I don't post here often but I need to rant and get this out because I can't talk about this to anyone in real life.
My boyfriend and I live together and until recently he had a full-time job. His job brought in all the 'essentials' money, for rent, bills, food etc and my camming money was just for extras (meals out, movies, new clothes etc) and I just did like 4 hours a day or so and spent the rest of my time cooking, cleaning etc. It was a great situation for both of us. But then, just before Christmas 2014 he quit because his job was incredibly stressful. He was working 65+ hours every week, because of his shifts he didn't get home til like 2am and he only made enough money for the essentials, he had nothing left over to pay off his debt or spend money on anything for him. The job had completely changed him from the fun-loving, kind man I met in to an angry, sad, stressed person who had no joy in life so I supported his decision to quit and said i'd just cam a bit more than usual and we'd cut back on some non-essential spending until he found a new job. I thought it'd all be fine!
But then I had a complete breakdown. Apparently I was misdiagnosed with clinical depression when I was 15 and i've actually been bipolar all this time with severe anxiety, and obviously i've gone completely untreated so when I broke, I really broke. I was in hospital for 3 weeks (i'm in the UK so thankfully no medical bills, but I couldn't cam for a month). When I was OK again, I restarted work, but after my breakdown i've found that I really can't take the sex industry anymore. I was happy camming for a long time, but now I just can't take the freeloaders and the fact that 6-10 hours a day I have to pretend to be this complete nympho (the meds i'm on massively suppress my libido). So I don't cam anywhere near as much as I need to because it makes me want to kill myself (literally).
And now we're at a breaking point, financially. My boyfriend is spending practically all his time online applying for jobs, and he actually has a few things in the pipeline, but even if he got a job tomorrow, he wouldn't get his first paycheck for over a month. All our bills come out on Friday (it's monday today) and his bank account is at minus £2900 (his overdraft limit is £3000) and I have about £40 in mine. The bills will cost about £1150 which we obviously just do not have. We've been living on ramen noodles, tap water and one proper meal per week at my mum's house for a month now, and we've temporarily given our cat to my boyfriend's mum so we don't have to feed her (pretended that my "allergies" are bad because we don't want to tell our families that things are this bad, not that they could help anyway, they're broke too). We sold pretty much everything we could to pay our bills last month: both our computers (we are now sharing an awful old laptop which obviously makes camming much harder), all our games consoles and the TV, my keyboard, violin and guitar (which broke my heart), our Blu-ray collection, most of our clothes and shoes, iPads, phones (we're sharing a cheap old Nokia now). The only things we kept were the internet connection and this old laptop because I need them for camming, an old Kindle with loads of books on it so that when one of us is using the laptop, the other can entertain themselves by reading, and a diamond and platinum ring my father gave me when I turned 18 that I really really don't want to sell but I might have to if I can't raise enough money for the bills by Friday.
I guess i'm not really asking for advice because I know what I have to do, i'm just going to have to suck it up and cam like 12 hours a day until Friday to raise the £1150 that we need to pay the bills. I've signed up to Dailypay on every site they offer and i'll be switching between the sites every few hours so I don't get bored as easily as usual. It's gonna suck but I have no choice.
I just needed to get that off my chest, thanks for listening.



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