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  1. #26
    Veteran Member KimKlass's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by pebbles45112000 View Post
    He is already trying to lay a guilt trip on me because he knows that I don't want him moving in with me. He's saying that I am leaving him when he needs me the most and how he doesn't want to be 46 and living with his parents and all that!
    See? I'm almost psychic lol. These people have easily discernible patterns, if you've learned them. And by "these people" I mean "abusers". He's trying his hardest to sink his nasty little abuser claws into you. Don't let him. And he is 46??? FUCK NO. NONONONONO! So he can go live with his parents, then? GOOD, let him. It's not your fault he's fucking 46!!! and a loser. You will not be able to fix him. He is not fixable. What's more, he is not interested in being fixed. He is interested in using you and that's about all there is.
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  3. #27
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by pebbles45112000 View Post
    The main thing we fight about is we don't get to see each other because of me working so much and that its always around 8 or 9 when I get to his house because I have to wait for my daughter to get home from work with my car. (hers tore up and its not worth fixing so she is trying to save for another car). My daughter does work and go to college and helps me with gas, pays her cell phone bill, and her part of car insurance tho. We also fight if he doesn't get sex every night. He use to wake me up in the middle of the night raising hell about it. He has gotten better about that though. Idk its like if he doesn't get his way about something, he raises hell about it.

    I guess the main thing that I was thinking is at least I would have someone here so I wouldn't be alone but my main goal is to get out of debt right now no matter what it takes or I have to do. I have over $6000 in credit card debt. I am barely getting by month to month now.
    My eyes bulged out of my head when I read that. WTF he's not entitled to your pussy.

    If he moves in it will take you even longer to pay off your debt. That's double the food/toiletries, electricity, water, gas, car gas/car maintenance. The worse part is he's not going to be paying for any of that, you will be paying for it all. You shouldn't have to take care of another person that's not biology connected to you (and even that depends on the situation) especially a grown man.

    He's 46?????...oh no no no. He had the nerve to say "he doesn't want to be 46 and living with his parents" well ummm that's his only choice. This dude sounds so entitled. Please do not let him guilt you into letting him move in or staying with him. There's nothing good or helpful about this guy. I understand that you don't want to be alone but staying with him isn't the answer. Nothing good is going to come from this situation.
    Last edited by Blovely; 03-06-2015 at 07:57 PM.

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  5. #28
    God/dess CatBBW's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by KimKlass View Post
    Sure, maybe he'll do the dishes or some shit,
    He may not even get that far, he'll probably complain at the first chore request.


    Quote Originally Posted by KimKlass View Post
    but I bet he will quickly grow to resent this and will present it as some grand favor he's done for you.
    Oh yes. Been there. Done that.

    Quote Originally Posted by KimKlass View Post
    To be blunt; you have a house, and a vagina. If you refuse to supply one or both of those things, see how long he sticks around. If you're sick of being taken advantage of, then do NOT move this man into your house. Period. Also, break up with him immediately.
    THIS!!! ^^^

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  7. #29
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by pebbles45112000 View Post
    The main thing we fight about is we don't get to see each other because of me working so much and that its always around 8 or 9 when I get to his house because I have to wait for my daughter to get home from work with my car. (hers tore up and its not worth fixing so she is trying to save for another car). My daughter does work and go to college and helps me with gas, pays her cell phone bill, and her part of car insurance tho. We also fight if he doesn't get sex every night. He use to wake me up in the middle of the night raising hell about it. He has gotten better about that though. Idk its like if he doesn't get his way about something, he raises hell about it.

    I guess the main thing that I was thinking is at least I would have someone here so I wouldn't be alone but my main goal is to get out of debt right now no matter what it takes or I have to do. I have over $6000 in credit card debt. I am barely getting by month to month now.
    Dump him. He won't solve your problems, he will add to them.

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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by Magical_Hoohah View Post
    What's going to happen when you get customers that want you to do fetishes and things that aren't conventionally sexy?
    Oh YES INDEED! I get lots of men who call me all kinds of "fat" names and talk about my fatness and how disgusting it is or how they would love to fuck my fat...my husband isn't into any of this and would be horrified if he was sat in my cam room while I worked!

