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Thread: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

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    Sad Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Ok, here's the deal. My uncle is crazy. As far as I know, schitzophrenic, BPD, DID, and homicidal. He disappeared about a year ago. The highlights of his instability:

    -My grandparents, mom, uncle, and I moved to the US in 1991. I was six. We were all living in a townhouse when we first arrived. My grandparents found a great apt. shortly after, leaving my mom and I living with my uncle. He was stuck watching me after school until my mom would get home. One day, I had cartoons on too loud. This resulted in him snapping and holding us hostage at knifepoint for hours, threatening to kill us, until my mom snuck away to call a taxi to take us to her employers' house, where we ended up living for a few months. If it wasn't for that lady, we would have been homeless. We lost everything, the possessions, the money, all our documents in that move.

    -When I was 14, I got kidnapped and raped. That's when he disowned me.

    -When I was 23, my grandfather had a heart attack. My uncle took this opportunity to steal his money, all of it. 30,000, which he was saving for me to get a condo.

    -When my grandfather got out of the hospital, my uncle told him if he showed up at his house, he'd kill him.

    -Around 2013, he disowned what was left of my family, his house got foreclosed, and he disappeared.

    I'm sort of at a loss on whether or not to look for him. I'm still hurt/scared/betrayed by his actions, but as a nurse know that people with very little grip on reality aren't all that responsible for their actions. I see my choices as being:
    -hire a pi to look for him and try to get the money back
    -getting the police involved, so he can be committed and get meds
    -get therapy to get over everything
    -do nothing

    What would you do if you were me? I'm still mad/sad/scared, but feel like shit for turning my back on someone who's blood to me. Any thoughts?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Well, 1st of all, Hugs.
    So sorry this happened, & I would try to seek therapy..don't feel down about yourself, horrible things happened & you've a right to be angry.
    Perhaps when you speak to someone, there's some type of recourse possible?
    I hope you can start the healing process.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    Perhaps when you speak to someone, there's some type of recourse possible?
    Legally,no. My lawyer looked for every shred of evidence he could and there's not enough for a case
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    It's so important to remember that just because your mental health situation isn't as severe as someone else's, their needs don't have to take precedence over your own.

    I vote taking care of yourself first.
    Last edited by lol1337a; 12-23-2014 at 04:02 AM. Reason: grammar

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    He is not just an annoying relative, he is dangerously unstable. There is no reason to feel any guilt about this, you nor anybody else should be around this person.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    ^See, I feel guilty cuz I'm scared he's gonna flip on someone that's not family and they'll get hurt. I've tried to find him, all I came up with after hundreds of dollars and many man hours is 1-he had a facebook in 2011 and 2-he hasn't committed any crimes yet.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    How likely is it - that if you did find him - he would be committed?

    I appreciate why you would be worried. Clearly he is dangerous so Id be very hesitant to bring him back into your life.

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    First, so many hugs to you OP. Mental illness runs in my family. Sm are more stable than others, but lets just say that the ones who are less-so, don't ever do anything halfway. You & your remaining family need to take care of yourselves first.

    My personal jury is still out re: the degree to which a mentally-ill person is responsible, even having suffered from mental illness myself, but let's shelve the issue of his personal responsibility for the moment. He has shown a pattern of extremely dangerous actions towards others. Forget whether or not he might be 'responsible' for those actions, that alone is enough to have him forcibly committed. You're right to worry that an innocent person could find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time when your uncle flips his shit.

    If you know (or learn) where he is, I would do everything I can to get him locked up & get whatever help he needs. But if you are unable to find him, you also need to accept that there is not much that can be done, unless he attacks the wrong person & is lucky enough to get committed as a result. If you can find a way to recover all of the $$$, or even just a portion of it, I would definitely try, but that might just end up being smtg that has to get written off.

    In the meantime, you need to take care of yourself. Whether that means professional help or sm form of DIY therapy, your health is the most important thing. Don't 'do nothing' & just leave the pain & anger to fester, bc it won't go away on its own. I wish you luck on this.

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Do nothing, seriously. My boyfriend and I are currently in fear of his cousin (who is exactly like your uncle) murdering both his mom and my boyfriend's mom (they are sisters.) Nothing would make me happier than to hear this guy in our situation (we'll call him "Shithead") is dead. Mental illness is a tragedy but sometimes the world is a better safer place without certain people in it.

    I also would not worry b/c my life has taught me that a lot of evil crazy people are geniuses at survival. Cockroaches have NOTHING on these people. My half brother should be dead a dozen times over but Nooooooo he's actually warming his miserable ass on my aunt's couch right now. I'm trying to say that if your missing uncle isn't worm food somewhere remote....he's probably hanging out in a homeless encampment or living it up in a crackhouse.

    TL; DR- you are sweet to care about uncle, but let Nature take its course.

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    ^Haha, see I don't think he'd be living with others. Clearly, his social skills are lacking. Another possibility could be he IS on the streets, somewhere, and instead of pulling a knife on a ninety pound woman and a six year old, he did it to a three hundred pound, armed drug dealer. In which case there SHOULD be an obituary somewhere, but there isn't. I just get all sappy and forgiving around the holidays, even though I hate how commercialized they are.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    What a big heart you have.

