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Thread: Becoming more of a PL

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    Default Becoming more of a PL

    I’ve gotten many lap dances at many clubs in the past, but at my “home” club I never get dances, do the VIP thing, or anything else like that. I go about once a week and when I'm there, I like to just relax and drink. Drinks for dancers at this club are cheaper than my drinks and my drinks are cheaper than at a regular bar so I don't really mind buying drinks for anyone that wants to sit with me and chat for a while. Over the course of a night, I spend time with several dancers; they come by and hang out in between selling dances, doing VIP, sitting with regulars, etc. This includes one I consider my ATF. Even though I don't spend as much time (or money) with her as I do some of the other dancers, I consider her a friend; she doesn't ever ask me for money/tips and we go on regular (non-paid) dates OTC.

    Everyone there knows I don’t get dances and nobody asks. However, after knowing one another for a little over a year (with no dances) last week my ATF and I got drunk together and I asked her to give me a dance, as a one-time only thing. I must say, she did her job well - I got two and they were the hottest dances I’ve ever gotten. We didn’t do anything we hadn’t already done just sitting together out on the floor, but it was much more sensual. I can only assume she enjoyed it as well because I left shortly thereafter and she texted me until 3am trying to get me to come back just to hang out. I saw her the next day and neither one of us mentioned it at all.

    The thing is, now I’m interested in doing it again, but I haven’t really spent much money on her in the past and I’m worried that starting to do so now will change her opinion of me. If you had a customer that you also see outside of the club, what would you think if he all of a sudden started spending more money on you ITC? How would it affect your opinion of him?

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    I would be thrilled that I had succeeded in grooming you.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    Ouch. Also, probably true.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    She's probably just happy that her terrible long hustle may finally pay off. If you wanna spend money on her do it, but absolutely the dynamics will change. Sounds like you should have been hanging with her strictly outside of the club all this time anyways instead of taking up her valuable WORK time if you weren't paying for either.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    About time you spend some money with her. You have been going to her job and taking up her time and not producing any business.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    The OP sounds like a winner...

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    I can't speak for certain because I absolutely would not have tolerated you up to this point to begin with (I do not do OTC and don't make a habit of wasting time on non-spending customers,) but I think the ITC dynamic will change. If I were in her shoes, I'd spend less time with you for free on the clock now that you're FINALLY willing to open your wallet.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    Quote Originally Posted by Naida View Post
    I can't speak for certain because I absolutely would not have tolerated you up to this point to begin with (I do not do OTC and don't make a habit of wasting time on non-spending customers,) .
    ^This!

    Spending money on her will only raise her opinion of you. We don't respect customers who come into our place of work to window shop. If you enjoyed the dance, where is the harm in paying her for her time? It's win, win.

    If you are worried about it, just bring it up in conversation with her.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    You'll probably have a better SC experience if you keep spending. Other dancers will approach you now, because you will no longer be furniture. The reason no one asks, because that's your reputation.





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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    This story doesn't make much sense to me. Why would she spend a lot of time OTC with someone who doesn't spend on her, unless of course she has a legit romantic interest? I'm not buying this whole grooming argument - he has a history of non-spending in the club and other comments about the costs of drinks and finally buying only two lapdances don't exactly make him sound like the Moby Dick of club customers. And if there is a romantic interest, couldn't the OP think of better things to do with her then to buy LDs?

