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Thread: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

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    God/dess Sunnylexie's Avatar
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    Default TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    Sooo yesterday my husband found all his bank accounts arrested. When he called the bank, they sent him to the bailiffs office. He was really surprised because he didn't have any payments due and never took a single loan from any bank but had no other choice, so when he came there he found out his ex-wife has sued him for child support 8 months ago and he's about $ 3,000 in debt. He never heard about this happening. More than that, the lawsuit is utter, obvious and impudent bullshit because: 1) the child was conceived 5 months after their divorce; 2) the reason for divorce was that the woman didn't want to have sex with my husband anymore because he gained much weight after spinal trauma (and not like she'd change her mind all of a sudden a half a year later); 3) all the common acquaintances know who is the actual father and my husband was told about him by her personally; 4) my husband is sterile and his ex is well aware of it as they took fertility tests together; 5) the monthly payment was calculated as if he made around $2,000 a month - a nearly outrageous amount for our town, like top-management level; 6) the court somehow let this bullshit pass - wrote him in as the father, set the monthly payout etc, all without giving him or having him submit a single piece of paper ever. Maybe the woman pulled some strings (from what I know, she has an aunt who works as a judge). Anyway, now my husband has to use all his vacation time and a shitload of money (like $1, 000 trip and independent testing included) to go to our hometown, gather the proofs needed and impeach the bullshit impossible child support - which is ridiculous because it should've never been enacted in the first place.

    I don't even know what that person and her family thought of when applying for it. Probably she is just desperate as the kid's father left her alone and HIV-positive (her daughter probably has HIV too). But she has a mother and an aunt who could've told her there was no way she could benefit from it (other than messing with our family, but ffs there are easier way to do it!). Did she just want to break ny hubby's crayons? Or did she seriously expect him just to hand over $ 425 every month, no questions asked, when he only makes around 350?

    My head is a fucking mess now because a) The situation fucks up our plans badly as sorting this shit out can take months (hopefully, my husband won't have to quit his job because of it). We planned to move cities (like 5000 km, so my husband wouldn't be able to go to our hometown and back every time needed) in May and that's when our rental contract is terminated, so if the landlord doesn't let us stay we'll have to look for another place to live. I'm SOO happy we haven't bought the plane tickets yet because the economy tickets can't be returned ot transferred to another date! b) The expenses won't be compensated because the ex probably doesn't have the money anyway, and even if she had - c) I feel really bad for the woman and her kid because we're messing with them when their situation is already terrible and I don't want to make it even worse; d) I don't know what to expect of a person who conceives such weird ideas and obviously spares no trouble to put them into life. TO be honest, I feel threatened.
    Last edited by Sunnylexie; 12-23-2014 at 06:42 PM.
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    Senior Member Addison Lynne's Avatar
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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    This doesn't make sense at all. Alimony is to support her, not a baby. That's child support. She could get alimony but most times that is settled as part of the divorce, not sure if it can happen afterwards.

    If she is going for child support all he would have to do is contest it and the court would order a DNA test. He probably doesn't need a lawyer at all.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    Sunny, if I remember correctly, you are in Russia. I guess things work differently there, because I doubt that this would have happened like that pretty much anywhere here in the U.S. For starters, here he wouldn't have been blindsided as she would have been required to serve him notice of the court appearance or, if he could not be located, exhaust all reasonable means of serving him. From there, it would have been a relatively simple matter to appear in court and fight this. What you are going through sounds a little shady and more than a bit corrupt.

    Anyway, since I don't know anything about how these things work where you are, all I can say is good luck and I hope he gets this resolved.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    Ugh this sounds terrible. No wonder my ex was in no big hurry to go back to Europe, I didn't realize this was even possible in court. Due to corruption I bet it is.

    eta- surprise lawsuits can happen in America too- some people make entire livings out of stupid lawsuits. Ugh.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    You are in Russia? Well then she can't do that to him if she is dead, nomsayin?
    “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

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    God/dess Sunnylexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    Quote Originally Posted by Addison Lynne View Post
    This doesn't make sense at all. Alimony is to support her, not a baby. That's child support. She could get alimony but most times that is settled as part of the divorce, not sure if it can happen afterwards.

    If she is going for child support all he would have to do is contest it and the court would order a DNA test. He probably doesn't need a lawyer at all.
    Yes you're right, what I was talking about was child support (it's called different here so I got the terms confused). Making changes.
    Yes it's typically settled as part of the divorce, but the baby came 14 months after it! No idea how they made it work without a paternity lawsuit or DNA tests.
    Even though it's obviously easy to contest, it will take time and if she uses her connections again it will be a LONG time. Besides, the test would be initially ordered and paid by my husband (not court) and then compensated by her if he wins the case. Hope she backs down without any tests, though.

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Sunny, if I remember correctly, you are in Russia. I guess things work differently there, because I doubt that this would have happened like that pretty much anywhere here in the U.S. For starters, here he wouldn't have been blindsided as she would have been required to serve him notice of the court appearance or, if he could not be located, exhaust all reasonable means of serving him. From there, it would have been a relatively simple matter to appear in court and fight this. What you are going through sounds a little shady and more than a bit corrupt.
    That's exactly how things ARE SUPPOSED to work here, too. But there was DEAD SILENCE, NO notices, calls or anything (otherwise we'd have nipped it in the bud). They could have imitated his signature as she probably has samples, but there's more than just signatures needed, so WTF.
    Last edited by Sunnylexie; 12-24-2014 at 07:02 AM.
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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    Hire an attorney. Please don't think about handling it yourselves, and don't worry about the cost. An attorney will be cheaper than making a monthly payment for the next 18-22 years.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    Just want to say, I wish you the best.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    Quote Originally Posted by safado View Post
    You are in Russia? Well then she can't do that to him if she is dead, nomsayin?
    If you said that to imply that she'll be dead due to being HIV+, then your it's kinda stupid. These days, the prognosis for most HIV+ patients is pretty good.





