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Thread: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

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    Default Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    So today at the club, long story short, a beautiful dancer came and talked to me for about 30 minutes. We had so many laughs and it was a great conversation. She did not even once ask for a dance. She even invited me to meet her outside the club. So after a longtime, she finally told me that she had leave now. I immediately asked her for a dance, and she agreed. However, here's what makes me wonder a bit. When I asked her for a dance, she seems a bit surprised and caught off guard. It makes me wonder, why did she not ask me for a dance? So my question is, is it possible for a girl to just want to be friends with a guy in a club? I feel like I kinda messed up our friendship when I asked her for a dance, because I turned myself into just another customer. Am I right in thinking this way? any help is appreciated. Thanks.
    Last edited by Dallasjameswilliams; 12-14-2014 at 09:11 PM.

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    ...VERY unlikely

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    There's a couple of the blues that I've me in person and they've been super chill to hang out with. I think if boundaries are clearly discussed there can be friendship.
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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    Possible, yes. But the odds are against you She could be using more of a friends hustle (I've done it), genuinely be interested, or be planning to rob you out of the club. Hopefully, it's one of the first two. I have made a few friends over the years and dated two guys, but that's out of HOW many customers?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    All the possibilities I can see (& in no particular order of likelihood):

    -- didn't ask for dances bc she was either in a 'not in the mood to work to hard' state of mind; a not-too-bright new girl who forgot she was there to make a living rather than socialise. Also possibly working a VERY slow & subtle 'friends' hustle.

    -- OTC invite bc she actually did like you; was planning to rob you as already suggested; or again, is thinking w/ her vagina rather than her bank acct & is naïve enough to assume from a single 30min convo that you are completely safe & would NVR dream of trying to pull a fast one on HER. This last one isn't at all meant to insult you OP, just mentioning it bc I have seen a few girls over the yrs who really didn't have half the brains they were born w/ when it came to their personal safety.

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    djw: if you don't mind hearing a customer perspective, I know this is possible, since I've always had girls who come sit at my table with me between their customers (I do buy them drinks, which is part of the motivation), and I have made a small number of real friendships that have lasted years past her retirement from dancing.

    That said, across both customer boards and this board, I've seen a zillion inquiries of this sort. This sort of interaction is not all that uncommon. What's incredibly uncommon is that it leads to a "real" OTC friendship. There's a zillion other explanations for it -- she was tired and you were a safe respite, she just made bank and is coasting the rest of her night, her whale is coming in in 2 hours and she wants a safe fun customer to fill in the time until he gets there (no reason to put up with bad customers if she's going to be making $2000 tonight). And, let's face it, you're intrigued and your heart is pounding about the possibilities a bit, so much so that you posted about it on an internet board, so you will be going back. Invitations to meet outside the club are, 99.9% of the time, an extension of her sales pitch -- it might just be hard to recognize. Just don't underestimate how much better the girls are than you at playing this game -- including the fact that she KNEW you'd be asking her for a dance when she excused herself, and knows to act "surprised" at the end to really impress upon you the genuine real nature of your special connection . My guess is that if she spends 30 minutes with you for nothing, she might genuinely have liked you, you were respectful, the conversation was interesting, etc., and you may well continue to enjoy this bonus treatment from her as long as you act like a customer. I'd just be very cautious about assuming anything more at this point. But that's okay, no reason not to totally enjoy it for what it is

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    Most likely she was either a newb who doesn't know better (I see a lot of newbie dancers who talk to customers all night for free) or she was tired and wanted to look busy/have a drink/relax and you made her feel comfortable enough to chill with you. If you really want to "test" your "friendship" give her your # and see if she legit tries to hang out with you otc. Some girls I've noticed keep a little group of guy friends on their phones that are handy for car rides, cash loans, help moving, late night snack and booze runs, etc.

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    Even if she hangs (no pay) OTC or ITC, assume it's a "friend hustle" until it's clearly not. I've gone through it, gotten one or two lifetime friends from the game, but usually there's an angle.

    A key way to tell (if you get far enough in) is if she's "never with her phone" when you need to chat/etc. but always has it when you're together (let's face it, what dancer-age woman isn't always snapping or texting or FBing now?)

    Assume that she's compartmentalized, you're "customer plus" compartment, maybe something more, maybe a quick tap for cash...

    I am coming to the realization that I may have gotten friend hustled by someone I had discussed (at length) doing a business with over 2 years. Still hoping it isn't, but as she prepares to pay off the house she bought from me, I notice the attention in other areas (non sex...we never went there) has changed. Could be extra busy, could be end of hustle.

    Unfortunately...until you KNOW you never know....and you will never KNOW because the best dancers make "always on" look easy.

    I realized with the lady mentioned above, what I hate about here (that I may have gotten played without realizing it) is why I love her and want her in this business (because she makes on look easy and can handle our talent/team the way she hustles me. It comes w the territory.

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    I'm friends with a few customers. A few out of how many thousand customers? After how many drinks and VIPs? They are my unicorns (or I'm their's). We keep each other happy, but we both have our motives and both get what we are looking for.

    How many times IRL has a random person you have just met, become an instant friend? Any relationship takes time to develop and we can't tell you where this one is going because we aren't her. If you liked her, keep going back to her. Be respectful, buy her drinks, toss in dances, and enjoy your time together. Over time you will see where it goes.

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    Another customer POV here, don't over think it and just enjoy it for now, as others have said it could be a hustle or something else but any and all relationships take time to build. Keep being yourself and let the chips fall where they may as you never know what is real or not in the club, the dancers are at work and trying to pay the bills. Sometimes friendshio happens, but most times it is probably just that you are a easy customer to deal with, that isn't a bad thing either as that means she will treat you well as long as you keep up the good behavior.

    A few dancers I know and talk to have said it really depends on a number of things but talking to them like real people, not being a drunken idiot, and being a gentleman makes a big difference, above all tip them and if theres no one else at "perverts row" to go keep them company as they dance if you like the dancer on stage.

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    sometimes the most impossible balance is what to do when you become true friends with a dancer the two of you have to have a frank conversation about do you still tip when you come in the club are they your who's who do you just hang with each other and there's no money game outside of the club and a lot easier than inside and the best thing is simple open honest communication

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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    ^ I have friends who still tip, money can still be part of the mix IMO.
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    Default Re: Is it possible for a dancer to just want to be friends with a customer?

    Oh its very definitely can be and in all of my dance with friendships except for one it is

    and for the record in that one relationship she suggested I stop tipping

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