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Thread: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a female

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    Default First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a female

    I want to get a psychological evaluation and was just given a long list of dr names. I know women in the general population are way more judgey about my background as a dancer and tend to also be more judgey about various sexual exploits, than men. In general. So, I'm wondering, while I know psych doctors aren't supposed to be judgey and are supposed to provide a supportive atmosphere, would I- from your own thoughts and experiences- be better off steering clear of women psych doctors and instead seek out a male dr? Or, am I over thinking this and making bad assumptions?
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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I met with two psychiatrists in the past, one male and one female. I haven't found that much of a difference, since I was just being evaluated to see if I needed medication for my condition. They weren't my therapists so I only met with them once. The male was definitely more professional and neutral... I found the female psychiatrist a little intrusive when she asked about my social relations and I mentionned the guy I'm seeing she would ask oh he's a director? What kind of director exactly? Really you guys are in an open relationship? And you don't mind if he sees other girls? And when we talked about my sex life and I mentionned about not being able to have orgasms with a guy she was like so you fake?! I found her a little too interested in personal details of my life that was irrelevant to my psychological assessment. I can't really imagine a male psychiatrist asking me if I fake an orgasm during sex.

    As for therapists, I consulted with male and female psychologists and had better experience with male. They were more understanding and less judgemental about sex work.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    From my experience, no. I've gone to women psych professionals and they were not judgemental at all. In fact, they were almost motherly to me especially when I would tell them stories of some of the asshole men I have dealt with. They also seemed pretty fascinated by my career. Trust me, they see all different types of people, including some truly crazy and unstable ones...strippers dont phase them lol. I've seen male psych professionals in the past, and they were nice too, but I actually felt kind of uncomfortable around them...like I kept thinking, would he start hitting on me or is he thinking dirty thoughts? At least with a woman doctor, I dont have to worry about that. Plus, its just easier for women to relate to other women, there are some things that a man doctor just wont understand. But its totally your choice, and it depends on the individual doctors...hear what others have to say about them and what they are like.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    It would be interesting to see someone, particularly a woman with a background in sex work to be a primary care provider for sex workers.

    I found on another website of this doctor:
    ht.tp://www.doctormiro.com/about.php

    Who specializes in helping people who have worked in the sex industry.

    A lot of doctors have bad bedside manners. Try more than one. If possible, google the names of these doctors and look for reviews about them.

    I think it depends on the individual doctor. I had gone to one for help related to managing stress from my classes in college. I had been assigned to a male doc, but I didn't like him much and thought he sounded too judgey, so I switched to see another doc.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    men are just as judgmental, trust me..take away the "assuming we are easy and wanting to get laid" part, and they'd be just as nasty as most female civilians if not worse. so no, if anything i wouldn't be comfortable seeing a male shrink after being in this industry.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I know most of the psychiatrists I have encountered to be very conservative both male and female. I never brought up sex work because they aired their views early on about how sluttiness and drinking are shocking signs of mental illness.

    The asking overly detailed sexual questions is a HUGE red flag. RUN!!! I know a psychiatrist now convicted of sexual assault did that to his patients. I know the patients and I have seen a him a handful of times over a number of years. Its all true sadly. The super personal questions were the first step in grooming victims, even if he only assaulted a handful.

    I have also had a female do the same behaviour, claiming it was for research and refuse to drop the topic. Other patients reported the same thing.

    Im jaded at this point and super cautious. Im not going to admit to a psychiatrist or medic what I do for money. Audrey_K has always had great ideas on how to find a sex work friendly therapist!

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    Before I started seeing a therapist, I debated whether or not I should talk about my job. I figured they would be able to help me better if they knew about it, since it's a big part of my life and I wanted to be able to talk freely about work. If I can't, then what's the point of consulting a psych?

    Some are more open minded than others... It can take some shopping around before finding the right one for you.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    Try and find someone who considers it got practice to be processed themselves, meaning they realise that no person can be truly objective we all have our blindspots, and so they have gone to a therapist themselves and continue to do so as they practice on others.

    I personally see a holistic counselor, deliberately instead of a psychologist. A psychiatrist may decide if you need medication and what exactly, but that will be done in conjunction with a psychologist/therapist who sees you regularly and helps you monitor whether the medication is serving you well.

