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Thread: One night stand or nah?

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    Dizzy One night stand or nah?

    I haven't had sex with anyone for a long time. I had gone through a series of bad relationship and abuse and just needed a break from it all.

    Now that I'm feeling better about being intimate with someone, I still have a desire to be pleased sexually by a man but I am freaking out about how to do it safely. The whole std thing scares me. I know disease can be contracted even in a relationship but if that ever happened at least I know whose life to make hell and whose a$$ to kick whereas a one night stand after you f*ck you never see them again. They could infect you and never be punished.

    I would of course have the guy wear a condom and I may even try a dental dam cause I said I would try it in a previous thread.

    i am wondering do you know anyone who's contracted an std with a condom? I'm not talking about a busted condom I mean one that's still intact.

    Or or maybe I'm just thinking the worst. Have you had a successful one night stand?
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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    You can get HPV even with a condom. I was pretty diligent about using them and still got HPV. It cleared after a LEEP but caused a lot of trouble. I have considering having a FWB with this guy I know (about 10 years younger)who wants to have oral sex but something is stopping me. I think it's because he does have a lot of casual sex with both men and women and I'm fearful of getting HPV again or something else.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    I escorted for years - so had a fair bit of one off sex. I never caught anything, and was tested monthly (just as a routine). I always always used condoms for sex and blowjobs, if a guy wanted to go down on me its with an oral dam or not at all. I also look (discreetly) for anything weird looking - better safe than sorry.

    Personally I wouldn't casually have any kind of unprotected sex with someone- even unprotected oral sex seems like an unecessary risk.

    I'd also be careful about new boyfriends, make them get tested beforehand. And don't ever go without protection just because they don't like the way it feels. Men cheat, and often don't take precautions before doing so (or tell you, even though they are putting you at risk).

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    How about a male escort? At least you know the sex would be good

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Before I ever escorted I did have a few one night stands, some of which ended up as FWB arrangements. But again always with protection, also never caught anything - and some of these guys were seeing a fair few other girls. Some of them thought it was a bit weird I woulnt give head without a condom -but tough titty.

    At the time I liked the convienience of a long term FWB arrangment, with a really hot guys who I knew would make me cum (most guys can't).

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    I never caught anything as an escort using condoms either. But I never did CIM (come in mouth) because there is a small chance of getting infected. As long as you use condoms for penetrative and oral and do a check on the penis for any weird bumps, you're doing all you can. Unfortunately there's always some risk involved! If the risk is too much for you then I would pass. I would say though that people who have a lot of casual sex get tested more frequently than people in monogamous relationships, so there may be less of a chance.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Thanks so much for your responses.

    One more question. I feel like a putz saying this but I've never bought condoms I've always relied on the guy to have one or go buy them but I'd like to take charge by buying them myself.

    Is there a certain brand of condom that is better? Or are they all pretty much the same? I'm thinking latex free maybe the best just in case to avoid any potential allergy but I don't know if this kind is as effective.

    And a male escort? Hmmm? I honestly thought male escorts were for gay men but I'll have to check this out to see if there are any heterosexual male escorts.

    Now I'll just have to find a willing participant who is skilled in bed.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    ^Finding a good looking and willng participant is easy. Finding a man who is skilled in bed - not so easy.

    My bf says the durex ultrathins are the best. But I like the ribbed and dotted ones..... And I don't know how much more likely the ultra thin ones would be to break.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    I usually buy non-latex condoms because condoms period irritate me after a while. Ultrathins feel the best but there may be some risk of breakage? You'd have to do research.

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    Featured Member LaurenAus's Avatar
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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Great thread as im looking for a longterm fwb arrangement myself. Just had a one stand with a skilled and hot guy from tinder i feel you on your concerns....had to break the 6 month dry spell though!!
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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    I'm generally all for promiscuity and whatnot, but if you are really that freaked out over contracting something from a stranger, I would say a one-night stand probably isn't worth your sanity. Most one-night stands are awkward and kinda terrible. Long-term FWBs generally work out to be pretty good arrangements if you can handle it, but it's a double edged sword regarding the fact that the sex is better because you actually have some sort of connection, but having an emotional connection can get tricky in the long run.

