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Thread: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

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    Thumbs down "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Just a friendly reminder to NOT go see the soon-to-be-released movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. If you buy tickets to this movie, you're indirectly supporting the glamorization of abusive relationships and violence against women. There is an enormous difference between a healthy BDSM relationship and what is portrayed in FSOG.


    Also, be on the lookout for signs that your friends and loved ones might be stuck in emotionally or physically abusive relationships. One in every four women you meet has been or will be involved in an abusive relationship at some point in her life. Educate yourselves on how to support them.


    On that same note, be aware that it is highly likely that even pre-teen girls and boys are being exposed to this 'education' on relationship dynamics (as well as the unhealthy dynamics portrayed in Twilight). It is never too early to begin teaching children about how to recognize the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships, though the approach will differ depending on the child's age.


    If you have $10+ burning a hole in your pocket, use your money to instead make a donation to a battered women's shelter.


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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    I have never read the book so I had no Idea this was an abusive relationship - yikes - glamorizing abuse

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    I have never read this book because I don't read trash. I'll stick to everything else but this garbage. I just wish others did as well. It's not because of the sex, I'll gladly read Jackie Collins books, it's because of the rest of it.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    My opinion is that "50 Shades" teaches women that it's okay to be a door mat to a man who has money because he *might* throw you a bone- it re-enforces a lot of the gross old ideas people push at young women in a effort to keep them dumb and pliable.

    My fave thought about all this- would a lot of these women be so eager to go to the Red Room with a gross old dude? Naw they all expect some hot young pervert. But my research (ha ha) shows that men tend to get kinkier with age. I can't take this all seriously when I picture some old fart walloping a girl's ass with a cat O 9 tails..that might be true sadism for the bottom for sure...


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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Also please refrain from donating to the charity 50 dollars Not 50 shades, some of the charities they are giving donations to support an end demand campaign that hurts sex workers (such as StopPornCulture, National Center of Sexual Exploitation, PATHS of Saskatchewan, Antipornography.org.)
    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/...e-pr/?page=all
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/50-Do...13262428793958
    Last edited by SkyeSabrina; 02-05-2015 at 05:03 PM.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    My opinion is that "50 Shades" teaches women that it's okay to be a door mat to a man who has money because he *might* throw you a bone- it re-enforces a lot of the gross old ideas people push at young women in a effort to keep them dumb and pliable.

    My fave thought about all this- would a lot of these women be so eager to go to the Red Room with a gross old dude? Naw they all expect some hot young pervert. But my research (ha ha) shows that men tend to get kinkier with age. I can't take this all seriously when I picture some old fart walloping a girl's ass with a cat O 9 tails..that might be true sadism for the bottom for sure...
    There is this sick trend I am seeing where many men see women as nothing but sex toys. I am not talking sex workers because we all know that there are some men who frequent clubs who have that mentality and look workers as dolls. They have no right to be abusive at all. However, to me it's a bit different to deal with it in a non sex industry world. I have met men in the world who think it's okay to abuse women, either verbally or physically and it's NEVER okay. I have never had a physically abusive boyfriend but have had two emotionally abusive boyfriends. One I dumped once he started abusing me about my weight (which was odd since I was very thin). The other one sweet talked me, I moved in then he started being abusive. He started getting worse and I have no doubt he would have started beating me if I stayed since he was starting to do things like twist my nipples. In both cases both were much older men who sought me out because I was young and naive.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    i have to say hearing gilbert gottfried read the book out loud is effin hilarious. it's on youtube if you want to watch it. a jezebel article made fun of a cosmo article on 50 shades. it's called '17 shades of stupid'. pretty funny too. other than that, meh.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    ^From the article, "Mr. Grey spanks Miss Steele with a belt hard enough to make her cry in pain, then offers her a salve and pain medicine". That doesn't sound "sexy"!
    I haven't read the book and didn't intend to see the movie, so I had no idea the story line was so "iffy".

    On one hand, it's good that a charity is using the film to help raise awareness, but it's shame that sex workers (who have chosen careers in the industry) are often lumped into the abused category.
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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Thanks for starting this Charlie! Never read the books but I have heard that real BDSM people hate them.
    "There are different kinds of darkness. There is darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful. There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good."
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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I had no idea how utterly stupid the book is.

    The second review shows how cringe-worthy the sequel is too:

    http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/341907930


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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    I've only read excerpts, and decided against buying/reading any more. One of the girls I work with was saying she couldn't wait to see the movie, so I started asking why she would want to indulge in something that is abuse. Pointing out that it is not actual BDSM. She was like, "It's not abuse. Dude playing the main guy is hot!" "Safewords?! Who has time for safewords when you're having great sex?" And other things like that. It made me sick listening to her. This is what we will be seeing on a HUGE scale ladies.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    I absolutely hate this piece of shit book. It has given men all sorts of stupid ideas about sex, and I've experienced it myself in the form of partners inflicting pain on me without asking permission- and being pissed when I told them no.
    This book's writing is painful enough. Couple that with the twisted info about BDSM, and you're in for a disaster.
    I seriously want to bitch-slap E.L James.
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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    the toilet paper of the BDSM world, a total embarrassment, and not only that but its harmful and disgusting. whipping somebody hard enough so they cry, but oh as long as the guy has a cute butt and lots of money and offers you an ice pack afterwards its totally ok!!! sounds like the basis for so many abusive relationships, shit like this makes me so angry.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    It's sooo annoying on my personal fb all my friends .. Are like.. "Finally a book that has my kind of taste!"........no
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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Quote Originally Posted by LaylaLovely View Post
    It's sooo annoying on my personal fb all my friends .. Are like.. "Finally a book that has my kind of taste!"........no
    Unfriend them all: D
    This " book" is waste of time and poor trees which have been cutted to be a part of it

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Also, violent videogames cause school shootings.

