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Thread: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

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    Banned irispia's Avatar
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    Default alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Anyone else feel the need to get trashed while working to deal with the humiliation associated with being completely vulnerable in front of complete strangers, then fake, fornicating with them??? ugh i feel like shit having to get wasted just to deal

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Not at all...
    Honestly if you have to get drunk or high for work, this is not the job for you. If you're too humiliated or uncomfortable, why are you doing it?


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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    Not at all...
    Honestly if you have to get drunk or high for work, this is not the job for you. If you're too humiliated or uncomfortable, why are you doing it?
    I agree.
    It's a little different to want a couple of drinks to loosen up (I mean it is a party atmosphere) but if you have to depend on alcohol and/or drugs you really shouldn't be doing this job.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Wow, you should definitely not be dancing. Why do you feel humiliated and vulnerable? I think the majority of dancers feel the complete opposite. We run the show in strip clubs and get random men to give us all of their money just by being sexy. We're in control of these men and that's empowering. If you are confident in yourself you should be able to take charge at work and never feel humiliated (unless you eat shit on stage, which I have done, lol). You should never feel vulnerable at work because you should already have the confidence to enforce your boundaries. Or if you are referring to being topless/naked in front of strangers, you should love your body enough to show it off. Nobody should have to "cope" with being a dancer and if you feel that way this isn't the job for you.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    You may benefit from a read through of some of these threads from those of us who have been users/drinkers (although I don't see a distinction between drugs and alcohol). I have at times felt the emotions you have described and eventually learned to dance sober- and I extend that to my personal life too. I've recounted my experiences in the links below so feel free to read up.

    https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...sober+drinking

    After you've read it scroll to the bottom of the page and you will see a list of similar threads you can click on, at heart, I think a lot of the questions and feelings you are having are the same.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    I feel ya girl...I used to be prescribed Xanax and Adderall which translated into me being a horny sped up "I don't give a fuck" party girl...add some weed and a few drinks at the bar and not only was I numb as a corpse, I was totally oblivious. Once I started dancing sober...no pills, no alcohol, no weed..I couldn't stand men trying to suck my nipples, or caress my body. I used to look around like...how fucking strange is it that men come to the club to be dry humped by practically nude women. It is an odd set up for sure. I wouldn't be humiliated by it though, it's more empowering than humiliating. Then again I do like some humiliation in the bedroom so maybe it speaks to my carnal side..

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    I often have a drink or two to help me loosen up, but I never get really drunk at work. First of all, I drive myself and live in a suburb that's about a half hour from my club so I don't want to have a BAC anywhere the .08 limit - no DUIs for me. Second, the club I work for has a lower tolerance for girls getting shit faced than other Detroit clubs. The management really doesn't like girls getting sloppy drunk (unlike most clubs around here to whose mgmt basically encourages it). Back when my ex used to drive me to work I worked at different clubs and would sometimes get pretty drunk but never sloppy blackout drunk.

    I take xanax for my anxiety so I always take 1 or 2 mgs with me *just in case*. I had a really bad anxiety attack at work once and got really sick so now I bring xanax to be prepared for emergencies only.
    "Rather have my feet hurting than my pockets."

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    "Fake fornicating"? What exactly do you do with customers?

    Agreed that you need to find a new job if you think so badly of it. Your post sickens me a little TBH; you should be in the mindset that civilian women give up the whole enchilada for free, and strippers get paid to even take their clothes off. Most men in clubs are desperate and so pathetic in some way that they can't get female attention without paying for it. YOU have the upper hand.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    ^^I think is a way of saying "dry humping". If you think about it, lapdances are a form of dry humping sometimes.





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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    fornicating?? people still use that word? lol

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    You will have to consider learning how to dance sober. I used to hate everything about it: the men trying to grab me, even having to get physically close for a lapdance. Guys trying to reach out to pinch my nipples or grab my ass, even just being naked around other people. And being around girls who acted nasty and crazy if they were high off harder drugs (at one of my first clubs I danced drugs were very common). I had a sheltered life and didn't like those kind of environments at all and used drinking to cope.

