Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Regular theft or overreaction?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    PDXXX
    Posts
    279
    Thanks
    1,828
    Thanked 1,167 Times in 220 Posts

    Default Regular theft or overreaction?

    I'm not sure whether this belongs here or in the newbies section, but since most of the newbies section appears to be audition-centric I'm posting here...

    So I've been dancing for about a month and a half now--long enough to get some regulars, yay! I had one come in tonight. He's not loaded, so what he does is tip me on stage, buys dances from me once in a while. I come over and chat with him whenever I get the chance but work the floor also since he can't afford all of my time. He's cool about it.

    So tonight, a girl who got hired yesterday started chatting him up and asked him for a lap dance. He says he politely declined, saying that he's planning on getting all his dances with me, and she said the same thing to me in the DR. THEN, she keeps coming over to him repeatedly, all night, and ends up pressuring him into a dance. For sure she knew that he was my regular. He wasn't calling her over, she was seeking him out.

    So I have two questions: do I have a right to be upset and if so, what do I do?

  2. #2
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,430
    Thanks
    2,070
    Thanked 1,896 Times in 746 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    I wouldn't call it theft but it's just plain rude.

    Sounds like she's either desperate and/or wanted to fuck the new girl over. Or maybe just you personally.

    You'll learn in the next year or so whether you actually did anything to bring it on. Club etiquette was not intuitive to me for a while so I made plenty of mistakes. Then vets retaliated by being rude in turn. Of course I thought they were assholes at the time, but within the year I figured out I was usually the asshole first. This is normal, don't sweat it. Just be willing to learn. Not by asking coworkers lots of questions, but observing.

    But she really could be desperate or rude, so I wouldn't overthink it too much. As for what to do, personally I'd just try to avoid her, and maintain a quiet DR persona. I've been doing this for eight years and still keep to myself until I've been somewhere long enough that coworkers warm up to me first.

  3. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to lol1337a For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    PDXXX
    Posts
    279
    Thanks
    1,828
    Thanked 1,167 Times in 220 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    This girl just started working at our club yesterday, so I can't fathom what I might have done to offend her already. I don't think she's new to stripping, her hustle is amazing...so I'm going with desperate/rude. I'll try to avoid her.

  5. #4
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,430
    Thanks
    2,070
    Thanked 1,896 Times in 746 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    Missed the 'just got hired' part, sorry!

    But yeah, avoidance seems the best route here.
    Last edited by lol1337a; 12-06-2014 at 04:34 AM.

  6. #5
    Veteran Member Warped's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Palm Beach County
    Posts
    302
    Thanks
    142
    Thanked 453 Times in 150 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    If a dancer is not actively sitting with a customer I consider them fair game. However, if someone says they are specifically waiting on another girl I usually won't waste my time.

  7. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Warped For This Useful Post:


  8. #6
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    Yeah she seems like a bold snake or a serious opportunist.

    Your regular may had all intentions of only dancing with you but sometimes being enticed by other dancers they can change their mind. This is why you can't leave them alone if they still have money to spend. she may have picked up on the vibe he was into her and saw the opportunity to get some dances.

    Or your regular may have been playing you both to see who would compete for him.

    If I was you I'd make sure to know exactly when he plans to visit, have him sit with you first, then have him spend as much as possible on you so there's nothing or not much left for other girls if they do try cutting in on your time with this regular customer you have.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

  9. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  10. #7
    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,911
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked 6,402 Times in 1,573 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    Many regulars do dances with multiple girls, usually after they've spent money on their main girl. Almost every regular I've had spent most of his money on me but still did the occasional dance with someone else. Your best bet is to bleed him dry asap and after that it's whatever. That said it was rude of her. I don't know why she would continue to keep bothering him if he's waiting on someone else. Sounds like it might be a newbie move on her part, or she's just a desperate bitch.

  11. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to wednesday86 For This Useful Post:


  12. #8
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Omicron Persei 8
    Posts
    4,508
    Thanks
    12,529
    Thanked 13,934 Times in 3,720 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    I'm gonna be the black sheep here and say that he was fair game since he did not have a girl on his lap.

    If another girl pressured my regular into dances... well, I'd tell him to say no next time if it's something he doesn't want, but I wouldn't be mad at the girl, unless I knew she didn't like me and was doing it out of spite.

