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Thread: Would this be the right thing to do?

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    Mind Blowing Would this be the right thing to do?

    Where do I start? Ok, so I love the little beach town I currently live in ,but as I've stated in other threads there are no clubs in my area unless I drive an hr & a half away 3 nights or more per week for work. I've tried that & it is really exhausting for the most part & not to mention more wear & tear on my car. I'm kinda unhappy having a roommate at the moment due to the fact that well, I miss having MY own space & to not have to speak to anyone when I come or go. I've been struggeling to keep my head above water here now for the last couple of months & it has lead me to toy with the idea to move out in 2 weeks & drive back east where my family is & to stay rent free for a couple of weeks & save money for a better situation out here. I realize that might lead me into a temporary motel living situation (which is really pricey) but I hate having to pay for a room here when I'm traveling & sometimes aren't even here for half the month. My roommate seems to want to bitch at me for minor things lately & has been coming into my room when I'm not home, which I hate. I know that hotel living is way more expensive in the long run but I somehow feel I might be happier knowing I've got a studio type room with a kitchenette. It'll be about $400 a week, and I'm currently paying about $750 for a room with a patio/deck but with limited privacy. I've got several ads on craigslist for a cheaper room or even a studio but don't have the funds to move into one just yet. I'm so confused! I want to come back here & live for sure but I wanna travel to a few states in the next couple of months for work & live out of motels there so it really doesn't make much sense to stay & have to pay for a room when I'm not even going to be here :/ Yes I've asked her about subletting my room & she won't go for it

    I'm stuck, any advice ??? Cheers~
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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    It sounds to me, throughout your description of this dilemma, like you're trying to have your cake & eat it too.

    I sympathise w/ the long-ass drive -- living in N TX, the first club I tried was in Witchita Falls & it was nearly 2hrs each way + cheaper/safer driving home every nite than living in club-owner-owned 'dancer housing'.

    Fact is, you can't support yourself in your current area/situation by dancing alone. Have you tried camming or any other adult-industry avenues? No vanilla job experience to fall back on?

    It really doesn't make much sense to pack all your shit, move back across the country, & then pack up all your shit again just to move back to your current area after saving up. You will just be coming back to the same problem unless you're planning to change up one of the current troublesome factors that's got you in this mess in the first place. Hotel expenses will add up, even w/ an Extended Stay-type setup. If the city you're travelling to is lucrative, can you not find a place there? If so, at least you would save on moving expenses since it's a much shorter distance than coming back east.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Also, a lock on your bedroom door. If your flatmates has issues with this just say "I need this to feel comfortable in this living arrangement". As for the rest, I don't have a miracle solution, it sounds as though you will just need to try a few of the options you've listed and make the best one work for you. BOL.
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    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    It sounds to me, throughout your description of this dilemma, like you're trying to have your cake & eat it too.

    I sympathise w/ the long-ass drive -- living in N TX, the first club I tried was in Witchita Falls & it was nearly 2hrs each way + cheaper/safer driving home every nite than living in club-owner-owned 'dancer housing'.

    Fact is, you can't support yourself in your current area/situation by dancing alone. Have you tried camming or any other adult-industry avenues? No vanilla job experience to fall back on?

    It really doesn't make much sense to pack all your shit, move back across the country, & then pack up all your shit again just to move back to your current area after saving up. You will just be coming back to the same problem unless you're planning to change up one of the current troublesome factors that's got you in this mess in the first place. Hotel expenses will add up, even w/ an Extended Stay-type setup. If the city you're travelling to is lucrative, can you not find a place there? If so, at least you would save on moving expenses since it's a much shorter distance than coming back east.
    I'm not 'trying to have my cake & eat it too" at all and I really don't appreciate the snarkiness that comes across in your reply. I'm simply wanting to better my situation for awhile. I don't want to move to whatever city I'll be working in bc I am happy here. I mean, really, don't most dancers on here give up their spot for awhile, travel & live out of motels on the road then return?! It's not unheard of. I can always get another roommate situation temporarily if need be. I just don't see the point of having to struggle & have to still pay for a place if I'm not even going to be here all that much. No, I don't have any other jobs to fall back on. My choice is dancing right now.
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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    ^^^^ this is exactly my point. You're in a bit of a financial bind right now, but don't seem willing to explore all your available options or compromise by giving smtg up. So far, you've listed your options as

    A) continue driving a ridiculous distance to dance which is eating up time + $$$ in more ways than one
    B) travel-dance
    C) move back cross-country only to move back, which will also be time-consuming & expensive.

