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Thread: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

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    Default can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Ugh last night some nasty guy i call "creepy boner dude" (because he always wears sweatpants and gets a huge boner) came in and it was so slow, i hustled him and sold him a dance even though i don't really like dancing for him that much. Then he got another one and about halfway through he grabbed my face and pecked me on the lips ewwwww. I got super pissed off and slapped the guy which is totally out of character for me. He got super offended and stormed out of the club saying he'd never be back. At least the staff was on my side - they had a nickname for him too "25 cent guy" because thats all he ever tipped the bartender. I might have shed a couple tears and told my manager. She was like "good riddance".

    i hate when stuff like that happens, I need to remember not to drink too much because i can't control my emotions as much. Do you think i overreacted? Can I get in trouble for slapping someone like that? I mean that guy was soo offended that i slapped him, if i did that to the wrong person i wouldn't want them to take me to court or something. Not like i think i did anything wrong really because he totally broke the rules. Thoughts?

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    I don't think you overreacted at all. That's way out of line. Your manager didn't seem to care, so I think you are in the clear.

    The only time anyone really gets in trouble for that stuff is if the guy is a big spender at the bar/in VIP fees or rooms, in which case the manager might not want to lose the business.

    As far as court... I doubt a guy would be such a puss that he'd press charges on a stripper for slapping him, especially when he's gotta know he totally deserved it. I can't even imagine presenting that to a jury; "I kissed her when I wasn't supposed to touch to begin with and she slapped me, wahhhhh!" I'd laugh him out of the courtroom if I was the judge.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Naw no worries. If you are ever reported to the cops for hitting a jerk customer, just say he was saying horror movie style crazy things and you panicked and thought he was going to attack you. Most cops laugh at guys like this. Of course don't go poking eyes out or breaking teeth, that's where the issues goes into lawsuit territory.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Slapping -- no, most of the time. But don't go hitting them so hard that you cause major damage i.e. broken teeth, or drawing blood. As Snuffle said, that's where you can get into trouble.

    The other thing is, NEVER hit a customer unless you're prepared to get hit back. There is nothing at all wrong w/ defending yourself, but remember they are men & they can cause a lot more damage to you per hit than you can to them. It doesn't happen often IME, but the biggest trouble I've seen slap-happy girls get into wasn't from mgmt, it was from the customer that got super-offended that 'that bitch thought she was gonna put me in mah place!' If you don't know how to handle a possible counter-attack, the best thing to do is end the dance immediately & call for backup.

    ETA: if drinking makes it hard for you to control your emotions, maybe forget abt 'cutting back' & just not drink at all? This job is taxing enough w/o adding alchol to the mix, & there are plenty of ways around the pressure customers might put on you to drink.
    Last edited by Aniela; 01-04-2015 at 07:02 PM.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    There's a few men I'd like to slap..


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    No, you're not gonna get in trouble for slapping a customer. Even if cops do get called, they're gonna laugh at a red cheek. As long as you're not seriously fucking the guy up, the biggest concern in their minds will usually be hiding where/how they got whatever injury.

    As Aniela pointed out, though, do be careful of that one asshole in ten who will want to beat on you for trying to put them in their place. This has thankfully never been an issue I've dealt with or have heard about from girls I've worked with, but there are guys like that out there. Get one too many beers in an abuser and he'll forget for a minute that you're not his wife if you piss him off. Make sure you really are able to handle yourself or have quickly available backup.

