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Thread: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

  1. #26
    Veteran Member ivybunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    I'm a (selectively) big fan of MDMA and psychedelic therapy. But I will say that with the paranoia, it's probably not a good idea for you right now. I did some while I was depressed and it forced me to confront some of the things that were really keeping me down. It did, however, make me insanely anxious, which is something that was going on in my life. I also have a weird sort of body dysmorphia (more gender related than eating related) and I was just UNABLE to deal with the sensory experience of being bodied. All this considered, I'd put off this suggestion just until you get these issues (anxiety, paranoia, body issues) a bit under control.

    I'm going to second all of the vitamin/mineral suggestions. Vitamin D is one of the necessary components of 5-HTP, the chemical precursor to serotonin (the drug usually responsible for making sure you're not sitting motionless in your bathrobe for weeks at a time). I've also had incredible success with Vitamin B complex as well. I tend to find that days when I take a multivitamin, B-complex, and 5-HTP (you can find this at your local drug store or if you really can't, a natural food store or co-op) I'm actually able to get out of bed. That given, usually I'm too depressed to get out of bed to get the damned things, so keep it RIGHT next to you in the morning WITH water (since I usually can't force myself to get that either) and let it sink in for a bit, doing something you like and see if you can go out for a small walk or something - exercise is proven to be one of the best possible ways to battle depression. I can promise that even if you're not at 100%, your day will undoubtedly better than if you didn't do this.

    Big motherfucking hugs your way, chica!

    xx Ivy

    Quote Originally Posted by missyamaya View Post
    Also, I forgot to add that psychedelic mushrooms are proven to help against depression. There's a lot of information online, but here's a link anyway! I've tried them before and they're amazing (for me). http://howtousepsychedelics.org/depression/

    I'm trying to get some this week. I personally avoid all pharm drugs, but I know some people may feel they need them to cope. I went to a therapist a while back and was told that I should be on them, but really I've been fine/happy after that until around now (2 years later). Usually, for me, it's a personal growing type thing. If I mask that feeling with drugs I think it would be more detrimental, not only for my body, but my mind as well. I think depression can be a catalyst for great change in one's life. I'm also at a very, very low point so I don't say this lightly. But I'm going to try mushrooms and let you know if things get better. <3


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  3. #27
    Veteran Member ivybunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    I also forgot to mention, that on top of everything mentioned above by chicas who have almost all been in your shoes, BE COMPASSIONATE WITH YOURSELF. This is probably the best thing you can do for yourself when you're depressed *and* anxious. The anxiety means you're probably being incredibly hard on yourself and stuck in a never ending pattern of not doing what you think you should then freaking out that you're not. Sometimes the circuit breaker of just being compassionate with yourself, almost divorcing yourself for yourself and asking what you'd say to someone who is feeling how you're feeling, can make things better.


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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    Quote Originally Posted by missyamaya View Post
    Winter is also a hard time.
    This is definitely true for me. I'm in the foulest moods during the winter time, and am just miserable. The cold weather making my bones ache. The constant reminders everywhere (around Christmas/New Year, and Valentine's Day, especially) of the fact that I'm still single.

    Summer time (as well as spring) is when I'm much happier.
    My referral link for models to join the Boleyn Models daily pay program
    https://cammodelpay.com/ref?page=&campaign=&affToken=NDcx

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  7. #29
    Member maven's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    He left because he was a freeloader. Instead of paying you $10 for a flash or going private he got it for free. He never intended to pay.
    I figured that was the case! I just wanted him to tell me if my nipples were big or not haha. Last night went so much better. I said hi to everyone that came in and got three short privates in an hour. I had noobie burnout (is that a thing? ) so I took a break for the night but today I'm gonna go on longer.

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  9. #30
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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    hi!sheshe anxiety depression,panic , stress very very easy to cure, i have experienced this last year sept. 2014,very slow on my site so i stop working to my site,for few months i keep watching scary movies i never sleep,I live alone no friends,far away family,i go home once a year i live in the big city.One day i feel anxious I go to DR. because am very scared and i live alone i tell to him i feel strange he told me i have anxiety stress,depression,panic, he give me anti depression medication( lexapro,) is very addictive pills make u sleep. but this useless, i stop after 1 week ,and my dr. told me seach what is anxiety depression.I seach on youtube how to cure anxiety there's so many youtuber.What i did is relax ,my self.walking everyday in the park,hiking,biking.yoga,i go to strawberry farm.My whole life i never go out i spend all day cammodel work 100% i go out only if i go shopping,If you feel anxious you cant work too.so i dont online for 1 month i just keep doing,sightseeing after 1 month everything ok back to normal ,and am very happy now back to work again and i stop watching scary movies, but till now i keep doing exercise everyday.Watch this i found on youtube i love him i watch him many times before when i feel anxious he is good teacher.(Ralph Smart)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAl_0ccocJA