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  11. #31
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by KimKlass View Post
    I had a feeling this would get worse the more you typed! Something you should pay particular attention to is the thing where he'd wake you up in the middle of the night and raise hell. This is such a common abuse tactic it's not even remotely funny. It's emotional terrorism. He didn't care if you had to work the next day, or if you were tired. He CHOSE, not to have an adult discussion at a normal hour, but instead to wait until you were peacefully asleep to attack you. This is NOT a characteristic of someone you want to move into your house and your bed. He may have stopped doing it for now so you don't dump him. But don't worry; he'll resume that shit as soon as he moves in.

    Another issue; he gets mad when you can't see him because you're working. What is camming? WORK. Sex work. How do you think THAT will play out with him? I hope I don't need to illustrate this.
    "You spend too much time camming. You don't have a problem fucking yourself for all those guys all night, so why can't you fuck me now?"
    "I'm tired of you spending all that time with other guys, that's why you don't fuck me enough. You're a whore. Can I have $20? Why not? I let you have internet sex with all these guys, so I should get something to make up for it."

    Yet another issue; you don't fucking owe him sex every single night. You don't OWE him SEX AT ALL. You OWE NO ONE SEX, EVER. Expecting you to fuck him every single day is irrational, selfish, and controlling. Particularly when his response to this is a literal toddler-style tantrum.

    And oh, honey, moving him in will not mean you're not alone. You will still be alone in many ways, except that you will have an irate man-child in your face 24/7. Aside from that, being alone is MUCH better than being with someone like this.
    I love you. Your post is TRUTH.

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  13. #32
    Veteran Member twistedprincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    How to handle that so-called boyfriend:


    Seriously, no amount of loneliness is worth emotional abuse, and that's what it is.

    Abuse.

    Plain and simple.

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  15. #33
    Veteran Member KimKlass's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    OP, if you're a reader and want to learn more about the patterns of abusers, this is the go-to book: http://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-Th...oes+he+do+that
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  17. #34
    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Omg Kim, I was screaming YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS at every post. Hit the nail on the fucking head girl. You're awesome.





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Girllllll you only been dating 3 months are your fighting constantly? That's not a healthy relationship.

    I'm sorry, but I'm just recently divorced and am kind of on a power trip of "If he's not Mr. Perfect kick him to the curb because he's not worth it"

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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by pebbles45112000 View Post
    I guess the main thing that I was thinking is at least I would have someone here so I wouldn't be alone but my main goal is to get out of debt right now no matter what it takes or I have to do. I have over $6000 in credit card debt. I am barely getting by month to month now.
    He sees you as someone he can easily abuse...you can show him that you are not that person.

    If this is how he behaves before you live together, you can only imagine how it will be if he moves in and feels more secure in this abusive relationship. You have kids? They will get dragged into this too.

    You can stop this now, the strength you gain in doing that will clear the way for a better, more balanced relationship.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


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  23. #37
    Senior Member SummerBlaze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    It seems like its a bad situation already, 3 months and fighting all the time! that is suppose to be the love bird stage where everyone gets a long wonderful.

    Aside from that to answer your question it all has to do with how comfortable you are but im going to say you would already have some adjustment time camming and have extra eyes on you while you work would be terrible for morale. Also the guys aren't dumb a shuffling, or a shadow and they will call you out on not being a lone in the room. Also how would you feel if he decided to critique you, like oh the was a weird thing you said or did, how would that make you feel?

    My husband walks around the house freely he sits 5 feet away from me and eats lunch or will be on the ipad with headphones, he is not doing it to be a creeper, he is not jacking off or being up in my business its just how we have worked out sharing a small space during the hours I cam because banishing him to the bedroom kinda sucks. He is always aware of the lights and his shadow, and being completely silent. Sometimes he will whip his dick out and do the airplane or make funny movements but that's just to amuse me and he thinks he is some sort of comedian.

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  25. #38
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    You need help. Find abuse help online or phone lines.

    If you don't have healthy boundaries with a man who respects you then camming is NOT the job for you either. He only wants to watch to make you feel more guilty & use it to his advantage. Full grown men do NOT throw fits.

    Any man who woke me up from my sleep for sex or to fight would be a dead one. Sleep is important restorative necessary for a healthy body & mind. By robbing you of sleep, he is killing you physically & emotionally. You have 2 daughters, what kind of example are you setting for them by being in a relationship with this loser. He is a loser that should be living at home with his parents, obviously they did a bad job of raising him.

    So you want your daughters to think a man in his 40s who doesn't have a job, who fights & verbally, sexually abuses a woman is okay? Why do you think it is okay to be treated less than human & with no respect?

