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Thread: WTF is wrong with this generation?

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    Default WTF is wrong with this generation?

    After dealing with my own bullshit ex and reading some other threads here, I'm left wondering what went wrong with my generation. The assholery, the self absorption, the blatant irresponsibility. I just don't get it.

    While most of the threads here are about guys, there's no shortage of this bullshit from women either. I've watched a girl cry about how she's going to pay her bills after getting fired for posessing and using drugs at work, after several warnings. I've heard a girl bitch that nobody's "working together" when she's universally hated for nosing in on other girls while they're hustling and talking shit about dancers she's jealous of. The club rip off artist bitches that customers refuse to pay her. A dancer got a huge ticket and has to go to court because her child was playing in the street while she was "in the bathroom" and it's SO unfair!

    What happened? I'm sure that there are plenty of fuckups in my parent's generation but... Was it this widespread? Choosing material crap over taking a sick animal to the vet? Racking up debt and expecting other people to pay it? Fucking up so bad that you get fired from a club that rarely fires anyone for anything?

    I don't get it and thinking about what's going to happen to the children of Generation Fuckup scares the hell out of me.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Trust me, it is the way it is.

    Remember hippies? All those people at Woodstock who didn't pay to get in, didn't have jobs, did lots of drugs and didn't bathe? Yup, now they run the world.

    There are plenty of people who are my age and can't keep their shit together. Look at how many threads about useless parents.

    While birth rates are low, the lack of a significant upswing in crime in the last 6 years actually shows to me that this generation has more on the ball than the earlier ones. It is one of the first recessions where this has been true, so maybe it is not all bad

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    I dunno, my parents were hippies and they managed to get graduate degrees, raise one biological child and one adopted child to be responsible adults. I've met a lot of old school punks that did the same.

    I'm sure there are plenty of my generation who are maturing and becoming responsible adults. Most of the posters here are a testament to that. Maybe it's the people I see on a regular basis but... it seems like my generation is way behind the curve.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Same thing that is wrong with EVERY generation. LOL Many lessens have to be learned the hard way, for some many times over & over again. There will always be a few who never learn & will be in the same situation they cry about now, 50 years from now.

    Where as others will learn & grow from it.

    As we get older, hopefully wiser. Focus on the negative & it will be all you see. There is much hope, love & the world getting better too.

    Smooches,
    Sam

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    everyone gets a trophy - being given to much - not being taught manners - respect - the pride you get from working to EARN something - this environment has created a generation of ENTITLED BRATS who think the world owes them something

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    ^I feel like parenting has become too soft. I'm not advocating physical punishment, but we've done a 180. Parents are so soft on their kids now, paying and supporting them for way too long and not forcing them to grow up and be adults, which means you've got a lot of grown children running around the world. Even with younger kids I'm shocked at how parents just shrug and walk away. My niece doesn't eat anything when she comes to dinner, just bread, she's 25 pounds overweight and is 9 years old, and is downright rude about turning dishes down, saying "I don't want it it's gross"... if I had said that to my mother she would have grabbed my hand, slammed my bedroom behind me, and said fine you're not eating tonight. Even when I went for a nanny job interview one of the mums told me she wasn't going to hire me because I was too harsh. My harshness was explaining to her son that he needed to say "please" and "thank you" and that is was rude to not say good bye to people. I don't know why parents are so soft sometimes, it's honestly NOT showing love to your children to let them do whatever they want, showing them love is disciplining them, explaining to them what is right and not right when it comes to manners and interaction with others... how else are they going to learn?

    So I don't really feel like it's this generation and when I see my older friends type crap about hating millennials on Facebook is annoys me, because I know tons of people my age who are very responsible and polite and ambitious and then I know people who are neither of those things. There's just some really lazy parents out there who don't teach their kids anything, can't be bothered to discipline them, and just keep giving them money to avoid having to deal with them.

