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Thread: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

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    Default FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    I tried searching for this topic, but I can't ever find anything I am looking for when I do, so I am sorry if this has already been posted.

    I have started doing femdom and humiliation videos and they have been selling very well. Apparently I am really convincing and have been making quite a bit of money on it. I had wanted to get into findom in more of a...I deserve it sort of way. Now, I am willing to tell people that they are pathetic piggies and degrade them and make them eat their own cum, but when it comes to telling them to give me money it's a bit harder.

    I have a client that wants me to log into his bank account, email, twitter, facebook, and cellphone. Now, I am not willing to do this for many, many reasons, one of those being credit card fraud as he wants to send me a debit card to use.

    I told him I wasn't willing to do that but gave him some other options. He wants to give me roughly $100 weekly to basically be an abusive girlfriend. While personally I don't think that's enough I think for the things he asked for, I have compromised with it makes for an OK bit of pretty much passive income. He's still going on and on about wanting me to log in and I have straight up said nope. In the last 2 days we have been talking he's only dropped around $100 so I am not to concerned about losing him one way or another. For the future I am curious how to handle different customers.

    FOR FINDOM chicks, my question is:

    How active are you with your customer's money?
    Do you log into their personal accounts?
    How much information do you give them about yourself?
    Do you draw the line when asking for a certain amount of money? Or do you make them find a way to keep giving?
    Do you allow them to send money via PayPal or other non-adult friendly venues? Has this ever ended badly for you?
    What do you give them in exchange for giving you money? If they ask for things in return do you give in to them at all?


    Any other advice is welcome!

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    Featured Member EllieGold's Avatar
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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    I have had some fair share of these guys this year. 95% of them were complete fakes. Its very risky to handle that stuff without trusting them prior. I got paid 100 dollars the other day from this guy who said he had this addiction. He gave me his credit card and told me to go get some nice things. I did a credit card validator and lo behold the info he gave me was incorrect. (Yes, those tools exist that can tell if the credit card info is incorrect). I had some other dude spend 200 on me too and vanished as well. These guys are complete fakes and morons. (IMO). I am scared to get into Findom because its too risky and I just don't want to be accused of credit card fraud.

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by justsometwat View Post

    FOR FINDOM chicks, my question is:

    How active are you with your customer's money?
    Do you log into their personal accounts?
    How much information do you give them about yourself?
    Do you draw the line when asking for a certain amount of money? Or do you make them find a way to keep giving?
    Do you allow them to send money via PayPal or other non-adult friendly venues? Has this ever ended badly for you?
    What do you give them in exchange for giving you money? If they ask for things in return do you give in to them at all?


    Any other advice is welcome!
    1. I'm not sure what you mean by this question, but the only access I have to their money is what they send me through various methods.
    2. No. Never. I also don't do teamviewer or anything like that.
    3. About my character? Not much. Where she lives, who she lives with, who she dates, if she works or goes to school. How she's used other men
    4. I don't have a limit, but I basically allow them to decide when to quit. (although I always suggest more!)
    5. No.
    6. No I don't do swaps for money. That would just be selling them something. If they call me on my findom line, they get the pleasure of speaking to me. If they send me money, they get the pleasure of being used by me. If they buy my games, pictures, mp3s, they get whatever they've paid for.

    Good luck!

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by justsometwat View Post
    How active are you with your customer's money?
    Do you log into their personal accounts?
    How much information do you give them about yourself?
    Do you draw the line when asking for a certain amount of money? Or do you make them find a way to keep giving?
    Do you allow them to send money via PayPal or other non-adult friendly venues? Has this ever ended badly for you?
    What do you give them in exchange for giving you money? If they ask for things in return do you give in to them at all?[/B]

    Any other advice is welcome!
    For me it's about control and being a puppet master. I don't get "active" with their money whatsoever. I make sure that everything is their idea, their boundaries, and I just push them a bit. I don't log into accounts. My thing is this. If you want to give me $1k, who am I to stop you? However, I assume no responsibilities. Everything is a gift.

    I only give them typical adult worker info.
    I usually make them find a way to keep giving. However, I constantly remind them that it's all their idea, advise them of their limits and to be careful of debt, etc. If they choose to go into debt over me, I'd rather it be something they were well aware of than have that fall on my head, be a victim of a chargeback or have them guilt me. I have a finsub now who's taken out $15k worth of loans in which he handed that over in a 2 month period. He still pays to this day but it's smaller amounts and he's not as active.

    I've allowed trusted pets to send me money varies ways. It hasn't backfired as of yet. Shameless but that's just a risk I'm willing to take and so far it's been okay for me. When I sold panties more frequently I accepted post office money orders and cash in the mail so...

