And I don't know what to think about it all.
I finally went into the club close to my house...I was there from 7pm-2am, and after tip out I took home about $100. Everyone else was complaining how dead and terrible it was tonight, so I'm hoping that's not the $$ I'll be making on a regular basis. Not many people could believe I was a newbie to the club -- I had my look solidly pieced together and I was not entirely uncomfortable waltzing about to interact with customers. That could be thanks to a few drinks...or more than a few. Jesus, I had a bajillion drinks I think! It felt like everyone I sat with bought me one. eek. But I didn't feel drunk coming home, or at the end of my shift. The exhaustion was all my brain could understand. I am naturally an introvert, so being that bubbly & fun character to every. single. person. I met was a bit overwhelming. It's only my first day though, right? I could get used to it....I'm just not sure what I'm willing to sacrifice in terms of my OTC personality.
I am not new to the industry. I was an escort and prior to stripping, a bodyrub babe. Sooooo for me $100, for all the ass-kissing I did, is peanuts. I'm just hoping I can learn to hustle, and learn to manage these late hours, and find the right nights for me to bank. Ugh. I put myself in the club because I wanted some challenge and excitement, but the party atmosphere is starting to make me question whether I want to stay...another thing is, for a long time I really romanticized the work. I would go in and see these flawless strippers and tell myself, "I want to be that confident! that seductive! that charming!" I planned my next few years on working in the sex industry but I'm getting majorly disillusioned. Probably the result of starting 3 years ago...I'm just a baby though, 19 years old, if I wanted to I could stick around for a looooong time.
Again, I reiterate...I hope the next few days are promising. I am questioning a lot right now, and maybe I'm just too tired and stressed out to be making such dramatic statements. ALSO they let me skip stage for my first shift! I am not as nervous at the idea of stage dancing now as I assumed I would be, except I know I'll look like a fool nonetheless. Ha.
Thanks for reading...it's nice to just unwind this way. I better hit the sack hard.![]()



...or more than a few. Jesus, I had a bajillion drinks I think! It felt like everyone I sat with bought me one. eek. But I didn't feel drunk coming home, or at the end of my shift. The exhaustion was all my brain could understand. I am naturally an introvert, so being that bubbly & fun character to every. single. person. I met was a bit overwhelming. It's only my first day though, right? I could get used to it....I'm just not sure what I'm willing to sacrifice in terms of my OTC personality.
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