    "Selfish people live longer"- Nicki Minaj in "The Other Woman" Should be your mantra daily. So you want to move in, well, let's be honest he already is living with you. You want to be miserable? You want to live with a man who verbally, sexually, abuses you & expects you to take care of him financially in exchange for a bit of house cleaning. Honey, if you want to be a Sugar Momma, find a hot stud for that.

    Sam


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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    How can you be alone when you have two daughters living with you?

    How can you be alone if you work a fulltime job and cam?

    You mean a few pats on the head & how much he loves you between screaming fits while you pay for everything means NOT alone. Why does he want to spend all his time with you? to control you, to keep an eye on you, to abuse you.

    Future only holds more physical illness for him. Do you want to pay for all those medical bills & be his fulltime nurse? Do you want to be at his screaming punching bag 24/7?

    1 car 4 people... you need some bus passes or an uber account. How can you work a job, cam & get him to doctor appointments & therapy sessions? Who pays for those doctors & therapy sessions if he can't work?

    If you are sick do you still have to fuck him? Does he not have compassion? A heart? NOPE! You want to live in HELL to keep from being alone.

    You need to ask yourself -why do I need to be in an abusive relationship in order to feel loved?

    I love being alone. I relish it. Especially after dealing with horny demanding men on cam & social media all day long. Sitting around with a hair mask, face mask, painting my toes while watching Bravo is my Heaven.

    Sam


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    Veteran Member Rosemary Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    -----
    Last edited by Rosemary Rabbit; 07-11-2017 at 04:34 AM.

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  29. #41
    Veteran Member KimKlass's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    How can you be alone when you have two daughters living with you?

    How can you be alone if you work a fulltime job and cam?

    You mean a few pats on the head & how much he loves you between screaming fits while you pay for everything means NOT alone. Why does he want to spend all his time with you? to control you, to keep an eye on you, to abuse you.

    Future only holds more physical illness for him. Do you want to pay for all those medical bills & be his fulltime nurse? Do you want to be at his screaming punching bag 24/7?

    1 car 4 people... you need some bus passes or an uber account. How can you work a job, cam & get him to doctor appointments & therapy sessions? Who pays for those doctors & therapy sessions if he can't work?

    If you are sick do you still have to fuck him? Does he not have compassion? A heart? NOPE! You want to live in HELL to keep from being alone.

    You need to ask yourself -why do I need to be in an abusive relationship in order to feel loved?

    I love being alone. I relish it. Especially after dealing with horny demanding men on cam & social media all day long. Sitting around with a hair mask, face mask, painting my toes while watching Bravo is my Heaven.

    Sam
    Agree completely with Sam! Alternatively, I'll point out that having those things Sam mentioned can also happen WITH a man. I am married to an awesome guy and if I wanted to be left alone all day to do girly shit or whatever, he would respect that and leave me in peace! You, OP, need to ask yourself what YOU want in a partner. Because I'm pretty sure you aren't sitting there wishing for an immature, lazy, emotionally and sexually abusive, manipulative, angry, spiteful loser of a manchild. You can certainly do better than the bottom of the barrel!

    Quit wasting your time on unworthy fuckfaces. If you come across a guy and he isn't what you want? Dump. If you find one that seems *almost* what you want, but has one glaring exception? Dump. If he shows any hint of abusive behavior? DUMP. All of us want to lift you up; this guy seeks only to tear you down. And he will, if you go forward with him. I'm sure a bunch of us have been through the mill with guys just like this at one time or another and I'm betting he isn't your first. Use him as a learning tool, because, yes, this stuff needs to be learned. We weren't born with the knowledge of how to have healthy relationships. Did you know that these types are very skilled in picking out people who they can easily do this stuff to? They have what is akin to a radar that can detect women who they can take advantage of. He is a predator like so many others. You have to understand that you are basically walking around with a target on your back; an "I'll put up with your shit" bat signal. Here's the good news- you CAN change this. Unlike this guy, you have the ability of introspection and I'll bet you can change yourself for the better and raise your standards. Do that for you, and for your daughters. They may be adults but you are still modeling relationships for them.
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  31. #42
    God/dess anonymous camgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO>>> This screams NO!... Everything about your post is suffering, sadness , anguish and you are asking if we think you should go ahead and let him create more suffering in your life.. NO we love you to much to do that to you... What you REALLY need to do is TAKE A BREAK from this guy.. temporarily or permanently. You have no VALUE in yourself. We pick our mates based on how we FEEL about ourselves and this sounds like you are not thinking you are worth that much.. NOPE get rid of the leech for awhile at least.. And WHY do you feel guilty he had a stroke? You didn't do that to him!.. He is NOT your responsibility. And to watch you?? I find that to be very exploitative but that's just my opinion.. you are letting this guy take whatever he wants from you and you are seriously unhappy about him.