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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    If you said that to imply that she'll be dead due to being HIV+, then your it's kinda stupid. These days, the prognosis for most HIV+ patients is pretty good.
    I could be wrong, but I took his comment as a veiled suggestion to dispense sm 'private justice'.

    Like the CapitalOne commercial says, 'Nothing says Happy Holidays like a shovel!'

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    ^^^

    Quote Originally Posted by safado View Post
    You are in Russia? Well then she can't do that to him if she is dead, nomsayin?
    That's the way we do it in the Russian Mafia!*brb need take the bear out for a walk. Gotta keep an eye on the bastard so he doesn't pee all over my nuclear weapons*.
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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    I could be wrong, but I took his comment as a veiled suggestion to dispense sm 'private justice'.

    Like the CapitalOne commercial says, 'Nothing says Happy Holidays like a shovel!'
    This! I did not read the complete original post.
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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    When i saw this "Maybe the woman pulled some strings (from what I know, she has an aunt who works as a judge). I thought, sounds like Russia.)))and after i saw that you are from Russia. Im russian too.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    This sounds horrible. She sounds evil and sending positive vibes to you and your husband.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants alimony for a child by another man

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post
    That's the way we do it in the Russian Mafia!*brb need take the bear out for a walk. Gotta keep an eye on the bastard so he doesn't pee all over my nuclear weapons*.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrU1hZxSEXQ

    Sorry, off topic. With all the Russian references just reminds me of this music video.

    Sorry bbcode isn't wanting to work that well on mobile. I'll fix the link when I get home.





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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    What does TML mean? Every time I see this thread I wonder.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    I assume she meant FML ( fuck my life).

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    That's what I thought but I wasn't sure if a new term had been created... I'm very behind on Internet slang.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    As an almost 30 year old, Americanized woman: Please, hire an attorney, move any money you can move, and research the legalities of what happened. Yes, I feel sorry for the ex, but it sounds like she's grasping at straws to get money, which she'll need to deal with her devastating diagnosis.
    As someone who's dying to visit Mother Russia for the first time in years: Want me to help you beat her up?
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    As an almost 30 year old, Americanized woman: Please, hire an attorney, move any money you can move, and research the legalities of what happened. Yes, I feel sorry for the ex, but it sounds like she's grasping at straws to get money, which she'll need to deal with her devastating diagnosis.

    As someone who's dying to visit Mother Russia for the first time in years: Want me to help you beat her up?
    As one who doesn't have much good to say abt the Russian authorities in general, I agree w/ Part I here on every count. I think that's your best bet regardless of what country you're in. The more you know abt how the legal system works (or doesn't), the better you can plan for protecting yourself.

    Re: Part II: I want in on that! *begins polishing brass knuckles*

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    sounds like a jerry springer show.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    Nah, doesn't have any midgets.

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkle Fuzzy View Post
    Nah, doesn't have any midgets.
    I'm 5'3 and 3/4''-is that close enough?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    It might work if you have a fluorescent blue Mohawk, and don't shave any body hair for about 6 months.

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    God/dess Sunnylexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: TML: My husband's ex wants child support money for a kid by another man

    Update for those still following:

    1) My husband met his ex. He told me she looked and acted crazy. From what he understood, it's not even the money she wants (he wouldn't be able to pay out that much) but rather him (quote: "Who cares about the child's father, it's you who I love. You know I couldn't have children with you anyway"). After he told her that wasn't gonna happen, especially after what she'd done, she acted up and started threatening him saying she had friends in the police (fun fact: those are actually HIS friends from back when he served in the police). He warned her about the hearings and the DNA tests and so, she answered "fat chance" and went away - nothing's been heard from her since.

    2) We hired an attorney. He dug up the paper trail and found out that, in her application, the ex insisted she and my husband were in a relationship even though they got formally divorced. As a proof, she used testimony of people they knew, saying she and my husband were seen shopping and visiting friends together. According to the attorney, despite of it being true the testimony was totally insufficient to make claims about my husband being the father of her child and the judge was supposed to know it. My husband never got notified about anything because his ex told his whereabouts were unknown (even though it wasn't true) and had all the papers sent to her address (that's how the simplified procedure works). We filed several complaints and the writ of error or whatever it's called and at the moment we are waiting for a call from the court. The execution proceedings have been terminated until the suit is settled. Unfortunately, my husband has to attend most meetings in person so he had to quit job because he's used up the whole year's vacation and he may have to drop all and go to our hometown any moment.

    3) The worst case scenario: even if he's obliged to pay the support, he can have it recalculated for the whole period by providing the income statement. As for the insane amount I posted about earlier, it was calculated based on the country average which is done when the defendant's income is unknown.

    P.S. TML stands for "Too Many Letters"))))
    Quote Originally Posted by MissJu View Post
    On cam, you can be unwashed, stinky but with makeup. And guys probably think you smell like roses.

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