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Thread: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

  1. #1
    Senior Member xxJolene's Avatar
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    Default I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    So today I was at the mall with my best friend, my soul sister, and we were eating dinner. We were tired and hungover. Some guy sits down at the table that was next to us and says "that looks good, does it bother you that i'm sitting here?" he was talking about the tattoo on my chest. We didnt say much of anything. Both of us have been going through things with sticking up for ourselves and not wanting to agitate the situation, so I just said thank and kept eating and my friend said she didnt care. He keeps trying to talk to us, asked us if we were hungover, asked us if we were on spring break. I made the lets get out of here face, we got up and left, walked around and went into the chocolate store. We were talking about how creepy it was and all of a sudden I see him walk into the store, get behind me for a second, and try to play it off and walk out. We freak out and start walking to the security desk. he keeps following us, sees us at the desk, and walks out. We request a gaurd out to the car (this was only a few hours ago btw) we wait for a long time and he walks back in from outside. Im shaking at this point, wondering if were going to get hurt, fearing getting raped. Then I start to hear my inner voice, my goddess voice. I get mad, I know I am powerful enough to protect myself, I stared him down. I know that we are divine feminin powerful women and no man can take our sexuality from us, no man can take our power. I was still shaken, but I knew he would not win. We get escorted out and are safe. This man is still out there looking for vulnberable girls, Im sorry for all the typos my hands are still shaking, Anyways I wanted to say it here because a part of the development of my newfound strength has been the strong beautiful women here. Camming has helped build my confidence, and having the support of you women here has helped so much, I even fangirl for some of you! You are all so amazing. Anyways I am also taking a break from camming, just to ground myself. Ive been feeling weakened these oast few weeks and there have been significant events that are healing those weak parts of me, and part of healing is the pain. Im going to step away and focus on school and myself, and I will be back when the time is right. Im full of all kinds of emotions right now.


    Once again thank you all for being supportive, strong, sexy, powerful, funny, sisterly girls. Women need to support eachother.
    xoxo
    Last edited by xxJolene; 03-23-2015 at 06:58 AM.


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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Thanks for sharing that. I think you should have nipped in the bud right away, & told him yes, it bothers us & then asked the mall/or restaurant to step in. Glad you're both ok & turned out well.
    Scary though.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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  4. #3
    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    I am so glad that you're safe. EVERYONE MUST watch this video:

    https://youtu.be/L2XFY00UV-s
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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  6. #4
    Senior Member xxJolene's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    I completley agree and I was mad at myself for not speaking up for myself, but I am learning and I am faithful in my process. There was a time where I wouldnt of even went to security, and been so careless. I'm definatley in a different phase of my life and Im starting to love myself and respect myself enough to know that I am strong. You all have had a positive effect on me

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  8. #5
    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Don't beat yourself up for it. We've all been there but when you know better, you do better.

    I don't want to sound like a man hater because I'm not, I love men but whenever a man (usually a stranger) talks to you, there's always some kind of ulterior motives. They might as well flat out asking 'do you want some dick?', LOL. This is another great thing about being a sex worker, you can instantly sniff out the bullshit.
    When you're put in an uncomfortable situation, it's more than okay to be a bitch.
    Quote Originally Posted by xxJolene View Post
    I completley agree and I was mad at myself for not speaking up for myself, but I am learning and I am faithful in my process. There was a time where I wouldnt of even went to security, and been so careless. I'm definatley in a different phase of my life and Im starting to love myself and respect myself enough to know that I am strong. You all have had a positive effect on me
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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  10. #6
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Quote Originally Posted by xxJolene View Post
    I completley agree and I was mad at myself for not speaking up for myself, but I am learning and I am faithful in my process. There was a time where I wouldnt of even went to security, and been so careless. I'm definatley in a different phase of my life and Im starting to love myself and respect myself enough to know that I am strong. You all have had a positive effect on me
    Marina, thanks for that vid.!
    OP, Good! Don't be mad @ ur self, it's a learning process..
    This book helped me as well "How to be Safe in an Unsafe World" by Harold Bloomfield. Literally covers every situation, from being on the bus, being followed, stared down, etc.
    I never had to use it (so far) in those or other worse situations, but it's helped me so much in everyday life.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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  12. #7
    Member PurpleLily's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Glad you're safe hun. It's crazy the lengths these creeps will go to. Stay strong! You definitely know how to protect yourself and use the resources around you. Smart woman...