    //end rant

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    I'm not really just ragging on Millenials. I'm from the tail end of Generation X and I see 35- 40 year olds pulling this crap.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    What parents don't teach life will only it will be a harder lesson learned.

    My parents taught me to be nice & polite no matter how badly others treat you. Cause two wrongs don't make it right. I learned the hard way, do me wrong is just wrong & I will not be nice in return. Wrong gets revenge from me to teach them a lesson they will never forget.

    Sam

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    ^I feel like parenting has become too soft. I'm not advocating physical punishment, but we've done a 180. Parents are so soft on their kids now, paying and supporting them for way too long and not forcing them to grow up and be adults, which means you've got a lot of grown children running around the world. Even with younger kids I'm shocked at how parents just shrug and walk away. My niece doesn't eat anything when she comes to dinner, just bread, she's 25 pounds overweight and is 9 years old, and is downright rude about turning dishes down, saying "I don't want it it's gross"... if I had said that to my mother she would have grabbed my hand, slammed my bedroom behind me, and said fine you're not eating tonight. Even when I went for a nanny job interview one of the mums told me she wasn't going to hire me because I was too harsh. My harshness was explaining to her son that he needed to say "please" and "thank you" and that is was rude to not say good bye to people. I don't know why parents are so soft sometimes, it's honestly NOT showing love to your children to let them do whatever they want, showing them love is disciplining them, explaining to them what is right and not right when it comes to manners and interaction with others... how else are they going to learn?

    So I don't really feel like it's this generation and when I see my older friends type crap about hating millennials on Facebook is annoys me, because I know tons of people my age who are very responsible and polite and ambitious and then I know people who are neither of those things. There's just some really lazy parents out there who don't teach their kids anything, can't be bothered to discipline them, and just keep giving them money to avoid having to deal with them.

    //end rant
    Audrey I am totally on the same page lol I think I've had the exact same rant plenty of times before!! We definitely have done a 180...parents used to be really damn harsh -- too harsh sometimes -- and now these days they're just the opposite! Kids don't know the word "no" !

    I have a friend who works in elementary education and she told me that a lot of daycares/preschools are not allowed to tell the kids no or discipline the kids (remember time out? Apparently it's a thing of the past.); rather, they're supposed to practice "positive redirection" where a misbehaving child is distracted to a new activity. I guess bratty kids were being put in "time out" and then when sit was time for a meal or snack, bratty children would refuse. But then they would go tell their parents that they were "put in time out without being allowed to eat," thus causing the parents to mad at the child care provider. Discipline and manners seem to be almost nonexistent these days.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Quote Originally Posted by kirakonstantin View Post
    I'm not really just ragging on Millenials. I'm from the tail end of Generation X and I see 35- 40 year olds pulling this crap.
    I feel like this soft parenting has been going on for a few decades now, not just for millennials. My mum talks about getting hit with a wooden spoon in the 60s/70s, I feel like once the 80s started this wishy-washy parenting thing became super popular. I'm certainly not advocating hitting children with wooden spoons but I feel like we all ran so far away from that we're at the other end of the spectrum now. I know a lot of people blame it on the 'nuclear' family falling apart, divorce rates increasing, mothers going back to work and not being around, but my ex is the biggest man-child ever and he had a stay at home mom, parents never divorced, lots of money... they were just fucking lazy and couldn't be bothered.

    I mean, even on the plane from LA to London, I never heard one person besides me say "thank you" to the stewardess who was walking down the aisle serving everyone food... people are just rude. But if no one teaches you that it's important to say thank you, well...

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Honestly, I don't know if it's that there's more lazy, fuck-up assholes these days, or if it's just that it's more obvious, and more reinforced these days. Back in the day, there wasn't facebook and blogs and 24/7 news cycles to constantly capture the fuck-uppery of every loser on the planet. They still existed, but you didn't see it day-in and day-out unless you surrounded yourself with such people IRL.