    I would regularly kick annoying customers in the crotch or head or kick drinks and ashtrays into their laps if they bothered me on stage because it could be explained away as "accidents." Whether they realize it was on purpose or not, they get the message to get the fuck away from my tip rail. I've only smacked a handful of customers, but always on the head where any possible mark was hidden in their hair. Just once have I really "come at" a customer before, and staff managed to break it up before I actually hit him; lucky him because I'd already come out of my shoes, was dragging him back by his collar, and was seriously a matter of seconds away from jumping off that stage with fists flying. You don't try to make a fool of me to impress your new buddies by stealing off my stage!
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    ^ "Just once have I really "come at" a customer before, and staff managed to break it up before I actually hit him; lucky him because I'd already come out of my shoes, was dragging him back by his collar, and was seriously a matter of seconds away from jumping off that stage with fists flying. You don't try to make a fool of me to impress your new buddies by stealing off my stage!" Aniela...........

    http://i1143.photobucket.com/albums/...ps3e3070dd.gif

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    I've smacked a customer once for being offensive and using n word. But after I told him not cool to talk like that and he said he probably deserved to be slapped so I slapped him. It didnt break any skin or leave any marks so I think he was okay.

    Another time I was very tipsy and got a customer who tried to short me money. I was so livid I wanted to stomp my heel deep into his left testicle and kick his a$$ right there so I grabbed at his neck not thinking...until he shoved me off him...then I realized he was stronger than me and could hurt me...so I backed off and took a loss. I didn't want to lose everything over some cheap c*cksucker.

    Some of these guys are a$$holes and deserved to have some sense slapped into them but, Like others mention before you never know...not all men are gentlemen and some WILL hit a woman with equal or greater force.

    Now I rarely drink like this. Getting drunk or even tipsy it's harder for me to tell the intoxicated dudes (which I now ask them for money upfront) so I keep alcohol to minimum to keep the hustle tight.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    ^ "Just once have I really "come at" a customer before, and staff managed to break it up before I actually hit him; lucky him because I'd already come out of my shoes, was dragging him back by his collar, and was seriously a matter of seconds away from jumping off that stage with fists flying. You don't try to make a fool of me to impress your new buddies by stealing off my stage!" Aniela...........
    Hey now, that one wasn't me! At least, not that one in particular ¤shuffles feet nonchalantly¤

    Love the Firebreather tho! I would take that as a compliment.

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    It took a long time to stop slapping assholes out of sheer impulse, but on edgecases where they're not quite threatening but definitely crossing a line, a loud "NO!" and a bop on the nose is satisfying and comes across less threateningly than a slap IME. Usually they're like, "Huh?" Then I can compose myself and sweetly say, "If you act like a dog you will be treated like one." I don't think it's still taught in dog training classes because I heard it was inhumane later on, but that's what I was told to do in 1996 by a trainer. They'll probably get the reference.

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    A similar style, but more strategic approach from Odette from this thread last year: https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...-going-too-far

    "If a guy tries to cross lines with me, my first line of defence is the 3 chances. First time a cute reminder of what the rules are. Second time a more firm warning that includes a reference to "getting fired" or "cameras" or some other external enforcement. Third time, I will literally grab their hands, slam them back behind their head, sometimes putting my heel in close proximity to their crotch for good measure, lean in, shove my boobs in their face and say something sassy like "kitty scratches when you pull her tail, so if you want to keep those pretty blue eyes looking as fine as they do you're going to pet me how I like it, ok sweetie?" while stroking their hair or touching their shoulders or chest. A little bit of rough like you mean business and if they want to try and assault you they're not going to have an easy time of it, a bit of domme to put you firmly in charge, and a touch of sexy to hopefully keep their wallet going a bit longer and them pussywhipped for the rest of your dancing."

    Thanks again if you're still out there Odette!

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?



