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Thread: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

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    Default Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    I found this article and the comments pretty interesting and it raised some fair points.....http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/01/do-looks-matter/

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    That was interesting

    The article didn't go into this (and I'm really sure I'm not the only one to experience this) but I have noticed my opinion of how 'hot' a guy is seems to be swayed either way by personality. I don't mean that 'I'm not shallow' and personality makes me want to have sex with a guy. I mean my visual perception of what the guy physically looks like changes, even if ever so slightly.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Agreed. If you're an unattractive guy with no ambition and no spark in your personality, blaming the fact that you don't get laid on your looks is just refusing to see the truth.

    For me, it's been years since I've fallen for a guy based on his looks. That was like, high school when I was dating guys who cheated on me and got expelled for dealing drugs. Didn't work out great.

    For me it's usually an initial attraction based on a mixture of looks and personality, and then as their personality unfolds it will either blossom into full-blown attraction or nothing. I don't know, I guess if a guy is hot he might be fun to hang out with for a bit, but if you don't treat me well, don't challenge me intellectually, and aren't fun, then I'm not going to want to see you more than once or twice. And sex for me is something I save for people I'm full-blown attracted to.

    And I think we all have different ideas of what is "hot." My boyfriend is 6ft + and super skinny, not ripped at all, and I think he has the sexiest body ever. At totally inappropriate times I will look at him and think "omg I want to fuck him." I've never been into ripped guys, tall and skinny is my thing, and usually a bit nerdy, cause there's nothing sexier than a REALLY smart guy. My biggest university crush had a pornstache and was a little chubby but had an IQ of 170 and omg I made an absolute fool of myself throwing myself at him.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Money makes almost everyone attractive.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    I read the article this articled cited (http://playboysfw.kinja.com/women-sa...y-d-1487449484).

    I'm not the type who demands "sense of humor" in a man: I have plenty of sense of humor already, don't need another person to make me laugh, hahahahaha!!!!

    Looks do matter to me, but not so much in the conventional way. I do not expect Calvin Klein models look a likes, but there are some physical qualities that matter a lot to me. An attractive face and broad shoulders are always a must, and they're non negotiable. I don't have a set body type, but I had said before I don't like extremes (no thinner than Alexander Skasgard but no fatter than the early '90s version of John Goodman), and I prefer a nerdy intellectual over a "bad guy".





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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Looks matter to me. Personality is definitely part of it but I couldn't date an ugly guy or white guy even if he was the sweetest, funniest, richest guy in the world. I have a very narrow window of what I consider attractive. I also care about how I look next to a man, in pictures with him, out in public with him, etc. I initially contacted my husband through a dating site just because I thought he was hot...I later learned that he didn't make much money, but his look, personality and romantic-ness made me commit to him anyway.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Quote Originally Posted by Heid009 View Post
    I don't mean that 'I'm not shallow' and personality makes me want to have sex with a guy. I mean my visual perception of what the guy physically looks like changes, even if ever so slightly.
    This exactly. I've never been able to describe "my type" to people, because I've honestly never been able to find a pattern. It really depends on if I just happen to "click" with them or not. I have guy friends who I know aren't terribly unattractive people, and who are good people, but who I don't have a thing for, and I can't bring myself to see them sexually. And then, there are guys like the last guy I was really into, who I wasn't attracted to at all until we started hanging out for a bit, I started liking him, and then I started thinking he was attractive.

    It's never been about a specific characteristic or even specific type of personality. Some people I click with, some I don't. If we click, I'll shift into being attracted to them even if I didn't find them "conventionally" attractive beforehand, but if we don't click, I'm probably not going to ever imagine them sexually.

    I can certainly look at someone and decide if they're "attractive or not" right off the bat - but thinking someone is attractive means about the same to me as noticing that someone is wearing a green scarf - it's just a physical characteristic and doesn't necessarily mean I'm sexually attracted or will ever be sexually attracted. And not finding someone initially attractive doesn't mean that can't change depending on their personality. Sometimes the "attractive" guy becomes repulsive to me, and sometimes the "not-super-attractive" guy becomes hot to me, and sometimes they're just duds all-around. Can't really pin down a "formula" for it.
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    It seems women are shallow if we want a good looking man but men aren't
    The only way to get rid of a temptation is to indulge in it...


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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Quote Originally Posted by she wolf View Post
    It seems women are shallow if we want a good looking man but men aren't
    This. I have a certain type I am generally attracted to (dark men, usually Hispanic or Latin, thin to average, not a lot of body hair to the point it's gross)and a type I am repulsed by (the hairy teddy bear fat guys). Guess what type usually contacted me on dating sites? yep then when I was turned off they got upset like how dare I have preferences. I'm not saying he has to be hot and certain things like height or income don't matter but some things do. Could I become attracted to a fat guy if he has a great personality? perhaps but to be fair my only fat boyfriend was the biggest piece of shit on the planet regardless of his looks. Having said that I have a crush on a guy who doesn't really fall into my preferences. For once, he's chubby (not fat just a bit of a gut, probably 10-20 pounds overweight)and while he's Mexican and Italian he has blue eyes and is lighter skinned than me. He's also short, and he is going grey and balding. His personality has been the thing that makes me more and more interested.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    I have a type that I always go for. Young, long haired metalheads.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Quote Originally Posted by she wolf View Post
    It seems women are shallow if we want a good looking man but men aren't
    Yup....

    I love a nice face. Body wise... as long as he isn't short, has a huge belly, isn't balding, has a small dick.... I'm good. Those will not get me in the mood.

    Surprise!! Men aren't the only ones who are visual creatures.


    ETA - Certain looks will grab my attention and grab me, but of course good character is what will make me stick around.
    Last edited by Vyanka; 01-31-2015 at 12:54 AM. Reason: ETA

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Looks matter to me, but only to an extent. For the most part, what really makes me attracted to a man is intelligence, compassion, and having a predatory edge. A man who has a beautiful brain, has a big heart, and has the ability to fight/kill when shit hits the fan. It's rare that a man can have all 3 characteristics, but when he does, oh man.....my heart skips a beat. Must be why I tend to be attracted to soldiers/ war veterans.
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    The first one likes gators, guns and metal. The second is my main squeeze.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    I've had my share of boyfriends who I adored during the realtionship but once we broke up... "what was I thinking?!"
    My first was a skinny, very bowlegged guy with a fantastic smile, until he broke half off one of his front teeth off and disn't bother having it replaced.
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    None of the people I've dated or even had sex with are in any way physically similar beyond I guess a few have strong jawlines and broad-ish shoulders/back. I guess that's my type physically. I prefer people I can get along with mentally and socially rather than their looks.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Before my high school BF I was mainly attracted to blonde, shaggy-haired white guys. He was half-Mexican, tall, tan (compared to me at least) and thin. Ever since then my preference has swayed to that. Just a little side note. You could say he 'ruined me for white men' and there wasn't even anything that special about the guy!! Lol

    Looks matter to me a bit but not a great deal in fact. Certainly not to the extent it matters to men (it's pretty much the most important thing to them)
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    I'm 60-40. 60% looks, 40% personality. If you're hot, but dumb, I might sleep with you once and not call you again. If you're super cool but not cute, I'll be your friend. There has to be a combo for both but cuteness is slightly more important to me.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Quote Originally Posted by Vackra View Post
    I'm 60-40. 60% looks, 40% personality. If you're hot, but dumb, I might sleep with you once and not call you again. If you're super cool but not cute, I'll be your friend. There has to be a combo for both but cuteness is slightly more important to me.
    Some people do land the golden ticket and get both.
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Quote Originally Posted by she wolf View Post
    It seems women are shallow if we want a good looking man but men aren't
    I would say anyone who values looks over personality to a GREAT degree (let's face it, we're all visual creatures and it matters, anyone who says it's 100% personality is kidding themselves) is shallow. And I would say "men are shallow" is a pretty common phrase.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    I would say anyone who values looks over personality to a GREAT degree (let's face it, we're all visual creatures and it matters, anyone who says it's 100% personality is kidding themselves) is shallow. And I would say "men are shallow" is a pretty common phrase.
    Yes but still happens. However it seems that there are many superficial things people judge the other on. For example, when I did online I had many men reject me based on my age. They did this because they claimed they wanted kids (though I call bullshit on this). These guys mostly just wanted a young woman, likely to control or be arm candy. Some might say they were superficial while others might say it's preferences or values or whatever. I admit I tended to reject two types of men, dads and obese. Now the dads were rejected regardless of looks but in the case of the obese it was strictly looks (and a huge majority of these men didn't have kids). Me rejecting the obese may have been being superficial but also because I am active and assuming (right or wrong)that he wouldn't be.

    However, there were men who contacted me who weren't attractive to me at all. I met a few but weren't attracted. Others I flat out rejected and I often wonder about them, like maybe they were right for me but because I didn't like their photo they got a no. This wasn't the last time I did online mostly, probably the time before that when I got a lot of responses and was very picky.

  38. #22
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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    I'm 'shallow' as hell (and agree with y'all about the gender double standard about that)

    my husband is gorgeous, I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't. He's also funny and kind which are equally important, his personality is what made me fall in love with him. The point is though that he never wouldn't have gotten through the door initially without his looks. Yes our relationship has now progressed to a place where that azz is now just the cherry on top of everything intangible that really matters, but in the beginning but for his looks none of the rest would have ever happened. I want to be able to lust after the person I love, sure I could do without it now but I'm glad I don't have to.

    'hot' is so subjective though. peeps go crazy for Brad Pitt and George Clooney and I can't see what all the fuss is about, but give me a guy with a baby face, a wicked smile and abs and I'm right on it.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    Quote Originally Posted by loveshooks View Post
    I'm 'shallow' as hell (and agree with y'all about the gender double standard about that)

    I want to be able to lust after the person I love, sure I could do without it now but I'm glad I don't have to.

    'hot' is so subjective though. peeps go crazy for Brad Pitt and George Clooney and I can't see what all the fuss is about, but give me a guy with a baby face, a wicked smile and abs and I'm right on it.
    Yup, call me shallow, looks matter to me. And 'hot' really is subjective. A tall, Hispanic or White, cute face, broad shoulders, narrow waist and a tight ass gets my attention. At first, but then strong personality and intelligence is what keeps them around. That said, I totally agree with loveshooks, I want to be love with a guy that I lust after.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    of course looks matter. there have been plenty of good guys that have been interested in me, but the spark just wasn't there..i could appreciate our friendship and that they were great people i liked spending time with, but i had no physical attraction or romantic interest in them..it just wasn't there, they didn't "do it" for me.
    however, i'm really not THAT picky..i like tall, sinewy, and dark but my bf is only 5'7 and i deal with it lol.

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    Default Re: Do Looks Matter? (in a man) .....

    I'm shallow as fuck when it comes to looks, but I will not sleep with you if the personality does not go well with mine. You have to be someone who turns my mind on as well as looks good on my arm.

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