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Thread: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

  1. #1
    Senior Member Hysterical's Avatar
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    Default Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    I do a lot of shows with dirty talk, SPH, and JOI. Is it weird that I feel awkward doing these shows when he is home? He thinks it is and we argued all night about it. I want to be able to cam and have my phone lines on when he is home so I can make the money I used to make when I lived by myself.

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    Featured Member Missbeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Is there anyway you can make your room more sound proof?
    I totally understand it feeling awkward. I used to live in a 2 room TINY apartment with my bf and I always felt like he could hear.
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    I don't like camming when my boyfriend is over. Idk why really. I guess I'm just more comfortable doing it alone, if I had to do this job at a studio I probably wouldn't be doing it.

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    He knows you do this and make a lot of money I think he should be supportive and figure out a way to stop listening to you. He could put on headphones or earplugs or even help you soundproof your cam space so that a compromise can be reached. It's just ridiculous that he would have a problem with a pertinent part of your job. I mean, would you tell him to stop calling clients because you didn't like him talking to other people? It's the same thing.
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Quote Originally Posted by Missbeth View Post
    Is there anyway you can make your room more sound proof?
    I totally understand it feeling awkward. I used to live in a 2 room TINY apartment with my bf and I always felt like he could hear.
    I second the sound proofing. Hopefully that will help.

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    Senior Member Hysterical's Avatar
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    I was looking into buying some soundproof panels but we are moving May 1st, so I figured I'd wait it out. Honestly, I think I'd be more comfortable camming and taking calls when he is home if he didn't want me to do it. He takes it as an insult that it makes me uncomfortable, basically tells me I need to grow up and be more open with him. That makes me feel like he wants to listen in. I think if he actually heard the things I say on cam he'd get uncomfortable, so I want to avoid that as well.

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    It's not weird at all...I HATE IT when my boyfriend spies on me when I'm in a private! We too fought about it. It's kinda hard letting yourself go and being in the moment when someone is gawking or eavesdropping on you- especially when it's something so intimate such as sex work. So I totally understand and it's not weird.

    But since he lives there with you...you have to come up with some sort of compromise. People outside of our work don't understand either- ESPECIALLY men! They get so butt hurt because naturally, they are territorial. Explain to him that people open up when they are ready- being forced to be "open with him" makes you uncomfortable and tell him in a nice way maybe he can watch sometime (even if it's no time soon, lol). With my nosy ass boyfriend, once I let him watch ONE show, he got over it. They're curious until they see what's going on and then they won't care after that.

    Or maybe give him sexy attention before you get online? Because sometimes men are like babies and just want their attention and reassurance (aka anything sexy)

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    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    I feel you. Mine jerks off to it. I feel like I can't relax when he's home. Makes it super awkward. Plus how do you jerk off to the fake orgasms and the mindless same dirty talk. It has made me lose some respect for him. Makes me feel like he's just like THEM.

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    This can be hard I think it's because when we work we're going into our personas/ alter egos lol.. And that's not who we are around our partners... The thing is he has to keep himself busy he probably won't be listening to you..
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    I've been camming off and on since I was 18 and have been together with my husband for about a dozen years, I love him, I tell him 99% of everything and I still don't like to cam when he's within listening range. It's nothing to do with him or my (awesomely happy) relationship worth him. It's because what goes on in chat is between me and the person I'm focused on, and really it's not *me* is *Charley*, my alter ego. I go to a very different head space when I'm working than I would if I were interacting with my hubs. I can't let go and really very into it if I know he's playing attention, never been able to. Our solution is that my cam time is his gaming time. Video games drown out just about anything lol
    Last edited by CharleyQuinn; 02-22-2015 at 11:59 AM. Reason: My phone likes to switch words around on me, the meanie

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Yes. I totally agree with everything these ladies are saying. My boyfriend is home for a lot of the time that I work, and he can definitely hear me. At first it was really awkward for me, for the same reasons- It isn't really me, it's my brand and alter ego that I was being.... then we talked about it, and now he works with me. For example, he will be a cameraman when I'm making videos- and since he's a guy he knows some things that guys will like that I hadn't even thought of before. He will help edit videos, and take pics. It helps a lot knowing that he is working on the business aspect of things with me, and realizes that it's not really me.. he's the only one who gets that!

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    My husband leaves when I work on the weekends, because he doesnt want hear any of it. Maybe ask yours to do the same for a few hours?