    Positive psychology is a field which is gaining interest. I would check that out along with holistic and transpersonal psychotherapy if I were you, before I worried about the gender of my therapist.
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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I have always found a female psychiatrist/therapist to be way more sympathetic. And I feel more comfortable bringing up my childhood abuse history, sex, trust and control when talking to a female. Yes, both males and females seem very interested in my sex work, but with a female I don't get a creepy vibe.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    Psychiatrists in general are often very brusque and jaded individuals. It is hard to find a good psychiatrist who will actually listen to you before prescribing something. Are you looking for a psychiatrist or a psychologist?

    Personally, I prefer to see a female therapist because I'm less likely to try to 'hustle' women. I'm more focused on myself and my own health when I'm talking to a female.

    This is controversial advice. But unless you're going in specifically for problems directly related to dancing (if you are, ignore this advice), you might want to not talk about sex work. Many healthcare workers are very distracted by this 'colorful' detail, and they have such a deep lack of understanding when it comes to the industry that sharing this with them could distract them from other, more relevant issues. However, if you're looking to build a long-term relationship with a therapist, then you would of course want to seek out someone more trustworthy.

    Something I've done in the past that seemed to help.... I would look for therapists who specialized in working with LGBT issues / minority issues. A therapist who works more often with LGBT (as a minority group) may be more open-minded when it comes to other 'controversial' topics, such as sex work. You can call offices and ask the receptionist / triage workers if there are any therapists there who specialize in this area.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    You don't have to bring up your sex work right off the bat if you don't want to ..

    And psychiatrists are not supposed to judge you at least not out loud to your face or on paper lol! They are supposed to be objective but of course some are not.

    If you get that vibe from your psychiatrist definitely seek a new one.

    Also a good thing is they are bound by confidentiality and can't go around sharing your personal info
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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I lean towards males. I can PM the rest of my opinion, I don't wanna go around offending a bunch of people.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I'd say look for someone who is a kink aware therapist. Male or female they will have a deeper understanding of non-traditional lifestyle choices to help you approach your issues in a nonjudgmental atmosphere. https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kin...-homepage.html

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I don't think it has to do with gender. I had a female therapist before and I didn't tell her I was a dancer but I brought up the fact my sister was and she started asking if my sister experienced 'abuse as a child'. I stopped seeing her after that visit. I think you shouldn't only see a male or only see a female. Maybe test a couple out (female and male) to see who you feel comfortable with and not judged by to determine the best therapist for you.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    Well, for what it's worth, I've been seeing a female psychologist but I'm switching to a male psychologist. When I told the female psychologist that I'm a stripper, she asked, "And that doesn't make you feel dirty or ashamed?" I never once mentioned feelings of dirtiness or shame when discussing my symptoms, so that was totally out of line. I should've seen that for the red flag it was, because our next visit, work was all she wanted to discuss.

    Ugh! Waste of time.

    Fortunately I found a different psychologist who seems willing and able to help me with my actual problems, rather than get sidetracked by sex work. I agree with others who advise testing out multiple people.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    Quote Originally Posted by kaninchen View Post
    "And that doesn't make you feel dirty or ashamed?"
    Totally uncalled for! ! ! Not only the wrong female psychiatrist, the wrong psychiatrist period.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    As a guy, I've always felt more comfortable with a female psychiatrist/therapist.

    My first psychiatrist was a male, and fairly terrible. His disposition was very judgmental and cold; I often referred to him as "Dr. Roboto." My current psychiatrist and therapist are females, and I'm much more comfortable talking with them. I don't have much choice, though. The next closest psychiatrist is close to an hour away. So even if I could afford an excellent doctor from movies and television, there just aren't enough to go around.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    My first psych was female, and she was the most amazing, understanding and loving person I have ever met. She was so open and willing to talk to me, very much so a peaceful and loving individual. I loved her so much, she ended up moving to work with prisoners in Alaska or something. But, it really, really depends on the person you get. I have also had terrible experiences with females. I have also had an amazing male psych, but stopped going to him because I felt he had helped me sufficiently that I was no longer in need of his services. I might go back to him, because it's been a couple years and I have new problems (lol). But, you should shop around. Go to a session or two here and there, find recommendations from friends and family.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I know we're all using slightly different terminology in this thread. In my personal experience (mostly with family members), it's very difficult to find a good psychiatrist. They're more like brain scientists: interested in quickly figuring out your brain chemistry and correcting it with medications. Lots of psychiatrists will steamroll you with their experiences in medicating people with similar 'disorders'.' If you've tried everything else (therapists, meditation, aromatherapy, self-work, nutrition, exercise), and you're still struggling with daily activities, that's when I'd go to a psychiatrist.

