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Thread: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

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    Veteran Member freckles's Avatar
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    Default Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Hey, gorgeouses! It has been months, maybe a year even, since I visited, but I figured I'd stop and say hi, and maybe get some reassurance from some of you on this. I'll be 40 in January, and (coincidentally) it looks like my stripping days are behind me... and i am kinda sad about it.

    A little history: I started stripping when I was 19 and worked full-time, solidly for 5 years, then quit out of the blue & joined the mainstream workforce, where I have been since. Got married, had a couple kids, etc. Over those years, I missed stripping, would dream about it at least once a week (still do, probably always will). A couple of years ago I got back into it, worked a handful of shifts at a couple different clubs and found a shell of what I remembered the experience to be like. There were no crowds, no tipping on stage (not foreal foreal) just deadness and a bunch of strippers sitting at the bar in hoodies playing on their phones. All this wasn't enough to discourage me. I just kept trying, looking for that awesome night I remembered being so common in the 90's... it just never happened. The whole mood was just so much less... celebratory? Because internet, I guess.

    Anyway, I never felt like my age was an issue, as I was always making as much, or more than the younger girls on any shift...but $100 is just sad for a stripper. That's what I bring home from my desk job, plus insurance and 401K. But, odd as this may sound, there is something about stripping that feeds my soul...

    I now have a bulging disk, and some neuropathy left over from an autoimmune neurological syndrome, that together cause at least a little pain everyday, sometimes enough to keep me in bed.
    I still work out when I'm feeling well enough, watch my diet pretty closely, and take impeccable care of my skin, so I probably *could* get back at it if my old achy bones would let me... but there's more.
    I live in an area where the clubs available are pretty much shite across the board, and recently, "my club", the one I loved and worked at in the 90's and now, closed down, out of the blue.
    So, no decent club + fucked up physical ouchiness = time to hang up the clear heels for good.
    This really, genuinely makes me sad. Sad for the state of the industry (at least around here), sad for my unfulfilled longings, sad for an end that seems to mark the beginning of middle age for me.
    Sooo... pep talks, maybe? Ideas on how I can scratch that expressive itch that stripping took care of for me? I know my husband is so sick of hearing "That was such a great song to strip to..." TIA, lovelies, you always have such great insight.

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    It's great to see you back. I saw one of your posts the other day while browsing and was thinking about you and figured you must have retired. I don't have much to say in the way of helpfulness, I was going to suggest camming and I'm sure it's got a lot more money potential in your area. But I don't know if camming can 'scratch that itch'.

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    God/dess Nikki_Fox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Sorry to hear you are going through medical issues. The economy was kickin butt back then and the internet was not in every home ( x 3 devices) like it is now. I dont see why you cant cam to fulfill your need to entertain. You would be in total control of your physical limitations. If you are able - set up a pole in your cam room - get some cool stage lights - disco ball etc.... Guys will get off on seeing you working the pole in whatever capacity you are capable of - they are not that hard to please. You may not be able to hang upside down but dancing/moving seductively around it - you know what I mean - There are so many niches in camming that you might find something else that is not so physically demanding to feed your soul. Forty is far from the end of the line - You still have 20 plus years left

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    If you don't mind me asking what state is this where you can only make $100 a night. I'm sure there is a club somewhere in that state with money. Sorry to hear about your medical issues. I think though if your 40 have a family and already have a career plus you have medical issues just give it up then unless your going to travel to where the $ is. Don't make matter worse. Either way goodluck to you.

    P.S. I hope when I quit I can just walk away. I'm sure its hard.

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    I kinda agree with Christina. And it might be the state you're in. I'm older too. And I have medical problems as well but Im still stripping. I plan on being in the biz a couple of more years. Maybe you can find another state and a decent place to work a couple of times a month.