    Travel-dancing is unreliable. Idk how much you've travelled to dance(& that's just an admission on my part, not snark, b4 you get yours in a twist) but that's why I don't suggest it if yoûre already on a limited budget.

    You also brought up the possibility of moving in your OP. That was your idea, not mine. So I suggested lopping off sm of the distance by moving to your current work area.

    If you want that badly to stay in your current location, & I don't think in any way that that's a bad thing, obviously you need to be doing smtg other than or alongside dancing. The only other practical option IMO is to relocate. Sry that's not what you want to hear, but you wouldn't have started this thread if dancing alone were cutting it.

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    I'm not trying to be snarky, but I have to agree with Aniela.

    You posted a thread a while back about travel dancing and it didn't seem to go well. I don't remember exactly why, but from past experience it doesn't seem like the idea of, travel dancing and then making a ton of money to plop into savings, is realistic. And, even if this does happen, you're just going to be in this bind again once your savings are drained.

    I also don't think, unless we're talking about a few months here (which it doesn't sound like your landlord is open to) going home to your parents for 2 weeks is going to make a big difference financially, and eventually you will be in the same situation as above, once those savings are drowned.

    I agree that dancers do go traveling for a bit to make money, but unless traveling is going to become a regular thing for you, i.e. traveling every weekend, I think you're attempting to use a short term solution to fix a permanent problem. The fact is you can't support yourself with dancing and live your current lifestyle, I know how much that sucks, but you need to come up with a long term solution to your problem, whether that's camming, modeling, phone sex, escorting, some kind of vanilla job, or a regular travel schedule.

    *edited. I seriously should just never post on my phone, my responses are always overflowing with typos.
    Last edited by audrey_k; 12-01-2014 at 09:10 AM.

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    Veteran Member DreamsInDigital's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    I don't think that anyone was trying to be rude here...

    Realistically, unless we're all misunderstanding the situation you've described, it looks like these are your options:

    1. Stay where you are and continue driving 90+ minutes to and from work
    2. Find a different job
    3. Move somewhere else permanently

    Moving across the country is wayyy more expensive than you think. I don't mean to sound discouraging, but I know because I just did it a couple years ago. If you plan to move across the country and still keep your apartment (and continue to pay for it), you're not saving any money. If you don't plan to keep it, you're looking at selling or putting most of your belongings in storage (in which case you will either have to re-purchase everything when you move back, probably at more expensive prices, OR plan to pay around $100/month to keep it all in a storage unit), and then spending several hundred dollars to ship many of the things you DO need to take with you across the country. Then, you'll either have to sell your car and spend several hundred more $$ on a plane ticket back east, or drive all the way across the country. (In which case you could try to dance along the way to recover some of your travel expenses.)

    What specifically is it that you like about where you live now? Maybe you should try to make a list of all those things, and then bring it back here to share. With all the experienced ladies on this board, I'm sure that someone would be able to suggest an alternative place to live that would have most of what you're looking for, and be more lucrative for dancing as well. Then maybe your next step could be to travel THERE to dance for a bit and see how you like it.

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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Thanks for your reply Dreams. I really like living here in this town bc I'm actually happy here. The people are cool & the scenery is amazing. Living on the coast is something I've always wanted my whole life & now I have it. I wasn't happy anywhere else I lived in the last 13 yrs. I moved here on a whim & some would agree that it was a crazy move but I on the other hand don't. If I'm unhappy somewhere I simply pick up & move. I can do this on the cheap bc I don't have many things. Just clothes & toiletries, make-up, etc. I'm a minimalist so if I did have to move from my current place I could do so easily just by putting it all in my trunk. I guess I forgot to include that in my thread. As far as the options you mentioned, yes I guess staying put here & saving up for another place without a roommate is prob smarter to do than give up what I have now.

    I can work back east where I'll be staying with family & I only thought it'd be a good idea simply bc of the fact I'd have no bills/rent to pay while there for 2 weeks. I'm not sure how the money is over there now but last year this time I did really well for myself & was able to save everything i made minus the miscelaneous things like going out to dinner, shopping, etc.