    But I can literally only think of one one-night stand off the top of my head that wasn't a massive disappointment. Which is why I don't even bother with them anymore.
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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    ^^^it's interesting that each of us have had such disparate experiences, I had a few back when I was single and every last one of them was awesome. You have to be careful though, I actually ended up marrying the guy I thought was my last one

    OP, I agree with Aurora though that if there's anything worrisome about the idea for you, then it's probably not right for you. Tbh honest, considering the idea is new to you and that you've had bad experiences in your last relationships, a male escort (lol, I just realized that's the male gender equivalent of 'lady policeman') would probably be a better choice. No fuss, no muss, some wicked sex and a guy who will remind you of how it feels to be treated well.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Quote Originally Posted by loveshooks View Post
    ^^^that's odd, I had a few back when I was single and every last one of them was awesome. You have to be careful though, I actually ended up marrying the guy I thought was my last one

    Damn! Lucky. Maybe I'm just really terrible at judging whether someone is gonna be good in bed lol I literally went a short period of time where one-night stand after one-night stand was progressively worse until one was so horrible that I literally lost my libido for 2 weeks and then didn't engage in casual sex with a new partner for like 4 months...
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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    well statistically speaking, women are FAR less likely to orgasm from a one night stand or casual hook up, and the orgasm gap is unfortunately big enough even without adding in guys that generally only care about their own pleasure. everyone is different, but its been my experience unfortunately :/ even with bfs a lot of them have been so clueless. if its just sex you want, i'm leaning towards the male escort idea lol.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    god Aurora I'm neurotic, I just finished editing the quoted portion of my last post because I wasn't sure if it would be misconstrued

    I don't think it's luck, I honestly think I'm part of a small group of oddly wired people. 'Intimacy' is not a usually-desired aspect of of sex for me, it's all physical. For that reason one night stands and regular partners had the same effect; a wicked physical experience. The only difference was what happened after. Because he's uniquely awesome and persistent my guy broke through that neurological barrier, but tbh even if we'd had just that one night it still would have been amazing.

    ugh to bad sex though, I can't stand guys who don't know how to move. I guess I lucked out in that every single one of mine (except that last what I thought was one) I met while out dancing. if a guy can't wine you know he'll suck in bed

    back the OP though, order thee a fine escort and have fun
    Last edited by loveshooks; 01-27-2015 at 11:07 PM.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    My experiences are similar to loveshooks, some of the best sex ive had were one night stands. One i had with a european tourist helped me transcend earthling sex it was so mindblowing. I guess its the luck of the draw and your ability to sniff out good sexors. Goddd i wish i could recreate that experience.
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Male escort = Gigolo

    Whether you opt for a one-night stand, a FWB, or a Gigolo it will be a much better experience if you give a bit of guidance as to what works for you. Every woman is wired just that little bit differently, so what worked for the last woman may not work for you. Your partner won't know that unless you give a bit of direction.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Quote Originally Posted by salzsieder67 View Post
    Male escort = Gigolo

    Whether you opt for a one-night stand, a FWB, or a Gigolo it will be a much better experience if yougive a bit of guidance as to what works for you. Every woman is wired just that little bit differently, so what worked for the last woman may not work for you. Your partner won't know that unless you give a bit of direction.
    I know that's the popular theory, but personally I have found a few guys that didn't need any guidance to be mind blowing. If I were to hire a Gigolo and he needed coaching I wouldn't be returning

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Quote Originally Posted by Heid009 View Post
    I know that's the popular theory, but personally I have found a few guys that didn't need any guidance to be mind blowing. If I were to hire a Gigolo and he needed coaching I wouldn't be returning
    Your right on both counts. The guidance isn't always required, only if it's looking like it's going to be a lacking experience. I was going for brevity, rather than to try to make it an all encompassing post.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    I googled it and came up with


    Pediculosis pubis commonly known as pubic lice;
    Sarcoptes scabiei, commonly known as scabies;
    Fungal infections commonly known as ringworm.
    Hpv
    Sphilis
    Or a herpes outbreak

    Dr Anthony Solomon
    Consultant Physician, Tropical & Genitourinary Medicine

    Tears on your skin can allow infected semen blood and other fluids into your skin.
    The only way to get rid of a temptation is to indulge in it...


    ~I have no roots. I stay away from groups and communities. I wander, an itinerant lone wolf. I have nowhere to go back to. I either burn the bridges or keep walking. I never look back. I detach and vanish. In my mind, I am not human. I am a machine at the service of a madman that snatched my body and invaded my being when I was very young~




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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Better off with a friend, in case you want a repeat, and a friend should care enough to see to your needs.

    Just because coaching is needed isn't a bad thing, giving instructions can be a turn on also.

    As for safety, unless you are SURE both of you are clean, use protection. Even oral without CIM. An erect penis is emitting seminal fluid the entire time. It's part of the lubrication process.

    For those who think the odds of disease are too slim to worry about...Would you put 1,000 dud bullets in a bowl, and one live round, shake the bowl, put one round in a revolver, spin the cylinder, put the muzzle in your mouth, and pull the trigger...each sex act?

    Kinda makes you think...
    Last edited by Unkle Fuzzy; 01-28-2015 at 07:41 PM.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Oh I definitely plan on using condoms and what not. I want to have another child and a husband one day and don't want a night of sex to ruin my ultimate goals.