    Not if you have baby powder and a pimp hand!
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    That customer would have wished for a dragon with how pissed I was! I've mentioned this incident in other threads. He was the douchebag that showed off tipping me a Benji to the other guys when I started pushing them away so waiting customers could come up after they made it rain. The second it left his hand and landed on the stage, I made to stomp on it and he yanked it back just in the nick of time to stuff in his pocket, laughing like the cat who got the canary. Nope nope. Signaled my "backup chick" to collect my money and grabbed hold of his collar, yanking him back while I unbuckled and kicked off my shoes. Crowd got a kick out of the whole scene. He was terrified while I'm screaming "you can't steal off my stage, motherfucker! You put it down, it's mine! Give that shit back before I beat it out of you!" And I meant it too. I was ready to kick him in the balls, gouge his fucking eyes out with my nails, and knock every last one of his teeth loose- hell, I'd have clawed his face off while riding him piggyback style if I had to.
    Do not fuck with a 5'1", sexually frustrated, PMSing, bipolar, redheaded stripper. That poor bastard picked the wrong day. He's lucky I calmed down enough to say "he can stay if he gives me the money or he can get the fuck out regardless" when staff broke it up. If he had stayed without giving me the money, I would have attacked him at some point that night.

    On the upside, there were a lot customers with a crazy chick fetish that night. Ka-ching!
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    I had a dude tip me $100 "by accident". I'm like shiiiiit once it lands on the stage it's mine! This a$$hole stalked me around the club and asked me for the money back. I was pissed and told manager. Manger told me if dude looked broke then it probably was an accident and to give the money back. Ugh!!!! Well he end up buying dances from me for 'being honest' glad he spent something but I still wanted to smack his a$$ for causing me mental distress while I was in the middle of my hustle.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Ugh I can't resist commiserating with one of my own slightly on topic fakeout-hundred tales now. My favorite revenge was when I was still so new I didn't know to look over my shoulder while turning around and bending over. As I was doing that the asshole shuffled around, brushed a bill against my leg, and asked "What would you do for this Benjamin?" [I feel a bare dick against my thigh.] 19 year old lol1337a whips around, hits him just hard enough to confuse him, grabs the bill and yells "Nothing!" The bouncer hears me yell from the private room and rushes in, asking me what he did to me. I point to the guy's now limp naked dick, and the bouncer grabs him by the collar and shoves him down [sadly only three] stairs. The hundred was in my hand the whole time, and it was the biggest 'tip' on a $25 dance I'd ever gotten from a customer at the time.

    I miss clubs where managers okay justice so very much. It's been so long. Cheers OP, and slap just as often/hard as you can get away with.

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    Veteran Member LexiConn's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    I've slapped three customers (hard, on purpose, mean) in the last year. One was talking mad shit and made my friend cry. Even after being told to shut up by several people
    Another talked shit to me so vile and nasty and uncalled for that I had no choice.
    Another pestered the everliving fuck out of me during a lap dance for ITC and OTC and the last straw was when he grabbed me and tried to turn my light contact dance into more.

    I've never gotten in trouble for it.

    I don't punch, I don't attack with glasses or bottles. That's it, I won't leave a mark or get charged for assault but I absolutely will put someone in their place if they are being an absolutely horrible human being.

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    thanks for the reassurance ladies, looking back with perspective i can't believe i was even worried


    Quote Originally Posted by Naida View Post
    Do not fuck with a 5'1", sexually frustrated, PMSing, bipolar, redheaded stripper.
    hahaha duly noted

    ive had bachelor parties tip me a hundred dollars to slap the bachelor because i said i was terrible at it. I was terrible at it so they kept making me do it until it was up to their standards of slapping. That was pretty fun.

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    Veteran Member Warped's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    I guess it depends on the club but I punch/slap guys all the time. Just last week I was on stage a guy said something rude and I slapped him, security came running over no questions asked and kicked him out based on my reaction (and that's why I tip my security well lol).

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    I've only got in trouble once, but that club was a brothel anyway lol.

    In my opinion they dont need to 3 warnings, 2 is enough.
    If they touch some place i dont want, or if they try to kiss me, the first time I playfully but firmly tell them 'No i do not allow that'
    If they try a second a time, I stop dancing and threaten to walk. That usually (if they're serious and respect me) will make them behave.

