her to be here. She never made any effort until I told her I was moving in with my boyfriend when my lease is up in February. When I told her, her response was, "what about me?"
I met my boyfriend in May, but I didn't bring him around my mom until October. She gave him the cold shoulder too when she first met him, but after a while, she kept telling me how much she liked him, and told him she hopes he is her future son-in-law, because he carried on conversations with her and because of what he would/can do for her. If my boyfriend brought me food, he would bring some for my mom too, and he would help out around my house. My mom started taking advantage of it though, and I had to tell her she was out of line. I knew my boyfriend didn't have the money to keep feeding my mom too, but he wanted to surprise me with my favorite food. When I told my mom he was bringing me a surprise dinner, she said in a "joking" voice "He better come in here with enough for us all." And my mom was considering asking him if he would drive us several states away, to see my brother in prison, because my mom is afraid to drive herself (remind you, this would be my boyfriend's first time even meeting my brother).
Fast forward to last night, my 4 year old son, was acting out of control (this happens several times a week). He wasn't listening to me, he was talking back to my mom (by saying stuff like "I'm not going to go in my room. I'm going to do what I want to do.") and he kept hitting my boyfriend. With my permission, my boyfriend got up and tapped my son on his bottom and told him to go into his room. My son screamed at him, ran in his room and slammed the door. My mom immediately ran upstairs and asked my son what was wrong, but he didn't respond, and instead he kept throwing toys, so she went back downstairs. A few minutes later, my son came out of his room and started yelling "damn" at my boyfriend (my mom says damn a lot, and my son now yells "damn" and "Damn you" whenever he is angry and crying). My boyfriend got up and my son started yelling "I'm sorry!!" and screamed and ran downstairs and told my mom that my boyfriend hit him. My mom called me downstairs and yelled at me for allowing it, and then she came upstairs and yelled at my boyfriend and said "we may talk and joke, but we ain't cool like that," and she threatened to call CPS on me and call my son's dad (who doesn't pay child support, who has cursed my mom out, has multiple DUIs, a battery charge on me, and has threatened to not return my son from visitation) and have him take my son away from me.
In my state, I have to give her 30 days before I can make her get out, and since I plan to move anyway, and can't be around her another 30 days, I'm moving my stuff out this week, and turning off my utilities, cable, internet and alarm, and only paying my rent, since I have to. I told her I'm doing this and that she can get utilities turned on in her name and she keeps telling me she cant believe I'm doing this, and that I'm a nasty person. She also was in disbelief that I was moving my son, and I don't want to make an abrupt change like this in his life, but I don't know if it's healthy to have him in a hostile environment. I feel like her goal was to run my boyfriend off, so that she can continue to live off of me. She has a friends house that she can go to, but she doesn't want to, because she knows she can't run her friend's house like she does mine. I'm really struggling with accepting how our relationship has turned out. I've never been close with my family because I never saw my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents much. My mom, dad, and brother were the only family I had. Has anyone here been in a similar situation where your relationship with your mother deteriorated?



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