    You are NOT responsible for him in any way possible. Do NOT let evil into your life even if it is a blood relative. There are crazy dangerous people in this world and it is the POLICE job to deal with it, NOT you.

    Because he was family, he was allowed to do these things. Other people run when they see crazy and don't even let them close. Trust that they don't get close to him.

    In life, we have to take care of ourselves first then our loved ones. If you have kids, or want kids, have siblings with kids NEVER EVER can you even let him be a 1000 miles of you. I know the culture from other countries are much more family oriented. NO matter what EVIL is EVIL and never allow it in your life.

    Your Mom, grandparents all sound like truly caring, giving wonderful people, he had every chance to be that too. Instead, he chose to be evil. Doesn't even sound like mental disabled person, some people like it or not are just bad people with NO excuses. He is a criminal and more than likely either dead or in jail. You don't owe it to anyone to find out.

    Many blessings to you,
    Sam

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    ^Haha, see I don't think he'd be living with others. Clearly, his social skills are lacking. Another possibility could be he IS on the streets, somewhere, and instead of pulling a knife on a ninety pound woman and a six year old, he did it to a three hundred pound, armed drug dealer. In which case there SHOULD be an obituary somewhere, but there isn't. I just get all sappy and forgiving around the holidays, even though I hate how commercialized they are.
    Sappy and forgiving do NOT include relatives that kidnap and rob and try to kill even family members.
    Why wasn't he arrested after the knife point and kidnapping?
    Why wasn't he arrested after robbing your grandfather?

    Let me guess, even though he was evil, your family protected him and didn't have him put in jail. It has been instilled into you to still love and protect this EVIL person. No meds will cure or help him, even if by a small chance they did, you can't force him to take them everyday.

    Who is going to pay to for the luny bin you want him in? YOU? The state won't, maybe for a little while until they get him properly medicated then he will be released back onto the streets.

    Let it go, use the holiday season to feel blessed by what you have now that is good in your life. Not to feel guilt, pity, compassion for a person that is has never existed in before except to bring people closer so he can be more evil.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Thanks I'm just one of those people who likes to believe no one is beyond redemption....well, he is. I'll just leave the situation in the hands of the higher power and worry about fixing the trauma the past and present actions of this person have had on me and my family.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Some people are beyond redemption.

    Donate time to a homeless shelter, donate food or clothing, towels, soap, shampoo, toothbrushes, toothpaste, bus passes, blankets, to a women's shelter as a way to give back in a way to counter act his evil acts and the commercialization of Christmas.

    Merry Christmas,
    Sam

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    ^I already do all that Just to lighten the mood, I googled him again and what came up? His name and former address, asking people to send him money for a secret to adding inches to their penises lol.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Random trivia about obits- most papers (online and paper version) won't publish them unless someone pays for the space.

    I seriously would not trouble myself about Uncle, unless you have a legit fear he might burgle your house or steal your car.

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    ^Fuck, you're so right! When grandpa died in March,the obituary and its' contents were included in the ridiculous price.
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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Disturbing trivia- many years after my late uncle passed without having an obit published, per his orders (he was a tightwad but died a millionaire, natch) I found Internet listings with his death info from who knows where....I kept checking for online memorials but never saw them until now that his estate has regained value. In other words, once someone assigns monetary value to some info, people come a-callin. Thank God his widow is as shrewd as he was, otherwise she'd be a chunk of meat for scammers and thieves.

    You might want to consider publishing a "disownment" ad in the paper to make a public record of NOT wanting any sort of relationship with your uncle- I see these ads often enough. It's funny in this world we live in, we always fear harm from strangers but in the end the worst wounds and danger come from people closest to us. "People are afraid of the wrong things."

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Thanks so much, I didn't even know that was an option.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    You are such a sweetheart. You remind me of myself, lol.

    But...some family members need to be cut out of our lives, for our own sanity and safety. I've cut out a few family members of mine, because they were psychopathic/cruel....or because they've done massive damage to me to which they never owned up to/acknowledged. It sounds like you need to do the same. Just cut him out of your life completely, and move on. It's all you can do at this point.
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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    ^I already do all that Just to lighten the mood, I googled him again and what came up? His name and former address, asking people to send him money for a secret to adding inches to their penises lol.
    Well, there you go. He is alive and still conning people.

    Have a glass of your fav drink and smile.

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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    ^Haha, wine it is, it's the only alcohol my system can handle, given my medical issues. And the part of me who's still mad at him and wants revenge has decided to let karma work it out. PS-if anyone DOES want to add inches to their dicks, please buy products from a reputable source, not unstable con artists.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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  38. #23
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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    So, just an update: saw my mom on Christmas. Guess he contacted her. Flat broke, scamming people, and working in fast food
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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    So, just an update: saw my mom on Christmas. Guess he contacted her. Flat broke, scamming people, and working in fast food
    He has a lot in common with a guy who conned me and my brother out of a couple thousand worth of dollars and furniture. Some people are farking unbelieveable...

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  41. #25
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    Default Re: Psychotic family member missing-LONG read

    Oh, and the IRS is so after him. So are tons of people who didn't take being conned as well as Grandpa.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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