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Thread: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

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    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    I was talking with a guy friend from vanilla work and the subject of Valentines Day came up. He asked if I had anything planned and say "No". I asked him if he had any plans and he "Nope". I knew what was coming. He then says "We should do something". "Like what?" I ask. I add "movies and restaurants are going to be packed". He says "Let's just hang on at my place and watch TV or play video games." I said "OK, but let's hang at my place and you bring the food". I figured I would have more control over the situation. He not my type, but he's cute, nice and a computer geek like me. I really didn't have anything planned and would give me a break from stalking my ex on social media. Just two friends just getting together. So what's the harm right? Is this going to blowup on me? I could use some feedback, I don't always trust my judgement when it comes to relationships.

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    Banned zeke's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    He wants in your pants.

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    I say go for it. I had 2 good guy friends offer to take me to dinner and a show on Valentine's Day. These are both guys who I have been very clear with that I'm not looking to date them, and they both agreed that they knew that "Valentine's Day" didn't necessarily mean anything, but that I'm important to them and they wanted to spend the time with me. If they proceed to think it's going anywhere beyond that just because I spent a certain day with them, that's their problem. I've been nothing but honest.

    Who says that Valentine's Day has to be a day about romantic love? I was never raised that way. My parents always celebrated Valentine's Day in some form with me and my sister in addition to each other. I see it as just a day to recognize love and appreciation for all the important people in your life - not necessarily a day that has to be restricted to "in-love" couples.

    I'm not naive. I know where guys are going with most things. But that doesn't mean that I have to either put out or sit at home alone, as long as I'm honest, and neither do you. Make what you want of it and have fun!
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    I would agree with Aurora but the fact he first suggested to hang out at his place and "watch TV" made me agree with zeke. If you don't have any other plans then you might as well and if it gets uncomfortable and he clearly wants to hook up with you then you can always leave. Well I guess you can't if it's at your place haha but that's why I usually like to meet the guy somewhere with my car so I can always leave if things get awkward. The only guy friends I have are ones I've known since middle school who are like brothers to me and then gay friends. In my experience all the other guys I have attempted to just be friends with ended up having some thing for me and took my friendliness the wrong way. Also, in school even when I attempt to just be platonic classmates with guys I always get vibes that they think I want them or I'm leading the on or something. It's ridiculous lol.

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Well, I agree with zeke that he wouldn't be asking if he wasn't interested in you as a date. Guys just don't have the emotional nuances that women have, with all of those mental relationship buckets. For a guy, if she is good enough to spend time with, it is because she is good enough to sleep with. I have never understood why so many young women seem so oblivious to this reality about men, at least until they are older and all of their guy "friends" either made their moves and were rebuffed or simply moved on.

    But having said all of that, I would normally agree with Aurora that his ulterior motives shouldn't mean that you are forced to sit at home alone. The only complicating factor is that you work with the guy, so you still have to deal with him on a routine basis, which could get complicated if he gets all butt hurt because he made the wrong assumptions.

    I guess the best you can do if you really don't want to be alone on V-Day is to be very upfront with him. That way, he has no cause to claim that you strung him along down the road. I would also strongly reconsider having him hang out with you in your home if you really have no romantic interest in him. This could definitely give him the wrong impression. There has to be something that the two of you could do in a public place.

    In any event, good luck!
    Last edited by rickdugan; 02-09-2015 at 09:54 AM.

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Honestly it does sound like he is interested but of course we don't know the guy so it's going on speculation. Rick makes an interesting point that goes back to the age old "can women and men be friends". They can as long as it's platonic on both sides. I have many male friends but most are married and have no interest in me (and I am friends with the wife usually too). I have a situation now where I have a male friend but there is an underlying romantic vibes, at least on my part. It's the strangest thing because I think he knows I am interested and I think he might be (tells people he is)but yet it has just stayed as friends. He does have some issues he needs to deal with so I'm on the back burner, which makes this even stranger, though he confides in me about everything. I am okay just staying friends if this is the case. Anyway getting back to the point when I was younger and hung out with male friends who were also single, they were in two categories, gay and interested. Many of my male friends thought eventually I would be interested and when I let it be known I wouldn't they moved on. Many believed I led them on.

    Then again Valentine's Day is a sore subject for me. Out of all the men I dated ONE was sweet to me on Valentines Day. He bought me tons of gifts (I bought for him too)and took me out for lobster. We broke up but are still friends. The rest were assholes, several dumped me on Valentines Day or just didn't buy me a gift or do anything, not even a card. The irony is one of them keeps contacting me to try to get together because he doesn't get it.

    Elektra, I'd go out with him, who knows he might be a great guy. I would be a little worried because you work with him but who knows he might just want to get out.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    If you plan to hang out platonic I would go out somewhere not at his house or your house.

    Go out in public and not every place will be packed especially earlier in the day.

    Hanging out with him 1 on 1 in the evening, at the house, on valentines?!? Setting him up to get the wrong idea IMO.

    If you do make a date and host at your house make it early like from 5-7 then don't be afraid to tell him it time to go you've got other things to do.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    He isn't getting into this girls pants any time soon. To be serious, it has to feel right. In the past, it was different, but now I want a connection. Plus, I see him often at work and don't want it to get awkward.

    I think you guys are right. I going to make our plans more public.. I'm going to suggest a dinner and a movie after-all. Me saying "OK, but let's hang at my place and you bring the food". Cut to his imagination: me greeting him at my front door wearing sexy lingerie and stilettos and saying "I'm going to ride you all night long, Cowboy". OH MY GOD, What was I thinking!! I'm starting to get nervous about this!!
    Last edited by Elektra Luxx; 02-09-2015 at 01:58 PM. Reason: added more

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    I doubt his plan was for "just two friends hanging out together".
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Trem, not every guy thinks like that. Electra is pretty intimidating. I would say it's entirely possible he just wants to hang out. Sure he might hope for more, but he may also be man enough to prefer a connection just like she does. And this could be a chance, for either of them, to feel around for that connection.

    Sometimes that something that's missing, isn't a subject that might come up in everyday conversation.

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    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Intimidating? Really? How? I think I'm a very nice person.

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Yes, you are a very nice person, but.....

    Believe me, your looks are Kryptonite to mere mortal men.....

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    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkle Fuzzy View Post
    Yes, you are a very nice person, but.....

    Believe me, your looks are Kryptonite to mere mortal men.....
    If you meant this as a compliment, thank you.

    But, if your saying my looks drain the life force, energy from the men of earth and leave them without a will of their own and I should be stopped at all costs with no regard to life or property, then I take great offense.
    Last edited by Elektra Luxx; 02-13-2015 at 08:33 AM. Reason: grammar

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    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Ok, so here's my plan should he choose to accept it. I meet him at Olive Garden (not exactly a place known for being romantic) to have an early dinner, from there I suggest we take my car to catch 7 o'clock showing of the new "Sponge Bob" movie at the Alamo Drafthouse. (It's a movie theater that serves food and drinks while you watch the movie.) We order a couple of drinks while we watch the movie. The movie is over by 10 o'clock, I take him back to his car, we say our goodbye's, maybe a peck on the cheek. Just two friends enjoying a casual evening together. Actually, I haven't seen him since Monday. I sometimes see him at lunch, but not this week.

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    Featured Member gameover's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    You are a beautiful girl. He's a single guy. He has found what he thinks is a low-risk way to ask you on a date. If you are interested in dating this guy, I would go ahead with your plans. If you aren't interested in dating he may think you led him and on be resentful at work. It you don't directly work with/see him daily at work, it's probably okay. Otherwise, think about how some guys you've rejected/broken up with in the past have acted. Ask yourself if you want to deal with that at work.

    And apparently, there is truth to the saying that "men can't just be friends with women". Here's a link from the highly respected Scientific American Magazine.

    http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...-just-friends/

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    You're letting this stress you out way too badly. Yes, he might like you, would that be something worth exploring? Like someone above said, this is a wimpy way of asking you out. Just do it, I think, worse case scenario, you'll find there's no chemistry. Best case, something could develop. Good luck.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    here's some interesting 'bottom line' analysis regarding Valentine's Day and probable relationships ...

    'Happy Valentine's Day - now cut your losses !'

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Thread jump....

    Mel, nice to see you back doll.

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    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    HOOOORRRRAAAYY!!! Melonie!!! So glad to read your post again!!!

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    Veteran Member Redwolf's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Did it work out well, Elecktra?

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    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Redwolf View Post
    Did it work out well, Elecktra?
    We had fun. We have a lot in common. More details later, working on something at vanilla work.

  32. #22
    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Okay so here are some dets.

    We talked it over Friday at work and I agreed to let him pick me up at my apartment. He picked me up around 5:00 and he took me to a kinda upscale restaurant. Before dinner we ordered drinks. I ordered my favorite drink, a top shelf margarita on the rocks served in a drink shaker. It was really strong and I felt myself getting drunk. I couldn’t take my eyes off his face. I just kept concentrating on his mouth and lips as he was talking. Arrgh, I was drunk with just one margarita. I’m such a light weight drinker anyway, but I was nervous and I didn’t want to have any tummy problems during our date so I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast, so that drink went straight to my head. During dinner we talked about computers, video games, Star Wars, comic books, science and sci fi stuff, a regular nerd fest. He was being kinda flirty and funny and that made me made laugh. After dinner, we went to see the new Sponge Bob movie. It’s a silly, funny movie. I was still a little tipsy so I was laughing everything and I love Sponge Bob so really liked it. Afterward, he takes me home; I gave him a little peck on the lips. Nothing went as I had planned, but it was still a fun time and he was a perfect gentleman.
    Last edited by Elektra Luxx; 02-16-2015 at 09:55 PM. Reason: grammar corrections

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Sounds like a very nice evening.

  35. #24
    Senior Member salzsieder67's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    The best laid schemes of mice and (wo)men often go awry.
    Nice that things went well anyway.

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    Default Re: A Single Girl on Valentine's Day

    Glad your night went better than mine in this situation! My coworker invited me to a work party two weekends ago. I get to the house and we both realized there were a lot of underage people at the house party, as it was also the birthday of the hosting coworker's roommate. He and I peaced out with two other female coworkers to hit the bars instead and have fun. Guy and I used to work in the same field and had tons of fun chatting about it and having a few drinks until I was tipsy and my other coworkers left. I realized he was getting a bit flirty and figured it was the alcohol/wanted to avoid any problems as I'm not single. I suggested we call it a night as I had to work in the a.m. We run into my boyfriend on the way out of the bar and my coworker turns into a giant, jealous asshole, tries to kiss me, and hasn't stopped texting me for like a week. Best part: he knew I was seeing someone and had met my boy before last weekend. Worst part: my boyfriend seriously thought something was going on between jackass and I for a minute there because, unlike me, he'd picked up on the guy flirting with me when they were introduced the week before. Joyous... Guy is fairly professional at work, but things are seriously awkward now.

    Moral of the story: it could go well, but the guy could also assume that a woman, taken or not, who is willing to spend time with him is clearly interested in fucking him and is therefore to blame for leading him on when he gets slapped in the face with reality.


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