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Thread: How to Fake Confidence...

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    Veteran Member BombshellBelle's Avatar
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    Dizzy How to Fake Confidence...

    ...when its just not there? I understand that my camming may be suffering because I can't seem to get it together. At my highest weight five years ago (over 300 pounds), I decided to love every flaw, mark, and scar because they were part of my personal beauty. I fucking OWNED it! Without too much of a pity party, a lot happened to that girl who danced on a bar in the middle of a drag bar to "I Love Rock and Roll"! But, I conquered my demons and started the script of my life from the beginning. My new downtown loft needs work, but is still amazing (and paid off!) I found a new personal style and am rocking it flawlessly. I'm making decent money camming so far. Things are GREAT, but...
    I'm far more self-conscious that I use to be and I'm having trouble faking confidence on cam. I feel like "Grotesque" is written across my forehead despite the compliments I get from the guys. I wouldn't post this here, but I want my camming to be the best it can be. So, until I feel like Elizabeth Taylor again, what can I do to boost my confidence on cam? What do you do on your blue days?

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    In sales we were taught "fake it 'til you make it" and that's basically all you *can* do, short of seeing a therapist.

    One thing that really stuck with me was to "leave your troubles at the door." In your case, that would mean writing down all the negative thoughts and feelings you have about yourself, writing them down on pieces of paper, and putting them in a bag. When it's time to cam, you take that bag and literally leave it outside the door to where you cam. If you really *want* to keep them, you can pick them back up once you're done camming, (but of course, most people find them to be rather heavy to carry around with them and choose to leave them in the bag.)

    You may also want to write down all of the compliments you get when you're camming and try taking them to heart. You're so much more than what you look like, but you must look awesome if you've been camming and making money at it.

    If you just can't get out of that funk, maybe take some time off, go tanning, go shopping, do what makes you feel beautiful. Then, (when you're ready) come back and be the fabulous person you've always been.

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Read everything written by Sam38g.
    See my post in Verified to learn about an alternative and legitimate way to earn a decent living online.

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Quote Originally Posted by hyori View Post
    Read everything written by Sam38g.
    I absolutely do... Would give anything to have her confidence!

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    A good place to start would be asking yourself what's making you not feel confident and why? Where does that self-doubt and insecurity comes from? Feelings can be very deceptive. You don't have to feel it, you just have to KNOW it. It's a great confident boost to know that whatever you look like or what you're feeling, you can turn on your cam and there will be men who think you are beautiful, whoregeous! I say don't fake it, BE it because validation is neither desired nor required!
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    I was a stripper first. It taught me alot about what we think versus what guys see. I am hot by no means, but I've learned not to over think it. Men do not care about flaws. Ones that you think you have. I have made money on damn near every day i started out not feeling it or feeling self conscious for whatever reason. Just think about it as work. What do you do at your job? You tease, you get naked, you fake an orgasm ect over and over. Just do the basics like that until you realize you're making it.
    Days you're not making it blame it on the site, the traffic, the holiday ect.

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    You need to focus on the things you like about yourself when you are online.
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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    The nice thing about camming is that the people looking at you have CHOSEN to look at you. In a strip club, a girl might be on stage that no one in the room really wants to look at (I know that sounds terrible, but it's true), and guys will still look just because the girl is up on a stage and there's nothing else to watch. With camming, every person viewing your image is viewing it because they chose to do so. Even the trolls who ostensibly are just there to piss you off chose to look at you, thus proving that they are interested in your look (whether they admit it or not).

    Unless you've purposefully hidden something about your look that people could legitimately complain about (i.e. self-described as thin/athletic, actually a BBW), then you can safely assume that the people in your room like how you look (ban the fuckers who are just there to get a rise out of you - even the most successful camgirls get haters). And if they like how you look, then there's nothing to be self-conscious about, is there? So, log in with the assumption that everyone looking at you thinks you're not only beautiful, but worth paying to see. Because if they didn't think that, then they wouldn't be in your room. Right?


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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Alternate strategy (if logic isn't workin' for ya)...find a picture of a man on the internet who looks pathetic to you, print it out, and hang it directly behind your computer. Assume that every person you meet while camming looks exactly like that, and proceed with confidence. Whether it's a picture of a 600-pound dude with a pencil-sized dick, a feeble old man in a pair of spiderman undies, or a character from a movie, find a picture of someone who inspires you to feel a mix of pity and superiority (bonus points if it also makes you giggle).

    I know this sounds kind of cruel and bizarre, but it might work. Whenever you're about to log in, stare at that picture for a while, and get to work knowing that you are a fucking goddess among mortals!

    Name:  obese+4.jpeg
Views: 388
Size:  35.3 KB

    Also, I do realize that writing this post means I'm going to hell.

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Alternate strategy (if logic isn't workin' for ya)...find a picture of a man on the internet who looks pathetic to you, print it out, and hang it directly behind your computer. Assume that every person you meet while camming looks exactly like that, and proceed with confidence. Whether it's a picture of a 600-pound dude with a pencil-sized dick, a feeble old man in a pair of spiderman undies, or a character from a movie, find a picture of someone who inspires you to feel a mix of pity and superiority (bonus points if it also makes you giggle).

    I know this sounds kind of cruel and bizarre, but it might work. Whenever you're about to log in, stare at that picture for a while, and get to work knowing that you are a fucking goddess among mortals!

