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Thread: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

  1. #1
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    Skull So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

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    Last edited by xxxGothBarbie; 02-26-2015 at 06:11 AM. Reason: personal info needs deleted
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    When you say your bf is abusive, what do you mean? If he is physically abusive, get out, get in a shelter, and go from there. If not...
    You really don't have enough money to move out right now.
    My first suggestion would be to beg a close friend or family member to let me stay with them for six months to a year. Then get a job (doesn't have to be stripping, could be bartending, waitressing, whatever) and save like you've never saved before.
    If you really have no one to turn to, perhaps you could consider a job that has room and board included, such as being an au pair, or staying with a disabled or elderly person. It would take longer to save, but you would have a stable home.
    If none of those will work for you, then I suggest you stay where you are for right now, (keep looking for a better place to work though) be as nice as you can to everyone (bf, parents, managers at job) knowing that the whole time you are saving up your "eff you" money.
    If the cheapest place you can find to stay is $400. per week, I suggest having at the very least, $1200. saved up, and more if your job is shaky. It won't be easy, but knowing you have a plan might help make everything a bit more bearable in the meantime.
    Good luck!

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Bike week is coming up in Daytona, fl..I don't know where you are but that's a big event where you stand to make a lot of money. If you're near that area I'd suggest heading that way.

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Goth, you have a working car, a little bit of money in your pocket and, oh yeah, you're a stripper who should be able to work almost anywhere. You can be as free as you want to be and you don't have to take crap from anyone if you don't want to. IHMO the only things keeping you in that situation are your own fear and anxieties.

    If I was you, I would already be on the road towards my next stop. I know you love the little beach town that you're in, but you've been struggling for a while now in your desire to stay there. The town isn't going anywhere, so maybe you could return after you're in a better spot in life. There are also lots of other beach towns along two coastlines for you to try out.

    I've seen a pic of you and I doubt that you'd have trouble getting hired in many places, but if you are unsure, why not pick a cheaper area with a lot of club options and no licensing requirements? That way you can get going right away somewhere. Also, a few weeks in cheaper motels won't kill you while you start to put together a bank roll.

    Idk, but what's the point in bearing all of the downsides of dancing if you cannot enjoy the freedom that is supposed to come with it?

    In any event, good luck!

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    That's awful. Definitely get out of that house as soon as possible, the stress will affect your work. I know you're having car issues, won't even recommend camming cuz his parents are there and you don't need the drama of ever being caught doing that from their house. Sorry I don't have much advice, he sounds like an asshole and abuse just escalates-it's like drug addicts needing a higher dose to get fucked up, his abuse will become more and more severe. Also, super glue in the keyholes is always a nice parting gift
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Guess I can't read, your car IS fixed. If you have enough to cover two weeks of rent somewhere, just go. Not every club will be busy, but if you work the two weeks you've paid rent for, you'll have some money saved. Not sure how it is out there in February, but just work more shifts. It's tiring,but it won't be forever. Please, for the love of God, leave. It's the emotional equivalent of living in a toxic waste dump. It doesn't seem like it's worth saving, it's affecting your sanity, and,most importantly, it's unsafe.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    OMG glad your car is finally fixed! Girl, this state has dozens of adorable little beach towns. Trust. You will find another one where you can work in a healthy environment and be free from that abusive motherfucker.

    I would work through the weekend to get a little bit more padding on your bank account, though -- $200 is pretty thin in case there's any emergencies. If I were you, I would get the motel (so you can have room to breathe) and spend a week working my butt off to save up. Then I'd hit the road.

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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

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    Last edited by xxxGothBarbie; 02-26-2015 at 06:13 AM. Reason: personal
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Well, hun, I am so glad ur car's fixed..& I'm sorry I don't have much advice. I will send u a pm tho. .


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Arrow Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    The sounds like an asshole and abuse just escalates-it's like drug addicts needing a higher dose to get fucked up, his abuse will become more and more severe. Also, super glue in the keyholes is always a nice parting gift
    Ooh, I needed to read & reiterate the bold part.
    Sorry for the T/J.


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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    The nice thing about paying the high cost of an extended stay, in addition to not having a lease, is that everything is included. You don't have water, electric, cable TV, or any other housing costs except that weekly charge.

    Some smaller mom n pop places may offer a lower rate if you mention a longer term stay, say a couple of months instead of a couple of weeks.

    If you should decide to try FL, I know a small mom n pop extended stay in Palm Coast that is clean, not fancy, and literally a 5 minute stroll from a nice Atlantic coast beach.