    There also didn't used to be instantaneous reward for being an asshole. Back in the day, if you truly wanted to be some "badass" asshole, or support some badass asshole, you had to do it to people's faces, not hide behind a keyboard. Now, anybody with the simplest pissy thought in their head can type shit from an anonymous screen name that they would never have guts to say in real life, or they can jump on the bandwagon of virtually "high-fiving" assholes that they would never associate with IRL. And, before the internet, if you wanted to be a hippy or a "burnout" or whatever, you had to actually get out and find other people to reinforce that. That, at least, took some semblance of effort - and if you didn't possess that effort, then you probably got whipped into shape by the put-together people around you. Now? A few clicks, and one douchey loser can always find a bunch of virtual douchey-loser friends to pile on the justification as to why being a douchey loser is A-OK.

    Basically, it's the phenomenon of you can find something to back up any viewpoint on the internet, rather than have to listen to the people immediately around you nowadays. I don't think it's that more people are "inherently" screwed-up, but technology and connectedness have made the ones who are prone to being screwed-up have easier access to "information" that feeds their delusional views. It's just easierto be a "justified" lazy loser these days. And the rest of us, unfortunately, have easier access to witnessing their every fuck-up, so it seems more prominent.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Everyone always thinks the latest generation is the worst one ever, and yet somehow shit keeps getting better.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    It started with Generation X and has just gotten progressively worse to the point of where we are beginning to notice how poorly we are doing at raising children. No one is allowed to actually discipline children anymore, children are no long required to earn anything, everyone is concerned about the rights of children, nothing is their fault. Somewhere around the late 70's kids started to be thrown into these protective bubbles where they needed to be shielded from everything including the consequences of their own actions. With each succeeding generation it has become more widespread. Add to that parents that are too wrapped up in their lives/careers to pay attention to their children, and flip side of that, the parents that have work like crazy just to make ends meet and don't have the time/energy to properly raise their children. When these children become adults in their own right, they are not prepared for the harsh reality of real life. They go from a carefree existence to a world that expects them to now be responsible, when they have never had to deal with it and they don't how to handle it. So they fall back to what worked when they were kids.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Did you see the guy in New York who killed his father yesterday - he killed him for reducing his weekly allowance from 400 a week to 300 - I think he was 30 something

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki_Fox View Post
    Did you see the guy in New York who killed his father yesterday - he killed him for reducing his weekly allowance from 400 a week to 300 - I think he was 30 something
    There are so many things wrong with that I don't even know where to begin!

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    The kids with lousy parents rub off on the good kids and dilute the influence their parents have on them. This and an irritating issue with a 5th grade teacher suffering from a broken givadamn, is the reason my daughter was home schooled the last 5 1/2 years of her primary education. She has worked a paying job since she was 14, started college with dual enrollment at 16, and graduated high school with a 3.79 GPA.

    She started Equine industry bachelors program at a small private college at 17, and is sharing a house with her aunt near the school.

    I have no qualms whatsoever about putting her in my 7500# truck with trailer attached and send her across the state loaded with horses. She is very responsible for the most part and has no patience for the teen drama her public school friend are always involved with.

    I have other friends with kids just as mature. One 15 year old girl has her own independent dairy and produces organic, unpasteurized milk and cream. She has somewhere around $10k saved up for college.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    I frequently wonder the same thing OP. I wonder it when I see five new threads asking the same three questions in Newbie Board, & there are current answers as recent as a single page back. Can't even handle running an internet search, how the hell are you going to make it as a stripper if you're that unable or unwilling to do for yourself? So lazy.

    It's the culture of instant-gratification & entitlement, I agree that parents are largely too soft anymore. While I'm not for giving your kid a concussion every time he mouths off, kids need to learn consequences from an early age. I think the increasingly cavalier attitude toward gov't-supplied welfare also exacerbates the problem. There was a thread on here awhile back where a girl was wondering abt what to do re: her unplanned pregnancy, & sm posters were seriously telling her to go ahead & have the kid & go on welfare. More of the 'Let's keep doing stupid shit, & let other ppl's $$$ bail us out!' mentality.