    I give them my time, head games, and my seduction for their money. It really depends on what the sub wants. Some guys like to be wallet raped, some guys love to voluntarily give up money, but most of my subs like a slow, sensual money fuck I use my charm and seduction to milk them dry. I also have tools like toys and role play and poppers.

    I personally tend to give my subs what they want but they have to earn it. Sometimes it's pay for play, other times its just give and take. Most if not all of them don't expect nudity and some don't expect anything at all. I have one sub that just likes to surprise me with money. Aside from peeping occasionally at me on free chat he doesn't ask for anything or expect anything. He's more like a drive by type. My other sub who comes and goes and drops very large sums (think $1,200 here or there at once) likes to be teased, put in chastity, and drained slowly. However I exchange that for maybe 30 min and no nudity whatsoever.

    I do have one sub who loves tease and denial and he gives you what you ask for. I usually play a game which I will go higher as he gets more aroused/high, etc. It's usually $15, $30, $50 and sometimes I'll tell him to push the envelope and he tips $100 on top of it. All in all I tread carefully and allow them to give me what they want. I like them thinking it's their idea, their game/control but really I'm the one getting the pay day.




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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    I started to get angry and wanted to chew him a new asshole because I was so irritated. He kept telling me that he had the same arrangement for the last three years with his previous chick. I asked him why it stopped and apparently her mom got sick so she's out of the game for a while. I told him that if he decided to end it or that I went to far he could say it was credit card fraud or if he looked into it he would get my IP address. He tried to reassure me that he was very far away from me and that he wouldn't do that, but you know people lie.

    I had another guy want to be humiliated and he dropped a little bit of money on me. Ultimately I found him too needy and when I pulled the femdom card on him he got defensive and threw a hissy fit. I know most of these guys are going to jerk off to the thought of me controlling them, but I am sure at some point there will be one that's for real. I have very defined lines and I refuse to cross them, but I also don't want to drive customers away by being unsure of where THEY want the line drawn. I've straight up just started asking people WHY when they ask for certain things. If I don't understand it how am I supposed to play into it?

    I just don't want to waste my time or get fucked over. :\

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    When I say active, I mean do you TELL them to pay you? "I want this pair of heels that are $300, give me the money" "I have a bill due that's $150, pay me now", etc.

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    I don't personally, no. I'm a strong, alpha female type and I don't beg. I feel begging might work for some but when it comes to subs (and or men in general) they prefer a woman that makes them want to give them $300, heels, etc. It's okay to drop subtle hints but I always make sure it's their idea and not mine. If you work your magic and mind fuck them they'll want to give you the world. No need to chase.




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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    1. I accept monetary gift starting at 25 dollars and up.
    2. I never used Teamviewer.
    3. Give them my character's information only.
    4. No limits
    5. I will never use Paypal for adult transactions.
    6. I give them the pleasure of being used by me



    Quote Originally Posted by justsometwat View Post
    I tried searching for this topic, but I can't ever find anything I am looking for when I do, so I am sorry if this has already been posted.

    I have started doing femdom and humiliation videos and they have been selling very well. Apparently I am really convincing and have been making quite a bit of money on it. I had wanted to get into findom in more of a...I deserve it sort of way. Now, I am willing to tell people that they are pathetic piggies and degrade them and make them eat their own cum, but when it comes to telling them to give me money it's a bit harder.

    I have a client that wants me to log into his bank account, email, twitter, facebook, and cellphone. Now, I am not willing to do this for many, many reasons, one of those being credit card fraud as he wants to send me a debit card to use.

    I told him I wasn't willing to do that but gave him some other options. He wants to give me roughly $100 weekly to basically be an abusive girlfriend. While personally I don't think that's enough I think for the things he asked for, I have compromised with it makes for an OK bit of pretty much passive income. He's still going on and on about wanting me to log in and I have straight up said nope. In the last 2 days we have been talking he's only dropped around $100 so I am not to concerned about losing him one way or another. For the future I am curious how to handle different customers.

    FOR FINDOM chicks, my question is:

    How active are you with your customer's money?
    Do you log into their personal accounts?
    How much information do you give them about yourself?
    Do you draw the line when asking for a certain amount of money? Or do you make them find a way to keep giving?
    Do you allow them to send money via PayPal or other non-adult friendly venues? Has this ever ended badly for you?
    What do you give them in exchange for giving you money? If they ask for things in return do you give in to them at all?


    Any other advice is welcome!