    If they dont a go for a third time this is how it works:
    try to kiss or lick me, you get slapped.
    try to finger me, I will bend your fingers backwards

    I don't sugar coat my boundaries, if I don't want someone touching me somewhere I make it crystal clear that I don't like it. It may have cost me money sometimes, but the regulars and customers I have absolutely love and respect that I stick to my guns. The manager at my club knows my rule and how I try to handle touchy customers so if something happens he knows that the customer clearly crossed a line, because I give 2 fair warnings.

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Causing someone to think (and fear) that you are going to strike them is assault. Actually slapping them is battery. Legally, you'd be better off finding another way to express your frustration about another person. Legally, you are not allowed to lay your hands on another in anger. (even if...)

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Warped View Post
    (and that's why I tip my security well lol).
    Always tip security. If there is only one type of staff (besides DJ) that you can afford to tip, make it security. If you can only manage a dollar tip some nights, make it a point to give them that damn dollar. Security will always remember and defend like loyal wolves the dancers that tip them every night.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondWhip View Post
    I don't sugar coat my boundaries, if I don't want someone touching me somewhere I make it crystal clear that I don't like it. It may have cost me money sometimes, but the regulars and customers I have absolutely love and respect that I stick to my guns. The manager at my club knows my rule and how I try to handle touchy customers so if something happens he knows that the customer clearly crossed a line, because I give 2 fair warnings.
    I call this my Three Strikes. First strike, I give a flirty/playful warning that we'll get in trouble. Second strike, I firmly say that the behavior is not okay and will leave if it persists. Third strike, I walk out and report it to security. It's a huge part of what's prevented me from being violent during dances. Know your boundaries and stick to them.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    I've kicked men with my stripper shoes on, before and never got in trouble with either the club or the police. Just remember this line: "Officer, he sexually assaulted me and I was simply defending myself."

    On a side note, don't dance for guys that are creepy like that. In the end, your attitude will suffer and the nice guys won't be interested in you if you are sulky/ upset over a creeper. The other option is to just make your dance prices high enough to put up with creepy-sweatpants-boner-guy. Either he'll pony up or he'll move on.

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    Featured Member Naida's Avatar
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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post
    The other option is to just make your dance prices high enough to put up with creepy-sweatpants-boner-guy. Either he'll pony up or he'll move on.
    This actually sounds like a great idea. I charge an extra $5 on regular dances for having to speak what little Spanish I know. Maybe charge an extra $10 (or whatever for other dances) for Sweatpants Boner Guy?
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Velvette View Post
    Causing someone to think (and fear) that you are going to strike them is assault. Actually slapping them is battery. Legally, you'd be better off finding another way to express your frustration about another person. Legally, you are not allowed to lay your hands on another in anger. (even if...)
    It depends on the circumstances. If a customer is sexually assaulting a dancer, she is within her legal rights to physically stop him from assaulting her as long as the force used is proportionate to the assault and that the use of force stops when the attacker stops attacking.

    A guy pulling his dick out, but not touching the dancer? is nasty but a dancer who beats the piss out of him for it would be legally wrong. Decking a guy who is trying to pull a dancers thong off is justified self defense. Now, if a dancer in this situation has the customer on the floor and is still beating him up after he's no longer trying to remove her thong, she is now also guilty of assault.

    Bear in mind, legal statutes depend on the state, county and/ or city where the incident takes place but self defense standards tend to be pretty similar in most jurisdictions.

    As far as a civil suit goes, someone who's more familiar with tort law need to chime in. Whether a customer could recover damages for injuries sustained while committing a crime is highly dependant on jurisdiction.

    However, just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should or that it's wise. I know some seemingly weak people who could take out a linebacker with no problem. Don't start a fight you can't finish.

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    Default Re: can you get in trouble for slapping a guy?

    I never slapped-that I can remember-lol. Usually "accidentally" spilled their drinks in their laps. Bonus points if it was coffee. Also, "accidentally" stepped on their feet/hands with those big ole stripper shoes/boots. Not one assault charge, ever
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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