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    A year's worth of grooming with OTC hang outs and no payment of any type other than in the club drinks, seems unlikely unless it's a really really really really really long hustle and the dancer had reason to stay in the game because she had some reason to believe that there was huge monetary potential at the end of the rainbow. Or maybe she just really liked the OP. In any event, to the OP, I wouldn't overthink this. If you got dances from her, and she said ok, she's probably totally ok with you getting more dances from her.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    And how about stop going to that club if youre not bringing out the dough, go to a bar to have your drinks and just see her otc since she doesnt care about her time being compensated.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    The dynamic of your relationship will absolutely change now. She is in the club to make money, not be a buddy. Regardless of the fact that you see her OTC, ITC it is her job. At the very least you should have been giving her money to sit and chat with you. There a couple of girls in the club I go to that are not my style and will not get a dance from, but every once in a while when things are slow they will sit and chit-chat, I still give them a tip. It is a strip club, not a coffee bar where you have scintillating conversations. If you want to have a conversation with a dancer at least get a VIP room and do it in there.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    As others have said it wasn't a great idea getting a dance from her in the first place. Since you hang out with her OTC she could have danced for you privately at your/her place. I would just try to forget it and see if she forgets about it as quickly as you do. Don't mess up what seems to be working for both of you.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    Oh and instead of assuming that she doesnt care about being compensated, ASK her if shes fine with the current thing you to have going on. maybe shes not bold enough to say, "hey youre wasting my time...." or maybe she'll say "what we have is nice w no $$ involved...." but you dnt know either way.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    It's not like she gives up money to sit with me - if there are opportunities to sell a dance elsewhere, or if a regular comes in or whatever, she'll go off and do that (just like everyone else that sits with me). I think she just prefers sitting with me than by herself or with someone she doesn't know (that also isn't buying dances) when it's slow or when she's tired.

    I know I could get a private dance from her OTC, but my question was specifically geared towards getting dances from her ITC. I simply got curious one night and decided to get a couple of dances while I was in the club. I know from previous experience that if I had gotten a dance from anyone other than her, the night would not have ended well.

    It hasn't come up again since then, so I'm just going to drop it.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    Get dances from her. Pay for them. The synergistic effect encourages other customers to get dances from her.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    I don't understand what the dilemma is, original poster. if you are dating her outside of the club, either a. she really likes you and you would be getting lapdance or better treatment outside of the club or b. she would have brought up the topic or c. you would be getting involved in her regular life and something as non-consequential as a lapdance wouldn't matter since you'd have real world problems to think about.

    call me a dirty dog, but your experience at your 'home' club sounds pretty tame 'n lame. do you even tip the stage? are the dancers topless/nude outside of lap dances? I would at least hope you're getting some quality flirty to dirty talk, but i doubt it if you don't pay the dancers while you drink with them. seems like you're going to an action movie with all the stunts, car chases, and gunfights taken out.

    in a roundabout way, it sounds like you club to gossip with the dancers. you're watching every other guy get some lap dances, but you just sit and gab. doesn't sound too fun to me-sounds like you are punishing yourself, visiting the club for over a year and not getting any dances from your 'atf' who you are dating but refuse to pay for dances at the club because you think 'only
    pathetic losers buy dances'.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    I don't understand what the dilemma is, original poster. if you are dating her outside of the club, either a. she really likes you and you would be getting lapdance or better treatment outside of the club or b. she would have brought up the topic or c. you would be getting involved in her regular life and something as non-consequential as a lapdance wouldn't matter since you'd have real world problems to think about.

    call me a dirty dog, but your experience at your 'home' club sounds pretty tame 'n lame. do you even tip the stage? are the dancers topless/nude outside of lap dances? I would at least hope you're getting some quality flirty to dirty talk, but i doubt it if you don't pay the dancers while you drink with them. seems like you're going to an action movie with all the stunts, car chases, and gunfights taken out.

    in a roundabout way, it sounds like you club to gossip with the dancers. you're watching every other guy get some lap dances, but you just sit and gab. doesn't sound too fun to me-sounds like you are punishing yourself, visiting the club for over a year and not getting any dances from your 'atf' who you are dating but refuse to pay for dances at the club because you think 'only
    pathetic losers buy dances'.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    Quote Originally Posted by alibby View Post
    Oh and instead of assuming that she doesnt care about being compensated, ASK her if shes fine with the current thing you to have going on. maybe shes not bold enough to say, "hey youre wasting my time...." or maybe she'll say "what we have is nice w no $$ involved...." but you dnt know either way.

    I have a couple dancers (sisters) who I danced with one sister EXCLUSIVELY for 2 years

    we hung out OTC alot (well monthly) for no $$ . No sex just play and chat and bar time. A litle travel.
    then one day she started shoving every tip i gave her back in my shirt. I asked for a CR and she refused any tip. Still did her dancer thing in back (all I asked her to do was sit and smoke w me).

    Now, I go in and if it's dead, we sit and drink. I help her look for hustle. If it's busy I roll out quickly... and don't hang. If they're bored...I hang. I'm basically the "free parking, free drink (its BYOB) corner when it's dead. Kinda PL, kinda OK.