    I know condoms don't prevent everything like herpes if the rash is outside the condom covered area so like mentioned before i will discreetly check for any unusual bumps or lesions.

    Thanks so much for you all's input
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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    The virus is in the blood babe.

    Rash don't mean diddley. Even Herp posi folks on suppressor meds should practice safe sex.

    I have a friend whose hubby broke out with genital warts and had to have them removed. They had been married 16 years and any infidelities occured at least 10 years prior. He blamed her, but she tested negative for the virus, and has been retested repeatedly. They have no idea where it came from, unless he picked it up during their seperation 10 years prior, and the virus lay dormant without her catching it. Nasty nasty stuff. And no, there is no cure for it, they can only treat the symptoms, one of which is cervical cancer. HPV exposure testing has indicated as many as 1 in 4 college students have been exposed, and there is belief among many researchers that it really isn't an STD but is everywhere like Staff and just waits for a weakened imune system.

    My wifes uncle died of HepC. Never in IV drug user, never a transfusion, never any infidelity, never any indictaion he had it until he was in his late 60's. HepC can lay dormant for decades without showing any symptoms.

    There is shit out there you can't wash off with ajax, and there are strains of Ghonorea (sp), Syphalis, etc. that are far worse than anything we usually get in the US, and these are far more common than HIV, and easier to transmit.

    Whats really bad, is if something is caught, and you have other partners....

    Sorry, I got off on a tirade an lost focus. Really though, if you need somebody, look for somebody that might be a keeper. One night stands are for dumb-ass college kids, not the intelligent, educated croud we have here.

    YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT....Remember it.

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkle Fuzzy View Post
    The virus is in the blood babe.

    Rash don't mean diddley. Even Herp posi folks on suppressor meds should practice safe sex.

    I have a friend whose hubby broke out with genital warts and had to have them removed. They had been married 16 years and any infidelities occured at least 10 years prior. He blamed her, but she tested negative for the virus, and has been retested repeatedly. They have no idea where it came from, unless he picked it up during their seperation 10 years prior, and the virus lay dormant without her catching it. Nasty nasty stuff. And no, there is no cure for it, they can only treat the symptoms, one of which is cervical cancer. HPV exposure testing has indicated as many as 1 in 4 college students have been exposed, and there is belief among many researchers that it really isn't an STD but is everywhere like Staff and just waits for a weakened imune system.

    My wifes uncle died of HepC. Never in IV drug user, never a transfusion, never any infidelity, never any indictaion he had it until he was in his late 60's. HepC can lay dormant for decades without showing any symptoms.

    There is shit out there you can't wash off with ajax, and there are strains of Ghonorea (sp), Syphalis, etc. that are far worse than anything we usually get in the US, and these are far more common than HIV, and easier to transmit.

    Whats really bad, is if something is caught, and you have other partners....

    Sorry, I got off on a tirade an lost focus. Really though, if you need somebody, look for somebody that might be a keeper. One night stands are for dumb-ass college kids, not the intelligent, educated croud we have here.

    YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT....Remember it.
    -Sorry but that man probably did cheat more recently and catch it that way. Not definitely but very very probably. Even 'nice guys' cheat... and that saying 'once a cheater always a cheater' has some truth.

    One night stands/FWB's are for people who want to have sex but don't want to have a relationship. FULLSTOP. Enjoying casual sex does not mean that OP (or any person) lacks intelligence or education.

    ***sidetrack*** Plenty of hookers with degrees ***

    I totally agree with you on the safe sex though.

    Hyori posted these links in another thread (Thankyou Hyori) it's a risk free and drama free option:

    http://noveltiestoymeetsgirl.com/201...palmpower.html also known as the California Exxotics Couture Collection Inspire. This vibrator will shake the false teeth out of your grandmother and cause an orgasm that can be measured by the richter scale.

    Here is the youtube vid comparing all the most popular wands:

    http://youtu.be/QrMFcrBwUA4

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    Default Re: One night stand or nah?

    I think I know what you mean. Generally speaking one night stands are more common in younger adults and when you get older it's assumed the "wild oats" have been sown.

    I like how you mention the vibrators as my mom told me in my teen years masturabtion with yourself was the safest form of sex. However I was hoping for some human lovin' lol! Maybe I'll start with a full body massage. strangely I can orgasm from a non penetrative massage. So I'll start there and work my way up to a friends with benefit or one night stand.

    It sucks that there are stds. I knew diseases could lie dormant for some time but decades?!? And don't married couples have to get std tests before they marry? I'm thinking it would have been caught then or maybe he did catch it by stepping out on her but was just in denial hence why he tried to blame the wife. It's good he didn't transmit the virus to her.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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