    Quote Originally Posted by pebbles45112000 View Post
    Me and my boy friend had been talking about camming as a couple for a month or longer. Well he had a stroke last Sunday and was in the hospital for a couple of days. He s out now but he is not able to work because the stroke messed up his eye site. He can still see but he just sees double and has to wear a patch until his eyes straighten back out. Now he has to find another place to live because he was working on a farm and they furnished his house and utilities as part of the job. After asking in another thread about camming as a couple I've decided not to do it. I've got a lot of credit card debt and bills that I am trying to pay off and I need all the income I can get. I told him today that I want to cam by myself without him and he asked if he could watch. I am not really sure what I think about that or if I would be comfortable with him watching?

    I am just not sure if I am even ready for him to move in with me either cause we have only dated for 3 months and we fight all the time. A lot of our fighting has been from not spending enough time together even tho we see each other every day but just late at night because of me working so much and me having to share a car with my daughter( another thing I am trying to save up money for is her a car). We fight about other things tho too. Anytime we try to spend the whole day together, which is not many, we fight the whole time almost. The thought of him moving in freaks me out because I can barely pay the bills with me and my 2 kids (22 & 20). It would be nice and him here to keep me company and help with dishes, cooking cleaning, etc tho. Then on the other hand I really can't afford another person to support. Plus he doesn't own a vehicle so that means I would have to take him back and forth to therapy possibly and if his eye site ever did get straightened out he wouldnt have a car to go back and forth to work. I've been used by a lot of guys that move in and mooch off me and I am sick of. He is talking like he may try for disability. I feel guilty that he had a stroke but I really don't know what to do;-(

    Any of y'all ever let your bf's or husbands sit in the corner and watch? Or would you rather do it with no one watching? What would y'all do in this situation?

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  33. #43
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.
    Mae West

    A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
    Mae West

    I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
    Mae West

    “Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.”
    ― Mae West, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said

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  35. #44
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    When you cam, you are going to have many men richer, healthy, younger hitting on you everyday. He will only grow more & more jealous & violent.


    Since there are so many younger, richer, nicer & healthy men available in this world, why stay with him? Just doesn't make sense to me. Honey, you have the pussy, men love pussy. Never let a dick dictate your life. Make men jump through your hoops & not you through theirs.

    If he truly loved you, wanted you. He would become a healthy money making man all on his own so could EARN you, not GUILT you into a relationship. A good man finds a way to provide for his lady, a bad guy figures out how to live off of a woman.

    There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Ones who bring you up or ones who bring you down. Ones who bring me down I cut from my life immediately. Case in point my old webmaster, cut him completely out of my life once I realized the truth about him. I make NO exceptions. People do go through bad times, we all, do, but helping them doesn't and should never cost you money, lack of sleep or pain.

    Let us be honest, you dont have it to give. Until your life is right, you should not be in a relationship either. You are coming from a place of weakness NOT strength.... not good at all.

    He will make you lose the current job, he will ruin your girls lives & make them leave. He will cause you to be homeless & then he will either move in with Mom or another female. Keep telling yourself how being alone is much worst. Being alone is FREEDOM!

    A good man, his love is also freedom when it is the right one. Full grown men throwing fits cause they don't get their way is SHAMEFUL!!! His parents should have ended those at two.

    Sam

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  37. #45
    Veteran Member KimKlass's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Essentially, pebbles honey, you have a guy asking (demanding) that you move him into your home with your daughters and let him abuse you for like the next couple of years or so. If your answer is not an immediate "LOL Fuck That Shit Bye" ... you need to find out why. Start with that book I posted earlier. It will probably be very illuminating. If you can't buy it right now but you have a Kindle or a phone that can get the Kindle app-I WILL BUY IT and loan it to you. Just say the word.
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  39. #46
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    How much do you want to bet that within a few months of moving in he will get creepy & start hitting on your daughters when you are not home?