    Personally though, if someone says they are waiting for another girl, I don't come back unless it's obvious that the girl is not coming over (like, if the guy has been sitting there for half an hour and the girl is blatantly walking past him).
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

  13. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Selina M For This Useful Post:


  14. #9
    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    PDXXX
    Posts
    279
    Thanks
    1,828
    Thanked 1,167 Times in 220 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    Y'all have a good point. I'll be more aggressive/assertive about bleeding customers dry before leaving them to the tender mercies of other dancers. Maybe this was more a newbie error on my part than anything...

    Still not pleased with the girl, but at least I learned something!

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Miss_Red For This Useful Post:


  16. #10
    Veteran Member SkyeSabrina's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2013
    Location
    BFE
    Posts
    459
    Thanks
    4,779
    Thanked 750 Times in 257 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    I used to have this issue with a girl at my old club, but she would go after every customer I talked to as soon as I would walk away from them, every time, even if it was to walk to the bar for a drink or take a bathroom break. Soon I learned that if I could try to talk them into getting dances with me before I would have to leave them (to go on stage, etc) then it cut this down quite a bit (ex: "Baby you should whisk me away to the lap dance area and let me strip for your eyes only *eyelash bat*). I also would attempt to talk them into them to sit stage side while I performed so that I could keep an eye on them, get some tips out of them and they would be less likely to be pulled away (there's a rule that girls can't try to hustle the tip rail in my club). If that doesn't work for me, I move on to the next one and come back later on.

    EDIT: I've found the best way to look at it is that they are the club's regulars. Men come into the strip club for variety.
    Last edited by SkyeSabrina; 12-09-2014 at 04:41 PM.

  17. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SkyeSabrina For This Useful Post:


  18. #11
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    2,078
    Thanks
    4,898
    Thanked 2,463 Times in 1,135 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    She cut your grass, it happens. If you were not with the customer at the time, then it's not "theft". It's bad dancer etiquette to harass another girl's regular.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

  19. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to OliveJardin For This Useful Post:


  20. #12
    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Look behind you....
    Posts
    3,406
    Thanks
    5,155
    Thanked 4,132 Times in 1,638 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    ^ The other dancer cut her grass.... but the OP left the garden gate open...
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




  21. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Flickdreams For This Useful Post:


  22. #13
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Enceladus
    Posts
    1,315
    Thanks
    1,145
    Thanked 1,567 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    It may be poor dancer etiquette, but the regular is at fault too, imho. I doubt this newbie was holding a knife to his throat when he agreed to a lap dance. "She harassed me" sounds like a poor excuse for his inability to stay firm in his stance.

  23. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MyButter For This Useful Post:


  24. #14
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    I'm gonna be the black sheep here and say that he was fair game since he did not have a girl on his lap.

    If another girl pressured my regular into dances... well, I'd tell him to say no next time if it's something he doesn't want, but I wouldn't be mad at the girl, unless I knew she didn't like me and was doing it out of spite.

    Personally though, if someone says they are waiting for another girl, I don't come back unless it's obvious that the girl is not coming over (like, if the guy has been sitting there for half an hour and the girl is blatantly walking past him).
    Agree with all of this. I think it's rude as hell to keep harassing customers who have already told you they didn't want to spend on you or were specifically waiting for someone else. But if this guy was really going to spend all his money on you, why wasn't he doing it already? You say she kept coming over, repeatedly, all night.... When was he planning to give you that money? If he hated her attention so much, why not call you over and go get some dances with you to get her out of his hair? I know you said he's not loaded so doesn't try to monopolize your time, but he could call you over for a dance or two when she's getting obnoxious, not sit on his money all night and then end up forking it over to someone else.

    Honestly, if this guy kept saying he was gonna spend on you but was never actually doing it, the girl may have just thought that was a line and kept going back to hustle him out of his "lie." That's not really much different than continuing to work on guys who say "they don't have any money" or "I'm just gonna relax awhile." If all physical evidence does not back up his excuse, why would she have any reason to believe he was "truly" off-the-table? It's not necessarily a smart hustle to waste time on guys like that, but understandable for newbies.