    I had to continue because I needed the money. I tried to find aspects I liked about the job and switched to juice bars to stay away from alcohol for a while. Switching clubs helped me a lot and might help you if yours is gross. As it turned out the club I spent the most time in was gross and the grass was definitely greener at other clubs.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    It's not psychologically healthy to think of your job as humiliating or "being completely vulnerable." I've never felt remotely vulnerable in front of a client. Fortunately I'm good at making people believe that I am vulnerable while wearing one of my many masks. I might say things like, "Oh wow, I've never felt this comfortable around a customer" or "I really like you" or "You're embarrassing me! You've found my weak spot." I give little sheepish grins or jealous sad faces to make them feel like they're having an emotional impact on me. But I don't mean any of it.

    If you don't know how to put on a mask and be convincingly fake around men, at least make sure you feel safe. If you're just really paranoid about being naked in the arms of a stranger, carry a (protected) razor blade in your thong or some Mace in your purse. And definitely take a self defense class. I wouldn't be nearly as comfortable in this job if I didn't know how to break a man's knees and dislocate his arms.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Also, not sure what your boundaries are like, but you need to enforce them. If you don't, that's when you'll start to feel like the men have the upper hand. If they don't listen after 2 nice warnings, get stern and tell them you're going to end the dance (and sometimes you can even charge them extra and call it an asshole tax). But don't put up with touching you're not comfortable with; the extra $20 from another song isn't gonna be worth the PTSD you might give yourself.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    I would argue that most of us would have developed issues even without dancing. My alcohol issues started well before my first time topless on a stage and the free booze certainly didn't help but I was getting humiliatingly wasted far before that. Most of the addicts I've known always liked drugs or started dancing to support existing drug habits. The environment doesn't help but the underlying issues that cause addictive personalities are usually not caused by stripping.

    I also agree that this is not an industry for those who are feeling emotionally damaged by it. In seven years I have never felt that way and I work in Florida with heavy contact, competing with extras girls.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Girl, from what I've read of your posts, I am gathering that you just straight-up are not comfortable with being a stripper.

    I would not recommend that you continue this job if that is how you really feel.

    Not only are you damaging your psyche, and probably going through cognitive dissonance, but you are setting yourself up to be an alcoholic and/or drug addict.
    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Let's keep this thread civil, beauties. Mod team will be keeping an eye on this one.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Let the judgement begin...
    The only way to get rid of a temptation is to indulge in it...


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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    fornicating?? people still use that word? lol
    She might be foreign or might not be very good with English. Not all members in SW are American, Brit, and/or Aussie.





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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    I think it would help for you to change your perspective. I find stripping very empowering. Men are literally paying us hundreds to thousands of dollars to just be in our presence. If you feel the need to drink or take drugs at work then maybe dancing is not the right career for you. Your mental health is always more important than money.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    OP - I never experienced stripping as demeaning or humiliating. But I'm very sorry that that has been your experience.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    No, I haven't ever felt that way. Maybe you can talk to your boss about switching to waitressing and save your sanity?

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    If you do want to keep doing sexwork, have you tried camming? Maybe that'd be a worthwhile alternative... since you're in the comfort of your own home and you have more control over your audience, maybe you wouldn't feel as vulnerable as you do at the club?

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    I felt same way, so evey time i wanted to change job only because of this. and now i made it if you will start drink or using, there can be the moment when you can not stop, that would be dangerous. I saw many girls who are sooo drunk every day. thats sucks

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    No, I haven't ever felt that way. Maybe you can talk to your boss about switching to waitressing and save your sanity?
    Not everyone is cut out for dancing. You really have to have a strong personality. I see this in a lot of younger dancers and it's ok. My daughter Could never do it( I mention her because she's 18 now) and I wouldn't want her to because she would be one that couldn't handle it. I have a gf that;s been dancing 20 years and she still cries if she just turned down or feel someone is cutting her down. and that's ok you can try waitressing. You'd probably do just as well because you won't have these issues.

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    Default Re: alcohol drugs etc to cope with being a dancer

    ^ I agree, not everybody has the personality to do this job. It's not a bad thing at all... hell, I'd consider it a compliment since it means you are probably a nice, sensitive person... definitely not words that can be used to describe me, haha. If you are set on being in this industry, switch to waitressing or door hostessing even.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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