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Thread: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

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    Senior Member Ms.Belle's Avatar
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    Default Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    ^^^ unfortunately, it sounds like somebody at this club has attempted a 'pre-emptive strike' to incentivize you to leave the club. Technically speaking, there's probably nothing 'illegal' about the club bartender disclosing your personal information. From the clubowner's point of view, from a 'management' standpoint your leaving the club would probably make life easier where discontent among other dancers is concerned. Also from the clubowner's 'financial' standpoint, if you are so far above the norm for club dancers that customers are waiting in line to buy VIP's / private dances from you rather than buying VIP's / private dances from other dancers, the club's total revenues might actually increase after you are gone.

    Based on personal privacy and potential 'personal safety' concerns, as well as the apparent 'handwriting on the wall' / lack of clubowner support, if it were me I'd GTFO as soon as possible.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    I realise it's not likely, but I would wonder if there were sm legal way of getting this taken care of. That slag is putting your safety at serious risk by spreading around your real-life info.

    What a sanctimonious cunt, trying to act 'virtuous' like that in a SC of all places. You've been on the job for more than a wk, you fkng know better I am so angry for you OP!

    Also, if she is really such a high earner, I would think the club would want to keep her around rather than lose her over sm holier-than-thou POS bartender.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Also, if she is really such a high earner, I would think the club would want to keep her around rather than lose her over sm holier-than-thou POS bartender.
    Again pure speculation, but this may NOT be the case. Not wanting to 'blow my own horn', but I've occasionally been in club situations where my own 'popularity' has created dressing room 'drama' which became problematic for the club. Additionally, the willingness of club customers to wait in line to buy private dances from me, while at the same time NOT buying any private dances from other girls, actually limited the total number of private dances sold thus total club 'cut' of those private dance sales. Fortunately, as a travelling dancer, both the clubowner and the house dancers knew that I would be moving on at the end of the week ... but that's not the case for the OP.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    ^^^^ I see your point. Thnx for clarifying

    That absolutely makes sense. I was thinking, 'if she is really that popular, then that's guaranteed income, & who in their right mind would fk w/ that … ' but SCs are not always run by ppl w/ any real longterm business sense.

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    As a former stripper, dealt with jealousy before in small clubs with just 30 girls to big clubs in Dallas with 200 dancing on the night shift. NOBODY ever wanted to dance on the other stages when I was on. I won them all over. Even though it has been many many years, still friends if not best friends with some of them.

    You have to win the other dancers & employees over.

    You got to be more calculating than she is. You got to win the loyalty of the other employees, then they will have your back & run her off.

    Tip out the house mom, the dj more than normal. She doesn't tip them out, they will want to keep you around more so than her. Smile, compliment them.

    A bartender who thinks that way is a danger to ALL the dancers.

    You got a big spender only in there for a day or two as in not a regular, then pull another dancer in to double team him & help her make more money & him a better time. Always be super nice to all the other dancers, win them over with charm. Act more like a team & work more together. Got a good spender, get him to go to the stage & tip another dancer $20 - $30 ones. Throw in $20 of your own money, it is a cheap price to pay. This might get other patrons to tip her too. Helping her make more money. Helping the club atmosphere to be a money making one for ALL the performers. You will be surprised at how much more money you will make too.

    Get your customers to tip the waitresses more. Smile & guilt the guys into it a bit. Not only will you win them over, but soon they will be bringing all the high rollers to you too. Once they do that, tip them out nicely for it.

    After you laid the ground work, then talk about what she is doing in the dressing room. How you are concerned that she might be giving out personal information on them too. It won't be but a week or two, they will be bitching her out for you & running her off. Her tips will run dry. It works, I've done it many of times.

    When you help others make more money, they quickly become loyal & protective of you. Plus you are setting a good example & soon every girl in there is making more money by working together instead of against each other.

    Going to the manager RARELY does any good. Most are ineffective. When was the last time a manager brought any girl a high roller & helped her make more money off of them. Most are ineffective assholes.


    Think like a BOSS, not a worker bee. See the bigger picture, this goes way beyond your own safety. This bartender is really running the club, you can change that & be the one doing it. I have applied some of the same strategies in an office setting just as a receptionist & was running the place in less than a month. Complaints went from 100 a month from customers to NONE. Even the headquarters in Atlanta noticed & came to Florida to thank me. Doesn't matter what position you have in any work place, you can change it for the better. Don't let someone else do it for evil.

    Sometimes you have lead by example. I do it hear on SW all the time.

