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Thread: Okay laides, I need some more advice.

  1. #26
    Veteran Member KimKlass's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay laides, I need some more advice.

    Please don't get defensive when I say this, because I'm totally not saying you have a drinking problem; however, the fact that you are concerned enough about it to ask is suggestive. So please, if you think it's an issue or potential issue, don't ignore it. Drinking every day, even if you don't get very drunk, can get out of hand pretty quickly. Not to mention it's not great for you (hypocrite smoker here lol). I quit drinking entirely over a year ago because I was prescribed Xanax. But my anxiety has improved a lot since then and I just haven't bothered to drink again. I don't really care for it now and don't miss it. Know what's awesome about not drinking? Your stomach gets flatter haha. No hangovers, no dehydration, not to mention the money you save. Cigarettes are up next on the chopping block for me!

    One big issue here is that you shouldn't have to feel like you need to drink to get through your shift. I totally understand that it can be easy to start relying on it to bring out your personality, but here's the thing- your personality is there without the alcohol, too. It might take some camming without alcohol to see it. Just this weekend, I ran out of my ADD meds, which I've ALWAYS taken for work for the last 3 years. Literally every shift, minus like 2 or 3 of them. So I was freaking out a little, thinking my personality and demeanor would be "off", and that I wouldn't be able to handle any tedium. BUT, because I had no choice, I cammed all weekend without my meds. It turned out seriously amazing! That was valuable to me because I proved to myself that I can do just as well on cam without it.

    If boredom is the main issue, I completely empathize because I have ADD and boredom is basically water torture for me lol. Some of the things I do when I'm bored on MFC: Put on ridiculous songs to make myself laugh; play with my Slinky; read a book on my iPhone Kindle app and ignore the room until they decide to participate; read the news online; go to the Chatzy for SW; flat iron my hair again lol; get up and walk around my office, etc.
    What's most helpful to me is having something to do with my hands. I'm thinking about getting some clay and making tiny, random sculptures when it's slow, for example. Get a coloring book, or a puzzle book like you said. Hell, take up knitting or something similar. What would you be doing if you were chilling in your room by yourself? Do that (unless it's something you should be charging $ for hehe).

    Maybe you could start with camming without alcohol on your days that aren't generally your best earning days? Start with like one day a week, no alcohol on cam. Prove to yourself that you are fucking awesome without drinking. But first, get something to occupy your hands and your attention. Don't worry about looking silly; if you're entertained, do not give a single fuck. Good luck!

    tl;dr Holy shit sorry for the novel! You're awesome without alcohol; prove it to yourself; find something to do with your hands.
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  2. #27
    Featured Member Magical_Hoohah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay laides, I need some more advice.

    Quote Originally Posted by KimKlass View Post
    Just this weekend, I ran out of my ADD meds, which I've ALWAYS taken for work for the last 3 years. Literally every shift, minus like 2 or 3 of them. So I was freaking out a little, thinking my personality and demeanor would be "off", and that I wouldn't be able to handle any tedium. BUT, because I had no choice, I cammed all weekend without my meds. It turned out seriously amazing! That was valuable to me because I proved to myself that I can do just as well on cam without it.
    I've said it before on SW, but that's another valuable thing I've learned - not camming while on my (prescribed) ADD meds. When I started camming, I had been taking meds constantly for a few years. It was such a revelation to realize that I'm a better cam girl without the meds. ADD is my friend on cam, because it keeps me bouncy and lets my mind be more creative, and I can jump from one fetish to the next without too much struggle. Meds are mandatory for getting shit done in the rest of my life, but on cam, I think they hold me back. If you have ADD, I really recommend trying non-medicated camming at least a few times.

    Quote Originally Posted by KimKlass View Post
    Maybe you could start with camming without alcohol on your days that aren't generally your best earning days? Start with like one day a week, no alcohol on cam. Prove to yourself that you are fucking awesome without drinking. But first, get something to occupy your hands and your attention.
    These are two brilliant ideas. The soothing gesture of bringing a glass or cigarette to your mouth is one psychological reason that alcohol and cigarettes can be addictive. I think SarahTime once gave some great advice about getting a big cup with a straw and keeping water in it (it looks cute, is safer than an open cup, and is less effort than twisting off a bottle top). A lot of the time when my hands get bored, I reach for my water cup. You should find other stuff, too, but drinking water is good for idle hands and pretty much every other part of your body.
    Quote Originally Posted by temptingmodel
    "dont worry, its slow for other models today"
    I'm not other models, its not slow.