    I've asked my parents the same question, & whether it was as bad during their generation. My dad's answer was that his generation certainly had its share of supreme fk-ups, but his parents'+grandparents' generations had much longer memories (economically & morally esp) & tried to instill those memories into their offspring's upbringing. I think that's a lot of what's missing from current parenting -- economically for example, not many younger parents remember surviving by bartering w/ neighbours & canning rabbits & squirrels, & they don't really care to learn anything from the OFs who do. Now that addiction/alcoholism is recognised as a disease (& I don't think there's anything inherently wrong w/ that), there is much less demand from addicts to take responsibility for themselves & the havoc they wreak on others. Parents are so obsessed w/ raising 'the perfect kid' that they overthink normal kid behaviours, or mere personality quirks, & now EVERY KID has ADD/ADHD/autism/God knows whatever else. Kids don't learn from their mistakes bc they are not permitted to make any, or they are not permitted to be blamed when they do.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    People suck. Period.





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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    1) Bad parenting and 2) bad genes. I have three nephews between the age of 18 and 23 and they are the typical sad sack young men of today. Frankly it's a miracle they are halfway normal b/c one parent was an absent drug addict.

    I noticed as a teenager that people in their 20s around me (1990s) were struggling financially, were often unhappy in early marriages and often counted on using the TV as a way to get the kids to kill time (when you're broke you can't spend money on cool sports accessories or music lessons, you let the kids veg out in front of the TV.)

    Sooooo some of the sad underachievers you see today are the products of the struggling/sad-sack middle class. There wasn't time, money or interest to give them culture.'

    On a related note, a teenaged guy made my day when he bought a box full of tools at our yard sale, saying he "wanted his own tools." Seriously, how many teenagers do you know that understand the value of gaining handyman skills?

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

    ― Albert Einstein

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    There's a running theory that people develop traits on the narcissistic spectrum for a couple of reasons.

    The first is emotional neglect. Children need to be hugged and praised for their accomplishments when they deserve it in order to thrive. When a parent doesn't do these things, a common response from the child is to either legitimately overachieve and brag about their accomplishments, or if they can't overachieve, simply self-aggrandize in a bid for their parents' approval. When it doesn't work, they raise the stakes over and over until lo and behold, you have a very narcissistic person. Insecure yet self-aggrandizing.

    The other reason is being raised by one (or worse, two) people who are very high on the narcissism spectrum. If a child is the 'golden child,' (self-explanatory, right?) they are told they're the best, and what's worse, only have narcissism modeled for them. In many cases they come out narcissistic themselves. (Tangent -- with the most severely narcissistic parents, if they despise, ignore, or alternate between any of the above with their child, he or she may come across as more narcissistic than they actually are because, once again, modeling. I'm one of these lucky people myself and there are a lot of us.)

    Anyway, if you're still with me, it's arguable that the reason why narcissism is such a problem today is due to generational styles of parenting. I'm the millionth person to state this in the thread, but I'd like to elaborate.

    Baby boomers were born during a series of wars which took fathers away and caused mothers to join the workforce. If they had both parents, they were often distracted to say the least. They were perhaps the most 'ignored' children of any generation around today. (Correct me if I'm wrong -- I wasn't there). So this leads to many narcissists born from neglect.

    The tail end of Gen X and Millennials have been raised by a large percentage of narcissistic parents as a result. Luckily most parents with narcissistic traits aren't total monsters, but it has led to the trophy for every kid phenomenon. They're at best trying to prevent the damage done to them as children, and at worst viewing their child as an extension of their flawless, wonderful, incredible best parent ever selves.

    And, of course, there are those all those mystical 'normal' families with 'well-adjusted' children out there! Are they out there?

    Anyway, that's the theory I found the most compelling, would love to hear what others think.
    Last edited by lol1337a; 01-08-2015 at 03:22 PM. Reason: no grasp of the english languague

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

    ― Albert Einstein
    That's good.