    Good Luck,
    Sam
    Last edited by Sam38g; 12-18-2014 at 09:57 AM. Reason: adding info


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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ms.Belle View Post
    I have been dancing at a smaller/divey club for several months now and I am having some ridiculous issues with one of the bartenders. She saw a copy of my drivers license in the office (from the standard application form) and has been giving customers my real name, date of birth, and the general location of where I live, even without them asking! I have NEVER had to deal with something so ridiculous in a club but I am at a loss. I tried speaking with her and she FLIPPED her shit. Screaming at me about how horrible it is to lie to customers (gee - sorry, I don't want stalkers) and that it is not fair for me to "fake the truths" about myself.

    Since when do dancers give customers and real information?!?! I lie about EVERYTHING! Real name, hometown, my life outside of the club, everything is a made up story. I have customers attempting to Google my stage name and my “fake” real name, they wait in their cars until I arrive to see what car is mine, they follow me after work, you name it - I have dealt with it. So at this point I feel I have every damn right to say what I please to these custies without some bartender stepping in to correct me. I spoke with the manager yesterday after I found out she told yet another customer my real age and my full date of birth. I said that if it happens one more time I will have to leave the club due to safety issues. Understand that this club is a shit hole in the wall. Most dancers here make MAYBE $100 tops. I always leave with $500-$1,000 per shift, which means more money for the club because they take a cut of all VIP/Champagne dances. The manager never got around to speaking with the bartender and I have a feeling he never will.

    What would you do?! I love the money at this club but the stress of my personal information being leaked is starting to eat away at me.
    How does she know what you tell customers. This makes no sense to me. What would be her incentive? Also how would a bartender get a hold of your info? I don't know how your club works but I've worked at 50 or so clubs and not all were huge clubs and never had anything like this happen. Like a waitress, bartender, dancer wouldn't be able to just go through apps? I really think this is odd but just tell the customers she's a wacko and ignore it or I guess move on. Idk this is just un believable.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    My advice, if the damage is unfixable, scare the shit out of this bartender. For example- I had a really bad problem with another dancer I worked with so I made her think I was going to have her ass kicked. It didn't really stop her drama but it made me feel better, and she never succeeded in trying to take over the place. (Better yet, some other girl punched her in the face so hard she bled all over a lap dance booth couch, lol.)

    I have worked with female bartenders who think they rule the roost, but most won't do anything to get fired. I also advise if all is lost & you have to leave this place, tell the owner you are going to get him or her for what the bartender did. Better yet, don't tell them and then get revenge. Make it so they can never figure out who got at them, but they can probably guess.

    eta- I like what sam suggested, but in dives that doesn't always work. If she's buddy-buddy with the right people, she might be neutralized but is going to lurk around like a pissed off skunk. lol Actually the most effective revenge is to keep encouraging girls to apply there to take her job. That would just be fun revenge, it wouldn't help you out OP but it's good for a laugh.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    I realise it's not likely, but I would wonder if there were sm legal way of getting this taken care of.
    uuuummmm, no

    there is no law that states you can not tell somebody another persons name or address, Lol

    unless you have some sort of signed contract with that person, and i think its safe to say she does not

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    The bartender is just being a piece of shit. Dancers and bar workers will do/say shit like this to get under people's skin. That bartender knows what she's doing.

    OP honestly if you don't have a way to doing something about this right now, move on and take care of your immediate needs. I have danced long enough to see people like this get "run over" by their own schemes. Lots of losers on the planet. Good luck and best wishes...

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by buffyinla View Post
    uuuummmm, no

    there is no law that states you can not tell somebody another persons name or address, Lol

    unless you have some sort of signed contract with that person, and i think its safe to say she does not
    Given that this leaking of OP's personal info is creating a problem for her safety, she may have avenue to address it civilly altho not criminally. Idk where she is located, & the available recourse (if any) is going to vary greatly by location. If it was me, I would at least look into it, bc again, this is a matter of her safety, & that's not smtg anyone has a right to fk w/ IMO.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    Given that this leaking of OP's personal info is creating a problem for her safety,
    sorry but providing somebodies name and address is NOT "creating a problem for their safety"

    now if she gave her name and address to a hitman and paid him $20,000, THAT would be "creating a problem for her safety"

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Listen you can go about it the right way, the legal way, but that rarely gets anyone the results they want.

    There are laws in place that an employer can NOT give out any personal information. All they can do is confirm that you worked there. But then you will be hated by all in the club. You will only make it easier for her to turn everybody against you. Say you work in an office and a person calls saying they are verifying your information written down on a rental application. How does that manager know it isn't a stalker or con artist? There are laws in place for this, they can ONLY verify you work there.

    Being right, going about things the right way usually do NOT work. Especially when the other person isn't playing by the rules Follow my advice & see how quick it works. People who think life is fair & just are DELUSIONAL.