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  4. #28
    Veteran Member smaddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay laides, I need some more advice.

    I think that a lot of times addictions start from a habit. You can still be addicted to alcohol even though you don't drink to excess. I use to smoke to excess when I was younger, a daily cigarette in the morning was my routine and from that it became an all day every day sort of thing. I quit 2 years cold turkey, but I genuinely enjoyed smoking. Now I have 1 or 2 a day, some days I won't smoke at all, and every few months I'll completely stop for a few weeks. I wanted to be in control of it, and so I did.

    Willpower can be your best friend or your worse enemy. Learning how to control yourself is hard. You can try doing challenges like "Today I am not going to drink" but you have to make sure that the next day you don't drink more to make up for it.

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  6. #29
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    Default Re: Okay laides, I need some more advice.

    Quote Originally Posted by KimKlass View Post
    Please don't get defensive when I say this, because I'm totally not saying you have a drinking problem; however, the fact that you are concerned enough about it to ask is suggestive. So please, if you think it's an issue or potential issue, don't ignore it. Drinking every day, even if you don't get very drunk, can get out of hand pretty quickly. Not to mention it's not great for you (hypocrite smoker here lol). I quit drinking entirely over a year ago because I was prescribed Xanax. But my anxiety has improved a lot since then and I just haven't bothered to drink again. I don't really care for it now and don't miss it. Know what's awesome about not drinking? Your stomach gets flatter haha. No hangovers, no dehydration, not to mention the money you save. Cigarettes are up next on the chopping block for me!

    One big issue here is that you shouldn't have to feel like you need to drink to get through your shift. I totally understand that it can be easy to start relying on it to bring out your personality, but here's the thing- your personality is there without the alcohol, too. It might take some camming without alcohol to see it. Just this weekend, I ran out of my ADD meds, which I've ALWAYS taken for work for the last 3 years. Literally every shift, minus like 2 or 3 of them. So I was freaking out a little, thinking my personality and demeanor would be "off", and that I wouldn't be able to handle any tedium. BUT, because I had no choice, I cammed all weekend without my meds. It turned out seriously amazing! That was valuable to me because I proved to myself that I can do just as well on cam without it.

    If boredom is the main issue, I completely empathize because I have ADD and boredom is basically water torture for me lol. Some of the things I do when I'm bored on MFC: Put on ridiculous songs to make myself laugh; play with my Slinky; read a book on my iPhone Kindle app and ignore the room until they decide to participate; read the news online; go to the Chatzy for SW; flat iron my hair again lol; get up and walk around my office, etc.
    What's most helpful to me is having something to do with my hands. I'm thinking about getting some clay and making tiny, random sculptures when it's slow, for example. Get a coloring book, or a puzzle book like you said. Hell, take up knitting or something similar. What would you be doing if you were chilling in your room by yourself? Do that (unless it's something you should be charging $ for hehe).

    Maybe you could start with camming without alcohol on your days that aren't generally your best earning days? Start with like one day a week, no alcohol on cam. Prove to yourself that you are fucking awesome without drinking. But first, get something to occupy your hands and your attention. Don't worry about looking silly; if you're entertained, do not give a single fuck. Good luck!
    This is an incredibly thought provoking and honest response to my post. Thank you.

    I also have ADD, which contributes to my getting bored very easily. I am taking meds as well, but am working on taking them less and less.

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  8. #30
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    Default Re: Okay laides, I need some more advice.

    Quote Originally Posted by smaddy View Post
    I think that a lot of times addictions start from a habit. You can still be addicted to alcohol even though you don't drink to excess. I use to smoke to excess when I was younger, a daily cigarette in the morning was my routine and from that it became an all day every day sort of thing. I quit 2 years cold turkey, but I genuinely enjoyed smoking. Now I have 1 or 2 a day, some days I won't smoke at all, and every few months I'll completely stop for a few weeks. I wanted to be in control of it, and so I did.

    Willpower can be your best friend or your worse enemy. Learning how to control yourself is hard. You can try doing challenges like "Today I am not going to drink" but you have to make sure that the next day you don't drink more to make up for it.
    Good for you for quitting smoking. It will be two years since my last cigarette this April. I still crave them once in a while, however I know I will never smoke a cigarette again. Once in a blue moon a friend has a joint with tobacco in it, which I enjoy, but I consider that a treat.

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