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Thread: Why do I always get this question?

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    Default Why do I always get this question?

    I've been occasionally visiting different strip clubs over the years, and now I'm thinking about weird patterns I've noticed. Why am I ALWAYS asked "How late are you staying?" or "When are you leaving?" or some similar question, and then the dancer disappears from the floor shortly thereafter?

    In the past, I never gave it any thought, I just figured the dancer was planning her revenue stream for the evening, prioritizing her prospects, sharing info with other dancers, etc. But the strange thing is, often I'll decide I want another dance, only to realize that the dancer disappeared after her last conversation with me, never to return. It's rather disappointing. And it's a definite pattern.

    So anyway, why am I always asked that question?

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    That's what I meant by "planning her revenue stream"... but in hindsight, it's not adding up. And it's a trend.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    She's not with a regular if I stay for another two hours and she never reappears and the VIP is empty.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    I just remembered something...

    Most times, I don't really know when I'm leaving, but one time was an exception, and I gave the girl the actual time I had to leave. She showed back up at that time, and asked "are you leaving now?". I said no, I changed my mind and was going to stay a bit longer (because, boobs!). There was some chit-chat I don't remember. A few minutes later I was looking to get a dance from her, and she was GONE, just like every other strip club experience I've had.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    If you're having that much trouble, it might be time to stop waiting on them & bring up dances/VIP yourself.

    You haven't given much description of your behaviour, but if you're putting out sm kind of major 'maybe later' vibes, or 'this guy seems cheap but he might make a good safety spot/looking busy spot' cue, then that could be part of it.

    My first thought was that they see a regular (read: guarantee) & want to get him taken care of first. Not all regulars are VIP types; sm just want to stay at the table or in the corner & pay the girl for her time in an 'unofficial' setup, either bc of their own preferences or as a way of not having to fork over any $$$ to the club since the girl is the one actually entertaining them.

    Could also be that you're just sm how managing to strike it up w/ dumbass dancers who don't know how to work towards + close a sale.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    I buy lots of dances when I go to the clubs, which is why I don't go very often. (Frankly, the day after is not good for my wallet or my self esteem.) The "How late are you staying" question usually comes after I've had a string of private dances with the same dancer. As for vibes I'm putting out-- I'm told I'm not cheerful enough. I guess to me, the strip club isn't a place to party... it's a place to to zone out, forget about life, appreciate the female body. I do try to be friendly.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Short answer is this:
    They want to have an idea of when you will be leaving because they have already sold you dances and in their minds they could sell you more. You aren't getting any more at this time and they want to find someone who will be. If they have an idea of when you are leaving they can check on you before you go to see if they can get the last bills left in your wallet. (They know like we do if we leave with money in our wallets we didn't have as good a time as we expected to)


    Slightly longer answer:
    You must be giving off some sort of negative energy. The fact that the next day you talk about a negative impact on both your wallet AND self esteem means spending money on dances makes you feel bad about yourself. Either for enjoying this type of entertainment or not having the ability to stop yourself from spending more than you can. Add in the fact that you are in a club where beautiful, mostly naked women are walking around and coming up to you and dancing on your lap, and you don't think that's a party? Where else does that happen in your life that you can't consider that to be a great night out?


    I believe you are over thinking your experiences in clubs. I think you just need to go in with a set amount of money you are willing to spend, enjoy your time spending it, and then get up and leave when there's nothing left. And the next day, instead of feeling bad about yourself, you should think about that "party" to inspire you to work hard and make more money to get back for more fun.
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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    I would say most likely if she's asking how long you're staying she wants to know if you're a potential VIP customer or even have time for a string of dances. There are some guys that go to clubs to "pass the time" for various reasons. (For example, my club is very close to an airport so we get a fair number of guys waiting for flights or pick people up)
    If she leaves after speaking to you or dancing for you, I would say maybe she has a regular, or simply feels you are finished spending time with her.
    If you don't like this, you could maybe TELL the dancers you possibly may want to do more dances and to stop by again. But make sure she knows you're serious about it, as we get guys who say "maybe later" as their reason not to get dances when we initially approach them.
    If the clubs you're visiting are busy clubs, just realize that it can be very fast paced for the girls. We often have to make split second decisions about what to do, and if a girl doesn't feel there is potential with you, that could be another readon she isn't stopping back by to see you.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Maybe you caught her towards the end of her shift.