    I blame a lot of the current selfishness on television and music videos. You want to be cool, you have to act like an arrogant asshole, insult women to get laid, tell the guys 'Yeah I fucked your bitch' for extra points, etc.

    It never fails to amaze me how many times people with the intelligence of a farm animal insist on 'correcting' the thinking of others, sometimes under the auspices of offering 'advice'.

    But I don't really think it's THAT much worse than it has ever been. History is replete with generations hell bent on self-destruction. We are so close to what the Roman Empire was, just as it went over the crest into decline. Humanity does seem to have this tendency to charge full speed over cliffs.
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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    I cannot help but attribute this to the reality that people don't know what they are supposed to be anymore.

    In previous generations, young men were forced to grow up more quickly. They were expected to be providers and protectors. So much has changed now. For starters, more women are succeeding in the workforce than ever before. And for those who are not, public assistance, including food, housing and health insurance, along with court ordered child support, all allow single mothers to raise children without the need for men to serve in those same roles. Now yes these things also served to liberate women from controlling and/or abusive SOs, but the flip side is that we now have a generation of young men who have been let off the hook for taking personal responsibility for their actions. Net-net, it cuts both ways. I also believe that some of these same factors have led young women to also act less responsibly.

    Now add to this the increasing amount of current pop culture that encourages young people to eschew those traditional views of personal responsibility and, IMHO, what we get is what we see now. In many other countries, the same issues do not yet exist because the economics force people into acting more responsibly. People in many other countries also often do not have the luxury of wallowing in self reflection and analysis, which makes them less likely to lean on psychiatric excuses for their situations. In many places, you do what you need to or you don't eat, period.

    Anyway, just my for whatever it is actually worth.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    A lot of this makes sense. A lot of sense. I was raised ny parents who were pretty much absentee, but we had enough money that I never wanted for anything. However, it was mandatory that I did something, as my parents both came from dirt poverty and struggled all their lives to make something for themselves. If I'd stayed in the US after graduation, I'd have been expected to either start university or get a job. My parents were extremely hard on me, which resulted in some pretty spectacular rebellion for a few years but, I owned a business at 24. After I turned 16 and left for Europe, my mom was done (dad died that year) and really, nobody was there to do much for me but tell me to grow up and get my shit together.

    I'm more familiar with the Eastern European community these days and... even with the horrendous poverty there, I've actually noticed it more in that group than in born and raised Americans. Back when I was little, it was a crime for an able bodied adult not to work and kids were mostly raised by the government. I was a genuine orphan (as opposed to a social orphan, who had living parents who were unable to care for them,) and was raised by very cold, uncaring government employees. I had it better than the socials, but it was still brutal.

    Even with all of these explanations... I had a lot of the same factors and I didn't turn out to be an entitled asshole and I wonder why.

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    Default Re: WTF is wrong with this generation?

    I don't know if it's possible to unravel why some people turned out okay after neglect/poor modeling and others turn into full blown, abusive narcissists (and everything inbetween). I can only think in terms of nature/nurture platitudes -- every case of neglect or poor modeling is unique, and everyone's genetically determined trait-windows interact with trauma in different ways. Platitude platitude.

    An interesting thing to note is that narcissism often precludes a person's ability to recognize those traits in his or herself . In all serious though, I'm not claiming this is true of you kira (you seem strong and lovely from the posts I've read). Just stating a fact. So next time you think of confronting the most self-aggrandizing, self-centered person in your life, just know they probably can't change and will probably call you crazy for suggesting they aren't great. Also, if you were either neglected or raised by incredibly self-absorbed parents/guardians who are never wrong or say sorry and you wonder why you didn't turn out to be an entitled asshole, you may want to research enabling personalities to make sure you don't have one. It's one other potential side effect, and best to sort out because it turns you into a beacon for assholes.

    What a lovely psychological epidemic. Lol.

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