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Thread: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

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    Default Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    I am carless, homeless, and I have no help from anyone. I cant go back to work just yet because I still look pregnant, I need to tone up fast. I have a job now but dsnt pay shit. Any ideas, or motivation to get my fckng life back? BTW Im 3 months sober now and I will not drink

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Its fckng hard without a car. I don't live in a place that's easy to get around without a car. Its killing paying for a taxi to and from my kids school 5 times a week. Im practically paying for hotel and taxis and that's it. I have the surgery for wed. This is the second miscarriage in a year, and Im nervous about the surgery. Last time they suggested I take the pills to pass the baby and I did, then I got really sick and ultimately had to have a surgery 3 months later. This time I told the doctor Ill go straight to surgery.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Oh my god, girl. All that sounds extremely rough - that is too much at once! I'm so sorry! Is it possible to get a really cheap motel to live in, in the meantime?

    If you go to the ER, they won't turn you away. They will operate on you, and bill you. That debt you will have to pay later eventually, but don't worry about that now. Just go to the E.R. if you need surgery. I'm assuming you're in the U.S.?

    Edit: I just read your transportation issues. Taxis are too expensive. Are there buses in your area?
    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Yes. I can have the surgery, I have insurance for now, probably wont soon but ill be able to have my surgery. Yes it IS a lot. I know I lost the baby due to the stress : ( And I feel guilty because I kept saying that I would be able to work if I wasn't pregnant. Guess you get what you ask for : ( : ( Im just so fckd right now idk what to do.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Don't feel guilty, sweetie! It is NOT your fault! How could you have known what would happen? Anyone would have been stressed out in your situation. Please don't feel guilty over that. Sometimes these things happen. I've had an abortion many years ago, but I don't allow myself to feel guilty over that. I didn't have a choice for what I did. Guilt solves nothing. Just know that everything happens for a reason. This is an unfortunate situation you are in, but you CAN get out of it. Your life will improve, you just have to handle things one step at a time.

    Can you take a bus instead of a taxi?

    I don't know if you can exercise right now in your condition. But there are exercises you can do to get your tummy back in shape again. But go easy, b/c I don't know what you're going through physically right now.
    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    not to sons school. I mean it when I say its IMPOSSIBLE to get around here without transportation. I do take the bus when I can.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and everything else you're going through right now:'-(. Hugs.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    So you and your kids are staying in a hotel and have no transportation? Where is your partner or the person you were pregnant by?
    I see you mentioned that this is the second miscarriage in a year. Are you trying to have another baby or are you just having unprotected sex and hoping you won't get pregnant?
    If you can work at even a dive you should. I had a lot of struggle when I first stepped into dancing and what's kept me not just afloat but thriving is that I've rolled with the punches. I won't turn my nose up to dancing in a dive if it means food on the table.
    Also if you're having a difficult time financially you should hold off on having another child right now. As you know they're expensive and you probably would like to have a more stable environment for the children you already have, no?

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Right now, I don't think theres any point on focusing on past actions that you cannot change.

    Today, I think it would help you to focus on pulling it together for your kids. Like ScarlettKitten mentioned you are in a tough spot now but you will and can get through this. Do like whirlerz suggested and get some government assistance. Since you have kids you will get help faster. And do you have family or friends you can call on for help? Because it sounds like you are trying to do a lot by yourself.

    I am so sorry for your loss. *hugs*
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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    So sorry for all you are going thru right now. What state are you in? Can you work dayshift anywhere? I have seen pregnant looking dancers.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    So you and your kids are staying in a hotel and have no transportation? Where is your partner or the person you were pregnant by?
    I see you mentioned that this is the second miscarriage in a year. Are you trying to have another baby or are you just having unprotected sex and hoping you won't get pregnant?
    If you can work at even a dive you should. I had a lot of struggle when I first stepped into dancing and what's kept me not just afloat but thriving is that I've rolled with the punches. I won't turn my nose up to dancing in a dive if it means food on the table.
    Also if you're having a difficult time financially you should hold off on having another child right now. As you know they're expensive and you probably would like to have a more stable environment for the children you already have, no?
    All of this, it was my first thought too. I know you're married, so unless you've left him, where is your husband? Does he not have a job? Can you go stay with family, a friend maybe? Instead of a hotel have you looked into Budget Suites, Siegel Suites etc? Those are weekly no-credit check apartments.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    We were trying to get pregnant. I have left him. I am getting divorced but I cant legally ask for anything yet, until its settled through the courts. I know it will get back on my feet its just hard at the moment and I think its helping me to think that at one point I was completely independent and taking care of business. I cant really explain what happened between us but lets say that leaving is the best option for me now.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Legally you can take anything actually and you should. Start selling anything of value so that you can get into a better living situation. Sounds harsh but if you're really gonna go through this divorce you'll look back and wish you would have.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    Legally you can take anything actually and you should. Start selling anything of value so that you can get into a better living situation. Sounds harsh but if you're really gonna go through this divorce you'll look back and wish you would have.
    BTDT as well. Get whatever you can to get yourself set up. Don't try to be "nice". If you left him so suddenly it must have been something significant, especially if only a few months ago you were trying to get pregnant. That's a pretty drastic shift in the relationship. Look out for yourself. Don't worry about him, you can't anymore.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Can you manage some extra cash to get a cheap corset or something that will cover your stomach? Don't worry about toning up before you go back because you don't really have that option it sounds like. I've worked at the shittiest of dives and the bodies I have seen there.... let's just say they clearly weren't worried about toning up. You should go to the nearest dive & work work work & save save save. If you work & save enough you can buy yourself a cheap car off craigslist. You should also go to Planned Parenthood and get on some birth control. You're situation is so much worse than any of my tough times but whenever I have felt like my life couldn't get any shittier I remind myself that you're only given as much as you can handle. I'm not very religious but it's comforting to think of. Just think of coming out of this successful and stronger and think of the example that will be to your child you have now. Also, congrats on the sobriety! Drinking would only make everything worse so keep it up

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    It's been a few days, how are you holding up? Did you manage to have your surgery?

    I don't have any advice, but I hope things are getting better for you.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    no idea how far along you are with the pregnancy, but please keep in mind if you don't get some form of treatment, you can run the risk of infection/complications. if you haven't had medical care, please check for signs of infection, such as a fever. hope you've gotten the care you need.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Im 3 months pregnant LMP but doc says im way less than that. They said they saw no fetal pole but when I went in for a pre surgery ultrasound, they saw a baby and a heartbeat. Im seriously considering dancing until I start to show. I have a little tummy but its nothing really, it looks like It might be a beer gut. Sorry for the earlier posts, Im sure they were confusing. I was told by social worker that I will not qualify for benefits because I am still married, unless I can prove Im getting a divorce.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    There's girls with horrible stomachs at dives but they made money cuz they'd just pop their boobs out of a dress that has some embellishment/distraction in the middle.I can't say corsets are safe, so I'd avoid that, just try to be confident and happy, don't give too much thought to a temporary physical issue, your health comes first. Congrads on the sobriety, despite the trigger after trigger you've been faced with. This too shall pass.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    ^ I thought you said you had a miscarriage?

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    ^I think she did, but just has some stretching on her stomach cuz the event was so recent?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    No. read the post above yours.

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    Ah ok, going on minimal sleep, so sorry OP
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Long story but I had a miscarriage, I will need a surgery,

    I guess fetal poles can be late, even doctors cant explain. I wonder if Ill get hired at a dive. Im so out of shape, I need heels too, I threw mine out

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