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Thread: Can't dance without getting drunk

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    Default Can't dance without getting drunk

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    Last edited by gypsy1; 12-18-2015 at 05:27 PM.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I always need to have a nice buzz in order to hustle smoothly but that's just me. I find it very normal in all the places I've worked, most of the girls are drunk if not just buzzed. The only reason I don't drink more at work is bc I have to commute 30-40 mins away & it's not worth a DUI if I got caught. Liquid courage is normal for some people
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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    If you can't do it sober -- dancing or anything else, for that matter -- then you should look for another line of work.

    'liquid courage' can become a slippery slope, fast. One or two 'loosen up' shots becomes three or more bc you build a physical tolerance + a psychological dependency 'OMG I haaaaaaave to be drunk or I totally can't make $$$'

    It's not good for your mind or for your body to be getting piss-drunk every shift. There's a thread around here sm where that I can't seem to find atm, asking dancers around age 30 & older how their bodies hold up & if they are doing anything differently as they age -- a HUGE recurring thing in that thread is the toll yrs of drinking at work takes on your body. There's also threads like

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    If you do not like this job, I don't think you should do it. You have to have fun in order to make decent money. I understand the seeming need to be buzzed, I'm often the same way, but if you are getting drunk and destroying your body for house fee only to leave when you make it, this is not the job for you. If you are going to kill your liver, at least make sure to go home with a few hundred dollars, no?

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    It's a slippery slope, my friend. I don't blame or judge you, because I can relate somewhat. I have worked shifts 100% sober, but I don't make as much money. It's so hard to get "in the zone' when I don't drink. So having just one drink in the beginning of your night should be okay. It kind of gets the ball rolling. HOWEVER, relying on alcohol in order to work will inevitably cause a dependence on it which could lead to alcoholism. So be careful!

    If you feel like you have to get completely drunk, not just slightly buzzed, then stripping is a bad idea for you. Sorry to be blunt.
    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Also, one drink a night is considered moderate drinking. If you are drinking 3, 4, 5+ drinks, every night, that is drinking heavily and can lead to pretty deep health issues of which alcoholism is only the tip of the iceberg.

    EDITED FOR SOURCE: http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-hea...binge-drinking
    Last edited by NightGoddess; 12-09-2014 at 05:38 PM.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I agree with everyone here however if you are in fact finding it hard to dance & be sober then you can try this trick I always do before work. I'll drink an energy drink or coffee & when I hit the floor I'm usually really hyper & talkative and more comfy hustling for dances or just talking to custys. I don't know why but I can drink a Monster & feel buzzed almost LoL ... It's almost a placebo effect but it works for me bc then I just lie to the guys & say oooh I'm really buzzed tonight, let's go have some fun in the vip rooms Sometimes it works~ Good Luck!
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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Been there, done that. Stop. Find a way to up your confidence and just stop the booze. I spent about 9 months in a pretty dark place because of alcohol. It'll help you deal with whatever insecurities you deal with but its a nightly bandaid that turns into real everyday love handles and gut and thats just going to tear you down even more so you'll drink more then gain more and the vicious cycle goes on and on. Just stop and even if you have to take sometime off, work somewhere else, just leave your comfort zone and fix this before it gets worse.

    Quote Originally Posted by NightGoddess View Post
    Also, one drink a night is considered moderate drinking. If you are drinking 3, 4, 5+ drinks, every night, that is drinking heavily and can lead to pretty deep health issues of which alcoholism is only the tip of the iceberg.
    Also, if she is only having one drink a night or up to three she is not a binge drinker, BUT that doesn't clear her from alcoholism. That depends how many drinks she is having a week, which if she works full-time at the club its probably enough to be considered an alcoholic.

    I just want to add that one of the questions that you'll ALWAYS find on an AA quiz or any other organizations questionnaires about your drinking is something along the lines of:
    Do you need a drink to get yourself started?
    For many of you this us this is a yes. This is a problem. Having to throw back a shot before getting to work at the club is like if everyone else who worked a 9 to 5 sat down at their desk and busted out their flask right away before teaching/doing paperwork/whatever they do.
    I think one of the biggest problems when it comes to alcoholism is denial. Its the downplaying of what it really is. You have to acknowledge there is a problem before you can try to help yourself. Saying that a couple drinks before getting started is no big deal is belittling a big battle. It might be common but its still serious and a problem.
    Last edited by lokikola; 12-09-2014 at 03:03 AM.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I enjoyed drinking a lot when I worked and probably will continue to do so when I go back. The keyword in that sentence, however, was "enjoy." I have never felt the need to drink on the job, and would probably quit in a heartbeat if I ever began to feel that way because it means I can't actually do this job.