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    Veteran Member freckles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Thanks, y'all. Going to another state really isn't an option, with the 8-5 Mon.-Fri. job and the kids and the husband, so that's out. I've never really been interested in camming. I don't know why.
    I think what I miss is feeling like a "star"... I know that sounds silly but I miss the stage mostly, dudes crowded around it, so much money up there when I was done I had to get champagne buckets to carry it off in... they would even make a bunch of noise during and after my set, like i had actually put on a show & impressed them. Even walking around the club, feeling 10 feet tall, flirting and feeling totally in charge... making $500 on a "meh" night... that's what I miss.
    I live in Mobile, AL, so... yeah. I suppose I could drive an hour to the Sammy's in Pensacola (I have done that a few times) but I got even more of the dead vibe there. Everything was just so... quiet. No real party atmosphere.
    So... my back decided it's shitty now, and there's the other thing, and the lack of clubs to work at. Even my husband, who would *never* try to tell me what to do, is like, "yeah, just let it be over".
    Y'know, I do still have all my outfits & shoes... I suppose after the kids go to bed I could put "Samantha" or "Scarlett" or "Red" back on and twirl around the kitchen... I could hang out here & read your stories & issues & stuff but as time goes on, I will have less and less to contribute, and will understand less and less of what you all are saying. I feel so old.
    Who knew the end of my stripping career would land me in a mid-life identity crisis.

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    God/dess Nikki_Fox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Why twirl in your kitchen for free - turn that cam on and get some gold for those skills - sign up at one of the tipping based sites - MFC or Chaturbate - make a show that is something you enjoy and satisfy your exhibitionism

    Sadly many cities are in the same situation as yours regarding the clubs - several closed in mine and many that are still open are not even worth working at according to my dancer friends - evolve and adapt bb- just be thankful you are not trying to feed your kids on the 100.00 a night club

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Is it possible you just miss that moment in time? Like you are missing the actual "time of life" you were in, and all that came with it; freedom, youth and having no responsibilities?

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Quote Originally Posted by freckles View Post
    But, odd as this may sound, there is something about stripping that feeds my soul...
    ^I completely understand this!

    If you are feeling up to it, you could always go back for a busy night or a few Saturdays during the busy season . Don't hang your heels up in sadness, frame them in your mind as a big part of your life and the beginning of another chapter.

    You were able to experience the industry when it was good and won't have to see the further decline of an industry you enjoyed working in like many of us, that's a blessing in many ways.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Quote Originally Posted by OliveJardin View Post
    You were able to experience the industry when it was good and won't have to see the further decline of an industry you enjoyed working in like many of us, that's a blessing in many ways.
    This so much. Personally I won't miss it very much when I'm completely done, and I'll go in on busier nights once in a while. I don't want to stick around to see how much worse things get.

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Cam it up!!! Create an account on MFC and bring your stripper game pronto. Most cam sites have changed to the online strip club vibe anyways so you're likely to do just fine.

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    Veteran Member freckles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Oh, the feelings... So, now I'm all misty because you all understand just like I knew you would, and at the same time intrigued by the idea of camming as I never have been before. I'll have to strut on over to that side of the boards and see what they have to say... Thank y'all again! <3

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Quote Originally Posted by Christina2013 View Post
    If you don't mind me asking what state is this where you can only make $100 a night. I'm sure there is a club somewhere in that state with money. Sorry to hear about your medical issues. I think though if your 40 have a family and already have a career plus you have medical issues just give it up then unless your going to travel to where the $ is. Don't make matter worse. Either way goodluck to you.

    P.S. I hope when I quit I can just walk away. I'm sure its hard.
    There are plenty of clubs out there in many states where $100 dollars a night is a good night. Those places are located in areas with lower income industries or have very restrictive laws (eg. No lapdances, bikinis must be worn at all times, etc.). In some states, an hour long drive is enough to find a better club, but that's not always the case. Or, if it's any club in southeast Virginia (Hampton Roads area) the shifts are only one or two hours long.





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    Veteran Member freckles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    There are plenty of clubs out there in many states where $100 dollars a night is a good night. Those places are located in areas with lower income industries or have very restrictive laws (eg. No lapdances, bikinis must be worn at all times, etc.). In some states, an hour long drive is enough to find a better club, but that's not always the case. Or, if it's any club in southeast Virginia (Hampton Roads area) the shifts are only one or two hours long.
    ...Like Mobile. There's not a ton of money in the city to begin with, and when you add extremely strictly enforced prohibitive city ordinances to the mix, you get dying strip clubs and hungry strippers. It's tough when no one is in the club in the first place, and the few that straggle in are nearly impossible to sell on your $30 air dance with pasties... It wasn't always that way, though.