    Sam


    Threatening her only leads to more trouble.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post

    There are laws in place that an employer can NOT give out any personal information. All they can do is confirm that you worked there. But then you will be hated by all in the club.
    the employer is not giving out any personal info, the bartender is not the employer, this is no different then a friend of hers doing the same thing

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by michele11 View Post
    How does she know what you tell customers. This makes no sense to me. What would be her incentive? Also how would a bartender get a hold of your info? I don't know how your club works but I've worked at 50 or so clubs and not all were huge clubs and never had anything like this happen. Like a waitress, bartender, dancer wouldn't be able to just go through apps? I really think this is odd but just tell the customers she's a wacko and ignore it or I guess move on. Idk this is just un believable.
    I've worked in a small clubs. EVERYBODY knows EVERYONE who works there biz. I've seen other dancers, male bartenders, bouncers pull this kind of crap. Some people are just EVIL> She can get you raped, kidnapped, killed & yet has no conscience & does it. Unfathomable!

    She might be fucking the manager & has access to everyone's info & files. Hence why he hasn't gotten onto her about it. Men who work at strip clubs often pit girls against other girls for their own entertainment. We can NEVER assume the people we work with in any situation are good people. I've heard the HATE & VENOM strip club managers talking to bartenders & bouncers about the strippers. As if we are less than human, not as good as them because we get naked, even though they are profiting off of it.

    Long as you are making what you need to, turn the tide against them & make it what you want then YOU WIN! NEVER ever let them win. If they do it to you, they do it to many others as a power trip. Once you teach them a lesson, they either go away or I've seen become a better person & later on in life thank you for it. I've had several people thank me when I did it.

    What I don't do is stay silent & tolerate it. It doesn't happen just at strip clubs but in every kind of industry & in life.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    I feel for OP b/c I've been in this situation. In a bar environment it's very hard to prove where info comes from- especially in smaller towns. "The grapevine" has been the bane of many a person's existence.

    You can try diplomacy, but if that doesn't work, try other things. BTW one of the nastiest bitch bartenders I ever met had her fall from grace when her deeds finally landed her in hot water- she jumped on a plane to avoid arrest & had to leave "her bar" & all her flunkies. I've noticed small time crazies like this always have the same entourage- the lackey dudes who protect her, the butt-buddy friendship with the owner of the place, etc. Well it doesn't last forever.

    edit to add- oh God I just remembered I had a face off with a chick who does post on this site, so I will give you my version of what happened to her- she tried to win everyone over to get me gone from my home club (fat chance) I just hung in & kept hustling. The owner and staff got tired of her grandstanding and she started showing up looking worse for the wear. She then threw a tantrum & never came back. I heard she tried to make me sound like Hitler The Stripper to anyone who would listen lol.....Anyway my point being...take a break to show the manager that you meant business with your initial threat to leave. See if he keeps this bartender. Remember, she is replaceable.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by buffyinla View Post
    sorry but providing somebodies name and address is NOT "creating a problem for their safety"

    now if she gave her name and address to a hitman and paid him $20,000, THAT would be "creating a problem for her safety"
    OP stated above that this leaking of her personal info has resulted in an increase in stalkerish behaviour by customers. Scroll up & read for yourself. These aren't Girl Scouts that are waiting for her in the parking lot b4/after work, these are SC customers. All it takes is one loose cannon (or one loose cannon w/ a couple idiot buddies in tow) to be told where OP lives & possibly get into her home. If you're cool w/ coworkers playing games w/ your safety like that, well bully for you, but that bartender is absolutely out of line, esp continuing to run her mouth after OP tried to address the problem w/ her.

    Quote Originally Posted by buffyinla View Post
    the bartender is not the employer
    … & likewise has no legal right to be distributing any kind of personal info regarding fellow club workers.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    OP stated above that this leaking of her personal info has resulted in an increase in stalkerish behaviour by customers. Scroll up & read for yourself.
    prove beyond a reasonable doubt that those two instances are related.....you can't, and thats how the law works

    the OP never claimed the stalkerish behaviour has increased, she is speaking in general terms

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by buffyinla View Post
    sorry but providing somebodies name and address is NOT "creating a problem for their safety"

    now if she gave her name and address to a hitman and paid him $20,000, THAT would be "creating a problem for her safety"
    Really.....
    I take it you have NEVER been stalked.
    Honey, I've had my Doctor, my car insurance man use my personal information to hunt me down & stalk me. And when a big black man who was a cop & my best friend went and had a talk with them, they stopped bothering me.

    Know what the cops do when you file a report? NOTHING I've filed 6. NOTHING I've been stalked over 100 times. Guess what many of them before I even was a stripper or a porn star. So my job had NOTHING to do with it. Even more so, to say it does is victim blaming.