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    What are the risks with using Teamviewer? Guys request it all the time, and have even considered it a time or two, but have always shied away from it because it seems like there could be a lot of risks to using it.
    I ask for email and social media account log in info in my blackmail applications, but it is optional. And of those collected, I have never logged into any, partly because I only want to pretend to fuck with their life, not actually be a real threat, and partly because I know most sites can pinpoint the general location that you log in from, and I'm not too hot on them knowing my state, much less my city.
    "Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair. Or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man...and give some back." Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    How active are you with your customer's money?
    I tell them when to send money or buy me things or go for a private chat. When I have a big purchase I want to make coming up I tell them to start saving or cutting back expenses. If they don't want to they can GTFO. LOTS of fakes LOVE to try to give you their credit card # among other BS, legally I have no right to use it and I don't. The way I approach them is not by taking or stealing money from them, it's teasing it out of them knowing they will pay to get sexual gratification. Every fetish you can hustle in multiple ways. It sounds like this guy already blew his $100 for the week, I'm interested if he ends up spending more. More spending = more serious customer. Communicating weekly on social media alone will be draining. I sell my kik on a monthly basis and luckily none of the guys are needy. But you can start to repeat yourself often and if you don't have a bank of phrases or something saved in your head (especially when new to a topic) can be a lot of work trying to come up with things to say to keep them hooked. The fact you mentioned he's only dropped $100 probably means you already know this dude aint worth the trouble!

    Do you log into their personal accounts?
    Pretty sure this is against 99% of most sites TAC and you could both likely lose your accounts

    How much information do you give them about yourself?
    If they want to get to know the "real me" I have lots of fake personas ready. Lies lies lies

    Do you draw the line when asking for a certain amount of money? Or do you make them find a way to keep giving?
    No, I enjoy the fetish just as much as them, and it thrills me knowing they worked with their own blood, sweat and tears in order to make me happy. I draw the line when they have no cash left, for certain customers I get them to keep a diary on their progress and give them goals to work toward

    Do you allow them to send money via PayPal or other non-adult friendly venues? Has this ever ended badly for you?
    NO! Although I've seen many girls doing it for months and still are and nothing seems to have gone badly for them. I however don't think it's worth the risk. If the guys don't pay the way I want them to pay they aren't a very good slave are they?

    What do you give them in exchange for giving you money? If they ask for things in return do you give in to them at all?
    My smile. They shouldn't ask for anything in return except maybe to give me more money muahaha

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    KourtneyKay is a motherfuckin boss. That is all.

    P.S. I sent a guy who was looking for more derogatory type of raceplay your way. (Derogatory his way) He seemed like a real sweetie and it's one of the things on my short list of things I won't do so I hope that's okay. <3


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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    Isn't everything we do Findom? At least that's the way I see it.
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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    No. Findom is it's own thing.

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    Findom is definitely in it's own category. You're going to find the guys that LOVE to be taken advantage of even when they get nothing but humiliation in return (if that!) and then there are the guys that spend money at their own pace and only want to spend what they decide (or they'll accuse you of being a rude bitch).

    My deal with all of this that I don't think I should have to do anything. You want to give me money, fine, but I am not wasting my time on you. I can spend that time making more videos that will sell to tons of men, rather than waste that time on one that might give me money.

    By logging into someone's accounts you run the risk of them accusing you of being malicious, finding your IP address, or trying to get you in major trouble with the law. That's why I shy away. I've tried giving out KIK info with some of these guys, but jesus christ are they demanding and when I tell them they are pissing me off and to fuck off they get pissy bitch with me. No, if that's the arrangement you wanted and that's what you're into you wouldn't act that way! I think they believe that's what they are into but when push comes to shove it's not really at all what they want.

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    http://www.reddit.com/comments/ak4h7...tic_financial/
    this is why i don't feel comfortable doing findomme stuff anymore outside of videos, guys like this are everywhere. :/

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    http://www.reddit.com/comments/ak4h7...tic_financial/
    this is why i don't feel comfortable doing findomme stuff anymore outside of videos, guys like this are everywhere. :/

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by ivybunny View Post
    KourtneyKay is a motherfuckin boss. That is all.

    P.S. I sent a guy who was looking for more derogatory type of raceplay your way. (Derogatory his way) He seemed like a real sweetie and it's one of the things on my short list of things I won't do so I hope that's okay. <3
    Awww thanks, babe It's funny this topic came up right around the time that my off and on finsub came back into my virtual life. Squeezed $200 out of his ass just yesterday including a "Please may I take off this chastity device and cum, Mistress?!" tax




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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by ivyaura View Post
    http://www.reddit.com/comments/ak4h7...tic_financial/
    this is why i don't feel comfortable doing findomme stuff anymore outside of videos, guys like this are everywhere. :/
    I've never dealt with guys like that. I respect their boundaries which is why I'm choosy when it comes to playing this game with them. That guy just cried over a few hundred bucks and made some of his "Mistresses" cancel the amazon items? OH HELLLZ NAH! He wasn't a finsub to begin with, he was some loser who wanted to play in the big leagues but couldn't afford it. The college guys tend to be the easiest slaves to get money from but the most guilty too and I rarely fucks with them.