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    Arrow Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Quote Originally Posted by Marina Starr View Post
    whenever a man (usually a stranger) talks to you, there's always some kind of ulterior motives. They might as well flat out asking 'do you want some dick?', LOL. This is another great thing about being a sex worker, you can instantly sniff out the bullshit.
    When you're put in an uncomfortable situation, it's more than okay to be a bitch.
    This^.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Quote Originally Posted by Marina Starr View Post
    I am so glad that you're safe. EVERYONE MUST watch this video:

    https://youtu.be/L2XFY00UV-s
    Thank you for this! This video was on point!
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Quote Originally Posted by Marina Starr View Post
    This is another great thing about being a sex worker, you can instantly sniff out the bullshit.
    When you're put in an uncomfortable situation, it's more than okay to be a bitch.
    I needed to hear this. Thank you!

    OP, you should be proud of yourself for growing as a person! Transitions in life aren't easy to make! Glad you're okay...

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  20. #11
    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    It changed my life so I had to share
    Quote Originally Posted by TheBrownFox View Post
    Thank you for this! This video was on point!
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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  22. #12
    Veteran Member smaddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    I can't help but wonder why this guy thought that his behavior would actually help him pick up girls.

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  24. #13
    Senior Member xxJolene's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Quote Originally Posted by smaddy View Post
    I can't help but wonder why this guy thought that his behavior would actually help him pick up girls.
    I can't either. What really gets me is he was being so obvious, we knew he was following us and he knew we knew and was still trying. Like he was that confident that he could was going to be able to take us, he's obviously done this before. He's still out there looking for girls who are intoxicated or who look weak on spring break, I live in FL so there's a lot of girls around here local and on from other places on vacation. Im thinking he was going to try to drug us, he was a pretty big guy but I don't know how one man can overpower 2 women. Karma will get his dick bitten off.

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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    +1 for the Gavin deBecker video. His book, 'The Gift Of Fear' is great - every woman should read it.

    Great quotes:

    "Every day, people engaged in the clever defiance of their own intuition become, in mid-thought, victims of violence and accidents. So when we wonder why we are victims so often, the answer is clear: It is because we are so good at it. A woman could offer no greater cooperation to her soon-to-be attacker than to spend her time telling herself, “But he seems like such a nice man.” Yet this is exactly what many people do. A woman is waiting for an elevator, and when the doors open she sees a man inside who causes her apprehension. Since she is not usually afraid, it may be the late hour, his size, the way he looks at her, the rate of attacks in the neighborhood, an article she read a year ago—it doesn’t matter why. The point is, she gets a feeling of fear.

    How does she respond to nature’s strongest survival signal? She suppresses it, telling herself: “I’m not going to live like that, I’m not going to insult this guy by letting the door close in his face.” When the fear doesn’t go away, she tells herself not to be so silly, and she gets into the elevator. Now, which is sillier: waiting a moment for the next elevator, or getting into a soundproofed steel chamber with a stranger she is afraid of? The inner voice is wise, and part of my purpose in writing this book is to give people permission to listen to it.”

    If you have a kindle unlimited account it is free right now: http://www.amazon.com/Other-Survival...s=gift+of+fear



    Here's another interview he did on primetime that is a great watch.

    Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgNuw-YlBxA
    Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R0TQe5-c2Q
    Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fMH5O-SSCk
    Part 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvuhvqW3lSk
    Part 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCQxTrKzXgU
    Part 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XAZ2Vh-BAk







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  28. #15
    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    +1 for the Gavin deBecker video. His book, 'The Gift Of Fear' is great - every woman should read it.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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  30. #16
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    that's a great video marina.. love you babes.. xoxoxo

    Quote Originally Posted by Marina Starr View Post
    I am so glad that you're safe. EVERYONE MUST watch this video:

    https://youtu.be/L2XFY00UV-s

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  32. #17
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    I hate that so many women are culturally trained to be "nice" instead of assertive when someone is setting off alarm bells. Newsflash, ladies- you DO NOT have to be nice to people who are crossing your boundaries! Be comfortable with telling people "no". It's a complete sentence and you have the right to use it on anyone you want for any reason.