    It's a shitty book, but it's fantasy. Women aren't going to read it or watch the movie and suddenly become victims of abuse because they can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. That's silly.

    Should we protest movies that depict murder? Why not?

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    As an S&M enthusiast, it really depresses me that something meant to be fun and liberating can turn so dark.
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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    As an S&M enthusiast, it really depresses me that something meant to be fun and liberating can turn so dark.
    I agree. In the hands of an audience familiar with healthy BDSM etiquette, this book would be nothing more than a poorly written fantasy. Unfortunately, due to its mass marketing, the series is reaching an audience of ignorant people, many of whom cannot tell the difference between healthy and abusive power dynamics (including all of the teens who are undoubtedly reading their parents' copies). It's also disturbing that the books reinforce the him-up-there, her-down-there power issue existing in our society in a plethora of less obvious ways.

    While I disagree with Smurfette on this one, she raises an interesting point worth exploring further. Can the author of this series, as well as the people involved in making it so widely available for consumption...can they be blamed in any way for the inevitable downstream effects of producing this nonsense? For contributing to a society rife with media promoting rape culture / violence against women?

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    The rich dominant alpha male trope is HUGE in romance and erotica, it's not just 50 Shades. For whatever reason, many women love reading that kind of stuff. Rape fantasies/dubious consent is also very popular. Is it problematic? Probably, yeah. I'm not gonna get into the complex reasons WHY women like it, but they do. Should we shame them for indulging in their fantasies? I don't think so.

    I think it's a little paternalistic to want to police what kind of fantasies women are allowed to have, and as a result, the media that is created to meet that demand. I highly doubt that women are gonna see this movie and then decide that they want to be abused. Or that men will watch it and start treating women like shit because Christian Grey does it. Those who DO were probably already a bit messed up to begin with. (Which is why I brought up violence in videogames-- if GTA or whatever influences a kid to go shoot up his school, that kid was already mentally disturbed to begin with).

    It's one thing to think Christian Grey's behavior in a fictional book/movie is sexy and hot, it's another thing to actually want to experience that kind of abuse IRL from your SO. I find the idea of being gang-banged rough and hard by 10 guys to be super hot but I do NOT want to experience it IRL. It's just a fantasy.

    The arguments against 50 shades could easily be brought up against the sex industry and what WE do. Porn and strip clubs DO contribute to the objectification of women and rape culture. Should we be held responsible for the adverse effects it has on society? Should we stop what we're doing and try to ban porn or shut down strip clubs?


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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    I posted on Facebook how this book is demeaning to women and doesn't represent the BDSM lifestyle. What this book does it pushes stereotypes and is poorly written. It says a lot that women fantasize about being raped, which disturbs me. I'm all for reading but not trash like this.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    I firmly believe that it is the consumer's responsibility to 'vote' for or against this kind of media using their money.

    It's sad to me that so many people have clearly voted 'for' this poorly written series with a degradingly low level of character development / complexity. Women are incredibly complex with incredibly complex desires, and our culture should be interested more in making space for those desires in healthy, consensual contexts. (Check out the book Jane Sexes It Up for an intelligent exploration of that topic...)

    If the public hadn't purchased the books, then the books wouldn't be made into movies, and the author would have faded into obscurity.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I firmly believe that it is the consumer's responsibility to 'vote' for or against this kind of media using their money.

    It's sad to me that so many people have clearly voted 'for' this poorly written series with a degradingly low level of character development / complexity. Women are incredibly complex with incredibly complex desires, and our culture should be interested more in making space for those desires in healthy, consensual contexts. (Check out the book Jane Sexes It Up for an intelligent exploration of that topic...)

    If the public hadn't purchased the books, then the books wouldn't be made into movies, and the author would have faded into obscurity.
    I think what saddens me the most is this idea that this is an average woman's fantasy. I fear that in many cases women are brainwashed to believe certain things instead of thinking on their own. We saw this in society years ago when it came to things like women pressured to be wives and mothers when not all desired that. Romance novels in general often push so many horrible things. There was this tragic case near me years ago where this woman covered up sex with her boyfriend by claiming she was raped. She took a plot from some horrible "romance" novel and claimed this guy (not her boyfriend) raped her. This poor guy (who was related to a childhood friend)spent years in prison until exonerated by DNA (one of the first)because this woman read a rape in one of these books.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I agree. In the hands of an audience familiar with healthy BDSM etiquette, this book would be nothing more than a poorly written fantasy. Unfortunately, due to its mass marketing, the series is reaching an audience of ignorant people, many of whom cannot tell the difference between healthy and abusive power dynamics (including all of the teens who are undoubtedly reading their parents' copies). It's also disturbing that the books reinforce the him-up-there, her-down-there power issue existing in our society in a plethora of less obvious ways.

    While I disagree with Smurfette on this one, she raises an interesting point worth exploring further. Can the author of this series, as well as the people involved in making it so widely available for consumption...can they be blamed in any way for the inevitable downstream effects of producing this nonsense? For contributing to a society rife with media promoting rape culture / violence against women?
    I was watching tv earlier and they had a special pre screening with EL james and these where fans of the book. I was surprised to see the wide rage of woman. There were tons of woman in their 70's and 80;s. They all loved it. To each their own. I never read the book and haven't saw a movie in years I wanted to PAY to see.

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    Default Re: "Fifty Shades of Abuse"

    A drunk monkey tripping on acid can write better quality literature than that 50 shades of mashed grey matter.

    It seems that cringe-worthy material that has no substance, depth, or intellect/talent within the writing is what is popular in this country. I hope this crap is not popular world-wide. It only goes downhill from here folks. Just when you think it couldn't get worse than Twilight...

    It's just pure SHIT, 100%, plain and simple.
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