    You mentioned you already got dances from her so unless you show her you still want and enjoy her company and keep tipping/paying her for her time, she will either find another customer for VIP or if it's towards the end of her shift, she will just leave and go home.

    I don't tell customers I'm leaving to go home because I had a guy leave at the same time and try to follow me home. So most likely they won't tell you their leaving to go home unless you're a trusted regular.
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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    To be honest, when I do this, it often means I don't want to be anywhere around the guy for whatever reasons, like if he smells funny, not properly groomed, too fat , creepy etc. they are just trying to be polite when asking how late will you be here. Customers use this line with us too when they don't intend on getting dances.

    Strippers don't back away from money unless under extreme circumstances. If you have strippers running away from your money, the problem isn't them, the problem is with you. With that said, I don't know what particular issue strippers have with you, but fix it. Then every stripper will want to be around you as long as you intend on spending money. Money does not make up for feelings of disgust.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Almost every time that I've heard this question, it was when the girl was getting ready to move on. Rarely has a girl who asked me this question actually returned later, so I've always assumed that it just another thing that some girls say to politely disengage. After all, if she really thought that you were a great prospect, she probably wouldn't leave and risk some other girl grabbing your interest in the first place.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Quote Originally Posted by kassie View Post
    To be honest, when I do this, it often means I don't want to be anywhere around the guy for whatever reasons, like if he smells funny, not properly groomed, too fat , creepy etc. they are just trying to be polite when asking how late will you be here. Customers use this line with us too when they don't intend on getting dances.

    Strippers don't back away from money unless under extreme circumstances. If you have strippers running away from your money, the problem isn't them, the problem is with you. With that said, I don't know what particular issue strippers have with you, but fix it. Then every stripper will want to be around you as long as you intend on spending money. Money does not make up for feelings of disgust.
    LOL kassie. Idk though. Do we really have enough intel to assume that she took off because she was disgusted by him? Aren't there any number of other possible reasons for her to move along? For example, maybe she thought that she cleaned him out. Maybe she just wanted to go home. Maybe she had a better prospect in the building. Maybe her dinner arrived in the dressing room. [Insert other reasons here]. I'm not sure that we have enough information to make a leap like that.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    LOL kassie. Idk though. Do we really have enough intel to assume that she took off because she was disgusted by him? Aren't there any number of other possible reasons for her to move along? For example, maybe she thought that she cleaned him out. Maybe she just wanted to go home. Maybe she had a better prospect in the building. Maybe her dinner arrived in the dressing room. [Insert other reasons here]. I'm not sure that we have enough information to make a leap like that.
    He did state that this happens ALL THE TIME. It's not a coincidence. You're just a customer though, you never have to deal with getting too close to patrons as strippers do, I know the deal.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    I say that as a polite "see ya" if I feel like the customer has spent all he's going to spend. Sometimes he'll say "I'm staying for x hours. Please come back and see me in 30 minutes" and I will go back if I'm not busy. It's my way of gauging whether he's done spending or not. OP in the future, if you want more dances let the girl know that YES you will be wanting more and ask her to come back to you. We're not mind readers.

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    Duh Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Oh wait, I actually misread his post. I failed to read that this happens AFTER dances. The problem is just that us girls naturally assume that when a customer is done getting dances, he's done for the night. Very rarely do we get repeat customers on the same exact night, with the exception of loyal regulars. Usually customers just go home for the night or dance with other girls (variety). Next time this happens just tell the girl your situation and she'll understand and most likely come back. It would also help to give her a time. ex: in an hour come back, I want another dance with you.

    It's actually quite awkward and pointless approaching a guy you already danced with for another; unless of course you know for a fact that he wants more. Kind of like asking to borrow money from someone you already owe.. "I drained you already, lettme drain you more".

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    I've only started visiting a strip club 2 months ago and I've also experienced what OP described. in fact, I was so naïve to strip club culture that I even googled strip club etiquette (which is how I found the stripperweb forums) and thought I had mastered everything to be an ideal customer lol.
    From my experience, this happens most often during the prime hours when the dancer's are on auto pilot mode scanning for their next string of dances and haven't the attention to read into whatever hints or innuendos you're trying to convey.
    The second possibility is that they're burned out, in which case no amount of stage tipping is going to entice an invitation to a lap dance or VIP.