    No judgment, but you really need to reconsider this line of work if you feel the need to be intoxicated just to make house.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    i am one of the over 30's who drank profusely for years at work. I haven't had a drink in 2years and I havent drank at work for 3yrs (or thereabouts). I couldn't stop by myself and I used the fellowship programs for support. Feel free to PM me for more info on this (or anyone else reading with similar issues who would like to hear my experience/thoughts).

    It is also my belief that even if you stop dancing these issues which you self treated with alcohol are still lurking under the surface.

    Like Loki I suffered from massive health consequences not limited to just looks eroding. I found it fucking tough to stop- and for me, self imposed solutions such, one -2 drinks, no shots, a glass of water in between, champagne only, spirits only, no drinking after a certain hour, only drink when booked for an hour, customer bought drinks only..... were absolutely no solution. If I had a bad enough experience or hangover I may have stopped for a week or two (or a day) but I eventually walked myself back to the bar.

    The adjustment period was hard, but there is no question that I am making more money, am more professional, not to mention I have a hot body (and the energy to keep working on it instead of having to sleep up to the last minute to make my next shift).

    It seems as though you are in a cycle which self perpetuates and looks very familar to me... its the feelings and emotions that come up that support are needed for... stopping drinking alone wont address that (but it is an excellent start! ) so I suggest looking at the stuff you are using alcohol to distract/numb yourself from with the help of support groups, therapist, NLP practitioner, meditation + yoga, church....etc.

    Thankyou for facing up and sharing.
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    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy1 View Post
    So I thought switching to night shift would solve all of my $$$ problems. Basically I can't approach customers without being pretty drunk.
    This is pretty common, and if you're not feeling up to talking to these guys it's hard to approach them in general. My suggestion is to work in a juice bar if you've got them in your area...they're usually boring IMO but you can work on your hustle skills there without having to drink.

    Or maybe your current club isn't good enough. There were times I would go to one club and end up drinking out of boredom or the customers were just shit, and then I'd switch to another club and not drink at all because it was busier, more hustle and less time to drink, or just didn't feel like it because the customers weren't shit.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Quote Originally Posted by Starling View Post
    My suggestion is to work in a juice bar if you've got them in your area...they're usually boring IMO but you can work on your hustle skills there without having to drink.
    This is actually a great suggestion that I wouldn't have thought of!
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I was in that situation before, that's what I had to do to stop drinking at work. And it was bad because I like to drink. If girls drink on the job it doesn't necessarily mean having to find another line of work (and who are we kidding, what other job would yield instant quick cash and a lot of it), but look for a way to curb the issue.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    When you word it that way, it does seem kinda crass on my end to simply say "find another job." It just tends to be my fallback advice because there are so many different reasons for substance abuse. Some times it's just that we enjoy being intoxicated and do it out of boredom or just get used to doing it frequently because it's available (which seems to be our situation.) In a lot more cases, there's some kind of underlying problem that you are self-medicating. I probably couldn't count the girls I've seen come and go that HAD to be drunk/high because they couldn't deal with something, whether it be their home life or this job, and I don't feel like this is a healthy environment for you to be in if you're not at least trying to get help for the problem.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Finding another job is not a wrong answer. Sometimes it has to be that way depending on the individual's situation like you said above, and in some cases the dancer really does need to find another job or be put out of their misery. You know how many girls I have to deal with that have a drug problem and would prefer out of my hair? lol

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Be careful. Dangerous things can happen when you get drunk at work. I learned this lesson the hard way and I will never have anything more than 2 drinks during an entire shift.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy1 View Post
    So I thought switching to night shift would solve all of my $$$ problems. Basically I can't approach customers without being pretty drunk.

    Is this just not the job for me?

    I sit around for hours wondering why I thought I had the balls to do this and as soon as I make the house fee I leave.
    ^After you force yourself to work a few nights sober, you will realize it's possible and enjoy not wasting the next day hungover. If it's impossible for you to work sober or just have one or two atm, maybe you are burnt out and need a few weeks off to recover. We all burn out, it's a very stressful job at times and there's no shame in feeling this way.

    It helps to have an internal script, a dialogue that you repeat with every customer. Then when you approach a customer you will have a plan of attack (there are great suggestions in Hustle Hut on "what to say"). Also, the earlier on in the night you speak to someone, the easier it will be to speak to others when the club is busier (even if they seem like a time waster or are disinterested-think of them as a way to warm you up for the night. Just don't talk to them for too if they decline the offer to dance with you ).

    Have you tried NLP coaching? I'm interested in trying this myself. I heard a coach talking to another girl at my club about this exact same issue. She said something along the lines of, "it will help you to pin-point what you gain, feel and project from being drunk and help you to recreate that confidence naturally".
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    Also, if she is only having one drink a night or up to three she is not a binge drinker
    That's... that's not what I said... at all...


