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Thread: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

  1. #26
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    Another little one...

    Do NOT commiserate with the other dancers / staff about how slow a shift is. Never say anything to anybody like "Shit, it's so slow...I'm so booored," etc. If someone says something to you about how slow it is, say something to re-frame what they've said in a more positive light. "Yeah, things are a bit quiet right now..." Or something non-committal and non-fatalistic. Once I start to get into that mentality of "Well, there goes a shift," or "This shift is fucked..." then I start to give up, and my energy changes. You have no idea when a night might turn around, and you need to stay open to that possibility.

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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    You always give wonderful advice charlie

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  5. #28
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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Wasn't sure where to put this tidbit. ... - is to never watch the other girls while you're working. Don't watch their stage shows, don't watch their dances, don't watch them in the dressing room. Small talk is, eh, okay...if you happen to bump into someone in the dressing room who says something to you, or if you ask someone for the time. But if you go home and can't recall any of your coworkers' faces, that's generally a good sign. Your focus should always be 100% on the customers or on yourself.
    I cant help watching the amazing stage dancers- i love the beauty of it, the ones that stir your soul when they dance- the very small number of incredible performers whose stages I've seen will be one of the memories I take with me when i leave dancing and consider myself blessed for having witnessed.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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  7. #29
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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    ^I'm right there with ya - if I enjoy watching a girl, I'll watch her. I meant that it's best not to watch the stage if it makes you feel inferior / insecure / like you should be doing more for tips. It can also distract you from working the room. But if it's super slow or I've already hustled everyone in the club, I'll sometimes watch the stage.

    That said, I'd rather loiter in the dressing room than watch a girl who's doing full on lap dances for customers tipping one dollar at a time during her stage show. That shit is not good for my energy!

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  9. #30
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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    ^ gawd yes! BTW I actually really found something in the rest of the thread you quoted though- its great advice when i go into a insecure mindset x
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




  10. #31
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    ^ gawd yes! BTW I actually really found something in the rest of the thread you quoted though- its great advice when i go into a insecure mindset x

  11. #32
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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Another little one...

    Do NOT commiserate with the other dancers / staff about how slow a shift is. Never say anything to anybody like "Shit, it's so slow...I'm so booored," etc. If someone says something to you about how slow it is, say something to re-frame what they've said in a more positive light. "Yeah, things are a bit quiet right now..." Or something non-committal and non-fatalistic. Once I start to get into that mentality of "Well, there goes a shift," or "This shift is fucked..." then I start to give up, and my energy changes. You have no idea when a night might turn around, and you need to stay open to that possibility.
    This is something I really need to work on. Last night I definitely had negative energy and just felt myself completely give up on the night. I gave up and changed and was about to leave when the bouncer told me a customer was asking for me. I made double what i already made off him! That was like a slap in the face reminding me to keep a positive attitude and not give up on a night.

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  13. #33
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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    I read a quote recently "interrupt anxiety with gratitude." It absolutely works! For the first hour tonight I had only sold one dance and I was getting a little down, but then I went in the DR and said (silently) "This is still more money than I had when I walked in. I am so grateful to have a job where, If I don't make as much money as I want, I can try again tomorrow. I'm so grateful to have a job that allows me so much freedom to work whenever I want" blah blah blah. You get the idea. Before you know it you're in a better mood and ready to hustle.

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    Default Re: Pulling out of the Death Spiral

    I try to remember the really bad nights I've had when all it took was customer (usually at the very end of the night) to make my whole shift worth while, fun and enjoyable. I've absolutely have had several times when I was going to walk out negative but in the last 30-60 minutes I met a great guy who spends money and is fun to be around. Some shifts will suck no matter what but all we need is one customer to make our day/night when we meet our goals and enjoy our job! (God I hated my last vanilla job, I'm so f$cking positive now it's f$cking annoying)

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