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Quote Originally Posted by Hysterical View Post
    I was looking into buying some soundproof panels but we are moving May 1st, so I figured I'd wait it out. Honestly, I think I'd be more comfortable camming and taking calls when he is home if he didn't want me to do it. He takes it as an insult that it makes me uncomfortable, basically tells me I need to grow up and be more open with him. That makes me feel like he wants to listen in. I think if he actually heard the things I say on cam he'd get uncomfortable, so I want to avoid that as well.
    I put an extra mattress we have on the outside of my door when my bfs mom is over (she knows what I do but obv I still don't want her to hear) so you don't have I buys any special soundproofing stuff.. Get creative... Towel under crack of door/furniture in front of door.... Okay it sounds silly but it blocks out sound and it's free. When you move make sure the walls aren't thin at the new place last year when I moved the first thing I did was walk into the room that was to be my camroom, shut the door and sing loudly lol... My bf said he couldn't hear so we found our new house lol.

    As far as your husband saying you need to grow up...sounds like he's the one who needs to grow up. You can be open with someone without giving up your privacy. It's not even about it being camming... A lot if time in relationships one's job is one thing they get for themselves and that's okay.... If somethin makes you uncomfortable he shouldn't push. If you camming is making him uncomfortable to the point he feels the need to listen in he needs to voice his concerns.
    Quote Originally Posted by JackAlexander View Post
    "If no one is complaining about the price, the price is too low."
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    When I first started camming I kind of just told my husband "I'm going to start today!!!" and although I did all this research into camming beforehand and tried to tell him as much as I could, He didn't really prepare for it. He was not prepared.

    He was very uncomfortable after the first couple days because of what he heard. Then we sat down and talked about it. When I told him that it was completely an un-sexual thing for me (which a lot of guys really really don't understand) he loosened up and accepted it. It's important to have the "talk" with your significant other. Reassure his manlyhood that he is the only person that you are interested in. Explain your reasons for camming, and how you feel while you are doing it.

    Alot of pornstars talk about how when they are filming they don't feel anything, because it's a job, they are acting, and they are not attracted to the person who is penetrating them. Guys tend to not really understand that. A guy can look at pictures of tits and get turned on, whereas if I look at a dick picture I could care less. I actually get pretty turned off from it. It does absolutely NOTHING for me.

    You can also reassure him that you won't have any real orgasms on cam, but really only say this if it is the truth. Also make sure that you have a healthy sex life. Don't let camming take up your sex life. HOWEVER, it's important for him to know that even though you have been working all day and doing "sexual acts' that it's not a guarantee that you'll want to have sex after, and that he shouldn't expect it. He may feel like "Your doing it for them, why not for me" but it's important for him to understand that camming doesn't satisfy you sexually which is why your not interested, it's that you just aren't interested. Doing sex acts on cam, versus in real life with your partner who you care about is completely different.

    I'm also just going to come right out and say, that if you have any relationship issues, trust issues, or sex issues. That all of that is going to be MAGNIFIED with you being a webcam model. Camming didn't ruin my marriage, there were already issues there for me and we had an unhealthy sex life. But the fortunate thing is that it made me realize that, and by the time we separated I was financially stable enough to support myself. Unfortunately, my ex-husband now is convinced that it was camming that ruined our relationship. It wasn't, we were doomed from the beginning. Having the "talk" definitely made him accept camming while we were together, but now that we are separate he blames it.

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Quote Originally Posted by Mare View Post
    I feel you. Mine jerks off to it. I feel like I can't relax when he's home. Makes it super awkward. Plus how do you jerk off to the fake orgasms and the mindless same dirty talk. It has made me lose some respect for him. Makes me feel like he's just like THEM.
    EWWWWW!!!! That would be a DEAL-BREAKER for me. I would tell him to GTFO of my life. If you don't enjoy him doing that, then WHERE is his fucking respect for you?
    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Quote Originally Posted by Hysterical View Post
    I want to be able to cam and have my phone lines on when he is home so I can make the money I used to make when I lived by myself.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hysterical View Post
    I think if he actually heard the things I say on cam he'd get uncomfortable, so I want to avoid that as well.
    You pretty much say it all in these two quotes. You know what you want (freedom to make money) and you recognize what is stopping you (your own assumptions of him).

    I am gonna play devils advocate here and tell you that the problem is actually You! Your holding yourself back because your mentally masturbating about his reaction to your job and what that might mean.

    Stop worrying and do your job like he's not home and IF something becomes an issue then deal with it. Your creating issues that dont exist. Do what you want and when issues pop up negotiate them.

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    I don't like camming or being on a call when the hubs is home either. Even if he's not directly next to the room I'm in, it just makes me uncomfortable when he's here. I tried it a couple times and just couldn't focus, and kept taking breaks to hang out with him lol. I normally work days since we have kids in school, if he's going to be home earlier than them he calls me and if I've still got a couple of hours to work he'll run errands or have lunch with a friend or whatever until I'm done. I'm moving next week and will have my very own cam room, so thinking I'll sound proof it to work nights when the family is all asleep for the night.