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  11. #31
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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    L-theanine is good for anxiety, if anyone's up for trying anything new.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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  13. #32
    Veteran Member lemonberry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    Quote Originally Posted by maven View Post
    Hey. I had my first night of camming last night and I think it'll be tougher than I realize. I was extremely nervous, finally bit the bullet. Then I watched as people came in and left. One asked how my night was and then left after I answered. Another asked if I had tattoos and left when I said no. Another asked if I wanted to go private and said he had to know how big my nipples were first, and could he get a sneak peek? I guess I have this need to please everyone because I flashed my nipple, and then he left. (Not sure if they were too big or not big enough? Haha) Then I was disconnected twice as people were filling my room and that left me too discouraged and I was really sleepy anyway. But I experienced all of those moments as rejection. I woke up pretty depressed. I hope I can get used to the little rejections. People are looking for their fantasy girl, you CAN'T please everybody.
    Cam long enough and I promise you that you won't feel the need to please everyone

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  15. #33
    Featured Member Missbeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    Quote Originally Posted by sheshe View Post
    I have been feeling so depressed lately.
    I feel so lonely, sad. Really depressed. I keep crying everyday.
    I want to work. I want to go online. I want to earn money but then i couldn't get myself to go online because i feel so depressed. Whenever i start to go online i start to feel anxious.

    I always feel like Customers are secretly talking to each other about me and making fun of me or laughing at me, playing at me. I always feel like that whenever i go online. Even though i want to go online i always end up feeling depressed and start to get irritated and so i close my cam.

    Has this ever happen to any of you? I don't know what to do. Because i need to work and want to earn money but i can't help but feel depressed and paranoid.
    I've for sure felt this way before. I was depressed for a long time. I fell into gambling, lost all of my money and hit rock bottom... looking back it all stemmed from unhappiness.
    What helped me get out of it was thinking exactly what you said at the end "Because i need to work and want to earn money"
    That's it for me. I need to work. I need to earn money. I need to pay my bills. Focus on that, not the negative. The way I look at it is every dollar I earn camming is a dollar I didnt have before.
    I promise custies aren't talking about you or plotting against you. Heck even if they are just remember "Every dollar I make from camming is a dollar I didn't have before.
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  17. #34
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    Default Re: Depressed and getting Paranoid. I cannot go online. Please Help.

    Hello,

    Thank you everyone for all of your advice and messages. I am sorry that i wasn't able to reply quick. It went so bad for me that's why I decided not use computer for a while. I still don't feel great going online but then i think it's much better now compared to before. Whenever i feel like that i just leave the computer and rest.

    I think this started after knowing some customers stalked me. Especially those customers whom i blocked. I had these customers for years but then some of them get angry at me because i don't want to meet them after all these years and so they started to insult me. They even reported me or complain to the site about me blocking them.
    I blocked them, but then after almost a year they came back to my room and started to insult me and they were like

    "So you are still camming? Do you plan to show your pussy to strangers to get old? and you have changed your style, you are not that hot anymore" and they started to insult me and how i look blah blah."

    There was one that his insult really hurt me. Saying that he is not really interested in cammodels and that he was just pretending to be interested or to be kind and pretending to praise them even though it's not real and told me if i think he is interested in me then i am wrong. He asked my age and started to compare me to this woman he is courting, same age as me but compared to her i am nothing cause that her is graduate of PHD and is very successful while I have to show my body in order to earn money...and we are just the same age.

    Everyday they visit me even after i blocked them, they still managed to go in my room to insult me so it kind of made me depressed. I don't know why they have to do that.

    I decided to work in different site because of those guys but then after i started working in other site i started to feel paranoid like "what if they can see me?" what if they are watching" what if they know everything i am doing" those thoughts keep going in my head every time i go online.

    So that's how it started. Up until now i still feel like that but compared to before i am better now.

    Thank you everyone.
    Last edited by sheshe; 03-12-2015 at 04:28 AM.

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