    I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not thrilled about having to commute that far every week when I could prob just save a little & hop on over to Vegas to work for a week or 2 & actually come home with something. The lodging costs there are cheap for me bc I choose to stay in the less glamourous hotels & I eat on the cheap as well & am very happy with that. I just think that it'd be smarter to not have to pay for a room here if I'm not going to be here (esp with the fact I'm not happy with my current roommate situation). When I return after the holidays, I'd have the option of doing the weekly motel thing here with decent rates & I could still either do the 90 minute commute OR go to Vegas ,Portland, or Phoenix for a few weeks until I make enough to get my own studio again.

    The driving across the country isn't a bother to me bc it's way cheaper than flying right now & I'll have my car with me. That way I can work along the way back here & while I'm there visiting.

    Does this still sound nuts?
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Can you not stay over night the city your club is in vs driving back each time? You said you were okay with inexpensive motels and this would save you time and money.
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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Can you not stay over night the city your club is in vs driving back each time? You said you were okay with inexpensive motels and this would save you time and money.
    No, bc in SF all of the lodging places are gonna be crazy expensive. I'd rather drive home to be in my own room/bed & save money than to cough up more money just to sleep there for a night or 2.
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraLynn View Post
    If you're going to do phoenix I would say do it while its cold because during the summertime it sucks and the clubs either stop hiring or get retardedly picky about hiring. i spent July until September there this year. There is very cheap lodging there just like Vegas so its not a bad option as far as traveling is concerned.

    If you're going to travel and want to keep your place I would say don't go as far out as the east coast because that could end up making you lose money and could potentially make you lose everything. You should continue doing surrounding areas like you have been doing. Vegas, phoenix, new mexico etc like you mentioned in your post above and just stay for a few nights to make your trip worthy. That's what I have been doing during my 3 hour commutes to nc.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I hope you figure it all out.
    yea I'll prob head back up to PDX soon, then work there a week or so, then return back home & pay what I owe for rent. It just sucks to have to fork out more lodging costs than what I already have to pay Well I was planning on visiting my family in ATL & in AL for Xmas so I was going out there anyways & was gonna work at that divey place I told you about that def has potential for $$$. I seem to have better luck in other places than this area anyways as far as money making goes.
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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Ugh! I'm seriously just wanting to just give up my room!!! The clubs I'm having to commute to aren't worth my time or gas getting there anymore I barely made my rent for this place this month. Traveling & living out of a motel wherever I'm working at seems like the best thing to do at this point until I can get on my feet & work a club 10 hrs away that's actually worth my time & energy. I refuse to get a vanilla job or anything else due to the fact that it's fucking pointless right now. Anyone else out there lived out of an extended stay type place?
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Yea I did it once before when I first moved here while looking for a place. It actually wasn't so bad. It's having your own space without roommates I've been researching it on here & felt normal about it once I read that alot of dancers have & still do this. It seriously makes more sense to do this than to just keep suffering & working dead end clubs.
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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    My Extended Stay experience was great, except for the fact that mgmt didn't give much of a shit abt the behaviour of their employees. I came back to my room one evening after a long day at school, hopped into bed for a nap, then turned the light on when I woke up & found a condom wrapper & recent … ahem … STAINS IN THE SHEETS that were not left there by yours truly front desk refused to send sm1 up to help change sheets or even drop them off, so I had to go down there & get them. Whoever was in my room also went thru my things & made off w/ a WWII family heirloom, which they had to break open the box to reach.

    Of all the hotels/motels I've stayed in, this is the only one I had smtg like that happen in. Mgmt brushed it off 'Oh well there's no way to know who it was for [insert random bs reason]' I would hope that's not typical but I still say, bring your own mini-safe for valuables.

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    Default Re: Would this be the right thing to do?

    Wow! That sucks dude Yea I don't have much for valuables. All I have is clothes & forever21 type jewelry LoL & shoes. I'd be making cash deposits more often for safety reasons also. I def don't think I'd want to do it forever but I seriously need to broaden my horizons quick. I've got the rest of this month to have my room & save from there so hopefully after my trip at the end of the week thru xmas I'll feel more confident & less stressed about my decisions Thanks to all who have chimed in on this thread & sorry for lashing out :p

    If anyone else has anything more to add regarding tips & money saving tips when traveling , I'd really appreciate it!
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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