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    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    ^^I think you said you would commute to P-Cola to work, right?





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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Aw, I think I feel you. Whenever I'm on hiatus (as I am right now) I really miss so many aspects of dancing and feel a pull back to it. I'm almost 30 and only imagine having maybe 5 more years left (and that's only if I don't have kids in the meantime... which I probably will in the coming few years ahh!) That said...I recently worked in a club with a woman around 46 or so and she was banking it. Sooo...is there any chance for you to do little strip trips?

    Another thought for you: Did you do pole much while you were dancing? I'm not crazy good at it, but at one point in between clubs I decided to buy a home pole. (An x-pole, getting a trusted brand is important) I've never been much into sports or going to the gym or anything, but what I noticed is I got a total high from doing pole at home. I then realized that some of the 'high' I equated with the club ($$$ and attention) was actually an andrenaline high from flipping upside down. LoL. It's also a great way to let out any kind of pent up energy through dance & its obviously good energy. (ANNDDD you CAN dance to that song you heard in the grocery store....AND that slow song you loved and knew would do great in the club but the dj never would play because it was too slow. haha.)

    Hope the suggestion helps!

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Hey Freckles!
    I missed you! I am sorry also to hear about your health issues..I hope you can find something 'on the side' that can work for you.
    Sorry I'm not mch help here.
    W.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    There have been times I would consider returning, only to see how horrible it is now. When I lookbat the good times I remember it's not like that anymore. Maybe you could do something like an amateur might? The last one I did wasn't to make money or to dance again but to relive the excitement. Ironically I did make money and received a job offer but decided against it.

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    There are plenty of clubs out there in many states where $100 dollars a night is a good night. Those places are located in areas with lower income industries or have very restrictive laws (eg. No lapdances, bikinis must be worn at all times, etc.). In some states, an hour long drive is enough to find a better club, but that's not always the case. Or, if it's any club in southeast Virginia (Hampton Roads area) the shifts are only one or two hours long.
    Yep Va is definitely a state where sadly $100 is good right now. Its sad bc all the girls fight for the late night weekends..Things rnt run fairly as a result of the majority of shifts being horribly dead and when the clubs get busy everyone isnt able to get the shifts...Unless u starve urself here its even more difficult to make money here. I would never recommend dancing to anyone who lives here. The money is inconsistent and not always very good...And if u r an older dancer it is even more difficult.

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Saying goodbye around 40 sometimes is a good idea. Where I live it seems when u hit ur late 20s u r old which is bullshit. Idk if I will even make it to 40...

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Quote Originally Posted by dezire View Post
    Yep Va is definitely a state where sadly $100 is good right now. Its sad bc all the girls fight for the late night weekends..Things rnt run fairly as a result of the majority of shifts being horribly dead and when the clubs get busy everyone isnt able to get the shifts...Unless u starve urself here its even more difficult to make money here. I would never recommend dancing to anyone who lives here. The money is inconsistent and not always very good...And if u r an older dancer it is even more difficult.
    I couldn't stand most clubs in southeast Virginia, so whenever it was possible I'd commuted to Richmond, DC, places around north NC, and (once) Baltimore. The Headlighs clubs in the Portsmouth-Chesapeake area were schedule nazis and tough with their dancers. RC's and Clancy's in Norfolk were schedule nazis as well. All those clubs (the HL and the ones in Norfolk) had very short schedules as well. I'm so happy I left that area in 2012.