    I feel like guys don't see it as as much of a job as they should. He should respect your work space, time, and job and not hover or listen in, and if it makes you uncomfortable work out a schedule together. My husband wasn't pushy about it, he just didn't understand why I was uncomfortable, so I asked him if he wanted me to go to work with him and stare at him all day while he tried to do his job. He took the point, and honestly I don't think he'd want to hear the things I say to other men. He doesn't even want to know my cam name so he doesn't look for me online one day.
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Quote Originally Posted by ScarletKitten View Post
    EWWWWW!!!! That would be a DEAL-BREAKER for me. I would tell him to GTFO of my life. If you don't enjoy him doing that, then WHERE is his fucking respect for you?
    I just have to deal with it. He's very sexual. I used to be, now I'm not. I ended up getting him a fleshlight to try to take some of the pressure off. When I first started camming he thought he hit the lotto. Must have thought I got my sex drive back. Then he was jerking off listening to my dirty talk. Then I noticed him trying to masturbate in front of me b/c he got the idea that I like seeing it. UM NO. I love him, but it really is sad to realize how utterly fucking stupid guys are when it comes to sex.

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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Mine always wants to watch, I've told him it's fake and I'm not even climaxing but he still gets off on it. Some of my clients like seeing me do things to him too, which has just fuelled his interest.

    I now feel so paranoid when we have sex, I feel I have to make sure he can tell the difference between my fake moans and real moans lol





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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    I consider myself very lucky in this situation. My guy is very helpful in making things comfortable when I'm working. I mostly work during the day when everyone is gone, but sometimes I work a few hours in the evenings. When I have to work with him home I ask him to turn the TV up or turn on some music so that he can't hear me while I cam in the bedroom. He's glad to help out (and even makes dinner while I work). We also have a dehumidifier that I often run out in the hall while I work to help drown out any noise. So if you have a fan or something similar to create a white noise it will work fab for covering up anything you are saying in another room.

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  37. #21
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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Quote Originally Posted by Hysterical View Post
    I was looking into buying some soundproof panels but we are moving May 1st, so I figured I'd wait it out. Honestly, I think I'd be more comfortable camming and taking calls when he is home if he didn't want me to do it. He takes it as an insult that it makes me uncomfortable, basically tells me I need to grow up and be more open with him. That makes me feel like he wants to listen in. I think if he actually heard the things I say on cam he'd get uncomfortable, so I want to avoid that as well.
    This is hard to deal with, but you have to figure out a solution that works for both of you so you don't keep fighting about it.

    Men are strange creatures, he might be feeling like you're "hiding" something by the fact that you feel uncomfortable. He's wanting you to be more open with him about what goes on during your shows because he's feeling insecure. Not a lot of men are able to deal with their girlfriend/wife doing things sexually toward other men, even if it's all an act for money. So try not to get upset because he wants to know what's going on.

    What makes you think he wants to listen? Is he just hearing things because he happens to be in the same house, or is he like putting his ear to the door? lol I don't exactly like my husband listening in, and he doesn't purposely listen, he just lives in the same house so if he's awake it just comes with the territory sometimes.

    Is your cam space close to where he spends time when you're working? For now I would just try to be more quiet during shows. A rolled up towel at the bottom of the door helps quite a bit I've discovered. A lot of noise can escape just under a door! Maybe try temporary things like that until you can move and soundproof better.

    Even if you soundproof, you're going to have to find a way to meet in the middle about you being uncomfortable. Soundproofing isn't going to get rid of his insecurities and your uncomfortable feelings.
    xoxo ~ Sarah




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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Sorry I didn't read all of the thread just the OP. So if this has been suggested, ignore!


    My husband honestly got used to it. He thinks its hilarious when I do SPH or humiliation shows. But there are times he doesn't want to hear me camming. He got these:

    http://gaming.logitech.com/en-us/pro...gaming-headset
    It's wireless so he can put some music on and go do something else. They are sound canceling too.





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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    I understand what you're going through. My ex used to hate it and slut shamed me for it a lot. He would even sneak upstairs to my office door and listen outside and then throw things I said to customers in my face in an argument just to fight. The shitty thing was he wasn't really doing his part so I did what I had to do. I found that I cannot date/marry/court someone who's uncomfortable with my work.

    A few times we made up and I would ask him to take my car and go to his parent's house and it worked for a while but to this day, 1.5 years after the break up he still emails me and blames me camming on our shitty relationship.

    Is there a way you can work only during the times he's at work? If he's not employed tell him to shut his mouth and get a damn job!




    Believe In Your Brand



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    Default Re: Uncomfortable Camming with Hubby Home

    Quote Originally Posted by Mare View Post
    I feel you. Mine jerks off to it. I feel like I can't relax when he's home. Makes it super awkward. Plus how do you jerk off to the fake orgasms and the mindless same dirty talk. It has made me lose some respect for him. Makes me feel like he's just like THEM.
    Assuming he's your husband too, just remember why you married him and the deep love, bond, history, and goals you share together!

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