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    ^ yes that's very true! But how much is too much to be paying per week at a motel though? It iS in a cool, beautiful spot on the beach & I do love it there but I can't seem to find anything under $375 per week before tax. This one has a fridge, coffee maker &. microwave but no kitchenette. The others have a kitchen but it's an extra $50-70 more per week & I eat out alot sooooo maybe I'll just stick to what's cheaper.
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    With no kitchenette, a single person with a 1or 2 eye hot plate can fair pretty well. Add a small charcoal grill and it can be quite comfortable.

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    ^ well i wanted to cook small things like grilled chicken or pork chops maybe one night out of the week w/ some potatoes or something healthy like that. I could prob make it work but yes KAraLynn it IS outrageous to be paying those kind of weekly rates for a motel but I do love it there. Not completely sure if it's doable or not based on my shitty week I've had at work this week. I'd seriously rather work & stay in a place that offers me a decent cut from dancing & motel living... PM me those motels if you don't ming Thanks a mil <3
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Goth, you have a working car, a little bit of money in your pocket and, oh yeah, you're a stripper who should be able to work almost anywhere. You can be as free as you want to be and you don't have to take crap from anyone if you don't want to. IHMO the only things keeping you in that situation are your own fear and anxieties.

    If I was you, I would already be on the road towards my next stop. I know you love the little beach town that you're in, but you've been struggling for a while now in your desire to stay there. The town isn't going anywhere, so maybe you could return after you're in a better spot in life. There are also lots of other beach towns along two coastlines for you to try out.

    I've seen a pic of you and I doubt that you'd have trouble getting hired in many places, but if you are unsure, why not pick a cheaper area with a lot of club options and no licensing requirements? That way you can get going right away somewhere. Also, a few weeks in cheaper motels won't kill you while you start to put together a bank roll.

    Idk, but what's the point in bearing all of the downsides of dancing if you cannot enjoy the freedom that is supposed to come with it?

    In any event, good luck!
    This^ you've got time and freedom, very precious things. Get the hell out of there. Go anywhere - even if it doesn't make "sense", and be strong enough to get through the first few weeks when you'll miss everyone. Three things will happen: you'll be proud of yourself for being strong, you'll take a deep breath and really see your previous situation for what it is, and, after raging for a few weeks, Prince Charming will realize that you can walk away at any time and he'll show you whether he's a prince or a frog. Make the choice to be there from strength, not fear.

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Try searching airbnb as well for cheaper accommodation
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Don't forget about hostels too. You could alternate a few days at a hostel when you just need a quick place to sleep and then do the hotel when you'll have more time to relax .

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    Don't forget about hostels too. You could alternate a few days at a hostel when you just need a quick place to sleep and then do the hotel when you'll have more time to relax .
    I kinda have to wonder about the safety of those, a few people I know have had bad experiences.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    delete
    Last edited by xxxGothBarbie; 02-26-2015 at 06:14 AM. Reason: personal
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Your car is working, and you have a portable job that gives you opportunities just about any where. Use the freedom you have available to you, don't limit yourself.

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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    What area are you in Goth? Sorry I didn't read every post here if you mentioned it. One of my best friends lives in Long Beach and her place is SO close to the beach and in a cute, nice area and she only pays like 800 something a month for an adorable studio. Maybe look in that area? I LOVEE long beach and want to try living there eventually. Whenever I visit we just walk everywhere and I love the vibe. I'm not sure what the closest clubs to LB are but I used to work at a club that was 90 miles away and I made the drive every Fri and Sat to work. I made good money there so it was worth the hour and a half drive. Also I was always trying hard at work because I drove so far I was determined to make it worth the gas $ and time. I think if you work hard enough you can live wherever you want and be okay. Like other people said you have wheels!! I don't have a car right now so I know how much it sucks and how stuck you can feel. Luckily you aren't dealing with that anymore so get on outta there!

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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    I'm not gonna lie that I'm afraid of having trouble possibly getting hired at clubs right away while on the road. maybe my self image is warped from this asshole I've lived with for 2 months :/ I'm also afraid that I'll run out of what little money I've got saved & end up stranded somewhere I'm unhappy....
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  31. #23
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    SOMEONE will take you, what area are you planning on venturing to?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

  32. #24
    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    I wanted to start in Denver then go south to Florida. My buddy wanted me to go with her to Denver for a couple of weeks & it sounded like a cool idea & still does I just have heard the horror stories of getting hired over there. I've worked in Florida before but not at my current weight. I'm prob just overanalyzing everything. I just don't want to end up broke & stranded somewhere.
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  33. #25
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    Default Re: So much stress and confused as to what to do now....

    Does Denver not have any dives? Is there anything an hour or two away more lax on hiring? Worse case scenario, if they won't take you as a dancer, they may take you as a server or bartender?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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