Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: "Lets talk first"

  1. #1
    Featured Member EastCoastDancer01's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,046
    Thanks
    4,135
    Thanked 2,799 Times in 862 Posts

    Default "Lets talk first"

    These 3 words piss me off so much! When I go up to a guy I said hi, hows it going? and then I ask him if he is thinking about doing a dance today. It helps me weed out the deadbeats who have no intention of buying dances. If he says no, I move along. If he says yes, I tell him I am available and would love to give him one. And then I get the guys who say "can you sit down and talk a little first?" I used to do this, and I got burned a couple of times. It sucks because you waste your time and energy for someone who clearly has no respect for it, and you get nothing to show for it. I decided to stop giving away freebies all together. Now whenever I get a guy asking me to sit and talk, I tell him if he wants to get to know me, the best place to talk would be in a private dance away from all the noise and people, where you have me to yourself for as long as you want! Can anyone else relate to this? How do you respond to guys who say lets talk first?

  2. #2
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    Some guys who have intention of buying dances do want a little bit of chit chat first so they don't feel so much like breathing wallets.

    I think you can tell a guy is wasting time if he drills you with questions and purposely tries to stall for time. In my opinion if it's been a few minutes and he hasn't tipped or agreed to a dance then on to the next.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 02-18-2015 at 06:55 PM.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

  3. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    491
    Thanks
    2,517
    Thanked 1,320 Times in 344 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    If you don't like talking to guys, by all means, send them my way. I make 60% of my money from guys I can charm by talking to them, they pay my bills and come back to do it again - sometimes weekly.

  5. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to NightGoddess For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Everywhere
    Posts
    457
    Thanks
    184
    Thanked 1,007 Times in 293 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    Night goddess, that is how it goes for basically all strippers. We all learn to talk to and charm the guys. I think the OP is just venting/looking to commiserate.

    I totally understand the desire to dick-punch any guy who says those three words cause they annoy me too. Just BC of flashbacks to the bad experiences I've had listening to boring, mile-a-minute windbags who seem to never shut up. Believe me, you are not alone! Hearing 'let's talk' makes me feel downright stabby sometimes but there are ways to deal...

    For one, set a time limit. Say 3 songs max. Steer the conversation, don't let him take control of it.

    I'm not sure how new you are but you will learn to recognize the conversations that will never lead to a dance.

    Always remember it's totally fine to walk away from a guy even if he's mid-sentence. If he is wasting your time, and you know it, then he deserves to be walked away from!
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

  7. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to KikiGem For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    Senior Member AriesDanceFlame7's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    92
    Thanks
    294
    Thanked 48 Times in 23 Posts
    My Mood
    Chatty

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    Honestly, my strategy is to always chat some and try to gut them of their darkest memories. I'm a Psych major working on a minor in Criminal Justice so I try to get them to feel comfortable and bring up "personal" tidbits about myself (which are small like "I have no time to socialize because my college schedule is SO busy so I'm sort of isolated and that's why I love the club.") being careful to insert typically well-known psych terminology i.e., "isolated" in the first example to trigger them into thinking I am being genuine. Long story short, I pry gently and lovingly for information about their divorces, failed marriages, suicide attempts, drug issues, et cetera by letting them think they have a very personal "leak" in on my personal life. It's a game of manipulation I've finally started to perfect. This also makes the men see you as just human enough to not want to try to assault you in the back because they feel "closer" to you. Sometimes too close though, and that's where the "You need to respect my boundaries. I am not giving you consent to touch me there." comes in.

    I'm technically a newbie because despite dancing since July 2014 to October 2014 and now starting up again because my first club was extremely dive-bar-like even though it looked nice. Shitty customers, management, everything. Worst club, I think, in South Florida. But I find using my studies to emotionally manipulate these men and making THEM vulnerable works. They feel ashamed and guilty for telling such stories and then BOOM, dances roll in once I inquire gently. My game is the "Sweet, Sexy, Therapist" and it's working for me.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to AriesDanceFlame7 For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    Featured Member EastCoastDancer01's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,046
    Thanks
    4,135
    Thanked 2,799 Times in 862 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    Thanks for all the replies so far. I'm not new to dancing, I'm just losing my patience and developing less of a tolerance for bullshit. I used to be super friendly with customers and had no problem talking to them. But I dont plan on dancing much longer and im not as interested in sitting and talking as I used to be. My style has changed, and now I'm all about business. I set time limits when I used to sit and talk with guys and they would burn me when their time was up by telling me no when I finally asked for the dance. Now I dont even give them that chance. I'm thinking of switching clubs and working at this nude juice bar where guys go specifically for dances and not for conversation.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to EastCoastDancer01 For This Useful Post:


  12. #7
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    ^ You should definitely switch clubs. I was working at a topless alch club for a while and it was a completely different hustle from the club I'm at now (nude no alch). At the topless club I always had to sit and chat & maybe have a drink with the customers before they spent any money (any REAL money besides just a $20 single dance). Most of the customers would pretend they'll spend so you sit and get drunk with them & a guy immediately wanting to go to VIP was so rare. Maybe it's because they're already spending so much on drinks they don't want to fork more over for dances? Idk. But it can definitely be mentally draining having to sit and 'talk first' with every customer and after a while it makes me feel so burnt out from stripping completely. Now I'm at the nude no alch club it's like a complete 180 and guys are pretty much there to spend money. If it's slow I'll sit for maybe a song or two with a guy but even then I rarely spend much time talking to these guys before they start getting dances & (mostly) VIPs. I don't think it's just me it's just how the club is and I love it.