    Then flip it around, call you a Whore & cause you don't fuck him enough. He does NOT respect you, thinks females are put on earth to service his sexual needs. Your daughters will NOT be off limits in his mind.

    You are willing to throw them under the bus because you dont want to be lonely. I feel bad for you daughters.

    Do you already defend him to them? Tell them to be nice? Never understood people who sacrifice their kids even if they are adults to abusive people, much less move them in.

    Oh, that's right you are lonely & he doesn't want to look like a loser living off his Mom so he rather live off of theirs.

    All that screaming & fighting in the middle of the night also wakes them up. But it is okay, he loves you & wants to be with you all the time.

    His own personal little harem of 3 females to cater to his every temper tantrum. All okay, cause he will do the dishes & throw a load in the dryer. Even if you are broke hiring a made would be cheaper.

    There are many men out there who have jobs & wash dishes, know how to get whites brighter & even iron them.

    Why is your being lonely more important than a peaceful, safe home for your daughters? OR finding a guy without those problems? To keep from being lonely you rather be his personal sex slave, potentially turn your daughters into his sex slaves?
    Last edited by Sam38g; 03-07-2015 at 11:10 AM.

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  41. #47
    Senior Member CamgirlScotland's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    I have to say I agree with everything Sam says. He is a complete creep and I agree that your daughters will not be off limits to him. I said earlier, being alone will mean you are happier. Don't stay with him out of pity, or just because you don't want to be alone. Being alone isn't a bad thing! I'm single and extremely happy because of it.

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  43. #48
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    How much do you want to bet that within a few months of moving in he will get creepy & start hitting on your daughters when you are not home?

    Then flip it around, call you a Whore & cause you don't fuck him enough. He does NOT respect you, thinks females are put on earth to service his sexual needs. Your daughters will NOT be off limits in his mind.

    You are willing to throw them under the bus because you dont want to be lonely. I feel bad for you daughters.

    Do you already defend him to them? Tell them to be nice? Never understood people who sacrifice their kids even if they are adults to abusive people, much less move them in.

    Oh, that's right you are lonely & he doesn't want to look like a loser living off his Mom so he rather live off of theirs.

    All that screaming & fighting in the middle of the night also wakes them up. But it is okay, he loves you & wants to be with you all the time.

    His own personal little harem of 3 females to cater to his every temper tantrum. All okay, cause he will do the dishes & throw a load in the dryer. Even if you are broke hiring a made would be cheaper.

    There are many men out there who have jobs & wash dishes, know how to get whites brighter & even iron them.

    Why is your being lonely more important than a peaceful, safe home for your daughters? OR finding a guy without those problems? To keep from being lonely you rather be his personal sex slave, potentially turn your daughters into his sex slaves?
    This, except it's sort of worst case scenario stuff. All of it is most certainly possible in your future, though. Also, Sam, I'm not sure it's helpful to criticize her quite so harshly right now. She's already down; don't kick her, you know?

    OP, all of us just want to help you. I hope you come back soon to let us know what you're thinking!
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  45. #49
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    The guy is an useless piece of crap - pretty obvious from the fact he's 46 and still lives with mom. His motivation to move in with you is ALL about HIS needs. He isn't even trying to hide it. He wants you to take care of him, give him all money and sex he wants, and all he's giving in return is a presence of a man in your life? If you are afraid of what people may say - being a sugar mama for a 46-year-old man is no better than being single. Also, wtf with him watching you perform, why would he even need it? I'd suppose it's either for his sexual gratification or to or record you. Both variants are creepy as hell.
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    Default Re: Need advice about my boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by CatBBW View Post
    All your post is a definite NO. NO NO NO.

    I don't let my husband watch as this is my job. I wouldn't want him coming in and watching if I was selling satelitte TV by cold calling in a call centre. It's exactly the same thing.

    You've been together 3 months and fight all the time, when this is the period you should be having sex all the time.

    You shouldn't live together as its been just 3 months...and you fight all the time.

    You do not need a man to live with you to help with housework. Tell your children to help out - I guess they live there with you? As you're sharing a car? They should be doing their share of chores, they aren't babies now.

    He will mooch off you AND get jealous as you "fuck" for other men instead of spending time with him AND won't do his fair share of the chores as he's disabled AND you will fight all the time AND he will resent you spending time with your children AND you will deeply regret it.

    I would never let this man live with me.

    THIS!!!!!!!

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