    Never gonna be the lover/superpal/etc that I think we once wanted (or I did), but it's where we are at.

    Sister and I hang a bit too...and we hang as a trio. ..

    Money would make it weird. Ive stuck hundreds in their G and they bring it back 20 mins later and laugh.

    bottom line..>ASK HER

    This girl told me at the bar guys that paid could never be friends and I needed to stop paying.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    Quote Originally Posted by thatguy6673 View Post
    but refuse to pay for dances at the club because you think 'only pathetic losers buy dances'.
    I don't think that. Nor did I say it, although I guess the title of the thread makes the implication. Not my intention. However, overall I think you're right - it does seem to have been non-consequential in that nothing has changed. I don't know why I was worried about it. Oh well.

    call me a dirty dog, but your experience at your 'home' club sounds pretty tame 'n lame. do you even tip the stage? are the dancers topless/nude outside of lap dances? I would at least hope you're getting some quality flirty to dirty talk, but i doubt it if you don't pay the dancers while you drink with them. seems like you're going to an action movie with all the stunts, car chases, and gunfights taken out.
    I don't see what difference it makes, but FWIW it's a topless club, and the dancers stay that way about half of the time. Most are pretty flirty, but not much dirty talk. When my "ATF" is around, there tends to be quite a bit of shenanigans.

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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    Quote Originally Posted by pinups4 View Post
    I have a couple dancers (sisters) who I danced with one sister EXCLUSIVELY for 2 years

    we hung out OTC alot (well monthly) for no $$ . No sex just play and chat and bar time. A litle travel.
    then one day she started shoving every tip i gave her back in my shirt. I asked for a CR and she refused any tip. Still did her dancer thing in back (all I asked her to do was sit and smoke w me).

    Now, I go in and if it's dead, we sit and drink. I help her look for hustle. If it's busy I roll out quickly... and don't hang. If they're bored...I hang. I'm basically the "free parking, free drink (its BYOB) corner when it's dead. Kinda PL, kinda OK.

    Never gonna be the lover/superpal/etc that I think we once wanted (or I did), but it's where we are at.

    Sister and I hang a bit too...and we hang as a trio. ..

    Money would make it weird. Ive stuck hundreds in their G and they bring it back 20 mins later and laugh.

    bottom line..>ASK HER

    This girl told me at the bar guys that paid could never be friends and I needed to stop paying.
    Dancers like this confuse me. I've had a few customers end up becoming friends OTC because of the "six degrees" effect, even having one pick me up and drop me off at my home to go out of town to bike rallies together, but they have all been aware that I will treat them exactly like customers on the clock even if our conversations are more personal. Real life friends are aware that they will get zero special treatment from me if they come to the club while I'm working. If they're not paying me for my time, I'm not giving them my attention when I'm AT WORK. I mean, I wouldn't go to their jobs to take up their time or ask for free service, so they're definitely not allowed to do it to me.

    But meh. They exist, even if I have no clue why.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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  35. #23
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    Default Re: Becoming more of a PL

    Quote Originally Posted by Naida View Post
    Dancers like this confuse me. I've had a few customers end up becoming friends OTC because of the "six degrees" effect, even having one pick me up and drop me off at my home to go out of town to bike rallies together, but they have all been aware that I will treat them exactly like customers on the clock even if our conversations are more personal. Real life friends are aware that they will get zero special treatment from me if they come to the club while I'm working. If they're not paying me for my time, I'm not giving them my attention when I'm AT WORK. I mean, I wouldn't go to their jobs to take up their time or ask for free service, so they're definitely not allowed to do it to me.

    But meh. They exist, even if I have no clue why.
    Agreed. When I'm at the club...we scan the room together for a hustle. If its busy they roll on and I go home. I guess its a form of safety from boredom

    funny thing is, I've become so immune to the club that the girls will ask me how old do you think her tits are cute and I'll actually have to look up from my phone to look at the girl, because I no longer pay attention to the other dancers if I'm not tipping them

    So part of the question is why I go...lol

    I guess...where else can I go at 3am to hang w friends. Most people sleep lol

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