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Thread: Am I Procrastinating? Do you ever feel like this?

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    Senior Member naughtybustyteen's Avatar
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    Default Am I Procrastinating? Do you ever feel like this?

    I think the answer might be a yes.

    I am kinda nervous about camming again. I'm not gonna lie there's a self confidence thing going on here -
    or the lack of it, but I really don't want it to hold me back.

    There are also real, practical reasons. My last attempt at camming was rushed with little research behind the attempt.
    It mean't that my equipment was shit, my patience was shitter and my drive and motivation was lukewarm at best.

    Now, I want to make up for that. I spent a few hundred on things I need. I'm freaking out on building a nice disguise for my
    cam persona. I'm not deathly afraid of being found out, but I thought it'd better to anticipate these things and try to prevent it.
    Hence, I'm on wig hunt, lol!

    I was going through depression then, as I am now, but I think my biggest enemy was going in blind.
    I live with my parents and with the holidays coming soon, my siblings are coming home so the house will be busy,
    so basically no privacy to cam comfortably and steadily - at least not for the next 2 weeks.

    Thing is, my bank account is running low, I'm living on credit cards - not good. So basically I'm on edge.
    I'm even wondering if the cam thing is worth it for someone like me.
    I hate to say it - and yes I have read the BBW threads and have read the wise words of Goddess Sam38G,
    but anxiety is a bitch and when it hits you with self doubt, you start to wonder if these 50 inch hips and huge belly will ever make you money.
    Or if your skin is too dark or hair is too kinky.

    Its a mess.
    Sometimes, I just want to log on and fuck off the self doubt, but realistically it much harder to do.

    Can any of you guys relate to this?
    Last edited by naughtybustyteen; 03-28-2015 at 07:48 PM.

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    Default Re: Am I Procrastinating? Do you ever feel like this?

    I can, so much! I take a lot of breaks from camming, and getting back into is so hard. I always hate hate hate the first few days, especially when I've been anxious. My head is full of so much self doubt, and the things the men say in chat make my skin crawl, and just makes me hate myself more. A lot of the time, when I first start, I'm struggling so hard I can't even bring myself to put on makeup or real clothes. It is the fucking worst.

    BUT I always power through. I know it is hard for a few days, but then it gets better. It gets fun, I feel sexy, I find guys I like to chat with who keep me entertained. I get excited about creative things I can do during downtimes, like working on my website or clips. I love doing my hair and my makeup and my nails, and then the cash starts rolling in!

    I've gone through this so often, I know the hard part at first does not last forever. That it gets better. I've done a lot of really powerful art and writing to help me sort that out, and to help remind myself that camming can be hard, but I also really like it. And I remind myself that, though those first days are hard, I would still have been miserable in bed from anxiety about lack of money and feeling like a useless, ugly person, who doesn't have a "real job" (as if camming is not a real job!), for days anyway. Putting what little energy I have into getting on cam on a regular basis, on a schedule, regardless of whether or not it is making me money at first, is just the first few steps on the path to feeling better. It can be like pulling teeth, I know, but getting started, and getting regular, helps!

    Try not to beat yourself up if you don't feel like you're meeting your standards at first (re: time online, money made, whatever), just keep at it every day, your stride will come.


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    Default Re: Am I Procrastinating? Do you ever feel like this?

    Have you considered making clips? I often see bbw clips as the top selling clips site wide on clips4sale, so I know there is a HUGE market for it! Plus, the best part about making clips is that you can make & edit them on YOUR time, so 10 minutes here and 15 there is completely doable. It's also easier to disguise yourself by manipulating the camera angle & edit out things you don't want people to see (verses live camming where there is no "do over" lol). I know some women who don't show their faces at all in their clips and have become rather successful. Just look around on c4s and I'm sure you'll find some fetishes that will automatically make you go "Yeah, I could do that!" It's also a nice confidence booster for camming IMO.

    Regardless of what you decide as far as clips or camming, make sure you remember that in this industry there is someone for everyone. You can be short, tall, skinny, curvy, dark, light, sassy or sugary sweet and there is ALWAYS someone out there who will think you're the sexiest woman to ever walk the earth! I remember I did a lipstick video once and had some guy write a 2 page letter about how much he loved my cleft chin. I was floored... mostly because I was super self conscious about my chin at the time. Hearing that someone actually loved it & purchased my clip because of it blew my mind. So again... there is someone for literally everyone, I promise.

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