    There are plenty of good psychologists out there, however. If you're looking for a therapist / counselor / psychologist, it's all about finding someone you vibe with personally, whether male or female.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I feel more comfortable with female psychiatrists, because (like a couple of people have said) I'm not wondering like I would with a male doctor if they're getting turned on/being creepy when asking questions about sex work. That being said, if you have someone who is being close minded and judgemental about your job - you have the wrong doctor, regardless of gender!

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I don't have any experience with a female therapist, but I did have a male one once. I liked him a lot, but he moved so I wasn't able to go to him anymore.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    I think, as others have said, it depends more on the person than their gender. Also, I think it might greatly depend on the area you live in. If you live in SoCal, for instance, you'll probably have better luck finding someone who has experience with sex workers than you would in the middle of Mississippi or something.

    Though, sometimes I think therapists who do have experience with sex workers can almost be worse than those who don't. Everyone generalizes based on their experiences, even therapists/doctors - the same way we as sex workers can tend to generalize our experiences with men. And if all a therapist has seen is "messed up" sex workers, they will apply that to you as well. I have a male friend who is a therapist and has had sex worker clients. He's also very sexually open/experimentative, involved in the kink/poly community, all that stuff. And still, some of the generalized shit he proclaims about sex workers, their backgrounds, how they operate, and why they do what they do - as though it's gospel truth that can be applied to ANY of us... it makes me fucking sick to listen to. But, ya know, because he's a licensed therapist and has seen ALL sex workers share these traits in his practice, he insists that it's all 100% true and continues to talk down to me. He seriously once tried to convince me that ANY woman who is unable to have a g-spot orgasm is "too tense in her pelvic region" due to abuse. I told him I can't have those orgasms and I've never been abused. His immediate all-knowing response was "Most women suppress it." How fucked up is that viewpoint of women's sexuality and the things that are "wrong" with us? I would never use him as a therapist.

    I hate shopping around for healthcare providers, but it seems it really is necessary sometimes. Try out a few people before sticking with one person.
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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    A lot of patients never spend any time interviewing their providers before they start talking about themselves. If I had decent insurance with an affordable copay, I'd spend the first ten minutes of a session with a new therapist asking about their educational background, their professional interests, what they specialize in, what approaches they enjoy utilizing, etc. As long as you stick to questions about them as professionals, you have every right to ask them such things. While they're talking, you'll also get a sense for whether or not you vibe with them.

    I've been hearing amazing things about EMDR lately from a number of anecdotal sources. It's used to help people deal with and recover from trauma. Definitely something to look into and ask therapists about.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    ZI don't think you can stereotype men as being "not judgmental" or women, everyone is different. And just because a doctor doesn't approve of sex work doesn't make them judgmental. They may be picking up on something that you aren't and expressing an opinion that sex work is a bad fit for you because of xyz. I mean, you don't pay a therapist to tell you what you want to hear, you pay them to tell you what you need to hear.

    I would focus more on finding someone you click with, who has good credentials/references, a treatment style that you like, and is affordable. There are so many different kinds of therapy, do some research into the theory that they follow and see if you think it will be a good fit for your needs/comfortability/personality. My therapist is a guy right now and not judgmental, but I had a female therapist in the past who wasn't either. I like my therapist because he knows how to get to the point, is laid back, and very focused on the present and coming up with solutions rather than focusing on the past... not because he isn't judgmental of sex work.

    BTW... A psychiatrist prescribes medication and a psychologist/therapist engages in therapy as that's the focus of their training and they are licensed. I'm not sure what you mean by an "evaluation" but make sure you go to the right one. If you need medication don't waste money on a therapist/psychologist as they don't have a license to prescribe, but if you're looking for someone who will sit and talk to you, don't waste money on a psychiatrist as they don't have the same skill set as they have a MEDICAL degree (hence are an M.D.), not a degree in psychology or social work. I'm seeing the terms being used interchangeably in this thread and the two are not the same at all. If you're looking for someone to prescribe you medication, I don't think the "judgment" issue will be as big a deal as psychiatrist aren't going to be delving into intimate details of your life the way a therapist will. They're focused on medication.
    Last edited by audrey_k; 03-22-2015 at 07:01 PM.

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    Default Re: First time seeking Psychiatrist- Would a male dr be more understanding than a fem

    Close to that topic has somebody ever just tried out the psycho drugs aviable to bui to find out what works best for himself?
    I mean why going to a doctor and tell him how it have worked to let him decide beeing an thinking human myself?
    I think there are none making you going totaly crazy and can just use a day nothing major to do?

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