    I had a boy back in 2008 who over time sent like $5k of his student loans. We recently ran into one another and he admitted that he's not into it anymore. He'd grown up, had a real job, and quit gambling his money. I had to respect him because otherwise I would've made him catch up for lost time Anyway, he would never try and ask me to give/release anything back. That's insane and the reason FinDommes shouldn't go into anyone's account.

    I'm giggling at all the responses about "that's the dumbest thing evaarrrr" when 99.9% of them spend their money some how, some way on luxury items that add up. They'll judge someone for having a 'dumb money fetish' but they'll splurge on date to get into some girl's panties and end up not getting laid at the end of the day. Most of us women end up getting monetary gains from men in one form or another but they're tricks and they just don't get it.




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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by ivyaura View Post
    http://www.reddit.com/comments/ak4h7...tic_financial/
    this is why i don't feel comfortable doing findomme stuff anymore outside of videos, guys like this are everywhere. :/
    Lol, I'm sorry but this part made me laugh out loud...

    It's been 7-8 months. I've spent $550. On the worst experience, a girl got me to give her $120 on Amazon and $220 on her personal service. I was literally destroyed. My credit card company called my parents the next day, and I had to beg her to cancel all the expenses (this is a pain when she had my amazon password)
    He was ruined by $550 over a 7-8 month period? That's $68-78/month. I spend more than that on late night burrito runs. He was "literally destroyed" by spending $340? $220 of that was for her "personal service"... wonder how much time she spent on him for that money. And then he had the nerve to ask her to cancel the charges? Christ, what an enormous jerk off.


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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    I read through all of that! I like how he's been active on that reddit account recently and appears to have bought snapchat access

    I think for him his problem was that it wasn't even his own money it was his parents money. I think he got a thrill from being "naughty" but didn't ACTUALLY want to be naughty and give women money. If anything I think he should be a sub in a NON-findom sense, especially from what he said in another reddit thread.

    I haven't heard from the guy again, so I've already made my mind up with this. If they want to give me money then they can, but I am not going to offer anything in return besides a thank you and maybe if their lucky a fan sign or something. No videos, no emails. no KIK, nothing. If it's not something I offer for a price, I am not going to let them give me money and expect anything in return. Luckily I only ever suggest tributes, so it's not like they are going to be able to force me into offering things and I won't get chargebacks.

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    That's $68-78/month. I spend more than that on...
    As I read this, my mind was already guessing: fast internet? the water bill? maybe some awesome yoga classes?

    late night burrito runs.
    I did not see that coming at all! And now I'm really hungry.
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    "dont worry, its slow for other models today"
    I'm not other models, its not slow.

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    ^Haha he goes to an "elite university" but he was "ruined" by spending $220. I spent that much every week in a very non-elite university on booze and pot.

    This redditer has really low standards for someone "elite".

    "Some women rake in tens of thousands of dollars or more a year. I know a domme who makes bank with her C4S site (1k a month) on top of her domination."

    Yes, raking in 10k per year means you'd be existing on a poverty level if it was your main source of income. Last I knew 1k per month is pretty average for a c4s studio, not making bank. Silly head is very clueless about our industry. Is he at university to work at McDonald's and make bank making $250 a week full time minimum wage?


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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    I already wrote somewhere, what i think all those "fetishes" and how to handle them.
    I have people,who loves to buy things for me.
    But non of those people actually like to give money they like to buy things.
    But i had on sites many people who liked to play" you got everything about me" on a teamviewer. And even they bought things from my wishlist which after, they canceled.
    So after this happened more than 5 times. I realise this is a fantasy not an actual fetish.
    And "customer" could be just a broke fuck who is wasting your time in 90% .so find a way to charge him,and keep "rubbing" that fantasy.
    But if a customer not serious, you just have to expel his fucking time wasting ass.
    Direction.
    Customer's contacting you, your move is to regonise if he serious or not, does he has money or not. If he has a little of money you can expel him like a mosquito(thats what i would do) or keep feeding his fantasy and waste your time, which will be underpaid and you will keep missing custies who actually pays.
    As you see on that reddit "drama" do you want to support his fantasy for 50$ per month? Spend probably hours on loser like that?for 50$? Exchanging endless amount of emails just for that. I would do a video dedicated for that and thats it! I would say buy those vids or fuck off, follow the direction on my vid.
    P.s. I went back to read on reddit.ohhh poor " domme" recived an ocean of messages from that loser. Better to have an enema everyday than 1 his email.
    Last edited by MissJu; 03-22-2015 at 11:12 AM.

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    Default Re: FinDom - Where do you draw the line?

    MissJu, it is an actual fetish, and there are men who will just "give" you money without buying things. I promise.

    It is true that there are a lot of time wasters, and you're smart to figure them out quickly and move on, but to say that it's not real, and no one does it, well, that's just incorrect.

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