    Name:  obese+4.jpeg
Views: 388
Size:  35.3 KB
    True story- at one of my clubs there was a crippled customer who would pick on dancers when they were having bad shifts, since he probably hadn't been laid like, ever. It was sick because he was nice to me at first & then decided to turn on me when I was having a hard time. Basically some people are so pathetic inside that their whole lives are balancing acts to where they can get chances to feel powerful over someone else, whether it's real or not.

    In short, ignore trolls because they are desperate for attention. The whole reason they troll adult biz workers is they can get away with it and we make our living by networking and socializing....A troll is that sad bored monkey with a pile of poop in hand waiting for a target to throw it at.,,,

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    If all my customers were pathetic, it wouldn't give me more confidence, I would just be creeped out all the time and then I would give up camming. Yipes.
    See my post in Verified to learn about an alternative and legitimate way to earn a decent living online.

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Alternate strategy (if logic isn't workin' for ya)...find a picture of a man on the internet who looks pathetic to you, print it out, and hang it directly behind your computer. Assume that every person you meet while camming looks exactly like that, and proceed with confidence. Whether it's a picture of a 600-pound dude with a pencil-sized dick, a feeble old man in a pair of spiderman undies, or a character from a movie, find a picture of someone who inspires you to feel a mix of pity and superiority (bonus points if it also makes you giggle).

    I know this sounds kind of cruel and bizarre, but it might work. Whenever you're about to log in, stare at that picture for a while, and get to work knowing that you are a fucking goddess among mortals!

    Name:  obese+4.jpeg
Views: 388
Size:  35.3 KB

    Also, I do realize that writing this post means I'm going to hell.
    I am *SO* gonna do this. With all the dudes that pop in and out of my room or sit there and never say anything, it makes me feel so ugly and I give up after a bit and log out. This will definitely help.


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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    True story- at one of my clubs there was a crippled customer who would pick on dancers when they were having bad shifts, since he probably hadn't been laid like, ever. It was sick because he was nice to me at first & then decided to turn on me when I was having a hard time. Basically some people are so pathetic inside that their whole lives are balancing acts to where they can get chances to feel powerful over someone else, whether it's real or not.

    In short, ignore trolls because they are desperate for attention. The whole reason they troll adult biz workers is they can get away with it and we make our living by networking and socializing....A troll is that sad bored monkey with a pile of poop in hand waiting for a target to throw it at.,,,
    Exactly. I mean, celebrities and models are some of the most common recipients of this kind of hate and judgment. Once you realize that even Candice Swanepoel (:insert name of someone you think is flawless here: ) receives negative comments from thousands of people on a daily basis, then you can't really take trolls & haters seriously anymore. People are insecure, jealous, and bored. Ignore them, ban them, and spend your energy on people who love how you look!

    It's a hard lesson to internalize, but life is too fucking short to spend it taking yourself down, being your own enemy, and getting in the way of your own success.

    Quote Originally Posted by hyori View Post
    If all my customers were pathetic, it wouldn't give me more confidence, I would just be creeped out all the time and then I would give up camming. Yipes.
    I hear that sistah! Different strategies for different people.

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    I've thought about it and I've figured out where my lack of confidence is coming from. The situation has been remedied for the most part, but there are still some hurt feelings I guess.

    I'm going to "fake it till I make it". Really, I have no other choice. What am I going to do? Tuck my tail between my legs and let it beat me? Nope. Not gonna happen. I've worked too hard to get where I am not in life to give up now.

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    JAC, I read the thread and loved it! When I log on tonight, I'm going to watch my expressions. Things aren't so bad. Like I said in my original post, life actually is pretty good right now (better than they have been in years). I guess broken hearts can have this effect on even the most confident of girls.

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Also, I do realize that writing this post means I'm going to hell.
    See you there lol
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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    I was going to reference you to the thread that JAC started as well. Its really relevant to what you are wanting. The amazing thing about our brains is that the tie between how we feel and how we express is actually a two way street! That means that if you get really good at forcing yourself to hold the expressions and posture you want you will actually start to become more confident about yourself! There have been all kinds of studies on this, my favorite one is one where people were made to watch cartoons and rate how funny they were. The next group was asked to watch the same cartoons only they had to hold a pencil, lengthwise, between their teeth while they did, creating a false smile. Time after time the pencil group laughed and enjoyed the cartoons more then the first group! As Red Velvette said "fake it until you make it"

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Quote Originally Posted by BombshellBelle View Post
    JAC, I read the thread and loved it! When I log on tonight, I'm going to watch my expressions. Things aren't so bad. Like I said in my original post, life actually is pretty good right now (better than they have been in years). I guess broken hearts can have this effect on even the most confident of girls.
    I was hoping it would be helpful.

    The one thing that has always bugged me about 'fake it until you make it' is that it is really a vague way to define a goal. I am sure we've all have heard that the more specific and measurable the goal then the easier it is to reach it.

    Sending hugs and support while your broken heart mends.
    Last edited by justanothercamgirl; 01-12-2015 at 06:07 AM. Reason: morning brain

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    @ JAC:

    "Fake it till I make it" means that I'm I am going to fake feeling like Liz Taylor until I find my place in the sun! I don't really have another option, you know?

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Quote Originally Posted by BombshellBelle View Post
    @ JAC:

    "Fake it till I make it" means that I'm I am going to fake feeling like Liz Taylor until I find my place in the sun! I don't really have another option, you know?

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Why would You want to 'fake' Liz Taylor? Isn't she deceased?

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    Default Re: How to Fake Confidence...

    Old school Liz, before the coffin... She's been my spirit animal lately!

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