    I've had plenty of custies from a strip club try to run me off the round on the way home. What were their intentions? Causing me to wreck alone could have caused me much bodily harm if not death.

    Obviously, you never had men trying to break into your home. Guess they just wanted to come it & say "Hi".

    GET REAL

    1 out of 5 females in America are RAPED
    Only 60% of them report it.
    ONLY the DA can take it to court & try to convict the guy, but if you are a stripper, hooker, porn star NEVER going to even try the case.
    ONLY 3% of rape cases end up with a conviction.

    Majority of females raped are NOT in the sex industry, BUT we are often targets of rapist. Cause they know, our jobs, our sexuality will be used against us in a court of law.

    You are DELUSIONAL & have no heart.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    I understand exactly how the law works -- a lot of the time, the main bitch is proving intent. Also, 'proof beyond reasonable doubt' is required for a conviction. It is not a requirement for pressing charges.

    Also, as I said earlier, any possible recourse will vary by area. I didn't offer any definitive suggestions on that bc Idk where OP is located, & it's smtg she will have to investigate for herself. All I have said definitively is that this is smtg I think she should look into, bc let's be honest here -- if all SC customers were harmless, we wouldn't have stickies on this site specifically addressing personal safety in this job. That bartender wasn't born ystrdy, she knows exactly the kind of trouble her loose tongue can cause the OP, & whether OP takes Sam's advice, or tries to look for legal recourse, or just says Fk It & moves clubs/cities, I think this isn't smtg that should just be ignored.
    Last edited by Aniela; 12-18-2014 at 01:59 PM.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by buffyinla View Post
    prove beyond a reasonable doubt that those two instances are related.....you can't, and thats how the law works

    the OP never claimed the stalkerish behaviour has increased, she is speaking in general terms
    If you believe the bullshit you are writing they why the pseudo name? Why not use your real name?

    Why not post your real name & address here?

    Where do you work?

    You came here to start trouble... I'll give it to you. Obviously you are a MAN & a TROLL!

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    And when a big black man who was a cop & my best friend went and had a talk with them, they stopped bothering me.
    i would have never figured out what you meant here until i read the man was black :::rolleyes:::

    all of this is nice info and all but has nothing to do with my topic at hand.....there is no law against a bartender giving out a strippers personal information, employer yes, bartender no....end of story

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by buffyinla View Post
    i would have never figured out what you meant here until i read the man was black :::rolleyes:::

    all of this is nice info and all but has nothing to do with my topic at hand.....there is no law against a bartender giving out a strippers personal information, employer yes, bartender no....end of story
    Re: Sam's big black friend … one finds allies where one can, esp when working in this business. But if you're as ill-tempered IRL as you've been here so far, I can see where that might be a foreign concept for you.

    As to 'no law against a bartender giving out personal info' you might be able to make that statement sound half-credible if you provided a link to the statutes for OP's area. If anything, it would likely fall under breach of privacy or sm such thing. OP might not be able to file criminal charges, but depending on how laws are written in her area, she could have a case for a civil lawsuit.

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    Re: Sam's big black friend … one finds allies where one can, esp when working in this business. But if you're as ill-tempered IRL as you've been here so far, I can see where that might be a foreign concept for you.
    i think that one went right over your head, what i meant was, what does his race have anything to do with it?

    As to 'no law against a bartender giving out personal info' you might be able to make that statement sound half-credible if you provided a link to the statutes for OP's area. If anything, it would likely fall under breach of privacy or sm such thing. OP might not be able to file criminal charges, but depending on how laws are written in her area, she could have a case for a civil lawsuit.
    sure let her pursue this in court, you know what the outcome will be?

    - case dismissed in the defendants favor
    - lose her job
    - possibly not get another job at another SC because of this
    - a huge legal bill plus court fees

    yeah good advice there!

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    Default Re: Bartender leaking my personal information to customers...What would you do?!

    Quote Originally Posted by buffyinla View Post
    i think that one went right over your head, what i meant was, what does his race have anything to do with it?

    sure let her pursue this in court, you know what the outcome will be?

    - case dismissed in the defendants favor
    - lose her job
    - possibly not get another job at another SC because of this
    - a huge legal bill plus court fees

    yeah good advice there!
    Nothing went over my head, sweetheart … but go on ahead & keep flattering yourself if it makes you feel good.

    I haven't advised OP to actually proceed w/ filing any kind of legal action. All I said was that I think she should look into it. She's the only one here who can decide whether it's worth it to her -- not me, not Snuffle, not Sam, not the Pope, & not 12year-old Reddit-rejects who pop on here w/ nothing helpful to offer but way too much free time to stir shit up.

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