    I didn't just pull that information out of my asshole. Please, feel free to read my source: http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-hea...binge-drinking

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    On a strictly professional level (i.e. this is work, not a party), one of the biggest concerns here is that if you need to drink to approach customers, that means you aren't developing the sales skills necessary to make this job sustainable for you in the long run (and highly profitable). Whenever you stop drinking, you'll have to go through feeling like a newbie all over again. It's best to get this stage out of the way in the beginning! Once you learn how to consciously hustle customers on a professional level, you'll realize that abstaining from alcohol gives you an edge over both your coworkers and the customers themselves. You'll also avoid wasting time at the beginning of your shift (the second you hit the floor, you'll start working rather than drinking), and wasting money for cabs or spending time at the end of the night sobering up.

    For the first year I danced, I was too terrified to approach many people. I also just didn't understand the dynamics of the club environment, how to make conversation with customers, how to lead the conversation towards a sale, etc. I spent most of my time sitting at the bar sipping water with red splotches of anxiety all over my neck (thankfully, strip clubs are dark!). The vast majority of us go through varying degrees of this stage - some girls take years to come out of their shells, and some girls find the transition to be far easier. But you have to start somewhere. And starting by throwing back a couple of shots is hardly the way to go about taking this job seriously!

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I drink at work but I've also done it completely sober. I prefer the buzz. I agree it is a very slippery slope, and you will build tolerance. At this point in time I don't want or feel the need to change, as I'm confident that I trust myself and I know my limits. You seem worried about it though, and if you at all feel that something is a problem, you need to work on it immediately.

    No one can tell you the job isn't for you BUT YOU. You do not have to ask others if it is or isn't. You said your best day was sober, and you say you really like the job. Now you know you can do it. If you want to give up alcohol at work, do it. We've all had our pacifiers taken from us, and we all still lived to tell the tale. If you decide you aren't comfortable staying sober (which is what you want), there's many other jobs to choose from. Good luck

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    Just thought I'd point out something that's only just occurred to me:

    Even for us ladies who don't have any psychological dependencies (which can develop if we continue to indulge the habit), we are building physical dependency. Even if we are not mentally or emotionally addicted, we are leaving ourselves very open to physiological addiction. Long term, heavy/binge drinking and subsequent attempts to sober up can result in (no joke) alcohol withdrawal syndrome, of which "the DTs" are a symptom. In severe cases, AWS can kill you.

    Certainly not meaning to scare anyone or make the issue at hand bigger than it is, but I just wanted to put that out there as a warning while we are having this discussion. If you're a heavy drinker who's been at it for a while and thinking of getting sober, please talk to your doctor before trying to detox at home.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I admit I've gotten drunk before to work...but I make more, can work longer and burn out less often sober. Not to mention drinking every night will eventually take its toll on your appearance. You need to learn to relax and be confident without alcohol. Just think of this: We'll all be dead soon so don't take yourself or your customers too seriously. Just have fun and treat work like a game.

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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I'd say be careful with intoxication on the job because some men can sense when you're inebriated and see this as opportunity to take advantage of you.

    I put strict filters on who I dance for but the times I drank too much alcohol at work I had a harder time sifting out the unsavory guys. The ones who know you're drunk and try to short you on money or touch inappropriately. And ultimately had more problems like feeling and looking hungover and too tired to work the next day or not having as much money as I should have.
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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I've worked at nice clubs and gross ones, I drank a lot at the gross ones. Like 20+ shots a night. My physical tolerance quickly grew and I wasn't even drunk at times. I developed bad ulcers and almost bled to death because of this. My pulse went up to 183 and I ended up vomiting sinkfulls of blood and passing out. I had to get hospitalized, have cardiac meds pushed, and went under anesthesia to stop the bleeding. I had two blood transfusions and was told that waiting another twelve hours would have been fatal. It was humiliating and they knew exactly what happened. The only way to cause that much damage without alcohol is drinking bleach. I was stuck in the ER for hours because the doctor refused to send me anywhere but the ICU. I had to cross about twenty activities that could kill me off my bucket list and lifting over thirty pounds can literally kill me. I have to monitor what I eat and drink every day. I have frequent, expensive follow ups and will likely have to have a few surgeries. I have to take meds every day for the rest of my life. Take from this what you will, maybe dancing at a nicer club where people are easier to deal with would be better.Maybe camming would be a good option, many cammers with social anxiety are top earners. Please just be careful.
    Last edited by SweetJulia; 12-11-2014 at 10:10 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?


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    Default Re: Can't dance without getting drunk

    I was never a drinker at work but I did used to do coke. It sucked because I'd go from Peppy Penny to Connie the Cunt as soon as the high wore off. Also like with alcohol my tolerance built up. I finally stopped when I overdosed in 2007. Now I have 7 years clean.
    If you can control your drinking there's nothing wrong with having a couple at work. Just learn to be aware of your tolerance and surroundings. Also never leave your drinks unattended, blah blah. All the After School special common sense.
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