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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    I couldn't stand most clubs in southeast Virginia, so whenever it was possible I'd commuted to Richmond, DC, places around north NC, and (once) Baltimore. The Headlighs clubs in the Portsmouth-Chesapeake area were schedule nazis and tough with their dancers. RC's and Clancy's in Norfolk were schedule nazis as well. All those clubs (the HL and the ones in Norfolk) had very short schedules as well. I'm so happy I left that area in 2012.
    I understand all of that ...It isnt a good place to make money...The competitiveness is brutal..Everyone has flaws..Even the most beautiful women that dance here have visible flaws..Not many down to earth girls here..I pretty much keep my distance..They cant be trusted..Learned that years ago. I want out of this business by 40 if I even make it that long..

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    This post is super long, y'all. No judgment from me if you don't have the time or will to read it!
    __________________________________________________ _______________________________

    I love this thread, and I love what you expressed, freckles.

    Like you, I also experience periods of extreme nostalgia for the industry. I'll go through periods where I obsess over Club Chat discussions, plan never-gonna-happen strip trips, and stalk club photos online. These happy, misty feelings are always cured by a night in an actual club! When you've been away from the industry for X years, it's easy to forget about all of the not-so-glamorous parts of stripping. Some of these elements were always part of the job, but are less memorable due to the high cash flow of way-back-when. Some of these elements are new. I imagine this rose-colored-glasses effect would be exaggerated by the fact that you danced back when it really was more glamorous than not! I started dancing around 2006, and even I experienced some of the 'glow' of the industry before the recession: $20 tips on stage were common, we'd have multiple girls on our small stage soon after the club opened its doors, and money would flow from open 'til close.

    Now, the vast majority of clubs are extremely sharky, customers are very defensive and clammed up due to the sharp hustle, and significant tipping on stage is becoming less common. The shoes are taller, the outfits are skimpier, and the girls are cattier. Some clubs are so dark that you can't even appreciate the appearance of the dancer in front of you, further emphasizing the clientele's I'm-here-to-get-off mentality, and further de-emphasizing the beauty and skills of the strippers themselves. Obviously, the internet has had a huge effect on the industry as well.

    Moving on...it's important that you come to terms with the fact that, for most of us, the glamorous part of the industry is dead (if you're staring at your screen quizzically right now, count yourself lucky). We need to accept that no amount of hoping will bring the 90's and early 2000's back. Mourn those times with a smile - as someone else said, you're lucky for having experienced them. Many of us have largely dark memories of dancing behind us - hard nights where we returned home with six feet of steel built up between us and the rest of the world. You're one of the few who can reminisce about 'the good ol' days.' Also, as someone else mentioned, you are very lucky in that you're in a position where you can dabble in the industry without needing to hit a money quota. Stripping is a fucking nightmare when you both need the money you're making and rarely break $100/shift. Not being in that position is a privilege.

    Once you're done mourning - I'm guessing you're already at this point - you need to come up with the primary reason for why it is that you're still feeling the gravitational pull towards dancing. If it's strictly for the money, and you've clarified that in your head, then that will lead you down one path (make peace with working in the low-earnings-ceiling clubs in your town consistently (an extra $100/week in your pocket is never a bad thing), or driving an hour away to a club with higher earnings potential). If it's more for the glamour and the experience, then that would lead you down a different path (consider taking a strip trip once a year to a club that has retained the qualities you look for, even if the money isn't insane). If it's more for the attention from men, consider camming. If it's more about wanting to re-live the memories, then keep those sacred, and let stripping go.

    It sounds to me like you're in an "I want it all!" position in your life. Just remember, whether you're 40 years old or 18, I can assure you that every single one of us is in that position of wanting it all! You just need to decide if stripping has any appropriate place in the life you have right now, or if it would be too damaging to keep polluting your positive memories with new, negative experiences. I've personally chosen the middle ground. I've compartmentalized my first two years of stripping in my head - those were good times filled with good memories that I will always have. Everything after that I have done strictly for financial gain. Yes, it has turned me into an anxiety-ridden shark whenever I dance, but I've at least come to peace with stripping then vs. stripping now.


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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    That is a fantastic post. I remember the great nights where I made several hundred being clean but don't want to remember the horrible nights where I made little. I am glad I have my memories but I have to remember it's not long that now and never will be.

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    Default Re: Totally retired now, and a little depressed about it

    Yikes...did my monster post kill this thread?

    freckles - any updates?

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