    OP, very smart of you to get a guard to escort you to your car. Great thinking! I'm sure you realize now that you should have spoken up the moment he sat down at your table. Please know you would have been completely within your rights to give him the death stare and a firm response of, "Yes, actually it does. You need to leave now". That wouldn't make you a "bitch" that would make you "rightfully concerned with self-preservation".
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    I live in a small-ish town. I don't go out very often as a rule, but when I do it's to my local bar where I know every bartender, server, and bouncer as personal friends. That said, we have a running joke about how well I dispatch any and all attempts to hit on me.

    More than one drunk man has eyeballed me from across the room and swept in as soon as my boyfriend stepped outside for a smoke or to the bathroom. 'What's your name baby?' 'Is this seat free girl?' 'Want me to buy you a drink girl?' The answer to every single question is 'no.' Every time. And they act like I've been rude/bitchy/impolite 9 times out of 10. Well tough shit.

    Or the guy the other night who slides up and goes 'so I always see you go home with this guy at close but you're never together at the start of the night.' 'That's my boyfriend. Of course I go home with him. And I wasn't aware that there was a rule about needing an escort to sit in a bar for a cocktail.' 'Well, normally girls who sit alone are looking for company.' 'No, actually, normally girls sitting alone want to be left the fuck alone. We have friends to call if we want company.'

    There's some ass-backwards societal expectation that girls be nice. You answer if someone asks your name. You allow people to sit three inches away and leer at you if they want a chair. You answer all of their personal questions. And you always accept their drinks. Well, fuck society. I'm the woman people (read: men who got shot down) call Ice Bitch at the other bars in town. And that's totally fine with me, because I do not entertain the delusions of some half-drunk horny asshole who thinks I'm the town bicycle just because I happen to like top shelf liquor before bed.

    It's always better to go with your gut and I'm glad you did OP. I'd rather be the 'tight ass,' 'over reacting,' 'Queen Ice Bitch' of my town then the poor girl who comes up to me after these fuckers leave and goes 'that guy tried to assault me once.' Because that's happened before too. And that is completely fucking unacceptable.


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  36. #19
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    This older guy at the karaoke bar came up to me once and was like "Hey, sweetheart. I'm not like all these other Yo-boys out here. I got a brown belt in martial arts." LMFAO. Later he was like "I'D FUCK THE SHIT OUTTA YOU, GIRL." *rolls eyes* He actually got pissed off because he saw me having a conversation with a White guy. He gave me crap for it, and THAT was when I snapped and yelled at him to get the fuck out my face. Sometimes you gotta get a little mean to get your point across, and get these fuckers to leave you alone. Then he called me a bitch, like the typical butthurt guy does. It was the first time anyone in that bar had seen my little 5'2" ass go off like that. Lol. The bartender (my girl...she's a sweetheart) and security guys made the guy leave that night. That incident was the reason I decided to buy some pepper spray, and carry it with me when I go out (I do some walking at night, and do not drive).
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  38. #20
    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    Da fuck?! A lot of men, IF you wanna call them that assumed that you're there for their entertainment. These are almost always the ugliest, gutter butt trifling motherfuckers.
    Just because you find me sexually appealing, it does NOT mean I am promiscuous. I am a big advocate for the 'bitchy resting face'. I'm told I have a bad attitude all the time. FINE by me.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBrownFox View Post
    This older guy at the karaoke bar came up to me once and was like "Hey, sweetheart. I'm not like all these other Yo-boys out here. I got a brown belt in martial arts." LMFAO. Later he was like "I'D FUCK THE SHIT OUTTA YOU, GIRL." *rolls eyes* He actually got pissed off because he saw me having a conversation with a White guy. He gave me crap for it, and THAT was when I snapped and yelled at him to get the fuck out my face. Sometimes you gotta get a little mean to get your point across, and get these fuckers to leave you alone. Then he called me a bitch, like the typical butthurt guy does. It was the first time anyone in that bar had seen my little 5'2" ass go off like that. Lol. The bartender (my girl...she's a sweetheart) and security guys made the guy leave that night. That incident was the reason I decided to buy some pepper spray, and carry it with me when I go out (I do some walking at night, and do not drive).
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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  40. #21
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    Default Re: I just wanted to share something with you ladies...

    So proud of you!!!!! Stay strong, girl!

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