    So yeah it sounds like you need to move clubs like me. Now I never feel mentally drained and I make way more money for what feels like less effort. At my old club I would feel like I worked so hard for less money trying to 'get to know' so many customers before they would spend. You could sell champagne rooms easier there but even then a whole hour or so with one customer is tiring for me. I like to bounce from customer to customer and make my money quickly. Now it's like VIP after VIP with very little talking & it's definitely ideal for us ladies who are over convos with customers.

  13. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to 22lligm For This Useful Post:


  14. #8
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Omicron Persei 8
    Posts
    4,508
    Thanks
    12,529
    Thanked 13,934 Times in 3,720 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    I've always had to chat with customers but only for a couple songs. Only recently have I gotten a few time wasters, but normally if I ask if they need company, they realize I'm going to ask for a dance and say yes or no based on whether they want one.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Selina M For This Useful Post:


  16. #9
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    "You wanna talk, see a priest. Time is money."
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  17. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to tempest666 For This Useful Post:


  18. #10
    Featured Member EastCoastDancer01's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,046
    Thanks
    4,135
    Thanked 2,799 Times in 862 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    LOL best response!! ^^

  19. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to EastCoastDancer01 For This Useful Post:


  20. #11
    Member TabithaTease's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Lakewood, Colorado
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 10 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    or see a shrink! That;s also a good one. Time wasters and talkers. Hell I'd ask them if I could just could talk to them at their office.

  21. The Following User Says Thank You to TabithaTease For This Useful Post:


  22. #12
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    206
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked 270 Times in 94 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    I don't mind some chit chat for a couple songs to let him warm up to me (if I feel he's going to spend money on me), but I'm not going to talk for too long unless he's tipping me.

    If I feel like they're saying that to get my attention for free, I'll suggest we go right upstairs where "we can have a more intimate conversation and get to know eachother better."

  23. #13
    Veteran Member domina's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2014
    Location
    EST, USA
    Posts
    254
    Thanks
    375
    Thanked 538 Times in 165 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    I always chat 20 seconds- 1 minute with stock questions to gauge if they want a dance immediately or not.

    If not sure, but maybe, i give it about 3 minutes (1 song) to persuade them for a yes. Before then I can usually tell if it is a "no" or not.

    If they're interesting and have a good connection to me and seem to want to talk, i'll chat for up to 3 songs MAX, and it should be a sale by then. If I bothered to sit with someone for 3 songs that means they should be buying more than just 1 dance.

  24. The Following User Says Thank You to domina For This Useful Post:


  25. #14
    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,911
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked 6,402 Times in 1,573 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    last time a guy said this I was like "ok" and sat next to him silently, stared at him blankly. When he realized he would have to carry the conversation he jumped up for a dance lol. (I was tired that day and just didn't want to put in anymore effort into the sale but it worked in that case)

  26. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to wednesday86 For This Useful Post:


  27. #15
    Veteran Member zoezoebelle's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    366
    Thanks
    828
    Thanked 851 Times in 270 Posts

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    I always talk to my customers first, and it gets me a lot of dances even when the club is empty. I start out with a 2-5 minute chat, ask him if he wants a dance, and if he says "not yet" or "lets talk more first" I remind him that I'm on the clock, and ask if I can come back later. Or sometimes I'll say, "I'd be happy to chat more, but I need to make money. You can tip me to chat with you." Sometimes they actually do.

  28. #16
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    75
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 201 Times in 55 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: "Lets talk first"

    I'll talk to most guys for one or two songs. I have 2 song rule. Unless I have a good feeling, I'm not wasting more than two songs on a guy. And I use this time to run some recon on the guy. No matter what the conversation is I'll try to compliment him on something - shirt, jeans, shoes etc. And then I'll usually play dumb to gauge his response and whether he's got any money. If he's got a nice dress shirt on, I'll say that the shirt is very nice and ask if it's from Structure (kinda of middle of road store). Depending on his response I can usually tell if he's got any money at all...

    After two songs, if he's not buying a dance or tipping me to stay and talk, I'm out. And I'll usually say something about time is money and about having to pay my bills.

  29. The Following User Says Thank You to KariSwitch For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 69
    Last Post: 11-14-2014, 03:51 AM
  2. How many use the "we'll meet up after, but lets do a VIP first" line?
    By thomaskmatai in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 01-03-2014, 05:21 PM
  3. Beware she who "happily" lets you lick them
    By Pulsenflow in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 04-18-2011, 10:50 PM
  4. lets talk about age shall we? Feeling "old!"
    By Danni in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 09-07-2009, 09:44 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •