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Thread: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

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    Senior Member skripper's Avatar
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    Skull My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Not looking for advice so much as I just needed a place to get tonight off my chest.

    So I got into a fight with my husband because he promised me he'd pay me back the $240 he needed to pick up his prescription. Surprise surprise, he didn't pay me back today. I'm not working because I'm 8 months pregnant, so money is a big issue for me right now. One thing leads to another, we're screaming and yelling at each other...I go lay down and he throws a heart shaped box of chocolates that were on my night stand, right at my fucking face. I get up, pack my bag, he calls me dramatic, I leave. After I checked into the hotel I notice that my forehead is cut from the candy box and it just makes my heart sink.
    I'm alone, I don't have a cell phone and even if I did, I have no one to call. I've always been in abusive relationships, I wish I could have left him before I decided to have his baby, but I'm sick like that.
    Last edited by skripper; 04-21-2015 at 06:25 PM.

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    Veteran Member funismymiddlename's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    honey im sorry that happened to you

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    God/dess ScarletKitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    I sent you a PM.
    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    You're 8 months pregnant with his baby and he threw a box of chocolates in your face?? Oh hell no. I'm so sorry that happened he is clearly an asshole. I guess on a positive note you're close to having your child so you can soon go back to work. There's a lot of successful single mothers working at clubs so you'll be okay. But damn, what a dick. You and your baby will have a better life without him I'm sure.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Get talking to a therapist girl. They will give you practical help too or direct you to those who can. IMO men like this will escalate (he may be getting cold feet as baby gets nearer), I'm thinking a women's shelter- they will have a counsellor on staff too I would think. Good on you for leaving! Stick to it and protect your baby and protect your baby's mum.
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    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Ugh sorry that happened to you.

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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Do you live together officially, as in both your names are on the lease? Cuz if half an apartment/house/fucking tin can is mine and the other person can't safely be there while I am, they're the ones who need to go. So report that. Bonus points if you get a female cop, that'll be like hitting the jackpot. Sorry he's acting like this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    What a fucking jerk, who throws stuff at their wife, never mind their pregnant wife? Time for couples counseling or GTFO

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Throw divorce papers in his.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."


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    God/dess Elektra Luxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    I'm sorry that this happened to you too. What an asshole making you go through this alone. Do have family that might help you?

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    you're PREGNANT with his kid and he throws something at your face??!! even if you weren't pregnant, that is not a joke. men like that just get more and more violent, and men who get violent with their wives get violent with their children. just something to think about , i'm really sorry that happened to you!

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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    You don't need to stay with someone because you are having a baby with them. Yes, you are now stuck with this dude for 18+years in the sense. But you don't have to live or stay married to him. Document your attack. Take a photo of your injuries. Even if its a cut on your forehead.

    You did the best thing last night, you removed yourself from an abusive situation. He threw something at you. Yes it was a box of chocolates, but next time it can be something far worse. Something that can really hurt you and your baby.





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
    Audritwo's asshole sees all, knows all. Spurs on armies of orcs. Casts fear into the dwindling races of Middle-Earth. Fears hobbits.

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    Featured Member kaninchen's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Ohhhh girl. I'm so sorry. *hug*

    You made a really good choice to check into a hotel. You need to keep making good choices and get yourself out of that relationship. I know how hard it is to leave abusive relationships-- I've been there too. But the sad truth is that every day you stay, the harder it gets to leave. Get yourself and your child into the safe, healthy place that you deserve to be in.

    Stay strong and remember that you are worth so, so much more than the way he's treating you.

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    Senior Member stormi's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Know that a lot of us have been in this same situation; I know I have. Keep in mind that a lot of abusive men get more violent when the women leave so I would strongly consider contacting a women' shelter for you and your baby's protection.

    You should know you did the right thing for you and your child. Sending lots of love and light your way.

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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    My first thought was, "Do you need help dumping the body?"

    Sorry this happened, but maybe better now than later.

    If you decide this separation is for good, get some advice on handling the birth. Some areas require his name on the birth certificate, and others don't, and child support can be claimed either way in the right areas.

    With the assault, you may want to get an order of protection, that can be made permanent to keep him from being around the baby, even if he does have to pay child support.

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    God/dess ScarletKitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkle Fuzzy View Post
    My first thought was, "Do you need help dumping the body?"
    Hell yeah! hahahaha - *evil laugh*

    step one:
    step two:
    step three:

    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Senior Member skripper's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    thanks for the support and positive words everyone. I appreciate it!

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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    You can always contact a woman's shelter if you have no where to go.





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
    Audritwo's asshole sees all, knows all. Spurs on armies of orcs. Casts fear into the dwindling races of Middle-Earth. Fears hobbits.

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    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Quote Originally Posted by skripper View Post
    Not looking for advice so much as I just needed a place to get tonight off my chest.

    So I got into a fight with my husband because he promised me he'd pay me back the $240 he needed to pick up his prescription.
    Aside from him being violent at you, the fact that he has to "pay you back" money is a clear sign that your marriage was doomed from the start. There should not be any "his" or "her" money in a marriage in the first place.

    A bit OT, but if any party involved in a marriage has that mentality about money he/she should not had married in the first place.





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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Gosh, I am stunned..what an awful thing to do..aww. Did you have anything to put on the cut, honey? If not, keep it clean & dry so it doesn't get infected.
    Try to stay as calm as you can (not easy) so your health/baby's health is ok.
    We're all with you sweetheart, it will work out.
    There's an online chat Snowy Star has, & I think Scarlett has one also.
    Take care, & hugs


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    ^ I'm married and I disagree about the his and her money thing. If there has been no discussion about budgeting and money that's one thing, but hubby and I sit down and discuss money and we tend to pay halves for everything- although I save the most, but then he has a super account that we would share....

    IMO its OK to have his and her money as long as there is healthy communication and openness to discuss finances if situations change. People aren't black and white we need wriggle room and one person's idea of what constitutes 'good marriage' is not another s.


    *(I'm hoping I don't need to point out that I refer to my example not to an abusive male as a 'good marriage' but sometimes its easier to meet the bull at the gate).
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    ^ I'm married and I disagree about the his and her money thing. If there has been no discussion about budgeting and money that's one thing, but hubby and I sit down and discuss money and we tend to pay halves for everything- although I save the most, but then he has a super account that we would share....

    IMO its OK to have his and her money as long as there is healthy communication and openness to discuss finances if situations change. People aren't black and white we need wriggle room and one person's idea of what constitutes 'good marriage' is not another s.


    *(I'm hoping I don't need to point out that I refer to my example not to an abusive male as a 'good marriage' but sometimes its easier to meet the bull at the gate).
    Right on, Flick! I've never been married, but I've had 2 live in relationships, both abusive. Money came into play in a negative way, & I feel it was part of the abuse/control.


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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    ^ It's amazing in hindsight what an abusive partner manipulates to control, tv remote controls can be used! Its all the head game.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Quote Originally Posted by skripper View Post
    thanks for the support and positive words everyone. I appreciate it!
    Hope you're feeling Better today, hon.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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  46. #25
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    Default Re: My husband threw a box of chocolate at my face

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    There should not be any "his" or "her" money in a marriage in the first place.

    A bit OT, but if any party involved in a marriage has that mentality about money he/she should not had married in the first place.
    I totally disagree with this, as in my own experience in a happy and healthy relationship I haven't found that to be the case. like a lot of peeps there's 'my' money, there's 'his' money and then there's 'our' money. Sure it all comes from the same origins but I think my marriage is healthier because of our approach, in that neither of us has any economic control over the other. Our method allows us to collaborate and contribute to shared goals for mutual benefit, as well as granting each of the freedom to make our own financial choices. For sure one can have a healthy relationship and completely pool funds as well, but my point is a blanket statement like the one quoted negates the fact that each couple is unique, and will have different ways of handling things depending on what works best for both parties involved.

    to the OP, no matter how you decide to proceed I hope you consider getting some counseling. One thing that struck me in your opening post was the reference to "I've always been in abusive relationships". If that's the case the common denominator in each of those bad relationships is you. I'm not in any way blaming you for this at all, rather I'm just suggesting that there may be subconscious ways in which you make choices that result in the the cycle repeating itself. That's actually incredibly common amongst women who have been exposed to violence, for that reason being in one violent relationship (or growing up in a home characterized by violence) increases the odds that future relationships will be violent as well.

    You (and your baby) deserve to be safe, happy and healthy. Congratulations on your pregnancy and wishing you all the success in the world in building a future for you and your child. I'm so sorry this happened, please take the wicked advice chicas have posted above and make your health and safety your number one priority.

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