    Curiously I have learned also from personal experience that if you tip the dancers on stage very very generously they would rather milk you in that fashion. That way no ones toes get stepped on and no one gets cockblocked by another dancer. And everyone makes money through the rotations. I guess it is bad etiquette to approach a customer at the tip rail who likes to make singles fly. I came to this conclusion because the dancers would eye fuck the hell out of me but not approach me until I'd go to use the restroom or walk up to the bar to change for more singles. lol

    Ahhh and so much yet to learn. Strip club culture fascinates me and I love browsing these forums

    So to the OP, I say don't take it personally!

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    I think it is pretty common for dancers to say this as an escape mechanism after you have gotten dances from them. If you say you are leaving then they can say bye and move on. If you say you are staying for awhile they can they say they will check back with you, and move on. Seems like a pretty smooth way to leave after you've extracted the customers money. And I don't mind. I've already chatted with you and gotten dances, and either I'm ready to go, or I want to talk to a different dancer. Win, win.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Whenever I am asked those questions it is almost always revenue based. I'm either getting a dance from someone and girl number 2 is wondering if I'm sticking around to do dances with her also, or they are about to get on stage and wondering if I'm going to stick around to get dances after their stage set my club visits tend to be an hour or less. I can't say I've experienced what the OP experienced with dancers not coming back after asking these questions.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Quote Originally Posted by GypsyLace View Post
    Seriously? I really just want to be honest and not hurt your feelings, but When I say that to a gentleman, I'm bored with the conversation I'm having . Yeah dances have been done and I like money, but if you're taking a dance hiatus and the conversation is slow enough to make me feel like I'm talking to a brick wall, I'll usually have to wander off because I can't keep up being charming that long without a bit of give and take. Yes, I'll probably want to come back , but I do tend to get busy, as I'd imagine your favourites do too, and of there's another fellow buying who doesn't make me want to drain whole bottles of vodka, I'll probably stay there. I've got no idea if this is the case for you though OP . You quite possibly are the most charming man in the world and these ladies simply don't know when they're onto a good thing . But for me... That's usually the only reason if ask that question.
    I'm not sure if you were directing that at me or the OP. If at me, my feelings aren't hurt. But, one thing you may not have considered is that the customer wants you to leave. After I've chatted a while, and gotten some dances, I'm ready for the dancer to move on. I like to interact with several dancers during a club visit, not spend my time with just one--not even my favorite. That is part of the allure of the club. I'll spend more time and money on my favorite, but don't want to spend all my time with just her.

    When I want the dancer to leave, I will purposely slow the conversation, and pay more attention to the stage until she gets the hint and leaves. I do know that when I've wanted a dancer to stay with me longer, I've had no problems with her leaving. So the combination of money and conversation is at least good enough to keep her interest.

    But have you considered that a customer might be purposely boring and aloof to get you to leave? I think this is actually a defensive mechanism I've developed over the years, because I've had problems with dancers just plopping down and staying.

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    Quote Originally Posted by cactus View Post
    She asked "are you leaving now?". I said no, I changed my mind and was going to stay a bit longer (because, boobs!).


    I like the way you think!
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    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    There are a few reasons why this happens with me:

    A: I have incredibly shitty facial memory at this point. You could tip me $100 bill on stage and I might have problems finding you after you left the stage. I also can't see that well when I'm up there, due to the lights.

    B: Most of my money is made off of stage, conversation, and people paying anywhere from $20-60 for a dance (at a $10, fully nude dance club.) Very occasionally, I get VIPs - we talk or dance or you rub my back...

    C: When I'm on stage, I can get wait lines for dances of literally HOURS. I can't always find people who are waiting for me (which blows, but I REALLY try to remember everyone.) people leave though, or get taken by other girls... Sooo... I try not to waste too much time.

    (I realize that it sounds crazy conceited to talk about being in high demand, but when it hits, it HITS HARD.)

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    Default Re: Why do I always get this question?

    I ask this question a lot on day shift because I've had plenty of customers inform me that they only have X amount of time to spend in the club before they have to get on with their day.

    If you visit the club early in the day, this could be the reason why girls keep asking you this question.

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