    Honestly, your regular doesn't seem like he was telling the whole story. I find it difficult to believe that a guy who is used to sitting around a club the entire night is not used to turning down girls one after the other. Sometimes the reality is that they do actually reach a point where they decide "why not" and go spend on other girls, but lie about the reason in order to not "cause drama." I would just ignore the girl, brush it off, and either add more pressure to this regular to spend on you earlier in the night or keep giving him substandard attention if he's going to start lessening the money he spends on you. It's not necessarily something to get pissed over, but just adjust your expectations and the amount of attention a customer receives accordingly. All regulars have a shelf-life.
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 12-07-2014 at 04:06 PM.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






  25. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  26. #15
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    980
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 1,287 Times in 510 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    even if you do lose him, a couple stage tips and dances "once in a while"?? doesn't sound like a regular to me. def not someone i would fight over,

    why are you going to chat with him " every chance you get" if he only gets the occasional dance. learn from this girl and talk to every guy that's free and come back later once youve talked to anybody.

    customers dont belong to anyone. and this one seems like its not even worth caring about. sounds like a real time waster imo.

  27. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to charlotte. For This Useful Post:


  28. #16
    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    PDXXX
    Posts
    279
    Thanks
    1,828
    Thanked 1,167 Times in 220 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    I wish I worked at your club, Charlotte. We're a dive. I do talk to every guy that's free, all 5-6 of them on average.

  29. #17
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    1,529
    Thanks
    2,260
    Thanked 2,276 Times in 730 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    NO, you don't have a right to be upset. You're being petty, greedy and childish. So you want everyone to leave this guy alone while you work the rest of the floor? I don't think so. Anyone is game. At the end of the day he chose to give her money. She is there to collect it, don't say shit to her if anything take it up with your "regular."

    Just wanna add that I've actually met men who end up avoiding coming in because a girl who thinks he is her regular acts like this and he can't enjoy himself and get to know other dancers because of that. I most recently saw a girl like this escorted away from a table for this!

    Men are as full of shit as we are. You know how many other girls "regulars" I dance for? They'll follow me and quickly usher me to the back for a dance or two while their fave is on stage haha Do I go rub it in the other girls face? no! But trust me its not just you he wants.

  30. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to lokikola For This Useful Post:


  31. #18
    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    PDXXX
    Posts
    279
    Thanks
    1,828
    Thanked 1,167 Times in 220 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    lokikola: I'm sorry, I missed the part of my original post where I described reacting in any way. I thought I was asking a question on stripper etiquette and what I should do in the future.

    I really appreciate all the actually helpful feedback: I've learned a lot from this thread.

  32. #19
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    3,291
    Thanks
    6,920
    Thanked 5,854 Times in 2,242 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    ^^^^ you did ask in your OP whether you should be upset over it. The fact that you posted abt this incident then asked that question suggests you were bothered by the other dancer's behaviour. Loki's response is spot-on, as well as the others saying that once you leave a customer's side, that customer is up for grabs.

    Sounds like you need to either be more aggressive in your hustle or just toss this territorial attitude. No question that the other dancer was being damn rude if she was pestering him while you were sitting w/ him, but he also appears to be little more than a step above being a passive-occasionally-spendy timewaster. He's really not worth getting defencive over if he really only spends on you once in a while, & an over-possessive vibe will either drive him to waste your time more by dangling 'once in a while dances' in front of you for his own kicks, or just plain drive him away.

  33. #20
    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    PDXXX
    Posts
    279
    Thanks
    1,828
    Thanked 1,167 Times in 220 Posts

    Default Re: Regular theft or overreaction?

    That's fair. I felt like loki's tone was unnecessarily harsh, but I'm definitely hearing loud and clear in this thread that I need to up my hustle and adjust my expectations.

    As a followup: no drama occurred between me and the other dancer and we're on decent terms.

Similar Threads

  1. Card Theft
    By lilmisssunshine in forum Dollar Den
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 11-19-2009, 03:33 PM
  2. ID Theft
    By Jillian in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-03-2006, 09:33 PM
  3. Theft of a Regular
    By DSUsb19 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 01-28-2005, 05:51 AM
  4. Theft Charges
    By tRoUbLeMaKeR in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 08-16-2004, 11:02 AM
  5. Identity theft???
    By mercedez in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 06-25-2004, 12:48 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •